Thursday, January 28, 2016

None of Them's Me!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

This photo is of Skip when at the hospital they had gotten him past his crisis ... and just before getting the pacemaker.  I love this photo with my Heart ... it was so good to see Skip looking like this ... it had been months since I'd seen his face look like this.

We didn't know he'd been having episodes with his heart rate beating so low ... then, he had a stroke, complete 3rd degree heart block (electrical activity ... upper chamber of heart not communicating with lower chamber).  January 12, 2016

 Flowers are from Chelsea King ... a dear person to us ... she brought them to hospital ... had Skip laughing. I pure loved it ... everyone needs a special person in their life like Chelsea!


The nurse walked into the room.  She looked at her patient, who happened to be Skip.  He was in a lot of pain.  He'd suffered a stroke, was still experiencing headaches.

Not only that ... a pacemaker had just been implanted in the left side of his chest.  He was in a lot of pain.  The nurse knew that ... she wanted to find out ... so, she held up a pain chart of faces for him to look at.

Mind you, Skip was groggy ... very sick.  He squinted his eyes to look at the faces.  The nurse asked him again, "which one is you?"

Skip was recovering from having pacemaker implanted ... he wasn't himself ... still under the medicines given to him.

Skip looked at them hard ... looked up at the nurse, told her, "None of them's me!"

This is pain chart of faces Skip looked at ... when the nurse told him to tell her which one was him!

The nurse stood still, looked at Skip, burst out laughing.  It was so funny!   Skip wasn't himself at all, ha!

I wanted to share this little story when Skip was hospitalized this month.  He is home recovering from all.  I still think about this ... and begin laughing out loud.  I can still hear Skip's voice saying, "none of them's me!"

Author's Note:

This was so funny, and got away with the nurse!  When she realized what he said ... she laughed a lot.  She loved it ... she hadn't ever had anyone to say that.

True story/photo written/owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I Might Not Know Who I'm ... Eating!

I Might Not Know Who I'm ... Eating!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter


Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I have decided once again not to eat bread ... instead, at each meal I like to take 5 crackers to eat with my food.

I've always done this when watching what I eat.  I was telling Skip that I was going to have 5 crackers with supper, yesterday.  He replied, "You might not know who you're eating!"

I stopped, thought ... began laughing.  Skip, I said ... you are right!  I could be eating John, Mary, Mark and Sue, and ... Martha!

Who knows?  Remember the story I wrote about people becoming crackers to be eaten ... to help with having a food supply for all the many people in the world?  That's what he was thinking about.

I was remembering a movie I saw as a teenager called Soylent ... people didn't know ... they were eating ... other people.  In today's time ... we never know what we will be eating (my thoughts, anyway).  We are eating genetically engineered foods ... our meats don't have to be labeled as to what country they came from.

Anyway ... all of this is strictly my thoughts ... and Skip reminded me yesterday ... that I might not know ... who ... I'm eating!

Author's Note:

Photo/story written, owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

What would you do if you were eating crackers made from Grandma, Grandpa?  Meats made from relatives?  :)  Doesn't it sound awful?

Why just recently on our news ... some Chinese restaurant picked up a deer/roadkill from the highway ... took it into his restaurant, began dressing it out.  On our tv news ... they said he said ... "I'm dressing it out ... for a friend."  What are we to think?  You never know ....

Let's Fine the Homeless People Who Sleep on Our Streets ...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

This is strictly my Gloria Opinion ... I won't argue it with anyone.  I respect your opinions just as you respect mine.  This is a subject that touches my very Heart ... I wish I could make a difference.  I try in my little ways each day ... suppose we all did?

All of my friends, followers know I have a Special place in my Heart for homeless people.  In a fight ... if someone falls down ... the other person wins, right?  He doesn't stand there, continually kicking someone who is down.  This is what fining homeless people is doing.  Only the coldest, meanest would do such a thing ... only the cold, heartless would do that to get pleasure from seeing more suffering.

What's wrong with getting the word out to the homeless ... telling them of ... safe areas ... they can go lay down ... even if ... it's out in the open like where they are sleeping now.  Have you thought that some of these people are very afraid of dying, being beaten ... tortured?  Have you?  They get out in the open praying to God to protect them, watch over them ... well ... we are God's angels ... why aren't they being watched over?

Have you ever thought 'like a homeless person' ... 'think of how you would do if you had no choice to be homeless'?  I have ... I would want to stay as close to people who are there ... people who are strong, caring ... people who offer comfort through words, food ... sometimes, touch.  You are thinking ... but, they make a mess!  My answer is ... put more portable toliets in every area ... more trash receptacles ... maybe a lot of them don't want to make a mess.

Have you ever been close to being ... homeless?  Have you felt the fear of ... what am I going to do?  Where am I going to go?  What comes to your mind?  Darkness comes to your mind ... homeless people live in darkness ... no where to go ... no one wants them because they might get dirt on their possessions ... all they can do is to ... exist for what?  So, what do they do ... live until they die.  What do they have to look forward to ... a life that punishes them everyday just for being alive?

I say Shame on you ... whoever you are to want to come up with an idea to punish a homeless person, fine a homeless person who has nothing but, the rags they wear ... do you need a 'rag' that bad?  I say I wish there was a legal way to make you come out of your comfortable life ... make you live as a homeless person in the most real way ... for at least 6 months to a year.  We have to walk on the many roads in Life to understand them ... if you haven't experienced them ... it's too easy to sit ... spout words to do this, do that ... and not know the first thing you are talking about.

Have compassion, a big Heart ... not anger, hate for people who are only existing until they die ... wishing like you or me ... for miracles to happen to take them out of a world they never meant to be in.  Life can be cruel ... you say "well, they are drug addicts, they are this, they are that".  I say ... they are human beings like you, like me ... God put us on this earth to love, care ... help others get to their feet ... I don't think he meant for you to live off money meant to help other people ... keep your bellies fat ... raise your family, send them to college ... all the times looking down on others while you spend money meant to help them.  You see ... there are some very selfish, ugly people in this world ... they do things such as this ... everyone sees it, knows it.

