Monday, November 12, 2012

I Couldn't See Pain In My Reflection Today In The Glass Doors...


I Couldn't See Pain In My Reflection Today In The Glass Doors...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Skip and I were walking up steps today, when my attention was caught by the reflection of us in the glass doors ahead.  I watched us as we continued to walk toward them.

It came to me something so amazing... I'd never thought about it before.  I was thinking as we talked, laughed, about the terrible pain in my body that I live with constantly.  Each step I took up those steps hurt badly... but, in the reflection of me.... I couldn't see it!

I was thinking about how one can laugh, talk and no one ever see the pain, agony we are in.  When we look at each other we don't see what's inside the other... it's like our reflection in the glass today.  Our reflection, how we appeared in it... looked so happy, so normal.

It's the same with one being filled with grief... one never sees 'how full' I am of grief... like a full glass of water.  I couldn't see it in the reflection just as I couldn't see the pain.

I'm glad my reflection seemed normal... no one needs to know about the pain.  It's my burden I alone, have to bear.  It's a part of the rest of my life.  It's like the grief I carry inside... it's there for the rest of my life... but, no one has to see it, hear it, know about it in everyday life.

If one reads it here, it's because 'they want to'... I didn't force them to.  In everyday life I won't talk about it... I'm going to laugh, talk as much as possible.  :)))  I'm going to try to present myself as that person I saw today... I couldn't see the pain in my reflection today in the glass doors.

4 comments:

  1. I know you are always in pain. It is good that no one can actually "see" your pain. If they did I am sure they would want to comfort you. I would want to try to make you feel better. You do a great job in hiding your grief too. I wish I could take that away too. I can only be there for you to share your pain and your grief. If there is anything I can do for you, you know I am only a phone call away. Love, Ms. Nancy

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    1. :))) Thank you, Ms Nancy. When writing it in words... I'm not saying it in words to burden, bother anyone. Nor can anyone say I complain... I don't at all. The wonderful thing here is that I can write it out, go on with life never bothering anyone with it. I know you are always there, just as I am here always for you, Ms Nancy. Love, Gloria

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  2. I think talking/writing about your pains and hurts, help us through the moments.
    Have been writing about my sorrow, sadness, joy, problems and sickness – and it helped me going and toke me through it all. So keep on writing .

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    1. Viveka, I will always write about pain, grief, and all the emotions you named. :))) That is what my blog is about... you are right ... it does help so much... it's an outlet for all I feel inside... things I could never just talk out loud about to anyone. Now... my written words help to heal inside... and who knows, maybe they can help someone else who goes through similiar. I was glad to read your comment. :))) Love, Gloria

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