Thursday, March 8, 2012





I would like to share something very different with my readers that I've thought about ... ALOT. I know it will sound very strange, but... it really happened. I will say this beforehand..... even if it's not like that, I think about it... I think you would to.

Hopefully, you'll get a smile from it, Skip and I do.... 'now'. Who could be so! Either way.... it's good. Remember I told you that no matter how bad something is...... you have to find humor in 'good taste'... to make it better. This is an example of that... and I think you all can see 'that I'm going to be alright'... now. It's one of the 'fun ways' to remember Tommy.

One day Tommy was visiting, we were laughing, talking when Tommy stopped petting Fairchild, our 11 year old Rottie. Tommy loved Fairchild very much. Tommy looked up at me and said the darnest thing ...'if I die, I want to come back as yours and Skip's dog'!

It's common knowledge that we are are true 'dog-lovers'. We love, care and protect our Pups. They sleep on the bed with us (yes, they do), they are fed good,have fresh water... all in clean dishes (I wash them), have their chewbones, treats. We have a chain-link fence to keep them protected. We are always talking to them, and petting them, loving them.

I don't know 'why' that stood out to me when he said that last year at the time he said it. It always stayed in my mind.

Now, I think about what he said, and smile. I smile because we 'never know'. Of course, reincarnation could be true, or it could 'not' be true. But... I will tell you something strange... think about it. I smile when I do, so does Skip when we bring the subject up. We even 'test' it out.....

Tommy was born on November 20, 1969

Tommy died May 29, 2010

Kissy, our young Rottie, was born on November 02, 2010....... just 5 months after Tommy went to heaven.

Now... we know that most likely Kissy isn't 'Tommy'. :))) Sometimes we do 'test' him to 'see'! We'll say 'Tommy!' or talk about Tommy... Kissy never pays us any mind. He doesn't have any reactions to make us think something is strange. (I've watched alot of tv... :))).

I am smiling now... I wanted to share this. This is one of those things to bring a smile to make sadness stay at bay. Tommy would have loved this, and I can hear his laughter echoing in my mind.

Tommy and Skip, and I... always laughed and joked. This was one of our special times together with Tommy when he said that. It was a very nice compliment when he said that. 'Each of us was always saying................the darnest things!' We had such fun........

I don't think Tommy was reincarnated... as Kissy. It's just uncanny how his birthday is 11-02-2010..... Tommy's birthday is 11-20-1969.... Tommy went to heaven 5 months before Kissy was born. It's just special... because of what Tommy said. :)))

Now... don't go telling people that I'm thinking our Kissy is 'Tommy'. It's just a happy, fun thing to remember about Tommy. He could say the most precious things... this is one that made an impression on me. He knew how we cared about our pups, animals.

We used to tell Tommy about feeding some opossums, raccoons, and the squirrels, and deer where we used to live up on 'Fairchild's Mountain' named after our infamous Fairchild, the 11 year old Rottweiler. Tommy truly loved that little 'mountain', he really wished to live there where he felt peaceful.

We have wished to buy that little acre of land...of course, we can't afford it now....... that's the last place I saw my son... I go there each day to feed the feral cats we've fed for years... there are 9 of them. I walk around looking......

I look down at the deck where Tommy stood telling me that he was leaving in the morning to go to Myrtle Beach with his family... at first he was going to stay behind... something made him change his mind. Whatever it was, he was feeling so happy, excited.

Tommy said....... 'mama, I going to the beach and I'm looking forward to spending the first time with Taban at the beach playing... it's our first time'.

I saw such sunshine in his smile as he spoke. Isn't it something how this 'stood out' to me?

He died...collapsed on that beach while running, playing with little Taban the next day... he died doing exactly what he was looking forward to doing... I know this to be true.

He died....'beautifully' as we'd all hope to do some day... doing 'exactly' what we want to do, with who we want to do it with, and where we want to be.... no suffering, possibly no pain as .... he quickly 'shed his human form' to... walk straight into heaven... smiling.

I saw that little smile on his face when I stood there looking at him, my tears falling... I wasn't smiling, but... I saw his. I felt he wanted to tell me to please 'be alright, mama'. He would have known that I would almost die myself to hear that he'd died... he, my precious son whom meant the world to me. He knew how much he meant to me, and he would have been afraid for me.

I can see in my mind's eye... up on the roof Tommy was standing there pressure-washing our house, at the top of the driveway he was sitting there on the ground, in the driveway where he washed mine and Skip's vehicles, at the picnic table where he sat to eat the 2 sandwiches he swore ...'mama, these are the best sandwiches I've ever eaten!' Oh, that sunshine smile he had! Reaching into his eyes reflecting love from his heart to his mama. I felt it so deeply at that moment... I was happy that I'd made 2 'ordinary' sandwiches 'taste so good' to him.

I stand at the sidewalk to the house and see in my mind.... my tall, golden-handsome son leaning down to give me the 'last kiss' in both of our lives, I hug him back with so much motherly love. Yes, his mother loved him with her very heart. Thank-God I always told him no matter if it embarassed him, or I said it 'too much'... my son 'knew' his mother loved ...him. I 'knew' my son loved ... me.

I walk to where the gate was when we lived there... I look toward the driveway 'seeing' Tommy driving between the two trees on either side ... looking toward me ... smiling. He toots the horn on his white pickup that he was so proud of... he's smiling, I'm smiling. This was the last time we got to smile at each other...........................

Tears, more tears........ where do they come from? I'm fine ... it's just love of a 'different texture'..... liquid. I wonder if it can be captured in a little bottle to keep always? If it could, I would wish to capture all my tears for my grandchildren so, one day they could actually 'see' my love in some kind of form they could hold in their hands... there would be so many that would be 'bigger than their hands'... they would have to stand and see maybe a.... huge, transparent 'globe'... one huge 'ball' of my tears in a solid shape, sparkling in the light like a diamond.

They would see how much their Granny Gee loved/loves them. That 'globe of love' would reflect Granny Gee's love. Hopefully my words 'here' will ... be that 'globe of love' that they can read, know and hold in their hands.

They may never know me while I'm alive.... but, they can through my 'writing voice'... feel the specialness of my words for each of them. I love you, Taban. I love you McKenzie. Love, Granny Gee


1 comment:

  1. I can understand that Tommy would want to come back as your and Skip's dog! He would have been taken care of very good! He knew that too. It is nice when one can "go" when doing somthing they truly love to do. Tommy was with his son and the two of them were having fun. Love, Ms. Nancy