When we get older ... we realize what life is really about ... not being selfish, hoarding possessions.  It's truly about constantly ... giving to help someone, putting a hand out to steady someone ... pull someone up who is sitting on the ground ... grab them before they fall ... smile, comfort them when they hurt.  Life is about ... people ... all people, including homeless people who have no choice anymore ... why?  Because they don't have money, clothes ... a nice home ... they have nothing.  Each day they risk losing the rest of what they have left ... their life.

I tell the whole world what I feel about the homeless ... because this is how I believe, feel.  I'm passionate about doing things to help them find a little comfort in this cruel life they live in ... don't you realize that we can stand, sit ... side by side ... never know what the other person is going through?  Haven't you been sitting beside someone who is totally happy, bragging about they have this, have that .................. you are sitting there with nothing ... not even a dollar or two to buy food to eat, something to drink?  All you have is your pride wishing you didn't ... so, you could ask for a few dollars to eat on.

What hurts me most is ... I have no money to help the homeless.  Guess what?  The people who would help them, make a difference ... are like me ... no money to their name to make the difference ... people who have money should be making.  Let me go back to my world now ... I'm not homeless ... but, I have nothing ... and events just happened to make me have less ... just the door in this room I'm in, what my friends do  ... keeps me safe for the moment.  I can't always depend on them ... have you ever stood close to the edge of a cliff ... you get closer, closer ... praying you never fall off?

The homeless people  ... fell off the cliff.  There are some who try to help them pick up the pieces ... but, there aren't enough of them ... many, many more people are needed ... people who have resources to help the helpless, homeless people.  Even the people who are ... just before homeless.  I know miracles can happen in our world ... I know miracles can happen to each of us ... I know miracles can happen in one's Heart.

This is strictly my Gloria Opinion.  I won't argue my beliefs with anyone ... on the homeless people ... no one can change my mind.  I love, care about all people ... homeless, people with homes, poor or rich.  I respect your opinions and expect mine to be respected.  Sincerely, Gloria Faye Brown Bates​

Note by Author:

Photo/article owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates

This is exactly how I feel ... I read that in a place called Chelmsford ... someone wants to fine the homeless for sleeping on the streets.  I signed the petition against that.  Why would someone want to kick someone who is already down?  Why?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Can You Imagine?


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Can you imagine losing many family members ... friends ... all close to the same time?

Tonight ... I was thinking about such.  Why?  Because I was looking on the Facebook page of my friend who died just after Tommy, my only child ... died.  

Can you imagine ... if you've never had a loved one to die ... how grief feels?  I believe that if you imagine for several moments how it feels to lose someone you love ... you will feel instant grief enough so, that you can't bear to imagine anymore.

Just think how it feels ... for the loss to be really true.  It's too much to bear, isn't it?  Just imagine ... when the loss is more than one ... more than ten ... how about nineteen people ... family, friends who died?  I know how that feels.

Tonight ... I was grieving over my friend, Lena ... who lived in Sweden.  She was diagnosed with cancer ... she didn't get to live long afterwards.  I was devastated when I learned of her death.  It happened not long after my only child, my son, Tommy ... died.

Grief ... the flow of tears from one's eyes ... down the cheeks like a river flowing over rocks.  Pain in one's heart ... from pure love, caring for someone who has gone away ... forever.  It hurts ... it really hurts so much you feel it in your stomach ... you want to just lay down, cry.

Tonight ... I was grieving over my friend, Lena ... and for Tommy, my son.  I wanted to lay down tonight ... and just cry.  

Now ... I am feeling okay.  Why?  Because I released my grief in words ... writing.  I released the pain.   I kept my promise to you to describe grief whenever I experienced it.

Why would I describe it to you ... make a promise to do so?  Because ... this way you will know what it's like without having to really go through it.  It can help you understand others when they are sad, grieving.  Maybe you can comfort a grieving mother ... someone who has lost a friend.

You don't have to say a word ... you can come in quietly, read ... go your way.  I'm all right now.  Grief never goes away ... one never knows when it will strike.  

Tonight ... grief struck as quickly as a lightening bolt out of the sky ... unexpectedly.  It struck me hard ... but, I held fast ... the storm's over now.

When I felt the pain of grief tonight ... I began writing until the pain went away.

Note by this Author:

Photo, true story owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I began writing ... the pain began ebbing away just as the waves washed ashore ... ebbed back out to the sea.  

The White Figure Sat in the Moonlight ...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny


A younger Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I woke up to a sound in the night.  My heart was thumping in my chest.  I jumped straight up from my bed ... I was so afraid!

I tipped quietly around the bed.  As I did, I could see the moonlight shining through the thin curtains on the windows.  I crept to the door ... looked up the long hallway ... froze ... felt as if I would faint!

In the kitchen ... I saw moonlight pouring into the window onto something white ... sitting at the kitchen chair!  I began screaming!  I kept screaming ... I was trapped ... no way out of the bedroom ... only the hallway.

The white figure rose tall from the chair.  I felt my head lift into the air trying to breathe.  I was going to faint ... the white figure began to speak to me.  I couldn't understand the words.

I held my arms out to ward off the figure as it began walking down the hall toward me.  I couldn't scream anymore ... I knew I was going to die.  I backed up until I felt my legs touch the bed.

I prayed 'oh, please God, help me!'  I thought I heard laughter ... I tried to hear it again.  My head, my ears ... I tried to quiet the screams inside my head to listen.  I had closed my eyes to die ... I didn't want to see what was surely coming.

I hear laughter again from the figure as it neared me.  I began getting my breath ... it sounded familiar!  The voice was my husband's voice!  He was laughing so hard that he couldn't speak to tell me everything was all right.

The vision of the white figure sitting in the moonlight in the kitchen chair ... stays in my mind.  I was so afraid that night when I thought I would surely die.

