Jumping Spiders ... I Call Them 'Kiddiddlehoppers'!

Jumping Spiders...  I Call Them 'Kiddiddlehoppers'!

By Linda Ivie (My 1st Cousin... she also, experienced 'all' I did, at our Grandma Alma, George's.  I am 'Faye' in this memory she wrote for me.  Thank-you, Linda, for sharing a memory that I can share with everyone.  Love,Gloria 'Faye'...)

These are my cousin's words; I didn't change them in any way:


I remember a cold winter morning where my cousin (Faye) and I were sleeping at grandmas house.  Our grandparents were in the other room, sleeping.  I had to get up to go to the bathroom, when I saw a large spider on the floor. 

I am afraid of spiders, so naturally I woke my cousin up to kill it.  We laid in bed, almost petrified with fear, because every time we moved, the spider arched up and acted like it was going to jump on us. 

We were at least 10 feet away and we both knew those little monsters were capable of jumping pretty far.  I remember throwing something at it, it attacked the object, I quickly made my escape to the bathroom. 

I don't remember how my cousin escaped, all I knew was that I had to go to the restroom before my bladder burst. 

My grandparents house always had hidden  monsters in one form or another.  To this day, I have such a fear of spiders. 

I can be sleeping, can almost sense something looking at me and I will open my eyes, and low and behold,  a spider is looking at me, waiting for my first move!

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Kiddlehoppers...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I am so happy to put Linda's story here.  It validates my stories of the 'kiddlehoppers'... she calls them 'jumping spiders'.  The proper name is 'katydid'... I never knew... I couldn't bear to think about them through the years.  I still 'run up with them'... I still have the same reaction... I freeze... until......................................................

Don't let me run up on one!  I can't take it!  Okay, okay... so, I 'freeze' in one spot... too terrified to move.  It stares me down... I stare it down.  It knows I'm afraid of it... it............. smiles at me!

I stand there, my eyes opened wide... I'm so scared.  How can I get out of this situation?  I feel as if I will faint; my breath's coming in shallow breaths.  

The damn thing takes a step toward me, I scream!  I back up... it jumps around toward me!  Cold chills run down my body, I'm going to faint!  

It jumps around in glee!  That fat, little round belly!  It looks like a little pink-fleshed man... standing there, looking up at me... with those... eyes; those 'knowing' eyes.  It's ... laughing an evil laugh!

It 'knows me'!  I know these things come from Hell... to try to get me!  Living at my Grandma Alma's house.. I 'knew the house was the portal to Hell... it sat over it ... guarding it!  

Hell 'sent things' constantly to keep the house in turmoil... to keep the 'hell-raising' atmosphere.  No one could 'raise hell' like my... family.  All the children ... lived it; I'm not the only one.  I'm not the only one with such scars.  I'm not the only one who still remembers the pain.

It's a good thing I come from a 'hell-raising family'... because I'm not going to take any .......... for long.  Just long enough to think my way out of it!  There's going to be trouble... just keep me cornered 'long enough'... 'I'm about to become Hell... I can show you how to raise hell'!  

I never show that side to anyone... I don't encounter situations to make 'it come out'.... but... I promise you, it's 'there'... always waiting.  It was born 'in me'.... It's part of my family heritage... the ability to 'raise hell'.  

I don't like that 'it's there'... but, I'm glad in a sense... for those times someone tries to 'run over me'.  I ... can hold my ground... while smiling a sweet smile, using a soft voice.  But... I'm just before... raising hell, if pushed.  No one likes me, then... I can't bear myself, then.  That's because... I mean to win.  I will.  

I felt a 'roar' inside my body... it was rushing to the surface.  All hell was going to break loose!  It was my little fighting spirit rushing to save me.  I was going to whip that kiddlehopper's ass!  One of us had to go!  There's not enough room for the both of us!  

A little girl, and a big-ass kiddlehopper stood there, locked in a gaze.  The kiddlehopper's not afraid of her... why, she's just a little girl.  It begins to see the 'red in her eyes'... it began to realize that was a .... bad sign.  It began to feel fear.

It began to bluff her; it jumped toward her.  She screamed!  He got his confidence back!  Jump, jump, jump!  It jumped around, rushed at her trying to get on her bare feet.  The little girl was jumping, trying to stay away from it!  Until.....

She stepped forward... calmly took her bare foot.... and crushed its little ass!  That fighting spirit was learning to come out in that little girl... down there at Grandma Alma, and George's.  She stood there, smiled a sweet little smile, said in a soft voice, 'I got your ass'!

You Are Most Perfect For... Me

You Are Most Perfect For... Me
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Best Friends, Husband, Soul Mate... my hero, Skip.  A younger Granny Gee and Skip...

I'm always, always glad to see you.  You are the only person I can be with... around... all the time.  I've never been bored by you, tired... of you.  Who are you?

A person who is kind; the second kindest man I've ever known.  I knew the most kindest as a little girl.  His name was George Harris.  He was the only grandfather I ever knew in my life.  He was my step-grandfather.  His love was like his smile... it reached his eyes... his sightless eyes.

George was blind, yet... he could 'see'.  He 'could see a person', sense if they were good, honest.  He 'could see' to do everything... because he wanted to do everything.  George never sat around 'feeling sorry for himself'... George had a life.  Each day he got up, carried out his responsibilities.

George was my Grandma Alma's husband, best friend, and soul mate.  He loved her dearly; she loved him back the same way.  Of course... they had some very 'loud' fusses... they'd tell each off in a heartbeat.

