I've Been a River ... I've Been a Waterfall

I've Been a River ... I've Been a Waterfall
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo owned/taken by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Drops of water splashing on a rock
I watch the drop break apart
Into a million more drops of water

Millions of drops ... water
Sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight
Splash here ... splash there

I've watched my own teardrops fall
Fall while in amazement
At how many I could cry

Like a waterfall that never stops
My eyes cried teardrops for my child
Making pools ... here ... there

When I lay my head on my pillow
My tear drops flow like a river
From my eyes

Standing up I became a waterfall
Tears falling on my hands
I stared in amazement as each fell

Diamond teardrops perfectly shaped
Ready to put in a gold ring
If they were solid

Sometimes I become a flood
Drowning in tear drops
I have nowhere to run

Amazed at the drops of water
Splashing from my eyes
Onto the rocks beneath my feet

I've been a river ... I've been a waterfall
A flood all at the same time
Today ... I am a quiet, deep pool of calm water







Note by this Author:

Like a quiet, deep pool of calm water ... my grief lies below the surface like the fish that swim around.  Sometimes ... my grief surfaces just as a fish does when someone throws bread to them.

I know grief is a forever feeling in my Heart ... it's love for my son ... sad I'll never see him again.  Pain for what was ... pain for what isn't now.  It really does hurt so bad ... though I'm so very strong ... I've accepted it.

No matter what ... no matter how bad ... everything is going to be alright.

Photo/poem owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee in memory of my son, Tommy.  I miss you with my very Heart, Son.






No matter what ... no matter how bad ... everything is going to be alright. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Traveling Grieving Mother's Road

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee






(I am sharing this from my writing site MyLot.com)

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

NOTE:
I dedicate this poem to Debbie Reavis who has recently lost her son ... I wrote this poem with her in mind ... I'm standing here with outstretched hand ... waiting however long it takes ... for her to get to where I am ... in the sunlight.  Debbie, if I could take your pain away I would ... I know how it feels ... I care with my Heart.  Love Your Friend, Gloria    I'm so sorry you have to walk the road of a Grieving Mother.







I've traveled Grieving Mother's Road ... I am still on it 6 years later. Everything does get better no matter how bad. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.







You walk in darkness
Because your child is gone
I'm ahead of you
Holding out my hand

We both walk the same road
I'm just a little farther ahead
I stand in the sunshine now
Waiting for you to reach the light

My heart hurts for you
Because I know what it is
To be a grieving mother
Struggling in the sea of darkness

I know the pain, panic
The feeling of trapped birds
In a cage ... wings fluttering
Trying to get out

I wait patiently for you to arrive
It may take months ... years
I wait here in the sunlight
Holding my hand out

For you to take one day
The road is long ... hard
I wish I could walk the road
Of Grieving Mother for you

So you wouldn't have to suffer pain
When you say in words your pain
I feel the pain in my very soul
I know what it feels like to lose a son

I've been there ... I'm here now
Waiting for you no matter how long
It takes for you to get here
You aren't alone on the road of Grieving Mother

When you are alone crying
Open your eyes ... look ahead
Can you see me ... I'm standing right here
I'm holding my hand out ... waiting for you

You may not know it now
I promise you the day will come
Everything is going to be alright
No matter how bad

I know this as a grieving mother
So, I reach out to you ... I see you
In the distance ... in the darkness
Trying to find light ... any light

Open your eyes ... look here
I'm a grieving mother who knows your pain
I hold my hand out while I wait
On the Grieving Mother's road

I know you have many more tears to shed
It's not time yet for you to take my hand
When the day comes ... sadly we'll smile
Say ... I'm so glad to be here

That will be the day you came to terms
Accepting what is impossible to now
Your son is gone ... my son is gone
We know how it feels ... we are grieving mothers

Let's turn toward the darkness if need be
Wait with outstretched hand
To let another grieving mother
Know she isn't alone ...

Stand as a beacon of light for her to see
On the darkest path of her life
Be there to let her know we care
We know ... we've been there





Note by this Author:

My friend's life has just taken a turn on Grieving Mother's Road.  Oh my, I know the heartache, pain she is in ... has to bear.  I'm here for her.


I had to put some of my feelings in words ... I feel her pain so much.  I hope all my Friends ... Followers will say a prayer for Debbie.  I know prayers work miracles ... they have many times in my own life.


I pray for a miracle to help her as she travels in the darkness until one day she can come out into the sunshine.  Oh my, how I feel her pain deeply in my soul.


Photo/poem owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

You Never Know Who We Brush Shoulders With ...

