TOMMY, COME HOME

TOMMY, COME HOME

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/aka GRANNY GEE

HIS SOUL SOARED TO HEAVEN WITH SUCH JOY... ANGELS WERE THERE BENEATH TO WATCH OVER HIS LITTLE BOY...

IT'S TIME TO COME HOME, TOMMY... THE ANGELS ARE THERE WITH TABAN TO WAIT FOR HIS MOMMY

'COME SOAR WITH US', SAID THE SEA GULLS AS THEY FLEW... YOU MADE IT HERE IN TIME... YOU 'KNEW'

IT'S TIME TO REST YOUR WEARY SOUL AND FLY... THOUGH IT WILL MEAN YOUR LOVED ONES WILL CRY

COME HOME, TOMMY, IT'S TIME TO GO ..YOU GOT HERE IN TIME TO CREATE A LASTING MEMORY, SO...

LITTLE TABAN WILL NEVER DOUBT HIS DADDY'S LOVE... LITTLE TABAN, HE'LL ALWAYS FEEL HIS DADDY'S LOVE... 'FROM ABOVE'

WRITTEN BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/ aka GRANNY GEE... May 25, 2012 GBB

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OCEAN... PAINTED BY LINDA IVIE ...2012

REMEMBERING TOMMY, MY SON... MY ONLY CHILD

This painting was done recently by my first cousin, Linda Ivie. She was thinking of Tommy during the time she painted it. Tommy died at the beautiful ocean where the waves were breaking, running and playing with his three year old son, Taban.

Can you see it? A little blonde-haired boy with blue sparkling eyes and a tall, big blonde haired guy with blue sparkling eyes, so much alike.... their footprints in the sand.... where one went, the other went. Running footprints, walking footprints, standing footprints as they stood to admire the sea.

Happy footprints as they ran feeling the breeze, the dampness of the ocean spray as it touched their faces... their faces that held happy smiles of joy.

When you go to the beach, please think of my son... help me to remember him with your thoughts... look out over the ocean and send thoughts of Tommy... let the whole world know his mother loved him, so.. he won't be forgotten.

Father and Son... sharing a 'last moment'... a father who kept 'his last promise' to his little boy... a father who left a legacy, a most precious memory of him... to his little son to hold, treasure in his heart 'forever'.

Can you hear the happy squeals of a little boy running to touch the water with his little toes.... as it came flowing into shore... his daddy telling him to get his feet wet!

Look at the ocean, son! I'm sure that Taban would run back! then, run forward to the water... amazed at the movement, at such a large body of water with waves!

A big guy... a little guy... both running along the shore as the waves came in... both squealing, laughing with pure joy, pure abandonment... Tommy was a child, too.... running with his little boy. I 'know' this.... I knew Tommy... I 'knew my son'.

Tommy ran, walked into heaven straight from keeping his last promise to Taban.. I don't think he had a chance to say 'goodbye son'.

Tommy did make it in time though, to play with his little son for the first time... and his 'last' time... Tommy did exactly what he meant to do.

He collapsed on that sand... his body wasn't needed anymore... his soul soared to heaven with such joy... he flew with the sea gulls ... now, they were calling his name... telling him to come fly with them now... it's 'time to go home'.....

There are angels below to watch over Taban until his mommy can come, to let everyone know. Come home, Tommy, rest your weary soul, come home now... where you can find peace. You've suffered enough here on earth. Come home, Tommy... come home.

When he died, he was hearing the sound of the waves, the sea gulls calling to each other, and the precious sound of his child's voice. Thank God for the group of angels nearby... they stepped into Taban's life for a brief moment to protect him until his mommy could know where he was.

You see, Tommy made it in time to play with Taban on the beach for his first time, his last time. He and Taban disappeared and went down to the sand while everyone else was unpacking in their rooms... no one knew.

Did Tommy 'know'... did he sense that he needed to 'hurry up' to get down to the beach 'in time' ... to play with his little precious son? Did he sense an urgency? He made it there in time... to keep his last promise to a little three year old boy whom he loved with his very heart... a little boy who thought his daddy was 'a special somebody'... his 'big daddy'.

I asked Linda if I could put her painting here on my blog to remember Tommy this weekend... the anniversary of his death... at the ocean... Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

She didn't mind at all. Thank-you, Linda. I love your special painting. I'm honored to use your painting here of the ocean to remember Tommy. I think it most special that it's painted by ... Tommy's cousin, too.

Linda, you are painting now... as a little girl I remember how you could draw a better girl than I could.... I think maybe I was a little envious 'back then'..... :))) I love your paintings and 'knew' you could be an artist. I have great respect for your beautiful work.

I love you, Son. I miss you with my very heart. This is to remember you by.

