Thursday, September 17, 2015

I am Still Standing Tall ...

I am Still Standing Tall ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter




Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee






Fall is here once again.  It's my most favorite time of the year.  I love fall colors.  Warm orange, red, gold, green, yellow, brown leaves blowing in the nippy air!


I know, I know ... I'm a little ahead of myself.  Fall is only 'just here' ... we've only felt a little nippy air so far.  Well, it was enough to make me feel very happy!  I love Fall!


I love to dress in warm clothing to ward off the cold.  This year is going to be so much more fun.  Why?  Losing weight makes all the difference in how I will feel, dress.  Did I say I look forward to Fall?


I love the festivals, State Fair, holidays that are on the way.  Yes, I am still sad over the loss of Tommy, my son ... my only child.  I have come so far in my grief ... thank God.  It's been the hardest journey in my life to get through.


I'm glad to be ... this far ... up the road.  In the past year I have found peace inside.  How did I do it?  I don't know if I know how to tell you.


I will say that I have met my grief head-on, never backing down from it.  I have fought it like a bear, giving it all I had.  I have cried an ocean of tears ... lived in darkness not wanting to live knowing my only child had died.


I have been hell .... I have lived in hell inside myself.  I have fought Hell to be here, today.  Everything is going to be alright ... now.  It really is.  I can live now.  I can speak, think of Tommy without crying ... now.


I have written thousands of words full of my grief.  I published a 700-plus page book of my grief.  When I'm gone ... the book will be here to remember Tommy.  The golden-wire and beaded dragonflies will be 'everywhere' to remember Tommy by.  They are the dragonflies I make by hand ... leave for others to find.


I truly look forward to the holidays this year.  I'll be able to smile, be able to be happy.  I haven't been able to do that since Tommy died ... and not being able to see my grandchildren.  I've coped with so much ... now, everything is in place in my mind ... and life is good.


If I never see my grandchildren again ... I can be alright now.  I've had to cope with them as if they are gone, also.  I had no choice.  I have to live ... I want to live.  I'm going to live.


I'm like a huge redwood tree.  I've weathered many terrible storms.  I am still standing strong.





Note by this author:

Life has been very rocky my whole life.  Like the redwood tree ... I've come through many storms.  It's time for the sunshine to shine down on me with its golden, beautiful light.  I will welcome it.

Story/photo owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.




4 comments:

  1. You are so right!! You have come through so much in your life time. It is time for you to live and be happy. Do what you enjoy doing and smile as you live you life your way.I cannot imagine how you must feel knowing your only child will not be back here with us on this earth. Some day when it is our time---we will see him again. Until then you should be able to live and be happy and shed no more tears. As you said, everything is alright now. So enjoy whatever you decide you want to do. Tommy would want that for you. I love you Gloria!! Love, Ms. Nancy

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    1. Ms Nancy, thank you. You are so special in my life. Thank you for being there. I love you. Gloria

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  2. Welcome to autumn and enjoy your slimmer autumn wardrobe. I know what a joy it is to loose pounds and have new exciting clothing to wear.

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    1. Thank you ... I am feeling an excitement I haven't felt in many years. :) Love, Gloria

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