Photo owned/taken by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  ... This is what abuse looks like. You never know who you brush shoulders with ... there are people who do awful things ... while you believe they are good people.

Note:  I am sharing with you what I posted on my Facebook, my writing site at MyLot.com this morning at Facebook.com/granny gee.

When someone mistreats/abuses an animal/person ... there's always someone who is watching ... someone who hurts because of your actions. You don't only abuse the animal/person ... you abuse people who care, love. This is strictly how I feel ... no one will ever know the pain in my Heart seeing mistreated people/animals from the time I was little ... to now ... today.

With my very Heart ... I wish for each abuser ... the opportunity to walk in the shoes of the very ones they abuse ... to understand what their hands, minds do to another being. No more ... no less ... only what you, the abuser dishes out.

I am a very good person. I love with my very Heart. I care about everyone, animals. I don't ever wish bad for others. I forgive things I don't see others forgive. I strive to be the best I can. You might ask me how could I say the above statements I just made.

This morning this has been on my mind. I've settled down now for the first time in the almost past 3 months ... I can think, look back at what's transpired.

I was thinking no one can ever know the grief, pain I've been experiencing since seeing Duke in distress ... suffering ... going through such things because of another human being's hands.

I look at the big picture and think to myself ... this dog was isolated, left to tangle up around trees, stumps ... his water to freeze ... his food to be rained on ... weather to fall on him while he fought to get to his dog house, couldn't because of a chain. A cold, open doghouse. What in the world was the owner thinking? I remember his words .... "I have him here to protect my property".

Protect a mobile home no one lived in, junk cars around. Duke was there to suffer for those things ... with his very life. For that? Really?

I think about ... days without a living being to be around, a kind word ... water, food rained on ... frozen. Tangled on the ground, heavy-ass chain frozen to the ground ... Duke couldn't get to his house out of the falling weather ... ice everywhere. Really?

When he was in his house ... it was open to the elements. No warmth. He had to lay there for months in isolation. Really?

I don't think any of my Friends would do that ... protect their property with the very life of a dog ... putting it through such pain, suffering.

I think about how Duke doesn't reflect any of that ... you'd never know he had to live like that. He's the most loving, beautiful dog that gets into your very Heart. No one would know he wasn't treated good in his life. The good thing is we can tell he was loved before ... thankfully, this owner who had him ... only had him for 5 months.

These are my thoughts this morning. I put them here ... this is where I go to think out loud ... here, my Blog ... my writing site.

I don't even ask 'why people do the things they do' ... anymore. I'm finally old enough to realize ... people DO, Will ... do anything. Only they know 'why?'

That's why bad things happen ... those people who DO, Will ... do anything live right along with us. They could be your family, friends, acquaintances ... strangers. We never know who we brush shoulders with these days in our very populated world.

These are strictly my own thoughts, feelings. I don't push them on anyone ... nor do I allow others to think for me. I mean that in the very nicest way. I'm interested in what you all feel ... feel free to tell me.

Cushion My Fall

Note: Sharing my story today from my writing site: MyLot.com

Photo taken, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Give me Clouds to cushion my falls, bumps in Life.

Cushion me from all the bumps, bangs in Life with soft, fluffy clouds! By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

No matter what we do ... it seems there's always something invented to protect, keep us from getting hurt.





Safety belts so we won't be thrown out of our cars in an accident.  Air bag to buffer us from a crash.  Stop lights to keep us from occupying the same space at one time.





These are just examples of things to protect us in case ... so we won't get hurt.  Look around you ... you can see things in place to protect you, your pets.  I have not 1 but 2 safety gates up over the storm door ... to be doubly sure our 2 dogs won't get outside to get hurt.  We have the kennel to protect our rescue dog from getting hurt ... his safe space.





I was watching tv and saw a Dorito bag with something on the front of the bag ... for one to touch to find out if they are too drunk to drive.  Have you ever thought about such?





No matter ... sometimes, we are going to get hurt.  But, I'll take anything that will ... cushion my fall!








Note by this Author:




The Tostitos bag has a ring on the front of the bag for one to test themselves to see if they are too drunk to drive.  How neat is that?  The ring turns green if you are okay ... red if you've had too much to drink.  How amazing is that?



I'll take all the soft, fluffy 'Clouds' in Life to cushion my falls, protect me from any pain.



