Friday, April 29, 2016

We Both Been on New Roads in Our Life ...

We've Both Been on New Roads in Our Life ...

by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

'It sure feels so good to feel good again' ... I truly know what this saying means. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I don't know where to begin.  Since January this year, Skip's health declined. He has been through so much that began to happen to his body.  I won't go into all of it ... but, I will say this evening is both his, my best evening in 4 months.  

He has had surgery .... I just had surgery 9 days ago.  I haven't written for some time, but will begin to soon.  I've missed writing.  

I just wanted to touch base here ... Skip and I have been on new roads in our life.  We've both come so far.  I will write more about this when I'm more up to it.  Goodnight everyone.  Gloria <3

Friday, April 15, 2016

There Comes The Time One Has To Ask For Help ...


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

This is what happens when family dies out, one has no family support system left for when one day when they need them.

One of my Facebook Friends has been trying to help us with the post on Facebook below.  I had mentioned doing a GoFundMe page ... but, was hesitant because so many people have abused it.  

I didn't know if anyone would recognize we really need help until Skip can be alright again.  I don't have anyone to help us, to go to ... to ask for money.  I don't have any way of paying it back.  

I need to purchase tires for the pickup ... the trips (80 miles) back, forwards to Raleigh have wreaked havoc on already tires that need to be replaced.  I have no way of buying them.  

Skip just had surgery last Thursday, and there are complications.  We are having to make extra trips to, from Raleigh to his doctors, hospital, tests.  He may have surgery again.

Since January, Skip has suffered a stroke, mini-strokes.  He went into congestive heart failure, pneumonia.  He had a pacemaker put in .... then, 2 heart stents.  Then, his kidney shut down and a uretheral stent was put in.  He has been in the hospital 3 times, and has almost died 3 times.  Fluid built back up again around his heart.  Now, he has complications from the surgery to do with his right kidney, we'll know this week if he will have surgery again.  

I will have surgery on Wednesday, this week (April 20th).  It's amazing what has happened since the beginning of this year ... we have sailed through storm after storm ... and still doing it.  We are staying strong, and I'm strong while Skip can't be.  I'm there, always ... for him.  I watch over him even when he is sleeping.  I try to be his guardian angel in this world.

We are doing okay with getting our meds ... we need help with gas, food, and tires, and an oil change. Skip worries about the oil, has all through being very ill.  This is the only way I know to help us, that's to let people know.  I pray that you will.  

Maybe you could send Skip a card ... to bring a smile to his face.  That would mean so, so much.  I told my friends on Facebook that I tell Skip that they are all caring, sending messages ... but, actually holding caring, love in his hands, looking at a card would mean the world, and be a wonderful surprise.

I'm asking for financial help from strangers who come to read me, I know.  I don't have people I know, or family to go to.  The few friends who have helped us ... I can't ask anymore of them ... they have their own life they need their money for.  I don't want to take advantage, or make them feel they have to do something.  They've been so good to us, and I'm so grateful.

I would like to tell younger people to treasure their family/friends support system.  Treat it like a garden ... so, it's big.  You don't want to be like me ... grow older, have no one.  The very family members I love, knew would be there for me ... have all died.  I don't know the family members left, I never grew up, associated with them.  My only family left is Skip, and our 2 Pups, Kissy and Camie.

This is what happens when one becomes older, finds out there isn't any financial help for senior citizens.  I asked for help at our local social services.  They gave us $123 for food, monthly .... they cut it down to $111 monthly.  They said we can't get financial help because there aren't children in the house.  They said we could get on a 2 year waiting list for a place to live, and we'd have to give up our dogs.  

I've exhausted everything, burned up badly needed gas ... including completely losing my pride.  I will say I'm not beaten down ... I have to be strong for us.  I won't feel bad for having to go public to ask for help, I have no choice.  At first, I was so embarrassed ... it's past being embarrassed ... all is too serious, now.  

Each month I worry about getting bills paid so, nothing will be turned off, especially not while Skip is so sick.