Anyone close by... would sit, listen... and possibly put a hand over their mouth in surprise at what would come out of their mouths!  Of course... it could be quite comical.  Why... I 'learned my best words... my little sayings... from them'!  I know... some things to say!  How could I not know?  Everyone for a mile away... could hear them.  :)))

I loved them with my very heart.  They only had each other... 'it was them against the world'.  They were together almost every minute of their married life.  They could fuss each other out... love each other so much... in the next minute.  Don't let anyone come in there to start something with the other... because the other would instantly  begin to protect....

Grandma Alma could swing a mean glass of water on someone.  She'd do it in a minute.  She was paralyzed, couldn't walk.  She could use one hand, one leg.  Her mind was as sharp as any knife in a drawer.

She was very intelligent.  Always... she tried to teach 'us kids' things... sometimes, we would sit on the floor cross-legged to listen to her talk, tell stories.

My Grandma Alma was a wonderful person... I only regret I couldn't have appreciated her... while being an adult.  I think she'd been proud at how I turned out to be ... after all I've experienced in my life.  I think she'd been so proud that I learned from all the 'bad' in my life.

I feel sad when I think of her, George.  Life is sad.  Think about it for a moment... as children, we love people who meant so much to us, yet... we didn't know all we could have done to make a positive difference in their life.

When we grow up... we grow up remembering what 'they told us we would remember'.  Such as, when 'I'm dead and gone, you are going to wish you had listened to me;  you are going to miss me; you are going to wish you'd treated me better'.

As children, we can't understand that people aren't going to be there, always... for us.  As a child, I didn't know death was more than what my first memory was.  My memory of death was one shrouded in mystery... the man across the road died.

I vaguely remember as that little girl, my mother and her sisters talking quietly... saying they were going across the street.  Mr 'so and so' had died... oh no, children can't go.

I watched them slip quietly across the street as I stood there... darkness, the sun quit shining... whatever dying was... one had to whisper quietly about it... and children couldn't know about it.

That was my first impression of death... quietness, darkness... the sun quits shining.  Fear........

Grandma Alma... George.  I think about them often.  'Now'... I could appreciate you both, so much more than when I was a child.  I know I caused you both to yell a lot at me, as well as the others.

I was a mean little girl... I just know I was.  I 'was taught by the best'....... with other children, I fought to hold my ground.  With adults... I was afraid of them... when they became mad... I knew I was going to get 'what for'...

I knew a lot of 'good, cuss words'... and if another child made me angry... they knew them, too!  We would sound like... Grandma Alma, and George!

There's one thing that has stuck out through time... my Grandma Alma always said it to George, when she became angry.  Everyone would be off in a distance listening... they never knew it.  When she'd become mad... she'd yell at him, saying 'you are a he-man, you are nothing but, a 'he-man'!

What that meant, I'm not sure.  But... it was the 'perfect button for her to push'... because George would 'blow up'!  The fight was on!  They never knew they entertained when they had a fuss.  The children would giggle... the adults would grin a 'knowing' smile.

They were the only ones who could 'fight, fuss'... make others laugh.  When 'the others, themselves'... fought... the world would become a very scary place.  They would come to the 'arena' in front of Grandma Alma, George... and 'fight like hell' in front of them.  Blood was drawn, flesh was pounded... somebody was going to get hurt.  Somebody was going to... know who was boss!

No matter what... this little girl grew up loving those... hell-raisers.  Loved them with her very heart.  Learned as she grew older... in that family... it wasn't possible to form a lasting relationship.  Growing older, she learned it was part of the 'family heritage'... it wasn't possible.

George... was the kindest man I ever knew, until... I met Skip.  Like my Grandma Alma... I found my best friend, my soul mate, and my hero in this life.  That doesn't happen a lot... I was fortunate.  God was good to me... to give me someone who loved me... as much as I loved... him.

Life with Skip has been full of many unusual things.  We both traveled many paths in Life... a lot we learned weren't the paths we wanted to be on.  Those paths we had all the material wealth, luxuries we wanted... people thought we were the greatest.

Through time, as we learned from the paths we wanted to be on, travel now... we began to not have so much.  People like us... but, not for what we have 'now'.  I think because they see 'real people' now, in place of what we wanted to project many years ago.

Also, there are people who are glad we no longer have anything.  So, that tells you a lot about them.  A lot of them don't, either.  Jealousy, greed... makes people 'your best friends'... you become the worse if you no longer 'have it to give'...

The way I see it... it really feels good 'to not keep up the pretense of being something ... you never were to begin with... never will be ... no matter what'.  I remember my Mom always telling me something so true (I may get it backwards... I do that!  But, you'll know what I mean! :))).  She'd always say, "Faye, don't fly so high that you can't fall"...

I love being a 'private' person.  I like myself... I don't know a lot of people in my 'everyday' life like me.  I know that I'm 'nobody' to others... but, I really am to myself.  I don't pretend to be something I'm surely not.  I like being with 'me'... I can entertain myself with drawing, computer, reading, playing with my Pups... it's seldom I get lonely.  Of course, with all of you who follow me, are my friends... I'm never alone.  I have Skip, our Pups... that's my world; my life.

I do wish for one thing not only for myself... but, what I could do for people who 'need'... that is to have a lot of money.  I know money is supposed to be the 'root of all evil', 'bad'... but, it's not when you are happy with it, and making a 'good' difference everywhere you go in life.  I do 'know' that for sure... I have lived it in my life... I did make a difference.  I wish to be able to do that again.