Photo/story owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Thin Air

Thin Air
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I reached out into the air
Reaching toward something unseen
Hoping to find ... to hold my son's hand

I felt nothing as I held my hand out
I moved my hand back ... forward as if
I was moving a curtain so I could see

Again ... nothing was there
I closed my eyes ... a warm tear flowed down
My cheek ... as I stood there

I bowed my head into my hands
Knowing I will go through the rest of my life
Searching thin air ... hoping to find my son

You who haven't lost a child can't understand
How can you when you have your child
You think ...  thank God it's her ... not me

I'm glad you can think that way
So you won't be searching for your child
Hoping for something to come from thin air







Note by this Author ... Grieving Mother

A grieving mother is always searching for her child ... be it a likeness or a sound, scent.  This grieving mother hopes to just get to speak a few moments with her son ... if it can happen to someone else ... it can to her, also.

The grief gets easier over years ... it never goes away.  It's like the fish underneath the water ... it can jump out any moment.  Like the splashes of water from the fish ... grief lashes at a grieving mother's heart.  No, it never goes away ... it's always beneath the surface laying low until a likeness, sound, scent triggers it ... like the bait on a fishing pole.  Sometimes ... a big fish ... sometimes, a little fish.

Whether people like it or not who knows a grieving mother ... whether grief makes them uncomfortable or not ... doesn't matter.  Grief is there whether one likes it or not.  It's a fact of life.  We live, we die ... we are one way or the other.

Poem/photo written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  Photo of Tommy ... my son with his son, Taban.  Taken exactly one year on May 29, 2009 before he died at the ocean playing with his son, Taban on May 29, 2010.

Dog In The Cloth House

Note:  Sharing my story I wrote on MyLot.com ... January 26, 2017

This is Duke, he is the dog in the 'cloth house'.  He has a 10' by 10' ... 6' high kennel.  He has lived on a heavy chain in the winter weather.  I have made sure he doesn't have to feel the winter weather.  The only thing left to do is ... to just move in with him :) <3

I don't believe in keeping dogs outside ... since I have to ... I have made Duke a 'cloth house' with canvas ... tarp on top. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Well ... I think I've gotten Duke's kennel as homey and cozy as possible.  I never wanted to keep a dog outside ... never.

We live in a small house ... and we have 2 more spoiled Pups who wouldn't tolerate Duke to live inside.  So ... I've never kept a dog outside ... and I worry for him.  I can't bear the idea of him getting cold again.  I still have images of him in my mind frozen to the ground ... not being able to get up. 

The heavy-ass chain around his neck was frozen ... it was also ... tangled around the trees, stumps.  Duke didn't have a chance in H...... of getting into his dog house.  He had to lay there until someone came to help him.

Skip and I had become Duke's guardian angels for almost 2 months when the ice storm hit here.  No one could drive on the roads for at least 3 days around here.  The man who owned Duke didn't come for a week.

  

Skip and I walked in the ice to Duke ... carrying food, fresh water in jugs for him for several days.  I cried a lot of tears for Duke ... more than anyone knows.

Finally one day the owner was there ... he told us we could have the dog or find him a home ... he wasn't coming back.  We didn't have the money to purchase a kennel, doghouse and such ... my Facebook Friends sent money to help me help Duke.

I have been covering Duke's kennel ... we put a thick-quilted waterproof/windproof covering around his doghouse.  His doghouse is wrapped, tucked in that big cover!  [em]happy[/em]

Now ... Duke is the dog in the cloth house!  [em]happy[/em]

Note by this Author:  

I think now ... I can relax more now that I have Duke all 'tucked in' for the coming winter weather this week.  During the days I can roll the front curtain up so, he can see all the comings .... goings of Kissy, Camie our other 2 Pups, and Skip and I.

I study his kennel everyday to see what else I can do to make sure he doesn't have to feel the cold.  I wish he could be inside with us ... it bothers me when I'm warm in the house ... he isn't.  I feel all dogs should be inside Pups, cared for like children ... loved, being near their humans.  They need that.

Photo/true story owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Tears in My Coffee

Note:  I'm sharing my story from MyLot.com I wrote this morning.

Duke ... this precious face has my Heart.  Can you see his teardrop?  This was when we brought him home from Hell on January 17, 2017.  Do dogs cry?  

When you love an animal you discover it's like loving a child. They are so innocent, precious ... depend on you to love, not hurt them. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Tears freely flow like water from the tap ... pure, pure Love in every one.  I don't cry easily ... only when I love with my very Heart.

I've been thinking of the beautiful dog we rescued recently.  Our Friends helped us to raise money to purchase him a kennel, doghouse, soft cedar shavings, food, etc.  He has a safe space all his own.

I've worked hard to make it all weatherproof as possible for him.  I have created a neat looking kennel with canvas, tarp covering the top, and sides ... on the front I made a roll-up/down curtain to use at any moment.