If anyone wants to help us, please don't feel I'm begging you to, or pressuring.  I understand how expensive all is today, how much everything costs ... you have families to raise, and have to live.  If like I've done in the past when I never worried about money ... one has extra money to help someone in real need ... I hope you will.  I have done that many times in my life because I wanted to.  Maybe there's someone that will feel the same way.  

Below, is what my Facebook Friend did for us to try to help us.  So far, not many have helped, and I know they have their own life to take care of, and I understand.  

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

This is the information below, she put on her Facebook, and on mine:

Friends of Gloria Faye Brown Bates She really needs our help. I know she does not want to ask, so I am asking for her. 

For my friends who do not know Gloria, she has been having a rough go of it lately. Her husband Skip has been seriously ill and in and out of the hospital at least 3 times since Jan. They both have health issues and money is in short supply right now. Please help if you can.

She needs anything you can give. If you want to put $1 in an envelope and put a stamp on it along with a note, every little bit will help. My guess is that she would appreciate even a note or post card from someone who cares.

Things that could help:
An uplifting note or card with or without a small amount of cash

Giftcards: walmart (meds & food & Tires needed for car) Amazon (almost anything) Petsmart (pet food for their 2 dogs)

Money sent through PayPal  (be sure to put the word ... 'at' ... after gloriapaintsat)

How to send it:

Mailing Address for Gloria & Skip Bates
268 Beasley Rd
Louisburg, NC 27549

Email for E gift cards or PayPal

Please Share this post with your friends

Thank you

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Last Night When I Wrote What I Did ... I Was In Such Turmoil


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

I have a very ill husband, two Pups that are my world. My world is being threatened by illness. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Last night when I wrote what I did ... I was in such turmoil. We were expecting a good visit ... after Skip's surgery. It wasn't good at all.
That means more trips to Raleigh to the doctors, his and mine at the same time. We have been having 2-3 appointments lately in the same day ... to save on buying gas for a 80 mile trip each time. I have to have surgery later this month. Co-pays ... food ... gas ... bills ... we had been barely making it, but ... we were doing it without having to ask for help ... and now, we have more on us.
The worst thing is ... Skip is in danger of kidney failure. I can't go into all he is going through at this very time. For now, our life is scary ... I could lose Skip ... I have realized this 3 times just lately ... can you imagine losing the very person in your world ... you love with your Heart ... and he is the only person in the world you have? Skip isn't out of danger. I still see the expression on the urologist/surgeon's face ... and hear his words in my mind. I'm afraid. I'm sick with worry.