When I do have extra to give, sometimes even... if I don't have extra to give... I do it from my very heart.  I feel it deeply from caring with my very heart.

When people are younger... life is an illusion of sorts.  They want to project that they 'are more than what they actually are'.  I watch the same old pattern play out now... in the generation behind me.  I understand it... 'everyone wants to be somebody... sometimes, they are on the wrong path'... to really be.  People 'see through them'... why?  They have been there... done that.

The one common thing they want to project is... that they are rich, have so much... so, others can think 'they are somebody'.  Day by day, fancy words they don't normally use (it tells on one)... bragging about this, that..... someone is always around who 'knows better'......

Then... one day they 'know'... they know that this life is not about 'what one has'... it's about love, caring for others.  Being rich is a good thing because it does make possible to have all you desire... it also, makes possible to make others happy, too.  That's strictly my 'Gloria Opinion'.

One doesn't have to brag about in words they aren't used to saying ... trying to appear to be 'more' than what they are.  Instead of bragging... do something.

I promise when you do something for another... see such appreciation, gratefulness... you'll feel a happiness you can't get from anything else.  I promise you.

Make even a 'tiny dream' come true for a child... an adult you hear wishing for this, that.  Whenever I get extra money... I listen, watch the whole time.  I 'already know the amount' I can let go of... to do something, even small... to make another person smile, happy.

Guess what?  Good things... do... come back to you in the most unexpected ways.  Everything goes in a cycle... it 'all comes back to you'.

Just think... you don't want 'a bad thing to travel full-circle back to you'.  It's like planting a garden... if you plant good seeds, tend your garden... it's going to be wonderful seeing what comes up next!  Think of your words... like seeds.  If they are 'bad toward others'... they are going to 'sprout up later', haunt you.

Of course, we know I'm not perfect... not even anywhere to being perfect.  I'm going to say, do things sometimes just like anybody else.  I am old enough to 'try not to'... to 'know better'.

Once in a while... I'm going to be human.  It's my only excuse if I 'misbehave badly'.  I try not to... but, I 'feel things deeply'... and I'm pretty much used to expressing what I really think.  When I do ... I try to do it in the kindest way.

I don't like to hurt others... but, if I'm pushed in a 'bad' way... then, trouble is sure to follow.  Especially ... after the number '3'.  The 3rd time... I'm holding my ground.  :)))  I bet most people are... the same way.  Especially people everyone thinks 'are so nice... I can do them any old way... they are too nice to not take it'.... :)))

Back to best friends, soul mates, heroes.  All of my readers, followers, fans... know instantly 'who' is mine.  For those who are just learning, it's my husband, Skip.  He is my whole life... he and our Pups are the only family I have... and the only relationships that I 'know' is forever, to the end.

We don't agree all the time... much of the time we do.  When we don't agree, we tell each other 'why'.  By the time, we get it talked out, the other 'sees why'... nine out of ten times... we end up agreeing.  :)))  Of course... we are going to have our differences... once in a while.

One difference being... when we cook-out on the grill.  Our steaks are going to be different.  He is going to want his more medium-rare... mine is going to be well-done.  He doesn't like garlic... I love garlic!  We cook together... he watches his.......... I watch mine!  :)))

My best friend, my hero... my soul mate... I'm always, always glad to see... you.  I love you, Skip.  You are 'most perfect for me'... :)))

Have You Ever Thought About It?

Have You Ever Thought About It?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I've been reading about ... aspartame.  What I've read has alarmed me more... now, than ever.

Skip and I both, agreed to quit using artificial sweeteners.  I have a feeling we'll both see a marked improvement.  We both have some issues I feel are related to aspartame.

Tonight, I learned for the first time, there is a possible connection between aspartame and... non-Hodgkins lymphoma and luekemia!  I felt sick to my stomach when I read that...

In fact, I felt sick at a lot I read... that wasn't 'new' news to me.  It's strange how we can read, absorb knowledge through the years... yet, we don't act on it to 'save ourselves'.  To just help ... ourselves.

I do know that through the past several years I have drank more diet sodas than, I've ever drank in my life.  I've noticed some changes... Hopefully, in another week or so, there will be a huge difference.

I have a feeling after all the researching I've done all evening... there will be a positive difference.

Have you ever Googled 'aspartame'?  Just for the heck of it... Google it.  You wouldn't believe the 'symptoms' of aspartame poisoning.  I 'knew'... but, I didn't know... but, I really knew.  I guess it's time to pay attention...

This is what I've had on my mind tonight.  I am disturbed by what I've read... I think about how we 'still do things' to hurt ourselves, knowingly.

Everybody else does it... so, we aren't alone.  Misery loves company... If it hurts me, it hurts everyone else... have you ever thought about it?

I'm Never Alone...

I'm Never Alone...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I sit with my back to the door
Not a big deal, but... it really is
I don't worry about what's behind me
Doesn't matter if it's day or night

I am thankful I don't have to be afraid
If ever I'm alone
God has given me three angels
Who guard me with their life

If anything moves outside, or makes a sound
My three angels go instantly on guard
Running through the pet door
Ready to confront whatever moves, makes a sound

How could I live without them
I can't... I take the best care of my angels
By feeding them good food, giving them fresh water to drink
They don't sleep on the cold, hard ground

My Pups sleep where I do, laying on the king-size bed
All around us... we make sure they have 'plenty of room'
We sleep on the very edge, so... they can be comfortable
Never mind... sometimes, we fall to the floor!