We wrapped his new doghouse in a black, thick quilted, waterproof/windproof covering ... he can nudge the flap to go inside ... it falls back down to keep the winter air out.

We go out to him all through the day ... make sure his kennel is spotless.  Make sure his food, water is fine.  We sit on his doghouse beside him when he jumps up to be closer to our faces to give us sweet kisses.

We talk to this beautiful dog named Duke.  He only knows love, kindness from our hands as we rub his head, back.  Skip and I talk to him, play with him.

While we do that we see that his nails need to be trimmed.  We feel his shots need to be updated.  We see these things and for now, can't get them done.  We are on a limited income.

I've been overwhelmed with many thoughts. Thoughts about him getting cold when the weather turns to freezing again ... this weekend it's going to.  Thoughts about him having to live in a smaller space when we wish he could live inside.  We treat our Pups inside like children.

Our Pups inside have their own pet door, fenced-in yard.  They get to lay down beside us, touch us for comfort ... love.  Duke, the Pup we just rescued ... can't.  I think of him outside all the time.  Sadly, our Pups inside wouldn't tolerate another dog ... that's the only reason Duke has to live outside in his kennel.

I can't bear the idea of Duke being cold when we are inside ... warm.  I'm afraid he will want to run, play ... can't.  I worry, worry all the time.  He has the best of care when it comes to his food, water, clean kennel, love from us.  Having an outside pet requires so much more.

I've told Skip the only way I can let go of Duke to go to another home is if the person has only one dog ... that's Duke.  If they have the money we don't have to afford his shots, checkups, nails trimmed and such.  Has a place to run, play safely.  In other words ... so much more than we can give him.  You know ... like a child ... you want so much for your children.  Duke isn't any different.

It may be possible that Duke can get that kind of love, home.  The kind of home we want for him.  Even knowing that ... tears fall in my coffee cup as I drink it.  Tears of pure love for a dog named Duke who deserves a good life. I would have to have a promise signed by anyone if I let go of Duke ... they would have to promise to give him back to us if they decided not to keep him.  More tears in my coffee ....




Note from this Author:


Story/photo written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  I couldn't go back to sleep this morning for worrying.  So, I got up to write my worry as I drank my coffee ... I realized I was crying and my tears flowed into my cup.

Go Toward the Light

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

If I see darkness I look for light. If I see light I go toward it. I'm afraid of darkness ... sometimes bad things are there. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Today has been so much nicer for me ... the sunshine came out. I have to admit I am a sunshine girl. I don't mind a cloudy day ... just not a lot of cloudy days.

Skip and I were at BoJangles one day some time ago for tea. It had been raining for several days. My attention kept being drawing to the left just outside the restaurant ... you know ... in the area you walk in just before coming into the restaurant.

There were lights burning there. The reflections of the light on the glass kept making me feel the sunshine was out. When I looked directly towards the lights ... I would feel surprise I was looking at lights burning ... not sunshine.  It made my Heart feel so happy!

I told Skip I needed lights at home like that to make me feel the sunshine was out when it was raining outside. I immediately feel better ... brighter inside. Lights ... light make me happy.

I know when it's time for me to lay down ... take my last breath ... go into the darkness ... when I see the light I will go toward it quickly.

Note by this Author:

I'm definitely a sunshine girl. I am one of those who need light to feel good. I really need to get a light one day to use when the days are cloudy. I'm sad to say that sometimes, cloudy days affect me in a negative way when normally I am a positive person.

Photo, true story owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Mission Accomplished ... Photos I Didn't Show Before

Mission Accomplished ... Photos I Didn't Show Before (Come see on my Facebook lots of photos ... Facebook.com/grannygee )

I'll never understand why ... people do the things they do ... even myself. I try to learn as hard, fast as I can so I never make a person, animal suffer. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Can you tell I've been on a mission ... a mission to save Duke?

All I have done is to talk, think 'Duke' for over the past 2 months when I discovered the dog on the hill wasn't 'just laying there' because he wanted to.

Thank God I looked closer ... it took all summer walking by him, speaking to him. He never barked at me ... making me notice him more.

I can't say, remember exactly what drew my attention to make me know something was wrong ... something to make me know I had to step in to care for Duke ... be his guardian angel.

I talked to Skip ... we both became Duke's guardian angel. We found that when he 'was just laying there' ... he was tangled up in the stumps, trees ... he couldn't get to his house. 

We began to study what was going on with Duke ... realized Duke was left alone for days at a time. Duke wasn't fed everyday ... nor had fresh water everyday. His bucket was green to the bottom inside.

We realized Duke had to lay trapped all those days waiting. Waiting for whoever to come along ... to untangle him so, he could go to his old dog house out of the weather.