Tommy Mitchell Sidden

November 20, 1969.......... May 29, 2010

I send my love to you in Heaven. I will never forget you, Son. I've never in my life cried so many tears as I have since the day you left. I never knew one person could cry so much. But... I have never lost a child, so... how could I know such? Tommy, I love you... From your Mommy

(In my mind I hear Tommy as a little boy when he used to laugh with a mischievious twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes.... 'my name is Tommy and I want my Mommy'! I hear this... he loved saying it because it rhymed, he loved saying it... because it made me... smile.

I miss you my little son who grew up to be a big son... I knew you loved me with your heart... you knew your Mama loved you with her very heart. Remember how I used to laugh and say 'Son, your Ole Mom loves you'!

You and Lena are 'why' I write.... I wrote for 12 years to her, as she did me. We wrote, emailed every day many times a day sometimes.... I couldn't stop writing when she died... my special systervan in Sweden, she meant the world to me. I remember her, also... with every word I write in my life now.

Now... I am writing to the day I also, die.... remembering you, Son. Remembering all the people I've loved... most are gone but, there are some who are here now. Writing about Granny Gee who is 'me'..... you named me that name when Taban was born... I didn't know I would like that name... but, I did.

GRANNY GEE.......... :)))

Granny Gee was meant to be a special name for your son, Taban... it was for a time until you left... Granny Gee faded away in her grandson's memory... now.. when he sees her... she's no longer 'Granny Gee'!

No longer the special 'Granny Gee' ... he used to run to ... filling her heart with such exhilerating joy just hearing him call ... 'Granny Gee! Granny Gee! Sometimes, it sounded like ...'Grand Gee! Grand Gee!'

Oh God, how I loved to hear him call me that name... how special 'I felt'... in my heart I 'knew' that unlike McKenzie, Taban would grow up close to me.

It all began to 'fade' after Tommy died... until now... like a month or so.. ago.... I felt I'd become 'nobody' to my little grandson. His love for me has been left to ... die, also.

We met him and his mother at a McDonald's... he hardly seem to notice Skip and I... when 'before' he would run to Pa Skip with such love, and excitement to see him... he didn't ... this time. He never ran to his 'Granny Gee' ...either. He ran to other people in the restaurant to laugh, talk with ... them. I don't think he really saw 'us'.

This fresh memory has been on my mind... hurting me. I 'have to let go' now... so, I can try to find peace of mind... a smooth, level place to rest my soul on as I live out my days.

This 'vessel, my body' has... been filled up to the top with such sad, painful memories... until like lately... 'this vessel has been running over'.......... spilling out into a 'million words'... you are witness to it all as you read 'my heart', my colors which go from bright to dark... soon to be bright again.

Maybe one day... when I'm just walking ... maybe I'll hear running footsteps behind me, hear a sweet voice calling 'Granny Gee! Granny Gee!' :)))

Maybe I'll hear another sweet voice calling 'Grandma! Grandma!' :))) One day when my two grandchildren read my stories they will know I've loved them with my heart... I never meant 'to love them' from... afar. They are a part of my very ... person, my son's children. They are different... they are 'mine'... I brought their father into this world...

Just remember as I write... I don't write in hatred... truly I do understand that mothers have to go on with their lives... I know they usually are thought of in 'bad' ways as they 'leave everyone unimportant behind'. They aren't old enough 'yet'... to understand that though a father is gone... that his parents are still there. They didn't die... and they are forever a part of those children. I'm no exception... I've thought 'bad'... also.

They are important. You can't 'wipe out' grandparents just because you want to date, to fall in love with another guy and might seem disloyal to him, his parents... though I would have never believed Taban's mother would do this... she always kept a close relationship with her other children's daddy, his parents while they lived. I always admired that, I knew she was very family-oriented... did I know wrong?

I love my grandchildren's mothers, care about them. How could I not? They are my children's mothers... their mothers are important to them, they are their very world. I wish only good for them.... because that means a happy child, a good life for them. I know that my granddaughter's life is good... I don't know about my grandson's life.

This is written in memory of my son, Tommy. This is also, written in memory of my grandchildren... I don't know if I'll ever see them in my life again. I can at least say 'goodbye'... here.

I love you, precious children, my son's children. I don't fight to see you because... I'm not upsetting your lives as I've seen other grandparents do in anger. You will just have to settle for your grandmother's love in these words here as I write... I'm sure no one will think to tell you through the years as you grow up. I will tell you in a good, gracious way....

I love you, Taban. I love you, McKenzie. I will now allow myself to feel peace inside with the memory that at one time, I also, had two grandchildren... just like at one time, I.. also... had a son. I can say 'goodbye' while ... I'm living. Tommy didn't have that chance... but, he would have if he could.

Goodbye.

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