'SHARKS' ... WITH TEASED HAIR, RED LIPSTICK, AND A COCKED-UP EYEBROW... THAT GLEAM IN THEIR EYES...
BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES aka GRANNY GEE
I am a free spirit, soul... I am 'myself'. If I change to what you want... I am no longer 'myself'. No longer 'Granny Gee'... no longer 'Gloria'.......
These words came to my mind as I was thinking about people whom I love, but, never see. I was thinking that they don't know me any better than I know them.
Where I think they are pushy, dominating... they really aren't. It's 'just their way'. Just as the more I'm 'pushed, dominated', the harder I fight to 'get away'. That's 'my way'.
I've learned through many years to 'just be myself'. As a young girl I 'would have thought I was loved' when someone wanted to push, dominate me. Through the years I learned 'I don't want to be loved like that'. I'd rather be lonely for the rest of my life than for someone to 'crush my soul'. I'm ..... going to be myself.
Mr. Skip and I are 'perfect' for each other. My hero, my best friend, my husband... I would never think about another man 'if he weren't here'. All these many years I've known true, real love... I don't know if it possible to know that 'twice' in one's life.
I walk into fast food restaurants in the mornings... I see many 'lonely souls', mostly women.... sitting, watching every person who comes in the door. Hoping, praying that they'll catch the attention of some man... somebody. Somebody to be their friend, lover... someone to care about them. Just someone.... it doesn't matter 'who'.
Teased up gray hair, 'blonde' hair..... lots of thick make-up to hide life's lines, lots of jewelry sending off signals to every man who walks through the door...telling him to 'watch out, watch out'... there are 'man-eaters, sharks... in here'. He averts his eyes as he walks to the counter to order, walks to the table where his buddies are. They all have watched what transpired as he walked in the door... they've all experienced it... every morning.
It's sad, humorous, embarassing ... to watch. The woman, women think they are clever about hiding what they want... they are transparent. I always watch because.... I've always been a people-watcher... not only that... I've always watched others.... so, as to not make the mistakes 'they make'.
Sometimes... this is just a thought.... maybe we should have signs to alert us when we walk 'in the waves of humanity'... there are 'sharks, maneaters, woman-eaters, people-eaters... be aware, proceed at your own risk'. We have signs for everything else.
I wonder if Granny Gee teased her hair up high, put on thick blue eyeshadow, red-red lipstick and a ton of jewelry, high-heel shoes and a mini-skirt, with low-cut blouse........ I wonder what would happen if she walked into a fast food restaurant?
First of all.... I would be the one to 'look away' from everyone, not wanting to be noticed. I would be afraid of the expressions I'd see. Expressions of surprise, pity, 'maybe some interest'... eyes full of laughter at the 'gall of that woman'! Guess what! I'm laughing and.... I haven't done it! I know that 'would be a mistake'!
Can you see it? Close your eyes ... see Granny Gee like this, see 'yourself'........ do we need to go any farther? It's just too much for my mind to bear!
No... ole Granny Gee wouldn't want to be a man-eater, shark. She'd prefer to be quiet, noticeable in a 'good way'... holding her head up high, sweet smile on her face. She wouldn't ever worry about 'attracting just any man'... she likes, loves herself too much. She'd wear her 'life lines' ..proudly. She knows she is lucky to have had all these 'extra' years.
When you've loved the best, and they loved you.... there's nothing else but... friends. For-real good, clean friends.... friendship that will last a 'lifetime'. Granny Gee would only want these kind of people in her life... she's old enough to know what matters in life... now.
No... I wouldn't want to sit there with 'that gleam in my eyes', my teeth showing in a smile, my tongue hanging out, my eyebrow cocked in a flirty way.... hands fluffing my teased up hair, challenging 'just any man to come get me'....................... I'm lonely. No... that's not Granny Gee's way. She likes herself... and always has something to do to.
Though... it'd be fun to 'play that joke'... but, not fun. :))) I wonder if the women I've spoken of.... I wonder if they quit 'trying so hard'... accept their age, be themselves... have confidence, quit signaling to 'just any old man'... I wonder if they would attract more 'real' friends... even the men they desire?
Alot of times when one goes after something 'too hard', they only succeed in pushing it back 'away' from them. I wonder if they 'relax in themselves, slow down, quit being desperate'... I'm wondering if what they desired... would 'come to them'... instead?
How would I know? I'm just an 'ordinary-extraordinary-unusual-everyday' person! I am Granny Gee/Gloria... I do things 'my way'. :))) :))) :)))
Sometimes.... I am mischievious, silly... I'll never be 'too old' to be any other that way! I'll write more later... I have to 'go fix my hair.... I wonder if I should use that blue.......... red......'
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)