That's alright... we just get back up
Go climb on the bed once again, only to find
There's no room left for one of us
So, off to the couch in the living room... one of us goes!

With a smile on one of our faces, we grab a pillow, blanket
Get comfortable on that big, soft couch
To get a good night's sleep
One of us who gets on the couch... never ... minds at all!

Let the three angels sleep, they are watching over us all the time
Sleep on a big, soft, giant bed
You deserve the very best, because you watch over us
So... I don't have to worry, be afraid... I'm never alone

Camie's Rescue and Adoption Story | PetMeds.org

Camie's Rescue and Adoption Story | PetMeds.org    Camie, the little puppy I rescued, is featured on PetMeds.org.  Gloria    

Thank-you for continuing to donate to her medical care at Louisburg Veterinary Clinic, Louisburg, NC.  Her vet is Dr. David Fontenot... 919-496-2638. 

Spiders, Snakes, Poisonous Leaves... It's A Jungle Out There

Spiders, Snakes, Poisonous Leaves... It's A Jungle Out There
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

A mind wanders in space

Visting the past, looking to the future

Experiencing emotions along the way

Memory of a mother who cried for her
In her last moments of life
Crying out for her, saying please help me

The mind can't bear to linger here
It travels to another time
Deep, deep into the past to a time

When a man held a child by her ankles
Hanging in the air, as he spanked her
Putting her down to the floor, left her crying

Shut up, I said... you had better stop crying
Or, I'll give you something to cry about
Beat you like a red-headed step-child

The mind sees pain in a little girl's eyes
When just before, there was a smile
Times like these, took all trust... smiles away

The little girl grew up, careful who to trust
The few people she loved in her life
She could count on both hands, and one more

Began to go, one after the other
Strange enough, they all didn't go in natural deaths
Grief filled the woman's heart, she knew...

Greed, illicit love affairs, drugs, tragedy woven together
In strange twists, turns of the colored threads
Making a life blanket with unusual patterns

Some areas too dark to explore
One didn't want to see what'd they would find
The pain would be too much

Other areas happy, colorful and bright
Sadly... the colorful areas were just sprinkled
Here and there... never lasting long

The mind wanders here, there
It can't bear what it encounters
It just doesn't do... to let this mind wander

It can never know what it'll travel to
So, let it stay here in the present
Where ... for the moment, it doesn't feel pain

The mind is like throwing a lasso
No telling the memory it'll bring back
One has to be prepared to take the pain

Because nine out of ten times
That's what it'll bring back
There are more dark areas than bright

In the blanket of life... of time
Worn areas... many threads broken
From a family who could never bond

Threads that can ever be rewoven
There are none strong enough
Sadly, each generation learns the hard way

Learns through pain, grief that nothing lasts long
No relationship can ever go the distance
No matter how much love, caring one invests

Black widows with hour glasses of red
Snakes with eyes green with envy
Mouths like poison ivy... every word a leaf

Spiders, snakes, and poisonous leaves
Will get each family member in the long run
Turn each into a non-trusting soul

Making each think the other is bad
When some times... there might be a person good
How would anyone know, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack

Some quit in time... too much pain
Can't take no more, no matter what
Someone's going to hate you, stab you in the back

Love from a distance, too much pain in the past
It's easy to run for safety, anytime something doesn't feel right
Don't get too close to me... I can't take the pain... I know love can't last

Not in a family who destroys all good
Spiders, snakes, poisonous leaves
Make one travel roads where there's 'family'... protecting oneself

Love from a distance... wave from far away
Wishful thinking ... no, let it go... it can never be
Spiders, snakes, and poisonous leaves... it's a jungle 'out there'

Please, I Don't Want To Hurt Anymore...

Please, I Don't Want To Hurt Anymore...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I sit here tonight thinking of you
I can hardly see for the tears that fill my eyes
Grief fills my heart, pain fills my soul

I've tried to put my grief away
Just as one packs things away in a box
To store up in the attic until... one day

I can't seem to stay away, I keep going back
To bring my box of grief back down
For me to open... because... I can't forget you, Son



There goes that old, familiar sensation
In the bottom of my stomach
The one of birds trapped in a cage

Their wings flutter wildly to escape
Grief, pure grief is like that
Panic, pain mixed together

Panic that when I let myself think
That you really have gone away
Oh God... the pain really hurts so bad

Tommy, I miss you with my very heart
I cry to heaven... it does no good
Cry all I want... won't bring you back

Sometimes, I wonder why
You were taken away at such a young age
Parents are supposed to be the first to go

I'm left here... my only child is gone
Can you imagine how it feels, how it hurts
No... you think you can, but... you don't

You never will... unless you lose a child
Only then, can you possibly understand
The pain is forever... it never goes away

Once again, I thought the pain was tucked away
But, I see... that I have to tuck myself along with it
I'm going to bed now... sleep it away

I pray that when I wake
That the pain won't wake when I do
Please give me peace, Lord... please, I don't want to hurt anymore

I Love You, Son... I Miss You

I Love You, Son... I Miss You
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

This photo is the last photo taken of Tommy just several hours before he collapsed on the beach playing with his little son... he died on that beach on May 29, 2010... Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  My son, my only child.  No one knew Tommy was sick... he died of a heart attack at the age of 40.  I still can't believe he's gone... I've never known such pain in my life as I have ... since my child died.


