Saturday, October 6, 2012

Wandering Through The Halls Of My Mind...

Wandering Through The Halls Of My Mind...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I stop at a door, open it just a little... listen before I step inside.  I'm not sure I want to enter this door.

Tommy was sitting cross-legged on the deck with his chin in both hands, listening.  Listening to me, his young mother reading to him from his story book.

I don't want to think about this memory... something happened before I sat down to read to him... something that scared me.  I sat down to read to him to keep my sanity.

I was a young girl, left alone in the countryside too many times... I had been used to living in town, being around people.  My little son kept me strong... I would protect him with my life.  I was afraid... but, I would fight and win ... to protect my child.

Sometime at nights where I lived with my little son... there would be noises outside... I would run to the gun, keep it by my side.  I knew how to use it as a young girl, I loved to target practice.  I know sometimes... someone was outside.

Fourteen miles from any town... a young girl sat many nights afraid, alone excepting for her young son.  Sometimes, men tried to say things, make passes at her when she was out and about.  She worried sometimes, if someone like that was... out there. I, being that young girl, knew that men came on the pretense to see my husband... always when he was gone.

No, it's time to move out of this room.  I don't like to think about those things.  I wonder if I'll find a much happier memory to think about......

I roam through the halls of my mind, thinking I want to remember something.  I open, close the doors along the way... I don't want to remember.  I don't want to remember anything at all... I thought I did.

I'm thinking all the while.  I'm worried for Skip, he still isn't feeling well at all.  I stay close to him so, that every moment I know if I need to take him to the hospital, or to call 911.  He has to wait until Tuesday to get tests done on his heart.  Only then, can the medicine another doctor gave him... be changed.

The medicine isn't what he should have been taking all this time.  I'm so glad at least he got to stop taking the fluid (diuretic) pill he's been taking two years unnecessarily.

While I worry about Skip... Tommy is in the back of my mind.  My mind is trying to wander into the past, into the halls.... to make me remember.  I don't think I want to.  I am on guard, I really don't want to let my mind think... not this evening.  I'm too weary.

Worry, weary... I don't feel like I have the strength to do more than sit here, write.  Truthfully, I'm too drained to write tonight.

No, I don't feel I want to be wandering the halls of my mind tonight.

Here's a link to my story on 'Time After Time'...


  1. I do hope Skip will feel and be better very soon! I know you will keep a close eye on him and will call 911 if it is necessary. Hopefully he will take it easy and try to relax. Make it less work for his heart to do. You know to call me if there is anything I can do for you! Love, Ms. Nancy

    1. Thank you, Ms Nancy. You are right, I am keeping a close eye on Skip. Thank you for being there. It means the world to me. Love, Gloria