I Had Lost My ... Self
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I found 'myself' for a moment here ... in the mirror. See my happy smile! Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Well ... I'm a middle-aged woman. It came sooner than I knew. Of course, there have been at least six to ten years in my life of life-threatening illness, and the loss of my son ... that numbed me to life.
So, I don't count those years in my age. That's right ... it's not fair to add those years to my age ... I don't remember living them. Isn't it amazing to be ... so, in another world, you can't remember life?
That means things in life were so ... bad. Fighting a battle to live from disease, illness... fighting a battle to live when one of your most loved ones ... dies ... your very own child.
There's no way you can imagine such, if you ... yourself, have never experienced it. You might say you do, because 'so and so' in my family is sick, or going through such. There's no way you know ... unless 'it's you' ... who go through it all.
Can you imagine 'waking up one day' ... to 'look for yourself'? This would sound strange to you if you've ... never done it. Imagine being in a coma ... you know nothing for months, years ... you wake up to life ... and you begin living it ... becoming aware of life again.
You become interested in being a person again ... you look in the mirror ... you don't 'know the person in the mirror'. You begin to 'look for yourself' in the mirror each time you go to it.
Once in a while, you might 'see a hint of the self ... you remember'. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that is! 'There's you'!
I've done this twice in my entire life. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. I would run, grab my smartphone ... take a photo of 'me'! The sad thing is ... sometimes, 'me' disappeared before I could get the photo.
Then, I would see a person in the mirror ... I didn't recognize. I had lost 'my ... self'.
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)