Author's Note:

This is a true story that happened many years ago when I was a young girl.  I knew I was going to die that night.  It left quite an impression on me.  The white was the tee shirt he had on ...

Photo/story owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

I Need Words That Turn into Arrows to Point the Way in the Right Direction ...


I Need Words That Turn into Arrows to Point the Way in the Right Direction ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Life is too real ... yes, it really is.  It's full of challenges, twists ... turns ... obstacles in one's path.

You take many journeys in life ... events happen ... unexpected events ... life-changing events.  Each time something happens ... you, your life ... everything changes in some way.  Life isn't ever the same again.

Sometimes, and best ... are the little things that happen in Life.  You know ... the things we can fix ... do something about.  These are the events we'd rather have.

The events that happen ... boom!  right out of the blue ... these are the scary events.  These are the events that are life-altering ... have to do with life-threatening illnesses, accidents.  A lot of times, we can recover from them with little change ... a lot of times, completely life-changing.

The life-changing events can be so drastic as to make a person lose everything they have ... quality of life goes all the way down ... even to being homeless.

If you don't go homeless ... there are other scary things ... being near homeless, hard to get medicines one needs ... get nutritous foods to keep one's health up ... to stay warm, cool.  Buying gas to go to the doctor, supermarket.  Paying co-pays so, a doctor won't quit seeing you (we had that happen ... a cardiologist at that).  Scary.

Such things as I've mentioned ... these are the things one has a time trying to recover from ... sometimes, never recovering from them.  I can't think of all to name here ... but, I'm sure many of you who read here ... know more things.

Other things to change one's life are when you lose everything you've got ... due to medicals bills, just trying to survive.  We did this when we both had cancer ... I had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and my husband ... Colon Cancer.  When we did begin recovering ... we lost everything to a house-fire.  We were left at the mercy of the world.

Another time ... my husband was in a tractor-trailer accident out in New Mexico.

Then ... one by one ... my family members began dying ... the very people I loved with my Heart, my very favorite people whom I knew loved me.  This included my mother, brother, father, grandmother ... a step-mother who might have in a way (didn't matter, I really did love her), uncles, aunts, cousins ... then, several of our friends.

One after one ... they kept dying.  One cousin hit a log truck head-on during passing a car ... she died instantly (she was trying to help us get on our feet after the house fire) ... her brother, one of my cousins I loved dearly as a child ... died with a gunshot to his head (supposedly suicide).

On and on ... the deaths happened just like cards being dealt.  I have no one now left in my family that I can be close to.  They all live their lives, I live mine.  We go in peace.

These are just examples of life events, journeys in life.  All were awful ... took so long to cope with ... some I never got to cope with properly ... because one after one kept happening ... and then ...

The worst of any of those things ... was the evening a man, complete stranger rung our phone to say, "ma'am, I have a collapsed man here who isn't breathing."

My only child, my son ... had gone on vacation with his family to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Tommy (my son) ... told me the evening before how he was looking forward to playing with his 3 year old son for the first time ever at the ocean.  His face was lit up like the sunshine ... he was excited ... I felt his excitement.  We were smiling happily while he told me.

The next evening, May 29, 2010 ... Saturday evening ... Tommy did get to play with Taban, my grandson ... for a few minutes before he died there on the sand.  He'd been sending me photos, video to my computer.

A group of people watched this tall, blonde-headed guy run, play and laugh with a little blonde-headed boy who looked just like him.  Laughter, squeals of delight ... as the waves came in to wash around their feet.

Tommy collapsed on the sand ... thankfully, the people saw something was wrong, hurried over to protect my little grandson.  He was all alone ... as his daddy's soul drifted up to Heaven.  He could hear the sea gulls singing as he called his daddy.

I'll stop here ... this was the worst of worst to ever happen to me in my life.  I stopped living for 3 years ... I was the walking dead ... I had already died ... inside.  Life stopped for me when I became aware of the meaning of the words the stranger was trying to tell me over the phone ... the end, that was it.

I've never taken drugs ... but, I do recall the last thing I said to my husband, Skip ... before going into the darkness.  I told him to please take me to the hospital and let them drug me.

I couldn't live with such knowledge inside me ... I was trapped inside myself ... my son was dead!  My son had died!  Oh my God, my son!  My son, Tommy!  I could not stay awake to know that ... drug me until I'm not here anymore.

Unknowingly at that time ... Skip told me later about standing at times to listen to me breathe ... he was afraid I would die ... I was taking the medicine because I couldn't bear to face the daylight ... I had to hide in darkness.

I vaguely remember Skip begging me not to take the medicine anymore ... "please don't take it, Baby Girl".  I couldn't ... not take it.  God knows what would have happened if I had.

Anyway ... you get the idea of what I mean about journeys, life-changing events.  I've lived real life ... I've lived more life-changing events than anyone knows ... some I'll never reveal, they'll go to the grave with me.

I made it ... I'm still here ... something inside me kept fighting to survive when I really died inside to I didn't know I was still living.

I'm not the only one to suffer, go through pain and grief mostly in life.  Where you probably have had a normal, good life without such things happening in your life ... maybe one or two things ... mine has had more than I could count.

I've been reeling ... constantly getting back to my feet where Life has slammed me into the ground all through my time here on earth.

I'm just realizing at this time in my life that I've become an OLD-ass woman ... can you believe how time's gone by?  During all the crisises in my life ... I wasn't ever aware of how I was growing older.  Isn't that damn-amazing?

Now ... I'm on another road in Life ... on another journey.  I'm having to learn my way on how to navigate being OLD.  I'm on the OLD road in Life.  Especially now ... I've got to learn in a hurry what to do.  I'm not OLD but ... old.

Skip has had a stroke ... I almost lost him a couple weeks ago ... he had complete 3rd degree heart block (electrical activity in the heart where the upper chamber communicates with the lower chamber ... his wasn't doing that).