Duke was on a heavy chain around his neck. Can you imagine wearing a heavy chain? How about being frozen close to the ground by your chain ... waiting. Skip and I checked on, fed, cared for Duke all through each day ... and after dark to make sure he was in his house. As long as we didn't see him ... we knew he was safe for the night ... we prayed so. We wouldn't be back until the morning.

He became my mission. I didn't know how I would do it ... but, I meant for Duke to get a good, loving forever home. A home where he would be important ... special. A home where he mattered.

With my Friends' help ... I can say ... Mission accomplished. If it weren't for you all ... I don't know what would have happened to Duke because things were changing drastically in his situation. I knew we had to rescue him from an even worse life.

I didn't know which direction to go in ... when my Friends helped me ... a miracle happened. You all have witnessed it unfolding on my Facebook, my Blog ... one of my writing sites. Thank you to you all know who ... have been there for me ... helping me to help Duke.

Thank you to all who kept us in your prayers to make it possible to get Duke away from where he was to where he was wanted. I strongly believe in prayer ... in my lifetime I have seen many miracles happen when people begin to pray. I'm honored, I appreciate when prayers come my way. <3

I will slow down now ... not be so intense with all the photos, videos, writing. I think I can relax now ... breathe deep sighs of relief. Duke is safe ... in a good forever home (I would only let the best people give him a forever home ... I don't see that happening ... Skip said it would take Jesus or Moses to give him a home before I would let him go ... he's right :)

Mission Accomplished.

Note by this Author: Now ... I will relax, not let all my stories be about Duke ... our newest member of the family. We rescued him ... and we won't look back unless needed to. I may write about him in the future. For now ... I am still taking sighs of relief ... and thinking ... mission accomplished. I'm so grateful.

If I Were a Dog

Note:  I am sharing my true story from my writing site ... MyLot.com ... here on my Blog.

Duke ... our beloved rescue Pup ... we brought him home January 17, 2017.

If I Were A Dog ...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Treat living beings, animals good ... because when you treat them good ... good comes back to you. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

A new chain link kennel!  What would make me comfortable living in a kennel?  Soft cedar shavings so my feet won't touch the cold ground.  To walk on something besides wet grass, wet dirt ... stepping in my own waste messing up the inside where I sleep.   

What would make me happy, cozy living in my new doghouse?  Thick, soft cedar shavings and several soft, blankets to snuggle down in to stay warm.

A nice thick, quilted, waterproof, windproof covering for my new doghouse!  Insulation to make sure I feel comforted, safe in my new home.  My house wrapped in this wonderful covering all tucked under my doghouse ... no wind can blow in at all.  I can go through the flap opening into my house ... closing behind me.  Softness on my body ... darkness where I can be at peace.  Where I can be warm.

Looking at my bucket of fresh, clean, clear water. Oh, the taste of good water ... no worry of knocking it over trying to scratch, claw to get inside my house.  No more heavy-ass chain catching my bucket, turning it over ... all my green water seeping into the ground. 

I had been drinking green water for so long ... sometimes, no water when I became tangled on the trees, roots ... how did I know that I would become tangled ... I'm just a dog.  

Oh how nice it feels to walk into my doghouse ... thick, soft cedar shavings spilling out into my yard ... thick shavings all around my house.  How good my feet feel to be warm ... away from the cold ground.

My food in a heavy container that holds my bowl secure ... the wind won't blow my food away in a tinfoil pan like before.  Eating food that hasn't been soaked in the rain ... soured because of being wet for many hours.  Days before someone comes to give me more food ... poured on top of the sour food.  Oh my ... my food is good, never wet, sour ... now.

She comes to feed me every morning giving me a bowl with soft, chopped up egg and 2 capsules of fish oil.  I love licking, eating my egg.  She fills my stainless steel bowl full of dry food in the heavy container (it used to be for a Christmas tree ... now, turned into a perfect bowl-holder for my food.  

My neck ... oh how much better my neck feels without the cold, heavy chain that was on it.  I don't have to be frozen to the ground anymore because of that chain ... I don't have to be tangled in the trees, stumps trying to claw my way to my old doghouse.  Not reaching it ... having to lay my head on the cold, wet ground ... on the ice, snow on the ground ... wait forever for someone to come find me, free me so I can finally get into my doghouse, try to get warm.

Walking on my soft, cedar shavings I don't have to step into my own waste that has accumulated over time ... until I had no choice but, to step in it.  She comes to clean my kennel each day ... checking all through the day to make sure I have food, chew bones, water ... fluffs my cedar shavings to keep all nice for me.  

