Saturday, April 29, 2017

I Waved ... They Turned Their Head



I Waved ... They Turned Their Head






Written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  Photos are also ... property of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.





Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee







Have you ever had a flashback to something that happened years ago?  I did this morning at something that was most unfair to Skip and I.  Why I thought of it ... I don't know because ... I never dwell on anything from the past.  This was so unfair ... but, sometimes life isn't ... fair at times.


Dwelling on the past isn't healthy ... it would be like ... regurgitating your already eaten food up ... rechewing it again ... swallowing it.  Who wants to do that?


Yes, I know when we are young we have to learn not ... to live in the past.  Once we get past that point ... we have made some kind of peace inside and look forward ... to living in the present.


I know very well the things that I came through in my own life ... I had quite a time of learning to cope with 'bad' things that happened to me since being very little.  So ... it's easier said than ... doing it.  Doing it means working at it even sometimes for ... years.


The only thing from the past that bothers me are the deaths of all my family members ... the worst being my only child ... Tommy.


I don't dwell on any of it ... I just cope with the grief when it strikes like lightning ...unexpectedly.
Then ... I become a storm of tears and darkness until ... I climb out of it like being in a dark cave ... looking for the light to show me the way out.


Getting back to my flashback.  Skip and I've always been people who care about others ... when we used to have a lot we always shared ... we always gave things to others we didn't need, use ... things that were well-taken care of and still looked new.  We bought things ... not the cheapest ... to give. We never gave ... trash.


We also, gave money to others unexpectedly ... when we felt someone needed a little extra help ... they never had to ask us.  We would find a way of doing it so the person (s) would never know we were trying to make a way to do so without embarrassing them.


I wish those days were still here ... we love to give ... now, we are on a limited income.  But ... we still give, share.  :)


We have always loved people ... animals.  You wouldn't believe the things we have done for others through time ... and I won't go into it ... why would I when we believe when one gives ... you go on to let go once you do.  When we use to travel ... we made a difference in strangers' lives.


Getting back to my flashback this morning ... I don't know 'why?' the vision came to my mind of seeing people we'd given a beautiful 52" color tv to.  The tv had never sat on the floor ... it had wheels.  We took care of it.  We had updated to a flat-screen tv.

These people had seen our big-screen tv and wished for one like it.  Being us ... Skip and I always said when we got another tv ... we would give it to those people ... but ... we wouldn't tell them ... we would just do it when the time came.


Time went on ... and they got into a dispute with some of their relatives ... they tried to get us to take sides.  We wouldn't ... we cared about everyone.  Time went on ... we got our flat-screen tv ... called them up ... we were excited to see their faces when we gave them something they wished for so much.


Oh my ... they were pure-thrilled to get that big-screen tv.  They kept remarking on how new it looked ... how beautiful the picture was ... how it'd never sat on the floor ... they were so happy.  You would have thought they'd won a million dollars.


I can't tell you how happy we were to ... make them happy.  That's the whole thing ... the biggest reward ... that wonderful feeling of making a good difference in someone's life.


Unless you are a giver ... you won't ever understand.  If you are a giver ... oh my ... you know how wonderful it feels to bring a big old smile to someone's face ... eyes.  How wonderful to see their faces ... hear their excited voices ... and know you helped to put it there.  They talked about that big-screen tv for days.


Time went on ... and their feud with their family grew bigger ... these people tried to get Skip and me to take sides.  Of course ... we didn't ... we don't like to be drawn into other people's business nor their fights.


More time went by ... these people began to act cool toward Skip and me ... we lived beside them at that time.  Oh ... how it devastated Skip and I.  It was like our hands were tied ... no matter when they called us ... they couldn't understand why we wouldn't choose 'their side'.  They couldn't understand we weren't like that ... we loved everyone.


The day came ... they packed up to move away.  My flashback vision this morning was standing on the porch to wave at them.


They were putting the big-screen tv on the back of their pickup ... looked up at me ... I waved to them from the porch.  They turned their heads ... backs to me ... no one ever waved back to me.


I have to be truthful here ... though I don't look back in the past often ... this particular moment flashes back to me.  The sun was shining ... it was a beautiful day ... when they didn't wave back to me ... I felt such pain in my Heart.  I loved them ... simple as that.


Waving to them ... they saw me ... turning their backs on me.  No one ever waved back to me.  I just hung my head ... walked back into the house.  I felt very sad.