Skip just got a pacemaker to help his heart beat as it should ... he isn't well, is recovering now.  The stroke did something to his left eye, he is still having headaches.  He has diabetic neuropathy in his feet/diabetes.

I have my own medical conditions I have to cope with on a daily basis.  For now, I am having to be the strongest.  I take care of Skip, and our Pups.  No matter what I have to go through ... I will focus on caring for them.  They are my whole world ... they are all I have left in this world.

So, that means Skip can't work ... no income.  I have to find a way to get help.  Get help with rent ... food ... medical ... gas to go back and forwards to the doctors.  I've applied for food, medical ... I won't know for a week or so, if I get it or not.  I pray that I do ... for once we are really desperate ... it's a crisis.

When I asked for help with the rent ... it was at closing time ... the Spanish girl wanted to go home.  Everyone at the office there was excited at the pending snowstorm heading our way.  They were walking out the door to go home ... only the Spanish girl had to stay ... until the last person ... being me, and my very sick husband.

She met us with a cold expression, took us down a long hall to her office.  She wasn't interested in anything I said ... I sensed she just wanted us to be gone.  She wanted to go home.  I asked her for resources for seniors ... for help to pay rent ... some direction to go to get help.

I'll never forget the Spanish girl looking up at me, saying "go to a shelter, but ... I don't know where there's one."  I sat there stunned ... my poor, sick husband sat there stunned.

She wanted us to go, leave so she could go home ... we did, and she almost beat us getting to her car in the parking lot.  I was just opening the door to get in when she rushed past us ... I told my husband to look.

This is another of those life-altering events that I have no manuel, no direction in which to turn.  I don't know what to do ... what do I do?

Where will I go first?  How do I keep from hurting when someone steps on my pride?  Makes me feel bad for asking for help when I've waited too long to.

What happened to the other seniors before me ... who were disabled, desperate for help?  Were they sent away to a dark hole, box?  Where are they?  I asked the Spanish girl ... "what happened to them?"  Who did they go to ... to get help, direction?

I mean, it was this young, Spanish girl whom we were sent to ... to get this type of help.  I told her we were sent from the front to her, and were given hope ... she told me, "well, it's this way ... they don't know how I operate back here ... I don't know how they operate up front."

They might tell you ... you can get help with your rent ... but, they're wrong."

How can I argue that with her without looking bad?  Or appear to be making a scene?  When it was past time for her to go home?  I didn't ... we left, feeling hopeless.

The thought of going to shelters, being separated from each other ... our two Pups that are our entire life being taken away from us ... in our minds.

We were crushed.  She never smiled at us the first time ... she never offered words of comfort ... hope.  Cold ... blank face ... uncaring.

I haven't gotten through this new journey I'm on ... I've just stepped onto the road ... I am seeing roads ahead ... the signs are blank.  I don't know which way to go.

I will have to make decisions blindly ... unless someone can speak out, tell me.  I understand people in our situation might not want to talk ... afraid it could affect them in their life ... mess up the even keel they finally got on.

In the meantime ... we have to live ... but very soon, we've got to have financial help to buy gas to go find help, go to doctor appointments, eat ... to stay in the home we live in (rental), to buy water to drink (we can't drink water from the tap).

I'm not going to beg, whine, cry to get help ... I'm not doing that now.  I don't feel sorry for myself ... I was knocked to the ground again by Life ... I've dusted my pants off ... I'm standing up ... holding my ground here.  I just need solid advice ... some sure-fire direction to go in ... not what someone 'thinks someone did' ... but, seriously ... what did they do to find real help.  I'm living real Life ... I need to know.  I know I'm not the only one who has had to do this.

My email address is:  ... if you can offer solid advice (it has to be for North Carolina) ... won't you please email me, tell me?

We hope to stay here in the same rental house we moved to after my son's death ... it feels like home, safe ... good neighbors who mean the world to us.

I'm not asking for anyone's money, material things ... just for words that will be my arrows to point the direction to get the help we need.

Just words that will be arrows to point in the direction of help.  You don't have to give me your names ... if you do, I promise to respect your privacy.  I'm on a new road ... I just don't want to get lost.

Note by this Author:

Photo/true story (January 2016) owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I have written our situation in hopes of someone knowing what to do ... will contact me ... tell me.  I'm not asking for anything else ... just words that turn into arrows to point the way to help on this new road I've just gotten onto.  Thank you in advance.  Gloria/Granny Gee.

Email:    .....  (my private email address)

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Do You Want to Know my Gloria Opinion?


Do You Want to Know my Gloria Opinion?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

No one won't have him ... he isn't handsome at all.  Do you think a good-looking woman would have him?  Look at all the other women he's had.  Skanky, strange-looking women ... no good women. Dishonest, treacheous ... sneaky-ass women.  Always trying to find a way to take his things.

Do you think a good-looking woman would have him?  Yes, I do ... if ... they really knew him.  He's a good man ... kind, giving, loyal.  But ... just looking at his exterior ... no.

He has to get the bad women ... women who have ulterior motives.  They want his money ... his property.  They scheme, plot ... play games.  Try to isolate him from his friends, family.  That way they can control him.  If that doesn't work ... control with anger to make him do what they want.  If you don't do this, I'll get mad ... if you do that ... I'll be angry.

He wastes so many years to find out the woman isn't who he hoped she was.  He goes to find another one ... different face ... same old games.

How sad it is ... he deserves a good woman ... the best woman.  He would treat her like a queen.

This was a conversation we heard taking place just lately.  Have you ever seen people taken advantage of others who aren't good people at all?  I know we have.

That's why this conversation stayed in my mind.  Amazing what one learns just sitting in a waiting room ... listening to the sounds, conversation around you.  This was one of those over-heard conversations.

This is a true conversation we over-heard.  We talked about it later ... we also, know several people who are played, taken advantage of in our own lives.

Some are women who have a little money ... they attract men who want to be taken care of ... men beam in on them when they hear their husbands have died ... there's surely insurance money to be had.

