Saturday, April 6, 2013

To Get A Glimpse Of The Real ... Me




I never saw a mirror I didn't love... I had love affairs with every mirror I ever met... see the joy in my face :)))

I never saw a mirror who didn't love me ... 'now'... it's always an 'iffy' situation when I meet one...  :)))
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(I look for 'myself' everywhere I go... somehow, when Tommy died... I went missing... I can only catch a glimpse of 'myself' once in a great while ... I have to hurry to see 'me', I try to photograph 'me', I have to be quick... because 'I get gone'... again.)
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To Get A Glimpse Of The Real... Me
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



I saw myself today in the mirror, I smiled
Hello!  How are you?  I've been searching all over for you
I told myself... now, here you are
How wonderful to see someone from the past

I only smiled bigger, watching how pretty my face became
I looked into my hazel green eyes, thought how kind they are
From my case, I took my cellphone out to use the camera
Captured 'myself' in several photos, looked at each

I saw an old friend as my fingers pulled each photo to look at
My old friend was myself whom I search for always because
You see... I have become an 'older' woman since Tommy died
I didn't know when I became one as I was living in a dark world, the world of grief

I can't describe how wonderful it is to see such a familiar face
In the mirror... one I know so well, see only rarely now
When I do, I stand, smile at myself, feel joy in my heart
As I try hard to not let me go away ... again

I want to stay young always, pretty forever... somehow the real me
Disappears... an older woman takes my place, when she smiles
It's a smile of sadness because she knows she's not the one I want to see in my mirror
Smiles with her pain-etched face, her grief-tired eyes... my heart goes out to myself...

I do like you, older woman, though I'll always try to look past you
Hopefully to regain my youth whenever I can from the mirrors who
Used to be my best friend in life, the only one I ever had love affairs with
I would smile at every mirror I saw... flirt, walk and dance, twirl in front of every one, all over the country

The mirrors loved me back... shining with a light within each
Shining out at me, on me as I made my world a stage where I reflected
Such joy, such happiness at being the 'prettiest girl in the world'
The young girl I'm always searching for ... to get a glimpse of the real... me

4 comments:

  1. Sometimes we all get missing! We have to find outselves again to re-join the living. I do hope and pray that you never "go missing" in the dark world again. I do see those beautiful curls! You always had curls even when you were a little girl. I remember them! The mirrors are good for you! I can see why you loved mirrors! Love, Ms. Nancy

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    1. For now, I am the 'Big Girl With The Damaged Curls', ha! ha! I am working hard at caring for my hair 'extra-good' right now! Love, Gloria

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  2. Beautifully written, Gloria. I'm going to share this.

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    1. I'm honored, Theresa. This is 'myself on the inside'... we all have our 'real selves' that no one ever knows about... I just told everyone this very 'real' thing. It hurts me deeply, makes tears in my eyes, because I feel it, live it every day... silly, I know... but, aren't we all, sometimes? :)))))))))))))

      I'm so happy it touched something in you..... maybe there's someone who goes through this, too. Strange how I write about things I feel... because I've never heard anyone come out and say they feel this way, that way....... I wonder if others think them, too?

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