Today, I thought of you
I felt a familiar pain in my heart
One that made me sad to my very soul

Disbelief... even now, that you are gone
For a moment, I felt you here
I miss you, son... it hurts so bad

Burning tears filled my eyes
I felt a heaviness in my chest
Emotion welled up inside me

Tommy... I can't believe you are gone
You... who was such a vibrant person
With your personality so... so alive!

I've been occupied for the past month, or so
With a little puppy I rescued
Trying to get her well, and make her life good

That I didn't let myself think of you
Now... my heart wants to cry tonight
I miss you, son... I miss you

I felt this grief deep inside today
When we talked about Big Spring, Texas
All of us meeting there on the big rigs

The happiness I felt to see you so far
Away from home... you going one way
We going the other way

This really is a small world I learned
When we never knew where the other
Would be... we'd meet in California, and different states

It was wonderful, son
The happiness I felt was like an eagle soaring in the sky
My smile like the sunshine that lit the world

We were talking about meeting you all over this country
In every state... traveling at the same times
Those were the 'good old days', son

I look back through time
I never saw a warning sign
That you were going to go away

Never to be able to come back
I just can't believe you are gone
I'm never going to see you again

Grief... yes, grief is what I'm feeling tonight
I 'knew' it was there today
When we spoke of you

I felt that familiar pain
Burning tears in my eyes
A heaviness in my heart

I love and miss you, son
It hurts so bad
Now... it's time for me to pretend

That I'm past the pain of losing my only child
So, no one will know I cry for you
Put a smile on my face... everything is once again... alright

The light went on, exposing my grief
Now... it's time to turn it off
Let it hide in darkness... once again... until the next time

If I don't let go of it now
I could get caught up in losing myself again
To fight to get back to where I am, now

A mental soft-colored blanket, thick and soft
Just placed itself over the pain
To tuck it in, let it rest in peace for as long as possible

Tuck it in like a child... my child
Put my hand on his head to brush his hair back
Kiss his forehead gently, say... I love you, son, I miss you

Camie's Rescue and Adoption Story | PetMeds.org

Camie's Rescue and Adoption Story | PetMeds.org

Precious Camo.. Camie's story has been featured on PetMeds.org.... Go to:
http://www.petmeds.org/petmeds-spotlight/camies-rescue-and-adoption-story/
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As For The Bad News...

As For The Bad News...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


A young Granny Gee... Gloria Faye Brown Bates

From a distance a lone figure sat on a rock
The breeze teased her curly, blonde hair
Strands waved happily in the wind

As he got closer, he could see her smile
Eyes sparkling bright green
Happiness in colors were about her

Pink lips parted to show her teeth
An oyster opens up
To show its pearly whites

He stopped to hold the magic moment
For as long as he could
It's rare to see happiness from her... like this

She laughed aloud seeing his expression
It tinkled on the air... the sound of delicate glass
Soft-colored, pastel glass

He wished this moment could last forever
Alas, it can't... nothing lasts forever
There has to be good... and bad

I have news for you, good ...and bad
The good is... you've won the lottery
The bad is... half of it is.. mine

He became the one smiling
Smiling with pure happiness
Not only was she the winner... he was, too

I want to borrow your half, please...
He told her in low, sweet... persuasive voice
I will double our money, more for you... more for me

She stood there in shock as her eyes became clear
Instead of her lover standing there... a stranger stood
She didn't know this man any longer

He would take from her... her life's winnings
Knowing without that... her dreams were dead
No love there...anymore... he took it all from her

As he stood there, smiling a smile that once won her heart
She, also, had some news for him... both good and bad
You see, the ticket was only in my name

So, who is the winner 'now', she asked
You don't get half, nor get to double 'our' money
It's mine... and now, it's time for my dreams to come true

Her pink lips parted back into a smile
Revealing her pearly whites
Her eyes sparkled green, her laughter tinkled in the air

He thought her moment of happiness
Would last forever...
Because of his greed... he was the one who frowned

He knew he would have never 'doubled' their money
Once in his possession, it was his to keep
Flee, he would... to a far away place

He would have lived his dream
But, now... he got news both good... bad
He wasn't happy at all

The good news was... he was free to leave this very moment
While he could... if he didn't
He was going to find out the ... bad news he didn't want to know

He turned, ran like hell... back up the hill he came down
Forever he would be gone, he treasured his freedom
He'd tried to scam this girl

By trying to take all her money
The good news was... the money was all hers
The bad news was... there was none

She laughed all the way to the bank
Money in hand, skipping all the way
To make all her dreams come true... and then, some

He'd failed the test she put before him
She told him his name was on the ticket that won
In reality, it never was

If he'd passed the test as she hoped he would
He'd be smiling ear to ear now
Instead of... on the run

So, the good news is she won a lot of money
Swept the trash out of her life quickly
As for the bad news... there was... none

I'm Just Sorry I Drove By Today... And Couldn't Help

I'm Just Sorry I Drove By Today... And Couldn't Help
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I looked to the left where I could see many things... something told me that it would be interesting to look at ... when I got closer.

Sure enough, it was. I could see many things... my eyes tried to make sense of what I was seeing.

I could see the tall back of chairs sticking up from all the 'jumble' I was seeing. Piles of clothing were on the seats, on various pieces of furniture. What in the world am I seeing?

A cheap looking dining table sat close by. A coffee table had been put on the seat of the couch. So much 'stuff' that my eyes didn't have time to identify as I drove by. I did see some signs nailed up on the posts of the porch... two to be exact. I saw the words on one poster.... 'No Trespassing'.