They want their part.  They want to sit back on their lazy asses ... drink, dominate the woman, treat her like a dog ... while he spends her dead husband's money, drive his truck ... kick his dog.  Oh ... run around on her with every Sue, Jan, and Martha.

I don't like, respect men like that.  They don't like me either ... they know instinctively who knows what they do ... no one likes for someone to 'see' them when they do wrong.  If you are a friend of the woman he has his beam on ... he will make sure that woman turns against you ... afraid you might try to tell her, cut off his money supply.

I've watched it over and over throughout the years.  Same old game ... different faces.  Seems like everyone would know ... learn.  Sadly ... some people will take anyone just to ... have a man ... have a woman.

My opinion ... now, you knew I would have a Gloria Opinion :)  Learn to love yourself ... like to be with yourself so, if you are ever alone ... no one can take advantage of you.

If you are a widow ... don't let some Tom, Dick ... or Harry come into your life to spend money your husband worked hard to make sure you would have if something happened to him.

Don't let Dick drive your husband's pickup truck ... preening as he goes around his friends to show them what he's got.  Don't let Tom kick your dead husband's dog around ... kick his ass out!  Let the dog bite his ass ... dare him to kick it again.

Better yet ... kick Harry's ass out ... find hobbies, activities that make you ... your dog happy.  You don't need no man to bring Hell into your life while you dress his ass in new clothes, buy him jewelry to sport around ... give him a free ride.  Nor ... buy his ass liquor and beer ... give him a license to beat or mistreat you ... your children ... you dog.  Kick the bastard out.

I say it one more time ... love yourself, learn how to be happy with yourself.  Life's too short to invite Hell into your world.  Think about it ... why in the world would you want to do that?  Is it worth it to have a man ... woman.  My Gloria Opinion is ... Hell No!

Note by this Author:

Photo, article owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  This is exactly what I think ... my Gloria Opinion.

Come, Vern ... Let's Go Home


Come, Vern ... Let's Go Home
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Sitting in darkness ... cold, cold darkness
I peeped out through the slit in the canvas tent
I sat in ... bundled up in every rag I could find

Praying that no one would bother me
While I sat here vulnerable, at the mercy
At the mercy of the world ... please don't notice me

Rain fell heavily on the tent I lived in
I could see it in the night light I camped near
The only comfort in my life was that one light

To keep the darkness at bay
Keep fear, grief away ... I needed the light
Somehow, the cold didn't feel as cold

I heard someone cough nearby ... I froze
Please Lord, keep them away
Don't let them know I'm here alone

I was too bulked up in the rags
To fight back ... I couldn't bend my arms
It would be hard to stand up

I needed the rags to survive
They were a godsend ... as long as I didn't have to fight
To survive ... I thought I'd found a safe place to live

Feet scuffed the frozen ground outside my tent
I couldn't breathe ... fear gripped me
Death lurked near ... I was going to die tonight

I heard Death walk closer to my tent
I was all alone in this big, old world
No one knew me ... knew I was here

Only Death would know who I was ... where I was at
Not a living soul would know anything about me
I stayed to myself, never attracting attention

My whole world had gone away
I was just living until I died
I didn't want to kill myself ... though I wondered if I should

My hands began peeling off the rags
Never making a sound ... they came off easily
As they were just wrapped around and around

My body rose up from the ground
I felt that old fighting spirit rise up in me
It had hidden ... but, not anymore

I slipped quietly to the opening to peer outside
Saw the dark figure standing not far away
It turned ... I knew it was looking at me

I was afraid ... but, I was meeting Death head-on
I wasn't going to just die without a fight
I opened the slit wider ... stepped out

Death!  I spoke in a soft, quiet voice
I'm afraid of you ... you might take me tonight
Not without one helluva fight ... I'm not going easily

You've taken every loved one I ever had ... away
Now ... you want to take me?
No!  I thought I wanted to die ... but, I'm not ready

Death stepped toward me ... I wanted to hide
I held my ground ... didn't back down
I'm not ready to go ... I know now, I have things to do

I knew at this very moment what I was going to do
It sure wasn't going to be dying tonight
I had fallen flat on my face ... sunk as low as low

I held myself straight, tall ... powerful
While looking Death in the face
You be gone, Death!  Go now ... I have things to do!

Death looked me in the face ... pointed its finger at me
I stiffened my body ... stayed strong
I sensed Death felt respect for me

A mere poor, broken shell of a person
Yet ... standing strong as I could be
I defied Death ... afraid ... yet, ready to fight

I felt as if Death wanted to hug me
The coldness went away ... I felt warmth
Was it Hell burning ... or was it from Death's heart

The warmth made my cold body feel better
I could feel my feet, legs now
I could walk ... walk out of my Hell I lived in

Death turned its back on me ... walked into the night
I turned, looked at the tent I had existed in
It was time to break Hell wide open

There wasn't anything in the tent that would go with me
In my bra ... I had all I needed
It was time to walk out of Hell ... do things I needed to do

My feet began walking away from my camp site
Up the small hill ... I stepped onto the sidewalk
Back onto the face of the earth ... I was alive!

