Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Walter Sebastian was sitting on his front porch, smoking a Winston...doing nothing. A small gray truck came down the long, isolated driveway. Nobody ever visited him, most didn't even know the old white house was even there as it was so far off the main roads and not visible.
A medium built, young man got out of the truck. The truck had 'Dundee County Treasury' on the side of it. As the man approached the house, Walter took one last drag off his Winston, threw the butt in the yard. 'Who the hell are you?' scoffed Walter Sebastian, in his polka dot underwear. 'What do you want?'
The young man, taken aback by the rudeness...spoke up. 'My name is Steve, I'm with Dundee County Treasurers office. I'm just doing a tax assessment.' Walter, irritated, yelled back 'I paid my damn taxes already.'
Steve responded to Walter....'yes sir, but I have to do an assessment...we go door to door every so often, to see if you've built on, made improvements.' Walter...pissed at this point snapped. 'You god damn greedy bastards, always wanting more money! Can't you see I live like a damn heathen! '
Walter had lived in the house since he was small, never left home. He lived with his Mother until she... died. The house was falling into disrepair.
'Well, go ahead then, you nosey fucker, look around. You'll see I ain't got shit!'. Steve the tax assessor walked around... then he peeked inside a shed out back. Walter...stood at the little truck reached in and grabbed the keys that were left in the ignition. Steve reappeared from behind the house. 'Well, no improvements here. I'll be on my way.'
The man got in the truck, looked around for his keys. As he was bent over looking in the floorboard for his keys...Walter Sebastian came at him with an old board that was lying on the ground, slamming it into the guys head. ' What...what are you...' Bam. Walter nailed him with the board once more, blood spewing everywhere....the man was unconscious.
' That will teach you not to come on my property again....nosy, greedy bastards! ' laughed Walter with his polka dotted boxer underwear. Walter Sebastian went back to his plastic chair on the porch....smoked another cigarette. 'Damn, I wonder if I killed him? He's not waking up', Walter said, then smiled his strange creepy little smile. Walter walked over to the truck. 'I think he is dead.' Walter dragged the man out of his truck. He dragged him down behind the house.
' I'll bury him next to my mother, said Walter, as he dug a shallow grave, rolled the man over in it and covered him back up with dirt, leaves, and branches.
When he finished burying him...he paused to look where he had buried his mother....'sorry about your accident, mom.' Walter grinned...sick and non-remorseful. 'I told her to stay off those stairs...and she wouldn't listen.' Walter had pushed her to her death years ago....pushed her down the stairs.
Walter walked back up to the house...'shit, what the hell do I do with this truck?' Walter smiled his smile...' I would like a new truck'...'but its got this damn county shit painted on the door.'
Walter had an idea. He went to the shed...spray painted over the door with Dundee County Treasury on it. 'Now.... Let me get rid of these government license plates..'
Walter had some older license plates in the shed. He switched them out....peeled the stickers off the county truck plates and put them on his old plates. Then he got the registration, and all paperwork out of the truck, put it in the trash barrel to be burned.
'Untraceable' smiled Walter Sebastian. 'I have a new truck'....laughed Walter. 'And the best part is...I didn't even have to pay the fucking taxes'.!!!