I saw the tires when we came out of the office ... I heard Skip worrying over he needed to get the oil changed ( he doesn't need to worry ... he is in a serious medical crisis at this moment) ... my mind began crying out ... I kept asking myself ... what am I going to do? Really, what am I going to do? I was thinking how crazy it is to think such things when Skip ... is in a bad way. His life is more important.
For those who thought I was asking for money to help me on my Facebook Page ... understand that I would never-ever do that ... I can't just go ask people for their money ... knowing I can't pay it back. I was talking to the only place I have to come to talk ... it's on my page.
No one has to comment or even let me know they read it ... especially thinking I'm asking them for money. This is my page to .... talk. I have no one ... no where else to go. I'd rather no one said anything than to think I was asking them. When you do ... I really pay attention to why you would think I was asking you ... knowing I'm not close enough to anyone to ask .... for money. It hurts me when I read you can't offer me anything when ... I didn't ask. Please don't say anything like that ... just know I'm not asking ... 'you'. I would never do that.
I would take the suggestion of a GoFund Me Page .... knowing I would take the chance of being rejected by everyone ... because so many people use GoFund Me in the wrong way ... there are always scams ... people begging for money for all kinds of things. I would risk no one hearing my cry for help if I had to ask. I would know all these things ... before ... I did it. I would be expecting nothing ... who am I? I would just be praying people who didn't know me would recognize I wouldn't ask if I didn't need help ... through my words.
My pride is quickly disappearing ... and I'm not going to let someone make me feel bad for not having anyone ... any family ... to go to for help. If I didn't have Skip and our Pups ... I wouldn't ask at all .... I would take care of my needs ... I would end them. I'm the only one they have to depend on ... no pride left here. It's gone ... it just got gone.
Think of yourself as a woman ... no one else in the world you can turn to. The few people who have been so good to you ... you can't take from them again ... you just can't keep taking .... you can't imagine the pain of taking money from someone knowing you have no choice ... because it means the world. You have no way of paying it back ... all these feelings inside your mind ....
Imagine letting people know your situation ... when you have always been so private, so independent. Imagine being a woman who never had to take care of everything ... make all the decisions ... and one day her husband nearly dies 3 times in 4 months ... and still isn't out of danger. Being a person whose family has died ... very few friends ... who never-ever had to ask anyone for anything ...
I'm being everything .. I wasn't .. before. So, if you see a GoFund Me Page in the future (I pray it won't come to that) ... just understand why ... don't think I'm asking any of my Facebook Friends for money ... I understand well you have your own lives to take care of. Just don't even comment at all ... to save some of the pride I have left.
Sometimes, it's better not to say anything at all. The ones who really cared, cares ... I recognized/recognize that. I thank you for caring. I love you for it.
This is my place to come to ... if you happen to read, it doesn't mean you have to comment at all. Just quietly go your way.
Also, if you are a real friend I want you to stay here ... if not, please remove yourself from my Facebook Friends.
Don't stay here to enjoy seeing me go through another rough time in my life .. I know who some of you are. I don't need that. In fact, to save you the trouble of removing yourselves ... I will be doing that all along now.
This is my Facebook Page ... I come here to write ... talk about real life ... in the meantime ... I learn from some of you sometimes, in how to cope with what I'm going through.
I don't need negative from anyone on here ... and I'm 'down' but ... I'm holding my ground, I'm not weak at all, nor pitiful. So, the few I still let stay here on my Facebook Page until I have time to remove you ... I want you to know that. Your day may come when you have no one, also. I'll know, I'll feel compassion ... I know how it feels.
Also, one other thing that bothered me is not long ago when someone told someone that I had lost my son .... and that person said, "but, I thought that was a long time ago" .... this keeps going through my mind. It was 5 years ago ... but, in my mind .... my grieving mother's mind ... it is still ... yesterday. I'll never forget that being said ... it burned into my mind.
Sadly, people will lose a child to one day understand how it hurt me. I'm not the only grieving mother in the world. I've coped in a positive way ... I still hurt deeply inside.
If you've read this far ... and you think I wrote a lot. That's right ... I do write that much ... this is my space to write what I want. If it bothers you in a negative way, please remove yourself ... go your own way. I respect your feelings, here ... my feelings will be respected.
Those who care at all ... who knows, maybe you have your own ideas, suggestions if you've walked on this road before. I know when I've walked different paths in life ... I would share anything to help another not have to go through the grief I did. That's what people who care ... do. I care ... I have a big Heart ...
I understand so much in Life that is painful. Do I wallow in the mud, feel sorry for myself? That's a big NO ... I get my ass up and keep going until I get knocked down again ... I get back up .... so it goes ... I get right back up. I don't give up.
I learned this from a woman who was paralyzed for over 20 years, as a little girl. I watched her struggle with the Hell she lived in, she never gave up. She was my Grandma Alma, my hero in my little girl life. She was a spitfire lady ... I loved with my very Heart.
I am sharing all I said here, on my Blog ... I thank you all who care, understand. If I don't see you anymore after this .... I respect, understand that it was time to part ways.
I treasure my Friends, here ... that's all I want to stay on my Facebook Page, just the ones who feel like I do ... people who have been here since Tommy died. You never had to say anything ... just being there ... meant the world to me. I love you, all.

Note by this Author:

I've reached a point in time where I've never felt as alone as I feel now.  This is what happens when one has lost their very family members who were their support system in life.  I have lost them, and my only child.