I looked a sight .... unkempt, maybe dirty
As I could only bathe when the weather was warm
I probably smelled bad ... I wouldn't get near any living soul

I walked five miles ... I came to a house on Elm Street
It was my house ... it was furnished, utilities still on
I had paid for them each month ... using pay phones

I reached inside my bra for a small, purple and green purse
I unzipped it ... took a key out ... walked up onto the porch
Put the key inside the door ... opened it, went inside

Locking the door behind me ... I took a deep breath
Walked to the thermostat ... turned the heat higher
Went to the bathroom .... ran a hot tub of water

Pulled the rags off ... stuffed them into the waste basket
I wouldn't be needing them anymore
I was back home now ... I had some living to do

I turned the covers down on my bed
Slipped under them ... pulled me around me
I was cozy, warm ... I closed my eyes, slept

Got up the next day ... I began to live
I was a rich woman ... but, I hadn't lived like one
I had gone to live with the homeless people I loved

I knew now, I would begin making dreams come true
Not for myself ... for others who needed them desperately
I would begin with the homeless people I cared about

I would take money I was going to leave behind
While living until I died in the homeless world
Use it for good ... instead of leaving it for others to enjoy

I knew the first person I would help
I drove near where I knew he was ... a poor, broken soul
He was sitting on a bench ... holding his chest

His name was Vern ... an old, crippled man
He'd been homeless for many years
Because he was an alcoholic ... he couldn't live with anyone

His body trembled as he sat coughing, wheezing
Vern had emphysema, he was a sick man
I wanted him off the streets

I got out of my car, walked over to where Vern sat
He looked up at ... looked closer, smiled
He recognized me, called my name

Yes, it's me, Vern ... I came here to take you away
To a nice place for you to live in peace, safety until you die
It's a small travel trailer ... cozy, warm

It's in my back yard so, I can look after you
If you drink, it's okay ... you will be in your own home
No strings attached ... no one will hurt you, I'll watch over you

Vern looked up at me with his red-rimmed eyes
Tears flowed down his face
Sobs shook his shoulders as he cried

Come, Vern ... let's go home
He stood up, let me help him walk
To the car, get inside ... buckle up

I took Vern home to live out his life
He had good food, shelter ... safety
Vern lived out his life ... he lived there for 2 years

In the meantime, I helped many homeless people
Go to a home where they could live safely
No one to bother them ... they lived out their lives

I became happier each time I helped someone
I had a purpose in life ... saving the world
I couldn't save the whole world

But, I could save one person, one by one
Who knows how many I could save until the day I died
Yes, I had a lot of living ... a lot of giving to do before I died

Note by this Author:

I was thinking about living in the homeless world ... how one could just give up ... go there.  No one would care ... notice you are gone.

Why would I think such thoughts?  Because it's my nature to imagine, think about everything.  Because ... in today's time a person could end up homeless if they have become OLD ... have no money.  Unless ... angels watched over them, protected them from such.

Vern is a real homeless man whom I met earlier this month.  I had compassion for him.  He was sick with emphysema, and he said he had a drinking problem ... no one wanted him.

I had such compassion ... and wished so much to have extra money to give to him to make his life somehow better.  I didn't even have change on me.  He never asked for anything ... I just wanted to give.

I have a special feeling for homeless people.  I always have, always will.  When I wrote this poem ... I was imagining if I didn't have my world ... my Husband, Pups .... would I give up, just live until I die?

As I wrote ... I could feel myself resigned to die until Death brought out my fighting spirit ... I felt myself rise up ... realize I had a purpose in life.

I don't know my purpose in my life ... I'd like to think I'm not a wasted soul.  I hope somehow through writing I can touch others in a good way.  I'm not perfect ... I am a good person with a big Heart ... loving, caring.

Photo/poem owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.


When I'm Taking My Last Sweet Breath of Life ...


When I'm Taking My Last Sweet Breath of Life  ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Who would have thought?  We got old ... just like that!  I mean we don't think old ... don't act old ... talk old.  Of course, when we walk we try to never show our 'old' we feel in our bodies :)  For older adults ... we always smell good.  I remember someone writing on Facebook once ... that all older people smelled like 'shit and piss' ... those were the words they used ... not my words.

I love for my hair to smell beautiful ... I have since being a young girl.  I love my perfumes ... along with my clean body.  Skip is the same way.  Old bodies that smell wonderful!  :)  I want to smell good to the day my 'old' body is cremated ... soar up in flames to Heaven with a wonderful scent of ... Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds! :)  What kind of 'old' person am I?  I never heard one ... 'talk like me' :)

Our bodies are lucky to even have the medical conditions, problems they have.  We groan, moan as we get up from sitting.  We hold our backs, sides, arms when we get up from the bed.  Our bodies protest every time we do something.  We feel everything :)  After many surgeries  ... you are going to feel something.

I won't go into the long list of medical conditions, problems for either of us ... but, I will say this ... I'm so thankful, grateful to have them.  I'm lucky to have all that's happened to my body.  I didn't want to die ... Skip (my husband) ... feels the same way.

My oncologist told me this past year that I shouldn't be here ... everyone is gone who were sick like me ... 16 years ago.  I am a cancer survivor ... Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Skip is a cancer survivor ... Colon Cancer ... he also, was a miracle.

Heckfire, I'm lucky to have all my medical problems as well ... it's good to hurt every day of my life ... I'm alive! :)  Every pain I feel ... may make me cry, moan, groan sometimes ... but, I never forget the time I battled cancer for 3 years ... and amazingly ... won.

I slipped out of Death's hands when I went into Congested Heart Failure ... and other things that happened to me.  Skip has slipped out of Death's grasp so many times ... so, we are proof that Death doesn't win ... every time.

That fighting spirit I have ... who knew my fighting spirit was so strong!  I inherited that from my Grandma Alma ... who lived the last 20 years of her life as a paralyzed woman ... she never felt sorry for herself.

Tommy ... my only child ... sitting beside Grandma Alma's grave.

She never lost her compassion, love for everyone's children.  She could raise Hell with the best ... but, she was the most strongest, most wonderful woman I ever knew.

My Grandma Alma would protect a child in a heartbeat ... just let someone come close enough to try to take a scared child clinging to her dress ... her good hand would reach out for her glass of ice and water ... the next thing you knew ... somebody's temper was cooled down!  Her eyes became fire ... she would glare them until someone backed down ... no one wanted to go past that expression with her.

She'd throw that glass of water in someone's face in a split second.  Oh yes, she may have been paralyzed but ... she was fierce when it came to her love for someone.

 She made everyone ... think ... better of pushing over her.  She was just a paralyzed woman ... her body weakened from being in a coma, having a stroke.  Her eyes, strong voice ... her manner made one forget.  That's why children ran to her protecting hand ... I hid behind her big, upholstered recliner/rocking chair ... many times.

