By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I am thinking of opening Tommy's Chest ... simply taking my hand to open the lid up. Each time I've tried in the past several years ... I couldn't raise the lid. My Heart was too heavy to let my hand open the chest.
Looking at me ... you wouldn't see that I carry the heaviest of weights a mother can. It's pure grief, pain ... you can't see it at all. Isn't that amazing ... something that can weight someone down ... yet, it can't be seen?
I can hide it easily now ... isn't that amazing? I can smile ... my smile hides my grief! A smile can hide something so big ... heavy! If I'm hurting ... I do each day of my life from past thoracotomy surgeries ... I can smile ... and a smile can hide the pain!
Think about it ... a smile that you can't hold in your hands ... a smile that only your face can do ... can ... hide so much! A smile weighs nothing yet ... it can hide something so heavy. Amazing.
I think about this and I'm amazed. Have you ever thought of such before reading this? How strong a smile is ... yet, it weighs nothing. How it can lift up spirits ... yet ... all a mouth has to do ... is smile.
A smile can make a person feel they are on Cloud 9 ... like walking on air! A smile can warm one's heart like a burning fireplace. A smile can bring comfort ... makes one's world right again.
A beautiful smile is worth its weight in gold. I know my whole world was brighter even from a stranger's smile. It means the whole world.
I try to smile all the time ... sometimes, I don't ... suppose someone didn't smile back ? That hurts my feelings. Have you ever felt that way when you smiled at someone?
A smile is a powerful weapon. Think about it ... when smiling in a good way ... it's like throwing a piece of wood onto a fireplace ... all burns merrily ... crackling, popping.
Imagine this ... suppose someone didn't like you ... and something bad happened to you ... and you see an evil smile come across their face. It would be awful ... someone smiling an evil smile ... it would be really bad.
I'll tell you a type of smile I like ... the unexpected smile someone smiles when you don't think they will smile at all. That's like a blast of warmth when you open the door to go inside from the cold.
I really like to smile ... even when I hurt, feel bad ... cry. No matter what I do ... I've caught myself smiling. I do it to reassure others that I'm alright ... everything's going to be alright. I do it so that I don't pull someone else's mood down. I smile to hide things I don't want anyone to see. My smile hides it all. :)
Note by this Author:
I'm smiling now ... I'm not sad at all. I am a little under the weather with cold-like symptoms that happened a couple hours after taking the pneumonia shot. Sometimes ... when I smile ... I make my own self feel better.
I am going to try to open Tommy's Chest in the near future. I don't know if I'll be able to. I'll let you know how it goes.
Photo, story by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
I have never seen you not smile! Each time I have ever seen you, you always had the biggest smile. I am glad you like to smile because you have a beautiful smile. I don't think I would recognize you if you didn't smile. Love, Ms. Nancy
ReplyDeleteThis post really moved me. I have always smiled a lot in my life and consider it a key that opens doors. Even when I was in a lot of pain, I have continued to smile. We are like soul sisters! Instead of a chest, I had a box with all of my son's special items. It was a huge thing when I opened it many years after his death. Similarly, the anticipation and dread weighted on me. It was tough, but allowed me to write about feelings that ultimately helped me heal. And I hadn't realized you had a thoracotomy - a good friend of mine had that and is suffering so much. It was life altering for her. My goodness, you've been through so much. But you're still smiling - so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI've had 2 thoracotomies ... one year apart. I have thoracotomy syndrome and I have lived with the pain for years without pain medicines. :)
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