Looking around me I see a heavy-duty tarp above my head to keep weather out ... my kennel is under the shed ... so, I'm double-protected.  Around my kennel is canvas to protect me from the cold winds, rain ... any winter weather.  On the front there is a canvas curtain that can be rolled up/down.  It stays up during nice weather ... if it rains, snows, wind blows ... it is rolled down.

'She' ... is 'Me' ... Gloria. I have been trying to think like a dog ... trying to think of all that would make me happy, comfortable if it were me in the kennel.  I have been trying to walk in Duke's paw-prints ... see, feel like a dog to make things good for him.  Duke is the dog I've just rescued.

I've worked hard to make Duke's new kennel, doghouse ... all the best I can for him.  Thank you always, forever to my Facebook Friends who cared, donated to make it possible for me to rescue Duke, get him here where he is safe, protected.  I couldn't have done it without all my Friends.

Walking around ... free from the heavy weight around my neck ... freedom at last from the Hell I've lived in.  I think I've died, gone to Heaven ... but, I'm still Alive to feel the comforts every dog should feel in their life.  Alive to feel love, caring ... never isolated anymore.  

No more rain falling on my head, body freezing me to death.  No more ice, snow to make my bed on until someone comes.  No more being alone where no one cares how I feel.  I'm glad she tries to think like me ... walk in my paw-prints.  I feel, reflect happiness I didn't know.  It feels good to be loved, important.

Duke has become very important ... he is one of the Bates Pups now ... he has joined the pack called The Pups.  

I hope one day he can live inside with us.  For now, unfortunately he can't ... Kissy and Camie and Duke would fight, there would be a tragedy.  So, I do the very best I can ... make Duke's outside home as cozy as possible.  

If I were a dog ... I feel I would be happy in my new home.  I've been trying to think like a dog to make it the best possible.  I will constantly try to see things through Duke's eyes ... constantly try to make his outside home as nice, cozy as possible.  Because that's what I would want someone to do ... if I were a dog.

Note by this Author:

I have been trying to think like a dog ... to see, feel ... sense what would make me warmer, cozy, comfortable.  Duke deserves the best life possible ... he has lived in pure Hell.  I went on a mission for 2 months to save him from that awful life ... a miracle happened that I thought impossible.  The man came to us to tell us we could take Duke or we could find him a home.

I panicked ... knowing we didn't have the extra money to buy him a fence, doghouse, extra food, so on I would need to bring him home.  I knew all had to be secure ... Duke is a Pit Bull ... I would have to make sure his fence was high enough to protect him ... but, how to get a fence, doghouse ... this was impossible for us at that time.  

Then ... I went online to my Friends, told them the situation.  I asked my Friends to help me help Duke.  The impossible happened ... they all donated to get Duke's kennel, doghouse and food, and what I needed to bring him home where he would be safe.

I can't ever thank them all enough for what they've done for me.  I can't ever forget them helping me when Skip was deathly ill last year.  I'll never-ever stop being so grateful, thankful to all of them from my Heart.

So ... in the back of my mind I will always be trying to think like a dog ... to make sure The Bates Pups are happy, cozy, comfortable.  I will make sure Duke doesn't ever suffer again.  

Here goes ... to me thinking like a dog.  I smile here ... I think everyone could try doing that ... it's very interesting trying to 'see things in a dog's way'.  

Maybe more people would realize that putting a dog on a chain is wrong ... maybe if people had a chain on their necks to experience how it feels ... they wouldn't ever do it again.

If a person can mistreat a living being ... be it human or animal ... they should have to experience the taste of what they dish out ... I really feel this way.  I'm a very good person even believing this.  If you can't take it ... don't dish it out ... because it will surely come back to you.  Be it jail ... or someone does it to you.  Do good things to people, animals ... good things will come back to you.

True story/photos written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.     

  

I Am Still Taking Sighs of Relief

Here is my story I wrote for today on MyLot ... I will share my stories here from there for my followers from time to time.

This is Duke ... the dog we have just rescued.  He was living in Hell ... no more.  We brought him home on January 17, 2017.  My Facebook Friends made it possible by helping me purchase him a chain link kennel, new dog house, etc.  I am forever grateful to them.

