Wednesday, July 31, 2013

We Are Going To Be A Damn Cracker Before We Know It!

We Are Going To Be A Damn Cracker Before We Know It!

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We Are Going To Be A Damn Cracker Before We Know It…
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
4-20-2013 076
I was just reading another article that makes me think we really are going to be a cracker before we know it. I’m sitting here thinking I don’t want to be ‘damn’… (yes, I know I said ‘damn’, once again… I have the right to say it… just read back in my stories!)… damn cracker.
Why? Because I don’t want anyone to be eating on me! I can’t imagine anyone spreading peanut butter between crackers… that are ‘me’! Then… bite me!
I knew when I was a young girl that the movie ‘Soylent Green’ made little alarms go off in my mind! I knew it! I knew by the time I got ‘old’… probably old people would be turned into crackers… to be eaten by the whole world! I knew it!
I just read an article about a ‘mock’ petition being signed by younger people… to euthanize ‘old’ people to lower healthcare cost. Here’s the link:
Guess what? People were ready to sign the mock petition… they wanted the old people out of the way…
Okay, what would happen next? Yes, you guessed right… they wouldn’t want to waste all of ‘us old people’… so, what could they do with them? ‘Old people’ are already thought to be ‘dry, airy, light’. Why, they’d turn us all into crackers! ‘We’ are already part of the way ‘done’!!!
Now, can you imagine apologizing to your grandma, grandpa… great-grandma, great-grandpa… saying, ‘I’m so sorry I’ve got to eat you, granny, I’m hungry! If your grandchild never liked you, he’d say, ‘I’m gonna eat your ass’! Lord, only knows what people would say, do …when eating someone else’s grandpa, grandma!
Skip said if this ever becomes a reality, and he’s still around… he would like two dozen Barbara Eden crackers! That Skip! :) ))
Can you see all of us…. ‘old people’… packaged up in pretty boxes, each with our own name on them? I would want my box to be a very happy, colored box inviting people to eat me.
Oh no! I’m ‘old’, even I was wanting to be a cracker in a happy-colored box! Just to be in a happy-colored box… I’d be a cracker!
No way! If you see a box with my name on it… you better not bite me, think you can chew me up…. swallow me. I’m going to make you sick! I mean it!
I’m worried now, because…. we are going to be a damn cracker before we know it!


  1. Hi,

    I kind of like this idea, having always wanted to end my life when I turn 70. Can I volunteer for the Cracker Boxes?? You rock, Granny Gee!

  2. I have to say I don't want to be a cracker either Granny Gee!!! I think I will make people sick too-----really bad off!! They will wish they hadn't bit me! Love, Ms. Nancy

    1. Ha! Ms Nancy... what would your box of crackers be called? Mine would be 'Happy Colors'... and the crackers would be happy colors of the rainbow, ha! :)))