It dawned on me... what I'm seeing is an... eviction. Some poor family has been evicted from their home. Someone had gone into their house... went through their things... and took all ... outside.

I know their things probably weren't handled gently at all. Why? Because ... probably the people who took their things outside... thought they were 'trash' now. They may have thought 'the poor bas____' have been thrown out onto the street, now.

They probably got what was coming to them. We all know that if you can't pay your rent, your bills... you are going to be kicked out... not only that your utilities are going to shut off.

I drove by with a sadness in my heart. I thought about the family who would be coming home this evening. My heart went out to them. Not only would they find all their belongings on the front lawn... they would be humiliated in front of the neighbors, and people they knew.

How sad is that? What will they do, I wondered? Where will they go? Who will care about them... help them?

I drove up the street, deep in thought. The scene touched my heart. Suppose children came home there... got off a school bus? Can you imagine the ridicule, taunts the other kids would throw at them? It's embarassing enough to be an adult to... come home to such.

Would someone break down, cry... fall to their knees? Scream to heaven, "oh God, why is this happening to me! What am I going to do?" Would people slow down, gawk? Would anyone stop, care to help?

What about people like... me? I drove by... what could I do? We are doing the best we can to live each day, pay our rent... pay our bills.

We are taking care of Camie, the little puppy I rescued... if it weren't for the donations people call in to her vet.... or donate to her GoFundMe account... it'd be mighty hard to pay for all that... and she isn't well, yet.

I slowed down, turned into the driveway. I looked toward the fenced-in yard... three Pups stood there, waiting to greet me. Two Pups' long tails were wagging... I had to look closely to see the third Pup's tail wag... it was a little nub... and it was 'wagging a mile a minute'.

Thank-you, God... for my Pups, and Skip. I'm so thankful to have a place to go... called 'home'.

Tonight, all is quiet in my world. My thoughts turn back to the scene I saw earlier today. My heart is sad... I worry for the people who were kicked out of their home today. So many of us... today... are 'that close' to being ... 'out on the street'.

Will they be homeless tonight? Will they have to sleep on the ground? Will they pull their old mattress out from the pile of 'stuff' in the yard... spread their worn sheets, blankets out on it? What do they ... do now?

My prayers tonight are for the family who was evicted today... or was it a family? Maybe it was someone like Skip and I, and our Pups. Maybe it was an old man... or an old woman.

I wish I could have helped you... if I had the means, I would have. You would have a place to call home tomorrow, not only that... your rent would have been paid up until the spring time... groceries to last through out the winter months. I would make sure your utilities were taken care of, also.

If you needed a car, I would make sure you had one. It might not be a new one... but, it would be a nice one, easy on gas. I would make sure you got five-hundred dollars weekly until the spring time. That would be my gift to you; no strings attached.

Now... I've come back to reality. I don't have extra to help you. I have you in my thoughts, my prayers. I care. I'm just sorry I drove by today... and couldn't help.

I Didn't Know You Were Going To Die...

I Didn't Know You Were Going To Die...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I walked by a table, a family was laughing... talking
I heard my name, looked up to see an attractive face
Smiling at me, with twinkling... mischievous eyes

Kenan!  I called her name aloud with happiness
I was always glad to see Kenan... with her sweet smile
So very petite, pretty... ever-lasting beauty into 'old' age

We used to laugh, talk about getting 'old'
I'd look at her, think 'when I get your age'
I hope I could look so beautiful the way you do

I always cared about you, Kenan
I didn't know you were sick
I pray that you never suffered, went to sleep

To wake up in Heaven to brighten
Their day with your glowing smile
Just as you always did mine... whenever I saw you

Rest in peace, my friend... Kenan
I'm feeling the pain of discovering you are gone
I would have spent more time talking to you

Laughing, being mischievous, having fun
As you and I did, when we saw each other
But... when I last saw you... I didn't know you were going to die

Goodbye my friend, Kenan
I hope you see my son in Heaven
As he is already there...

You'll see a smile as bright as yours
Maybe you'll laugh, talk, see us 'down here'
Knowing no matter what... our love can reach Heaven, too

I sit here, and my tears threaten to... overflow
Like water washing over a dam
My little smile like sunshine reflecting on the river

Sending rays of love, caring
That travels all the way to you
I'm so sad... I didn't know you were going to die

Fatigue And Liquor... Out-Bested Them

Fatigue And Liquor Out-Bested Them...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I heard a sound at the back of the house.  I was visiting a friend, we were talking about fun things to do.  What in the world was that ... noise?

I asked her if she heard it ... she shook her head as if in disbelief. I knew she had to know what it was.  I asked her what was going on... oh my!  Did I hear a grunt?

I heard someone begin to cuss loudly... I jumped up, my stomach feeling sick.

"Hit me again, you son of a b____, just hit me again"!  I ran to see what was wrong.  I didn't want anyone to be fighting.  I had grown up in the worse fights of them all.

I stopped as soon as I rounded the corner... my eyes widened.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  I began ... grinning!  What in the world... this is ridiculous!  I don't believe this, I thought.

The woman's brother, and another man were squaring off to fight each other.  They were boxing, jabbing at each other... then, one would fall back, shake his head.  Then, he'd begin fighting harder to conquer the other.

This went on, and on... both men were drunk.  Both were cussing each other as they fought each other. They were doing serious damage to each other... I watched as they would grab their head where a blow could land.  Their heads would 'rock' on their shoulders.