I can't believe the hell man puts animals through ... how can they not see the feelings in an animal's face? By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

JANUARY 20, 2017 7:17PM CST

For the past two days I have been very busy getting Duke's kennel weatherproof. We are expecting a lot of rain in the next few days. Duke is the beautiful, precious Pit Bull dog I rescued. Duke is the dog we just rescued. We want him to know only love, caring ... clean home, clean food bowls, fresh water the rest of his life. All he has known is a heavy chain around his neck ... stumps, trees to become tangle up in. He was isolated for days ... no one to come around him. Skip and I go into Duke's kennel to stay a while playing, talking, laughing while with him. I go out all through the day to him. His kennel is just across the driveway from Kissy, and Camie's fence (our other 2 Pups). He sees movement constantly and us coming, going through out each day. No more isolation for Duke. Duke's food was rained on in his old tin pan ... he had to eat sour food ... he drank green water. When he tangled up ... he laid there in the weather until someone came to him. Sometimes his owner didn't come back for several days at a time. The good thing is Duke is in a wonderful place now. I have his kennel weatherproof now. I have a curtain on the front of it that I can roll up/down. When the weather's bad I will roll it down ... when the weather is nice ... I'll roll it up and he can take in the sunshine. I never meant to have a 3rd Pup again. We really can't afford it. When we saw Duke being mistreated ... his awful life ... I went on a mission to save him. For two months I stressed over him ... and now ... he is safely here. My Facebook Friends helped me get him a chain link kennel fence, new doghouse, heavy-duty tarp, cedar shavings, food. I am forever grateful to them for helping me help Duke, get him away from that place. We live on a limited income and we wouldn't have had the money to get what we needed to bring him home. I'm emotional over how good they were to me to make it possible to bring Duke home ... rescue a beautiful, sweet dog who deserves a good life. Duke has been taking up a lot of my time lately. I'm so thankful to be this far in getting him settled into our life. We are all trying to settle down ... having a new Pup in our life. I've never had an outside Pup ... and have to now ... I will make sure Duke has the best life. This is what I've been doing with my time lately. For the past 2 months I've stressed over this precious dog ... it's taking time to get past that. I've been so used to going 4-5 times a day and after dark every night to check on him at the awful place he lived ... to make sure he wasn't tangled up in the dark. Now he is here safe and sound ... I'm still taking sighs of relief.

True story/photo written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

I'm Waiting ...

Doodle by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... sometimes our minds have many things on it ... sometimes, not.  My doodle shows many things at one time ... like this morning.  No words.

I'm Waiting ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee








A cup of coffee ... with lots of cream ... a keyboard ... soft, classical music.

I'm waiting ... I close my eyes, lean back in my comfortable desk chair ... breathe slowly, deeply.  I'm waiting ...

I hear the soft patter of feet coming up the hall behind me.  I hear another soft patter of feet coming up the hall ... the sound of the pet door as both Pups (Kissy and Camie) go outside into their fenced-in yard.

Soon ... I will hear the patter of my husband's (Skip) feet.  It's time to get up.

I smile with my eyes closed ... I'm still waiting.  Images, events fill my mind ... no one thing standing out.  Nothing comes to mind as I wait ... for words to flow from my fingertips.

I'm waiting ...






Sometimes when I want to write ... I have to wait for the words to come. Sometimes ... they don't. In this case I described the moment. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.








Note by this Author:

Sometimes ... writing is like this.  Nothing comes to mind ... same thing with drawing.  I'm certain it's the same way with any kind of creative process.  This morning while I was waiting to write about something ... nothing came ... so, I just wrote about the moment.

Photo/story owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

The Box Under the Light ...

Note:  I am sharing my story I wrote on MyLot.com here on my Blog:

My son, Tommy ... with his little son, Taban ...2008

The Box Under the Light ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee





I heard the soft music before I walked into the room of people.  I didn't want to look up knowing what I might see.  The music tugged at my Heart ... I became more emotional than I already was.  There were many people in the room ... the room where ....

I felt myself breathe hard for more air.  My face was wet from the river of tears that flowed down my cheeks like water running over rocks.  I was stone for my tears to flow over ... I had frozen inside.  I had became the walking dead ... to be dead ... all I had to do was to just simply ... die.

I did look up but, not to where a part of me was.  I couldn't bear to.  I could sense the light above that part of me ... on display.  

I became a leaf drifting where the wind, water blew me.  I was in an ocean of people ... I could feel their energy around me.  I let myself flow over that room ... I was here ... there.  No one blocked me ... I was free to flow anywhere there was an opening in the many people standing, walking, talking ... laughing in the room.

Once I looked up ... I could see Skip only for a moment standing with two of our friends, Mike and Nancy.  I was across the room ... just as the river flows ... I had flowed to the opposite side of the room.  I didn't know if I could ever cross the sea of people back to Skip.  I was gone.

I found myself sitting, talking to my son's aunt.  I felt caring, love from her.  I stayed there I'm sure because like a moth ... I was drawn to the warm light.  I wanted to get somewhere ... I was so far away.  I wanted to get to ...