My husband is very ill ... and the few people who helped us in the past .... I can't ask them for help again.  I can't even pay back what they've given me.  What they did was more than I can possibly thank them from my Heart for ... asking for help from them would be taking advantage.

I am considering the GoFund Me Page to ask for help ... I don't know that it will help because so many people scam on there.  I don't know if anyone would recognize someone who has a real need in Life.  I may take the chance ... I am considering it.  I don't want to ask for help, but I may find myself in a position to have no choice but, to ask.

Friday, April 8, 2016

I May Have To Ask For Financial Help ... I Don't Have A Family Support System

April 08, 2016 ... Friday ... Update on Skip ... and ,,, The Pups

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

Since January .. my Husband has almost died 3 times ... stroke, congested heart failure ... he had a pacemaker put in ... had 2 heart stents put in ... suffered a groin bleed ... kidney failure, had a kidney stent put in ... plus much more than I will say.  On top of it all, he had pneumonia.  

For the 4th month, we have been battling his illnesses.  He has been in the hospital 3 times ... he has also, fallen 3 times due to his heart failure.  All of this time ... somehow, I've made it with my own medical conditions to be there for him.  I love my Husband with my very Heart.  I'm afraid for him.

I will have surgery later this month on top of it all.  I am going to my doctor appointments at the same time as going to Skip's, and to the hospital.  Like today ... we had 3 appointments to go to ... some days there are two appointments.

Today at the doctor's visit ... Skip's condition has taken another serious turn.  I don't know what we will do for money, we need tires for the pickup to drive back, forwards to Raleigh (40 miles going, 40 miles coming back) ... we need to change the oil.  Skip is too sick to understand, worry about these things. He always took care of these things for us.  

I have been alone in all of this ... no one to talk to, to go to.  I've been focusing on running everyday to be with Skip ... praying that the pickup will hold up.  I have no one to help me financially ... I can't  just go to anyone to ask for help.  

I'm in a position I don't know what to do.  So, I will go forward, as far as I can.  If I can't go any farther ... I will have to ask for help ... someone suggested to make a GoFund Me page like I did when I needed help to help our Pups.  

If I do have to make a GoFund Me page to ask for help ... it's because I have no where to turn ... I have no one left in this world to be here for me. This is what happens when one's family dies out ... no family/friend support system.  

I have no one but, Skip and our Pups.  What I'm trying to say is ... if you see me ask for help publically .... it's because I have no choice.  I have to be there for Skip, and our Pups.  I don't want to sound like I'm begging for help when I ask.  I'm afraid I am going to have to ask in the near future.  

I can't ask in person ... I'm afraid to take from someone because in my mind I worry about them needing it.  I know I have given my last dollar in the past ... and I don't want to take someone's 'last dollar'.  I can't take advantage of anyone.

I'm a giver, and I've never been a taker ... only in extreme situations.  This is an extreme situation that may cause me to ask for help ... and I'm so sorry I have to.  If you see me ask for help, just know that I have to.


This is to my Facebook Friends:  (I posted this this evening ... to update everyone) ...

Today's appointment wasn't good at all ... all is more complicated. I won't go into detail about it here, anymore. All is too serious ... and our life has taken another unexpected turn ... it has gotten much harder, more serious. I will respect Skip's privacy at this point ... he doesn't want me to talk about his condition to anyone right now.

At the moment, we've been knocked to the ground ... we are going to stay down for this weekend, rest. We both are so mentally, physically tired from all Skip has suffered these past 3 months.

Once we are rested .... strong again ... we will get up ... dust our pants off ... and go to battle once more in our life. We have a war to win ... and my fighting spirit will pull us through. I feel it fired up for the fight ... I just need rest now ... I've more than reached my breaking point.

Just like I told Skip ... no matter what ... all is going to be alright. Thank you all for caring. heart emoticon I won't talk about this to anyone no time soon. Some things have to be private. I know my Facebook Friends understand. I send you all love.

 heart emoticon heart emoticon heart emoticon
Our Pups are taken good care of ... always. When I leave for all these appointments ... I leave them lots of water, food out. We love, pet them constantly. heart emoticon