The only time we ever heard from them was a phone call months later ... wanting us to go to court to be on their side.  Just like always ... I told them we cared about all of them and we couldn't do that. The whole feud was 'silly' ... but, in their minds it was a big thing.  They 'don't see us' when we meet once in a while in a store.


Have you ever waved to someone ... they look straight at you ... turn their backs to you?  Did it hurt?






Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee







Note by this Author:


This really happened ... it did hurt both Skip and I.  I know ... I know ... we can't expect everyone to feel like we do.  We cared about those people ... this was at a time when we believed friendship would ... last forever.


This was one of those times that taught us a life's lesson ... friendship doesn't last forever with some people.  Some people get what they want from you ... after that ... you don't exist anymore.


We were and are ... very private people ... we never visited them.  The man would call Skip sometimes.  So ... we never bothered them nor got into their life.  They tried to get into our life ... in gentle, firm ways ... we wouldn't allow that.


It's okay now ... it's been years since this happened.  I think of several things I was taught as a child (it is a wonder I was taught anything and just grew up to be a pure ... wild-ass hellion!).


I was taught that familiarity breeds contempt.  It's very true ... you don't get so close that you tell everyone everything about yourself.


You don't allow them into your home, personal life ... you keep at least some of that from anyone.  If you notice ... when something happens another person will hurt, destroy your life if they can.  Your private life goes to hell.


This is solely what I learned through time ... and how I live.  I don't allow anyone to get close enough to me to know my most private life, thoughts, feelings.


I'm a loyal, true friend, good person ... I mind my business and stay out of others' lives.  I'm best at being a 'long-distance' friend ... one that won't ever get into someone else's life.  Why?  I RESPECT ... CARE ... that's why.


I'm fortunate to grow up somehow to be a good person.  I met a lot of good people through time ... I guess somehow they became a part of me by the things I learned from them.


I shudder to think of 'the things' I could have done if I hadn't been a good person inside ... to begin with.  I would be like some of the family I knew ... ruthless, angry ready to destroy other lives ... just plain damn mean ... envious, hating ... the fires of Hell burning inside ... things I won't even mention to anyone.


Truthfully ... the flames of Hell burn in me ... they were instilled in me as a little girl as each 'bad' thing happened to me that no child should have happen.  I was a raging Hell-fire all through time until about age 28 (when Skip and I married).


I grew up to hate ... be mean, spiteful, to destroy others ... I was a most angry person with an awful chip on my shoulder ... as a young woman, something in me was always trying to go forward to be as good as I could be as a person.  I had a battle going on inside.


I found that when I did mean things toward others ... I was the one who felt the pain!  Is that amazing?  I learned when I did good things to others ... I felt so, so good inside.


My life growing up shaped me into that hateful, hating, angry person who hid everything with a sunshine smile.  Thankfully ... as a young woman ... my smile became who I really was inside ... a loving, caring, good person.


I have to say though ... people have mistaken me being a good, caring ... loving person through time meant I was ... easy. They shouldn't have done that because ... the fires of Hell still burn in me and I never forgot how to get down and dirty to fight a battle.  I grew up to be a fighter ... a warrior.  Of course, I don't fight physically but ... if need be ...


I'm not proud of that ... I'm proud I have learned to not be like that but, I do have a backbone of ... steel.  I don't like to be pushed that far ... but ... it's amazing to see someone's face when they realized they underestimated me ... and think they can get over on me.


It makes me sad when someone ever so often thinks because I care, smile ... good to them ... to think I'm ... weak.  I know what comes next ... they begin to think they will take advantage of me.  I have watched it play out until the number 3 ... then ... like my Grandma Alma taught me ... I 'nip it in the bud'.


Then ... it hurts me just as much as having to hurt someone to show them I won't be taken advantage of.  I'm sure all of you have encountered such times in your own lives.  Some people let others run over them ... I'm not a doormat ... I stop it.



This person may be a good person but ... I never forget someone who hurts me ... I forgive, never forget. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.








4 comments:

  1. If you are a real friend you are a friend for life through thick and thin. It's the false friends that will get you every time and make you feel bad.

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  2. There was always something going on next door to us when we were growing up. I don't know how you turned out to be the kind loving person you are today! I know you can take care of yourself when to. You are still a wonderful person. Love, Ms Nancy

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    1. Thank you for that, Ms Nancy. I don't know how I turned out like I did though I'm not perfect ... but, am a good person all the way.

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