I once saw a man some years ago that I hadn't seen since I was the little girl who took the bottle of aspirins.... and ran away from 'home' afterwards. Something that I never told anyone almost happened to me and I may have never been found but, somehow... something about me or what I said ...protected me. I saw this man as an adult and he saw me as an adult and we were in a restaurant.... and I could sense his eyes coming back to me studying me to see 'if' I was that little girl that ran away years ago.. and the little girl he picked up. I know he knew it was me.... I could have been ugly to him or I could have even ruined his life in front of his family sitting there. I chose not to.... but, I did smile gently at him... in forgiveness. I never looked at him again and heard later that he died. I was glad I silently forgave him in that smile because.... I was so fortunate to have lived.
He was the husband of someone my mother knew at that time... his name was....... I never knew his real name but... I think I may have then.... I just don't want to remember it now. I can't. I would never cause grief for a family if they recognized the name. I'm really lucky I was found alive and as I've gotten this old..... I have seen many times what happens to little missing girls when they go missing.
I got to come back when most young girls are raped and found dead somewhere. I was almost raped but, something that man 'saw' in me ..... stopped him and he let me get out of the car. He only hurt me... alittle....
I feel that shaky feeling inside .... and I really feel like crying.. just alittle. I don't know 'why'... but, I do. It's time to shut the door on this memory.
He knew I could recognize him because ever so often 'then'.... I saw him around. But... he let me get out and walk away ...knowing what he almost did and what he did do. This was a black color in my life... I don't like dark colors, I really don't. I associate them with such pain and grief. The door closes on this... now.
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