My Grandma Alma as a young woman ... 

If she ever cried ... it was from frustration, anger that Hell burned all around her.  When she quit crying ... all got quiet around her ... and everyone knew ... to back off, leave her alone.  My Grandma Alma became ... even stronger after she cried.

Her everyday life was pure Hell ... nothing stayed calm in her house ... so many people in and out.  They brought their fights, problems with them ... they would forget Grandma Alma was paralyzed ... she was so strong.  If she ever showed any weakness ... everyone ... fell to pieces.  She held them together like glue.

When Grandma Alma died ... so, did the 'family'.  They were close before, yet they constantly fought, raised pure Hell.  When she died ... the 'glue' was gone ... everyone fell apart, the gloves came off ... Hell became ... hotter here on earth.  See ... the house was over one of the portals to Hell ... Grandma Alma kept it closed.

I look back to when I lived in her house ... I won't say 'home' ... I can say ... Hell.  They owned the house ... yes, it was their home (Grandma Alma and George ... the only grandfather I ever knew ... George was blind).  I just never associated the word 'home' with 'their house'.  Strange.  That house to this day makes me physically sick ... not to look at it ... but, to try to step into it.  Only Skip knows how it affects me.

My Grandma Alma and George ... the only grandfather I ever knew ... and the kindest man I ever knew as a child.

I look back ... feel such love, respect for a woman I wish had lived in my adult life when I had matured.  I wish I could have made hers and George's life easier.  I didn't ever get to help do that ...

Strength, fighting spirit ... compassion with the biggest Heart I ever saw ... empathy, a gentle touch with her good hand (though I'd been on the receiving end of her good hand when ... it wasn't gentle).

Gloria Faye Brown ... once a little YOUNG girl :) ... now. OLD.

Do you know ... I think I became a lot like Grandma Alma through time?  She was my hero as a child ... a paralyzed woman who was stronger than anyone I knew then, who walked on both feet ... used both arms.  Only she 'took and took' so much bulls___ from anyone who wanted a place to land ... raise Hell.

I'm completely different in that respect ... you aren't going to raise Hell in front of me ... I can be Hell if you want it.  I live a quiet life ... I chose to do that ... I chose to leave the Hell-raising out of it.  But ... though I try to be good always ... quiet and calm ... doesn't mean I'm perfect ... I can 'raise Hell' with the best of them.

I was ... raised to ... raise Hell.  It's in me ... I keep it hidden ... I'm not proud of it.  But ... it's there ... if I need it.  It's a hidden weapon :)  It's my ... super hero action gear ... you know how Clark Kent changes to Superman ... who would ever suspect him to be Superman!  He's so quiet, unassuming ... meek, mild.  :)  When his strength surfaces ... watch out!

I've been thinking about being fortunate to be able to walk, move about ... talk, see ... laugh ... drive ... to pick up things, write ... just all the things I do.  She couldn't just do that in her life ... but, she was stronger than anyone I knew.  Her mind was strong, sharp as a knife.

Grandma Alma was a good teacher in my young life ... though at times, she would scold me, pinch me ... once she caused me to fall on a burning-hot heater.  She grieved for that after it happened.  I never talked about it to anyone ... I knew she never meant for that to happen.

Getting back to being ... old.  For the first time in my life ... I am realizing as I begin to ... enter the 'old world' ... I have more battles to face, to win.  I didn't know that!  I'm on another new journey in Life ... once again I'm on a journey in Life that I don't know the first thing about ... I have to be like a bird and wing it.

My question is ... 'why didn't I research, learn how to become 'old' before it happened to me?'  Why didn't I do that while I was strong enough ... well, I've been through a lot to live ... focusing on getting well from all kinds of things.

Surgeries, grief ... oh, so much grief for the past 16 years as person after person (family) died from crazy-ass things that shouldn't have happened .... then, my son died from 3 blockages to his heart  ... I couldn't think of anything but, pain.  We lost all in a fire ... Skip was in a tractor-trailer wreck ... the list goes on and on.  I couldn't think past the pain.

Which brings me to this moment in time ... I got 'old' ... before I knew it.  Oh my God ... this is another new journey I'm thrown on in Life ... where are the directions?  What do I do?

Do I fall on my ass ... lay there like a big-ass baby?  Feel sorry for my poor 'old' self?  Be fearful to look around me because 'now' I am at my weakest point once again?  Hold my head down in shame because ... for the first time ... I am going to have to go to others and say ... 'please help me, I'm 'OLD' ... I haven't fallen and can't get up ... not just yet.'

I did just that two days ago.  I asked for help ... and for the first time when asking for help ... I didn't hang my head in shame.  I smiled, felt hope in my Heart ... people responded to it, cared.  I just pray now ... that help can come.

My only obstacle was at the end of the day when everyone wanted to go home (I understood it was past closing time) ... was a young, Spanish girl.  She never smiled at Skip and I when she met with us ... she was wanting to leave for her home ... everyone was excited about the winter storm heading our way.  She was one of the last people to get to leave ... couldn't leave until the last client left ... which happened to be us.

I truly understood ... I also, understood our life was in a crisis with Skip just having a stroke, complete heart blockage ... had a pacemaker put in.  When I asked her about receiving help for our rent ... told her what's happened ... she never batted an eye.  It didn't even phase her how serious our situation was ... she never saw the pain we were in ... sensed the desperation around us.

She said she couldn't help us, there weren't any resources for seniors.  I asked her if there weren't any resources for seniors ... where do they all go?  Where are all the seniors before us?  What happened to them ... have they been put in a box, hole somewhere ... where are they?  I told her quietly that I knew many others have come before us ... what happened to them?  What did they do?

