Saturday, April 6, 2013

To Get A Glimpse Of The Real ... Me

I never saw a mirror I didn't love... I had love affairs with every mirror I ever met... see the joy in my face :)))

I never saw a mirror who didn't love me ... 'now'... it's always an 'iffy' situation when I meet one...  :)))

(I look for 'myself' everywhere I go... somehow, when Tommy died... I went missing... I can only catch a glimpse of 'myself' once in a great while ... I have to hurry to see 'me', I try to photograph 'me', I have to be quick... because 'I get gone'... again.)

To Get A Glimpse Of The Real... Me
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I saw myself today in the mirror, I smiled
Hello!  How are you?  I've been searching all over for you
I told myself... now, here you are
How wonderful to see someone from the past

I only smiled bigger, watching how pretty my face became
I looked into my hazel green eyes, thought how kind they are
From my case, I took my cellphone out to use the camera
Captured 'myself' in several photos, looked at each

I saw an old friend as my fingers pulled each photo to look at
My old friend was myself whom I search for always because
You see... I have become an 'older' woman since Tommy died
I didn't know when I became one as I was living in a dark world, the world of grief

I can't describe how wonderful it is to see such a familiar face
In the mirror... one I know so well, see only rarely now
When I do, I stand, smile at myself, feel joy in my heart
As I try hard to not let me go away ... again

I want to stay young always, pretty forever... somehow the real me
Disappears... an older woman takes my place, when she smiles
It's a smile of sadness because she knows she's not the one I want to see in my mirror
Smiles with her pain-etched face, her grief-tired eyes... my heart goes out to myself...

I do like you, older woman, though I'll always try to look past you
Hopefully to regain my youth whenever I can from the mirrors who
Used to be my best friend in life, the only one I ever had love affairs with
I would smile at every mirror I saw... flirt, walk and dance, twirl in front of every one, all over the country

The mirrors loved me back... shining with a light within each
Shining out at me, on me as I made my world a stage where I reflected
Such joy, such happiness at being the 'prettiest girl in the world'
The young girl I'm always searching for ... to get a glimpse of the real... me


  1. Sometimes we all get missing! We have to find outselves again to re-join the living. I do hope and pray that you never "go missing" in the dark world again. I do see those beautiful curls! You always had curls even when you were a little girl. I remember them! The mirrors are good for you! I can see why you loved mirrors! Love, Ms. Nancy

    1. For now, I am the 'Big Girl With The Damaged Curls', ha! ha! I am working hard at caring for my hair 'extra-good' right now! Love, Gloria

  2. Beautifully written, Gloria. I'm going to share this.

    1. I'm honored, Theresa. This is 'myself on the inside'... we all have our 'real selves' that no one ever knows about... I just told everyone this very 'real' thing. It hurts me deeply, makes tears in my eyes, because I feel it, live it every day... silly, I know... but, aren't we all, sometimes? :)))))))))))))

      I'm so happy it touched something in you..... maybe there's someone who goes through this, too. Strange how I write about things I feel... because I've never heard anyone come out and say they feel this way, that way....... I wonder if others think them, too?