Friday, January 6, 2012



January 06, 2012

Just last week she'd been laying on the ground, coming back to the world she had just wanted to end. Her spirit was broken, her heart crushed, no one to turn to, lonely, she had to fight her battles alone. She almost died... alone.

Anthony had made her a prisoner in the home she loved. He wanted to 'have his cake and eat it, too'. He wanted her, and he wanted all the women he desired, also.

Anthony was a good man, but... Anthony was changing into someone she didn't recognize. He never drank, nor smoke or did drugs. His worse habit was to drive fast cars and motorcycles, and drive them fast he did.

He was well thought of in his community. People always said he was honest, hard-working and he was a man of his word. He'd give you the shirt off his back. No one would have ever believed he would one day become the most hated man around.

She... (yes, that's her name just as John, Mary or Sue is a name)... She was Anthony's wife and soon to be ex-wife. Anthony knew a lawyer who could help them get a quick divorce when She pressed him for one.

You see, She had been doing alot of thinking since last week and she knew that she'd never try to commit suicide again. She promised herself she would never do that. She was going to hold her ground from now on... if someone knocked her down.. she was damn-well going to get back up and dust her pants off. From now on... She was going to meet things head-on, come hell or high water.

She's fighting spirit had rekindled to a bright, red flame. She wasn't going to die, she had everything to live for. She also, wasn't going to take anymore shit from Anthony. He'd practically raised her, they married when she was fifteen... he thought he was her father and could tell her what to do... and she had damn-well better listen to him.

No more! No more! She was becoming stronger, She was becoming determined to make her life better.

She decided to move to her mother's home in Raleigh, North Carolina. Anthony said he'd let their little son, Tommy, go to stay for a while... then, he could be brought back to stay with his mother for a time. She and Anthony would share him, they all loved this precious little boy.

It started off good that way, Anthony made sure they were taken care of financially. He would drive to Raleigh to see them and leave a large amount of money with She, to take care of their needs.

She didn't have to work but, she took a part-time job in a restaurant to be around people. She and little son, Tommy, ate their meals there each day. She would take Tommy to eat breakfast and in the evenings, they ate supper there. Their meals were something everyone raved on. She never cooked, nor did she desire to.

She kept herself and her son dressed in the finest. Tommy had designer haircuts and things he wanted to play with. She took Tommy and David, her little brother to the skating rink in Raleigh on weekends. She did that with the thoughts that as long as the boys were having fun and didn't mind her being along... she knew they were safe and she could protect them.

She didn't know how to skate but, that didn't stop her. She was determined to skate at least enough to know how it felt. She had stood to watch everyone skate around with big smiles on their faces, holding hands with each other, talking and laughing.

She even felt the wind off people as they sped by her on their way around the huge skating rink! It felt exciting, it felt exhilerating, it felt......... so inviting! She wanted to feed the wind on her face and the thrill of going around in that huge circle, and smile and...... feel happiness! She wanted to go, to go now!

She hurriedly went to the counter to rent the skates she would need on her little journey around that big, beautiful, colorful circle! She looked back as she waited for the boy to find her size. She saw Tommy and David having a big ole time, both had big smiles on their faces. She couldn't wait to join them!

She paid the boy and took her skates and went to sit down to put them on. She realized she was so nervous! How in the world will I get to the skating rink... I've never walked in skates, Oh my God!

It didn't stop her, She was tired of being afraid of everything and more than anything... She wanted to live, she wanted to feel the wind on her face and to smile, to laugh and talk... with other people.... people who would smile, laugh and talk back with her.

This began She's journey on another path in life. She began her journey with the wind on her face, she smiled and she laughed in happiness, she loved the colors the lights were making on the icy skating rink! She wanted to go around and around... She wanted to never stop!

She was on the ice holding her hands out to balance herself, smiling, feeling the wind from everyone speeding by her. She was happy though, she was skating in her slow, awkward way with the hopes of making her own wind... to fly in her own wind... in the colors going around and around on that ... circle of ice! She wanted to be.. the colors!

She was flying, flying around that big circle and the thrill of it made her smile! She didn't feel any fear because... a group of Vietnamese kids had come flying around that skating rink and on either side of her... they had grabbed each of her hands and took She with them on their journery around the rink!

The wind was on her face, she became the colors that moved around that skating rink! She saw only smiles, felt only happiness and colors where her eyes looked. She closed them for a moment while flying through the air on those skates with people who for the moment.... cared about her! She felt! She took her deep breath and opened her eyes and lived for that moment!

The Vietnamese kids were chattering and laughing and saying things to her that she didn't understand while skating. She just nodded her head and smiled.... She felt safe and she had no reason to distrust them, no matter that she didn't understand a word they said.

They had shared a journey with her in life that she'd never get to go on by herself... they shared their wind, their happy smiles and laughter and made She feel alive.. alive and wanting to live her life in the fullest.

She was alive again, feeling young in her heart matching the young woman she was. She would never forget this moment ... She remembers it well... today. She is smiling as you

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