I needed to know something ... a direction to go.  I asked her for that ... her response was ... 'go to a shelter'.  No kindness ... no compassion for two broken 'OLD' people sitting in front of her ... no smile to ease the pain of her words.  No feeling but, a blank ... uncaring face looking back at us.  I think that hurt worse than anything ... maybe she could have told us in a more 'kind' way.  Maybe just pretended for a moment ... she cared for our situation.

I knew we didn't need to waste any more of her time ... she wanted to leave, go home.  She wasn't in any mood to listen to us ... to give us any advice.

We weren't anyone to her ... she wasn't seeing us as two people in front of her who needed help ... she was seeing us as someone she had to stay for until we left ... before she could go home.

I worked with the public for years ... I could read her.  I also, knew anymore talk was a waste of time ... the door had been closed in our face. No matter what I said, did ... she would sit there with that closed, blank look on her face that said it all ... 'leave, go home so, I can go home.'

So, we stood up with the little pride we had left ... graciously thanked her, left so she could go home.  She almost beat us to the parking lot ... we'd just opened the doors to get in ... there she was ... hurrying to her car.

We left in sort of a state of shock ... stunned at the Spanish girl telling us we could go to a shelter ... she didn't know where one was at.  She let us go out into the darkness ... never caring, thinking about us as she pointed the way out.

She never saw the hope she dashed ... the fear she put in my Heart ... the sickness I felt ... Lord knows what Skip felt ... he stayed quiet.

She did see how sick he was ... she just wanted us to follow her down the long halls to her office, get us out of her hair.  She heard his feet stumbled as he walked on the carpet ... she never turned to offer help to him.

She let us go out the door never caring where we were going to ... she didn't know if we were going into the woods to live, under a bridge. We were no more than the air around us ... you can't see air. She never felt our ... current.

I understand.  When people are young ... in important jobs ... they have no idea until years of experience and making mistakes ... of what they sometimes do to the people they had to 'learn on'.  By the time they do ... those people have went through their Hell and died. You can't go back to make anything up.

She'll never think of us again ... I will think of her often for some time.  She caused me pain ... I never forget people who make me hurt.  I forgive them with my Heart ... I just can't forget.  I never felt anger at her ... I only felt the hopelessness she created in me for that brief encounter with her.

Strange thing is sometimes ... something happens and I'm in the position ... to cause them pain ... since I have a good Heart ... you know what I do ... I don't :)

I've talked about the Spanish girl enough now ... hopefully, I can let the memory of her go ... the pain at a time I was down ... how she made me feel ... made a impression on me ... a painful one.

Why do I write about all this?  Well ... how do you learn things if you don't read.  How do you know what's going on if you don't read?  How do you learn if you 'are the only one who goes through this or that?'

Well ... I want you to know you aren't alone if you have experienced this, or just before experiencing it.  I want you to know this ... before you 'get old before you know it' ... research, have a plan/foundation to follow.  Have direction to go in ... don't think 'I'm never going to get old ... I have plenty of time'.  No, you don't.

If your life is anything like mine ... so many things happen to distract you ... all you do is focus, live what's at the moment.  Then ... today comes ... you are OLD.  If you didn't have all the wonderful 401K plans, insurances set in place ... everything set up for old age ... you will be like me.

You can get sick ... lose everything ... events happen in your life ... all those good things can still get gone that you set in place.  That happened to us.

No direction to go in ... no one willing to offer solid advice ... people who have made it to a place to survive aren't going to tell you anything because it could hurt them.

They will sit, watch you flounder like a fish out of water trying to find a way to survive ... if you fall off a cliff, so be it ... as long as they are all right.  They think you aren't aware of them as they watch you fall on your face ... all the while sitting in comfort.  Good for them ... bad for you.

When you struggle to survive ... you don't have the money to save back, that's true.  When you have medical conditions on top of it ... that adds to your struggle.  What do you do?  I wish I could tell you, I just don't know.  I'm having to learn ... I need solid advice, not just ideas.

I know if I listen, watch closely ... it will come to me.  Oh ... did you think I was going to fall down, not get back up ... lay and whine, cry 'woe is me'?  Feel sorry for my OLD ass?  Did you think this was the end for me ... I would let go of Life so easily now at this point in my life?

Well ... you are right!  You know me ... I have already gotten back up off the ground Life threw me on once again ... all the while dusting my ass off ... fire in my eyes ... strength in my Heart.  I have my whole world ... Skip and the Pups ... to think of.  I'm the strongest at this time  ... I'm going to find the way for us to survive.  I will share as much of it as I can to hopefully help you ... one day when you get OLD.

I know OLD people still have a whole life ahead ... they still think, act, feel young.  Like us ... we didn't even know we'd gotten OLD until our bodies let us know.  We still aren't sure if we are OLD, yet.  Maybe I will realize it when I'm taking my last sweet breath of Life.

Note by this Author:

Somehow ... I became OLD before I knew it ... the many distractions of real Life kept me busy, focused on everything else ... when my eyes opened to see ... you can see what I saw in my mirror ... only I looked worse from the grief I had to go through when losing my son.  

Photos/article owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter.

Life has thrown me on my ass ... oh wait a minute ... on my OLD ass again!  On my OLD ass for the first time!  I'm already up ... brushing the dirt of failure off it ... I'm not going to lay there whining, crying 'woe is me' all the while feeling sorry for myself.  Hell no!  Not!

I am at another 'lowest point in my life' ... I'm facing it head-on.  I might have fear in my Heart ... I'm still facing it head-on like I'm the most fearless being in the world.  I might die trying ... get knocked down again ... but, as long as I have the sweet breath of Life in my body ... I am crawling if I have to.

I will hold my ground for as long as possible ... even if I now have to do something I never had to do ... ask for help.  When I ask for help ... it's with the thought of my whole world ... I will do anything for Skip, and our Pups ... they are my whole world.  I was the weakest of us ... for now, I'm the strongest.

Strange thing is ... even when weakest .... I was strongest.  Does it remind you of anyone I've told you about?  Grandma Alma :)  The strongest woman I ever knew was paralyzed, and she was my grandma ... my childhood hero.