Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)
Friday, November 18, 2011
Little Golden Blonde Haired Boys with Blue Eyes....... I went to run errands this morning and stopped at Walmart. I noticed as I walked around shopping ... little blonde-haired boys with blue eyes sitting in different shopping carts...with their mothers pushing them. It just took me back in time when Tommy was a little blonde-haired boy with his beautiful blue eyes. It seemed today I kept seeing little boys that looked just like him at that age. Sometimes I see big guys that look just like Tommy and I just look so hard trying to see Tommy as he was ... just for a few seconds. He was a big, blonde-haired guy with blue-green eyes and he was so handsome. I was so proud of my son. On Sunday, November 20th.... is Tommy's birthday... he would have been 42 years old. I love you, Son. When I left Walmart I began crying because I miss my son... I realize that I can't bring him back and I've accepted he is gone and all that good stuff one's supposed to do. I do know that even with doing all that..... a mother's love can't just stop and her mind can't just forget her child... because he is gone. I was thinking about Tommy drinking drinks without ice and how his teeth had become sensitive to the cold and I was thinking about a little place that I worried about on his face from working out in the sun years ago... it's strange, I know.......