For Now... I Can't Look Anymore

For Now... I Can't Look Anymore
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


　

I sit here, reeling from shock... surprise

My mind couldn't comprehend what I held in my hands

I feel as if someone punched me in my stomach

I looked down at the official certificate I held up to see

Lacy green design framed the words

I don't remember seeing it, but... I must have

I looked at the pages that were folded with it

Sheets of papers with more words... stapled together

I felt faint, weak as I sat down at my desk

I don't remember seeing this, my mind screamed

My stomach hurt ... a lot

I felt as if I would... I would... my mind went numb

Skip! Skip, look at this! I don't remember seeing this

But, I must have... see, on the envelope I placed tape

To protect the name, information I had written neatly there

How could I have done this... not remember it?

My head throbs as I read... try to think clearly

I look up to see worry in Skip's eyes

I smiled at him, told him I would put this back up

I'll come back to read another time... just read a little at a time

I walk back to where I found it... put it back in the envelope

I make myself not think... I need to get over this sick feeling

I don't want to upset Skip... he worries for me

He asks me was I going to be alright... yes, I told him

Tommy's ... Death Certificate; the autopsy results folded with it

I sit here, sigh... how could I have forgotten I had this put up?

I will forget once again until I remember it the next time... for now, I can't look anymore