Now... you would think I would step in to stop those two men fighting.... because it was an awful fight.  I can't bear for people to fight... it hurts my heart, at the same time... it just pisses me off to see people being ... stupid!  My reaction is one of wanting to fight to make people stop.....

I didn't stop these two men... you won't believe this... I just grinned as I watched the entertainment.  Me... someone who would try to be a peace-maker... standing there enjoying the fight!

"You son of a b____"!  The man began to cry... he cried out that he was hurt bad, now!  I began to laugh, I almost fell to the ground.  Yes, that's right!  It was so funny!

"I'm real mad, now," he yelled.  He began throwing wild punches to the other guy.  Soon, he was winded, had to stop.  Both men began saying they wouldn't hit each other anymore, if the other would stop.

They finally agreed, walked off... never noticing me.  I couldn't stop laughing... every punch the other threw at the other... never connected.  Yet... you would swear it did ...because their heads would begin 'rocking' back and forwards... and sometimes, one would grab his head.

They beat each other up real good!  Not one punch ever connected with flesh.  I liked that kind of fight... I'd stand any day to watch that.  They whipped each other's ass, without touching the other.  They could hardly walk, when they walked away.  Fatigue and liquor finally out-bested ... them.  I bet you they both went off to sleep somewhere.

I Will Put My Hand Down Its Throat... If Need Be

I Will Put My Hand Down Its Throat... If Need Be
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Years ago, I drove up in the drive-way to visit my mother.  I saw her big, yellow dog underneath the Oak tree.  He was laying on the ground, his paws were frantically pawing at his face.

I sat there several moments wondering 'what in the world'!  I realized something was wrong with him.  Something 'bad' was wrong with him!

I hurried out the door of my car, bumped my head, said 'Damn'!  I didn't stop to think about the pain... I hurried to Daryll, the big, yellow dog.

I saw foam around his mouth... I felt a sick feeling in my stomach.  What's wrong with him... how can I help him if I don't know what's wrong?  I felt 'pure panic'!

I couldn't let him lay there, die right in front of my eyes.  I was dressed in a beautiful dress, high heels... the thought went through my mind... 'I am going to get dirty'!

I was on my knees beside Daryll before I knew it.  I didn't want him to bite me... but, I wasn't going to 'just let him die'!

I grabbed his face, and I opened his mouth.  His paws had been pawing at his mouth... when I opened it... I saw 'why'!

A chicken bone from a piece of grilled chicken (a thigh bone) had lodged itself in the roof of his mouth... he couldn't get it out!  He must have been trying for quite some time... he looked really bad... weak.

I quickly grabbed that bone, stuck my finger in the space between the bone, and the roof of his mouth.  I was so thankful... the bone popped right out!

That was the day I learned not... to ever give bones to pets ever again!  I'm horrified when I see people give dogs, cats .... bones from any kind of meat... unless it's a 'huge' bone'.

Our Pups never get bones... the only bones they ever get are the rawhide chew bones... and their treats.

So, think about that when you go to feed chicken bones to your dogs.  I see a lot of people 'just throw their bones' at dogs for them to eat.  I cringe when I see that... but, it's none of my business.

I will jump in to save it... if I have to.  I will put my hand down its throat if need be to ... save it.

I Have Never Seen Butterflies Fly In The Rain...

I Have Never Seen Butterflies Fly In The Rain
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Butterflies in the rain
Fluttering all around
Playing tag with the raindrops

A little puppy runs, jumps
Up in the air to catch a butterfly
Misses it, runs to jump again

The puppy never caught the butterfly
I was so glad, though it was a sight to see
A little, happy puppy running in the rain

I stood watching the butterflies
As they fluttered all around
In their colors of yellow, black

As many as there were one would think
It was raining butterflies
I thought I have never seen butterflies... fly in the rain

When The Sun Went Away… I Began To Cry

Posted on August 14, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When The Sun Went Away… I Began To Cry
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

You smiled at me… no, it was a grin

A mischievous grin… I waited for your joke

When I saw that gleam in your eyes

I knew to watch out

You were going to play a prank on ‘Ole Mom’

You both laughed, talked, joked
I waited… I knew it was coming
You couldn’t fool me… you were going to get me
Get me, you did… when I least expected it
You both laughed, and laughed

I began laughing, too
Because I’d just been pranked by my son
Whom I loved with my very heart
He did his cowardly lion laugh
That put me in hysterics, on the floor

It tickled me so good
Because he did it better than the cowardly lion
He did it with a deep tone in his voice
It began slow… picked up speed
It kept on, I laughed until I was weak

Your smile was bright as the sun
When we last sat at the picnic table
I really noticed it… it stood out to me
You said those were the best sandwiches you ever ate
I really looked at you… you said that’s right, they were

I looked into your handsome face
Lit up by a sunshine smile
How I loved you with my very heart
I’ll never forget you live
That God gave me you, my son

That was the last time I saw you
You smiled, tooted the horn
Rode down the driveway in your big, white truck
Waving at your Ole Mom
Waving at her for the last time… goodbye

I sit here, I think I’m going to cry
No, I think I’ll scream to heaven
God, why did you take my son
Why did you take him away from me
Don’t you know how much he meant to me?

The anger I feel in my heart
The more my mind screams
Screams the pain his death has caused
People walk by me, smile
I stand there angry, grieving, mad at the world

No one knows the difference
They can’t see how my heart hurts, grieves
Damn you, God
Please forgive me, I know I said that
I’m hurting now, I know I struck out

Struck out at you, God, blamed you for my pain
I think we all do that from time to time
Who am I to say who is to blame
I’ll just think how grateful I am to have known my son
He was my son, my child… my only one

I really have no choice as I stand in front of you
Smiling my quiet, sweet smile
While my heart is breaking, my mind screaming
You only see a sweet, little old woman
Looking back at you

Who listens to your problems
Feels your pain, gives her time to listen to you
You’ll never know what she feels
She’ll never share it with you in words
But… she will come here… to write her pain

Soon… the holidays will come again
For the fourth time… without you, Son
What am I going to do… it hurts so bad
What am I going to do… the pain has broken free
From all I protected me from…. I feel it now with my heart

It began several days ago, I should have known
When I felt the darkness slinking around
Trying to drown the sunshine out, make me feel inside
Panic… like birds fluttering their wings against the bars
To get out of the cage they find themselves trapped in

How can I push this wave of pain back
This time, it’s really bad… what am I going to do?
I can’t just go talk to anyone… I can’t talk about my pain
I can only write the grief, as my fingers feel it flow
Through each fingertip… when I tap each key

I’ve had many distractions, Skip’s been sick
I rescued a little puppy… both are better now
Thank-you, God… you answered my prayers
Please help me once again… my heart is heavy
I feel afraid… I feel death is near… please make it go away

I don’t want to lose anymore people I love
Should I just hate everyone …so, I can’t feel
Hate until my soul turns black?
I can’t do that … I hate dark colors in my world
I’ll love until my soul is only happy colors

I’ll love the people in my heart
But, I’ll never get close to them
So, I can’t feel the pain
Of losing them… should something happen
Understand… I love you … at a distance

It’s the only way I know
For years I talked about ‘Family’
I see I’m just the same
I stay quiet with my pain, tell no one
So, they wonder why Gloria’s like that

At this day, time… I’m thinking they are like me
In the respect, that one can’t depend on their love forever
It’s love one day… hate the next… never consistent
It’s better to grow old alone than to feel anymore
So, understand why I’m this way

Losing Tommy has done something to me
Yes, you thought right… it did do that
Not make me crazy, lose my mind
But… make me more hesitant to get too close to anyone
I love you all more than you know… this is just… the way I am

Can’t you just love me back… understand
That I have to be to myself as I love you in return
Please accept me the way that I am
To love someone is to accept them as they are
Even if I don’t say it… I love all of you

I’m the most imperfect person in the world
Even if you think you are… I don’t think that way
I don’t judge people by their covers, what they have
I do go by the way they treat others… me
I can love you no matter who you are… who am I not to?

I’ll leave you with these words before I go
That comes from the pain I feel in my heart
Love your children, always let them know
How much they mean to you, no matter if they squirm
Secretly… they smile because it means the world to them

I thought as I wrote this pain that it would go away
No, it didn’t… what will I do this time to help myself
Get past this ‘bad day’ I’m having, what will I do?
When I feel as if I’ll fall to the ground, scream in anger
Where is my son? Scream to the heavens my very pain

All left for me to do… is to go to sleep
To close my mind, not feel the pain
Hope to wake up with a smile on my face
Let my spirit soar high above me
Thank-God for another day

Lately, I tried to ignore the feelings inside me
I knew it was going to happen, I tried to pretend
That everything’s alright… really it wasn’t
I think it’s okay ever so often… if I have a ‘bad’ day
Still… everything’s going to be all right… it always is

I have to get past feeling like the little birds
Trapped in a cage, panicky because they can’t get out
Fluttering, beating my wings against the bars
Something will open the door… let me fly free
Of my grief, my pain that… trapped me

I think this happened because the sun went away
It won’t come back out on this cloudy day
When it went away, it took my happiness with it
That won’t come back until the sun shines
When the sun went away… I began to cry

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White Becomes Confusing When It Has No Color...

White Becomes Confusing When It Has No Color...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

White... she focused on a white surface
White is blank... blank needs something on it
Her mind raced, trying to think of something special
Worthy of placing on that white surface

All colors go with white, I've never seen one clash
Now, all colors that clash... complement each other
Red and purple, pink and red
I love green and purple, my lucky colors
When I see them, they make my mood brighten

White is nothing, yet it's something... exciting
Because anything can go with white
I try hard not to draw on white when it's on a wall
Yet, on paper I let my pencil go
To draw to my heart's content

A little white rabbit sat on the white tile
Looking at four white walls
It thought it saw something white move
All because it had a flash of yellow on its wings
A butterfly flew overhead, flew high and strong

The butterfly looked down, saw a white rabbit looking at it
Flew closer to it to look at him
The butterfly wouldn't have seen him but, he saw a spot of blue
Two spots of blue to be exact... two spots looking back
White became confusing when it has no color

I had a white scarf, it fell to the white floor
I couldn't see it, until my foot felt it
I picked it up, placed it on the white table
Where I lost it once again
White becomes confusing when it has no color

I drew myself on the white canvas
I decided I didn't like me
I whited myself out with white correction fluid
Until I was there no more
White becomes confusing when it has no color

I drew myself once again
Colored my hair blonde, my lips pink
My eyes green... I could see me
Liked me when I became colors
White gets confusing when there's no color

Color me happy, color me colors of the rainbow
Make my walls soft lavender, sage green
Let peace come into my heart
As all my white turns into color that I can see
Finally... I can see my world around ... me

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