I Love You, Son... I Miss You

I Love You, Son... I Miss You
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

This photo is the last photo taken of Tommy just several hours before he collapsed on the beach playing with his little son... he died on that beach on May 29, 2010... Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  My son, my only child.  No one knew Tommy was sick... he died of a heart attack at the age of 40.  I still can't believe he's gone... I've never known such pain in my life as I have ... since my child died.


Today, I thought of you
I felt a familiar pain in my heart
One that made me sad to my very soul

Disbelief... even now, that you are gone
For a moment, I felt you here
I miss you, son... it hurts so bad

Burning tears filled my eyes
I felt a heaviness in my chest
Emotion welled up inside me

Tommy... I can't believe you are gone
You... who was such a vibrant person
With your personality so... so alive!

I've been occupied for the past month, or so
With a little puppy I rescued
Trying to get her well, and make her life good

That I didn't let myself think of you
Now... my heart wants to cry tonight
I miss you, son... I miss you

I felt this grief deep inside today
When we talked about Big Spring, Texas
All of us meeting there on the big rigs

The happiness I felt to see you so far
Away from home... you going one way
We going the other way

This really is a small world I learned
When we never knew where the other
Would be... we'd meet in California, and different states

It was wonderful, son
The happiness I felt was like an eagle soaring in the sky
My smile like the sunshine that lit the world

We were talking about meeting you all over this country
In every state... traveling at the same times
Those were the 'good old days', son

I look back through time
I never saw a warning sign
That you were going to go away

Never to be able to come back
I just can't believe you are gone
I'm never going to see you again

Grief... yes, grief is what I'm feeling tonight
I 'knew' it was there today
When we spoke of you

I felt that familiar pain
Burning tears in my eyes
A heaviness in my heart

I love and miss you, son
It hurts so bad
Now... it's time for me to pretend

That I'm past the pain of losing my only child
So, no one will know I cry for you
Put a smile on my face... everything is once again... alright

The light went on, exposing my grief
Now... it's time to turn it off
Let it hide in darkness... once again... until the next time

If I don't let go of it now
I could get caught up in losing myself again
To fight to get back to where I am, now

A mental soft-colored blanket, thick and soft
Just placed itself over the pain
To tuck it in, let it rest in peace for as long as possible

Tuck it in like a child... my child
Put my hand on his head to brush his hair back
Kiss his forehead gently, say... I love you, son, I miss you