I heard a small child crying, "Daddy!"  I saw people rush to pull a little boy off the box in the room.  The little boy wanted his daddy.  My Heart began to miss beats until I thought I would fall into the ocean of people ... grief, pain.  I became aware that's where I was trying to go to in that room ... to that box under the light.

I was in a dream ... nightmare.  I had been taken to the hospital the night before.  I was given an injection ... medicine.  To this day I've never remembered the medicine given to me.  Somehow it kept an invisible barrier between me and ... somehow ... I could talk and smile in my dream.  I don't know if I acted normal but, I felt I was hiding my ....... I never let anyone see me cry in public.

I floated across the room ... I floated forever just as a ship does when it sails across the world.  It took forever.  People spoke to me ... people looked at me ... not knowing I was a part of ... why they were there.  No one stopped me on my journey across that room ... I made it to the box under the light.

I stood there ... the water ran more freely now over my cheeks.  I stood there ... I had become a river of tears.  My water didn't dance merrily over the rocks singing the whole way ... I had become a silent river ... as my tears fell soaking my blouse.  I felt the coldness on my skin but, I didn't acknowledge it.  Nothing was as important as what lay in the box under the light.

I had come to my journey's end in that room.  I had arrived to why all the people were there.  My shoulders shook as I tried to hold myself up ... a part of my very life lay in that box ... I walked up to it.

My only child ... my son ... a part of me ... lay in the box under the light.  People had come to view him before he was cremated.  Skip had brought me there the day before ... I already knew what he looked like.  I already knew ... what my hand would find when touching his head.  I had forgotten until I reached out to touch my son's face.

I patted his head as I did when he was a little boy to comfort him telling him everything would be alright.  I patted his cheeks ... my tears fell onto his hair.  I didn't wipe them away.  My tears went with him into Heaven where he was.

I touched his hair, smoothed it down and felt ... remembered what it was about his hair I felt the day before.  A big scar ... stitches from the autopsy done on him.  I almost fainted as the darkness tried to take me over ... 

I put my small hands onto his large hands while patting them ... I was comforting him in death.  I never cried out loud ... no one heard me screaming in my soul ... screaming at the knowledge I would never see my son again.  Screaming so loudly in my mind ... my son really is dead.  I was in total shock, disbelief ... it couldn't be true.  I looked down into the box under the light ... oh my God, it was true.

I felt arms around me ... I was led away.  I must have stood there forever ... it was time to go.  I felt the air on my face ... somehow I was standing outside.  Skip told me to look up into the sky where everyone was staring.  I saw the most beautiful rainbow ... the beautiful colors I love so much.  I felt Tommy had made sure colors was there for me to comfort me.  I smiled through my tears.  Tommy!

Strangely ... when my mother died ... that evening we also, saw the most beautiful rainbow.  Two special rainbows ... two most special people in my my life.

I didn't want to leave ... I don't remember saying I didn't want to go.  Somehow ... I was in the vehicle ... on the way home.  I couldn't get back to the room ... to the box under the light.







No one knows the pure pain, grief of a mother who loses a part of herself, the most special part of herself ... her child. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.








Note by this Author:

When you read my grief, pain ... keep one thing in mind.  My son died 6 years ago.  I'm not 'wallowing in grief' ... I'm asking for sympathy, pity when I write.  I am keeping a promise I made when I began to write almost 6 years ago ... I will always write about grief, pain to share with people who want to know.  It may help them with others who are grieving, or themselves ... give insight.  

I write my true feelings without sugar-coating.  No one has to tell me to 'get over it ... it's time to move on ... so on, so on'.  I have done that ... I am at peace in my Heart.  I am alright.  I write what I know best ... and I know the ones who can't bear to read it ... can go on to brighter, happier stories to read.  

I write about real life ... be it happy or sad.  I am a river of words that will flow until the day I die.

True story ... my son, Tommy ... died May 29, 2010 on Memorial Day weekend on vacation.  He and his family had just arrived at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  

Tommy took his little 3 year old son by the hand ... they disappeared while everyone else went up to the rooms in the hotel to put their things away.  They were planning to stay for a week.

Before Tommy left on that vacation ... he had told Skip and I ... he was excited about changing his mind to go with his family to the beach.  He was looking forward to playing with his little son for the first time at the beach.  They barely made it in time ... Tommy collapsed on the soft sand ... died.  He was only 40 years old ... in perfect health.

An autopsy showed Tommy died from 3 blockages to his heart.  No one knew.

True story/photo written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee