I Don't Want To Hurt My Fictitious Characters' Feelings!

OKAY ... here's something funny you can laugh at ... about ME.

I told Skip Bates ... he laughed and ... this is what he said: "You need help!" :) :) :) <3 <3

I told him what I'm telling you now. Tell ME what you think. I told Skip I decided I can't write 'scary-horror' stories anymore! He asked, "why?"

I told him because ... I can't bear for any of my characters to be hurt again ... be scared again. I don't want them to bleed ... I don't want them to be mutilated. I don't want anger to be directed at them. Oh my ... what to do?

What's happened to ME in the past months to change ME in a way I didn't realize. After all ... characters in a story ... are imaginary ... they aren't real. They aren't really feeling pain, they aren't bleeding or walking, dragging around with no legs for being mutilated, limbs severed.

They aren't really screaming, 'Help me!' They are just fictitious characters ... they don't even feel joy, happiness. They don't even cry, laugh ... nor talk.

So, what has happened to ME to cause me to begin ... worrying about fictitious characters ... and their pain, fear?

I'm not so perfect I want to write perfect stories about perfect people who were born perfect ... even to their ..... smelling like roses all their life. I know Life isn't perfect ... I know there are people who think they are perfect ... sadly by the time they realize, learn Life's lessons ... they've wasted so much of their own valuable time/years of their life.

So ... what do you think? Have I gone crazy without knowing it? I mean who has ever heard of someone who loved scary stories, movies, wrote scary stories ... change their mind .... care for the fictitious characters' feelings? Why in the world do I care?

WELL ... sometimes, I worry about things we see, think about in our minds. You know ... thoughts. Thoughts travel ... sometimes have a way of coming true. I do believe we have to be careful what we wish for ... see in our minds.

I don't even wish awful things to happen to people I truly dislike, despise. If I saw one struggling, needing help ... I'm still a good person ... I walk over to help. It's my nature. I don't want anything to do with them but, for a moment ... I would help, go my way ... and not waste any insincere words with them.

I believe in peace, respect even when I truly 'hate' someone. I won't be the one to mistreat them nor do I seek revenge. I'm hoping nothing ever so bad happens to make me act in the opposite way I am ... because someone would 'have pure Hell to pay'. I truly could have become that person growing up ... was becoming ... I was growing up in revenge, hate, greed, anger.

So, how in the world did ... I ... keep from being the most awful human being who does mean, evil things to another person ... enjoy it. Laugh in glee at their discomfort, feel pleasure in letting them know ... 'I am king of this mountain' ... don't f___ with me!

I knew ... I know ... exactly how to be 'that person' but, it truly isn't ME.

My favorite one 'cuss word' is ... 'damn!' (I earned that word as a little girl when my beautiful mother tried her best to wash it right out of my mouth ... I hid it with my tongue ... she never did find it, it's MINE! :) :) :)

I know some more cuss words ... how could someone live in Hell and not know them. I had knowledge of things no child should have known. Today ... that's a good thing because ...

Because through time ... it taught ME how I ... didn't ever want to be. Damn! (yes, that's MY word, I told you!) ... Damn! I have finally reached the point of worrying about fictitious characters' feelings! I don't want them to hurt, bleed, cry, die ... anymore.

Damn! What's up with that?

Note by this Author:

Well, as Tommy would say if he were here at this very moment ... 'well damn, Mom!' I can hear him all the way to Heaven laughing at his silly mother!.

Now ... I really have found a distaste for writing scary, evil things recently. I just can't do it ... for now. Why? I don't know. I thought by writing about it I would find an answer. The answer didn't come this time when writing.

Maybe ... just maybe I am wishing the for-real ... impossible. I wish bad things didn't happen to people ... animals. It breaks my very heart.

I am realistic ... I face Life just like it really is. I learned to meet it head-on so, I could go ahead ... live. Oh my, my , my. In my life time I have shed more tears than smiles. I've loved with my very Heart ... when I never meant to . If I hadn't loved ... I wouldn't have ever had to cry.

So, I'll see what I write about ... truly ... I don't care as long as my fingers are tapping on the keys, and my mind is on a roll ... it's like flying .... flying with words not wings. Flying with words not wings.

Written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates. Photo owned by ME, also. Skip Bates Tommy M Sidden Gloria Bates Colors

Photo is of my Tommy Dragonfly Tattoo I had done in Memory of my only child, my son ... Tommy M Sidden who died May 29, 2010 at Myrtle Beach ... collapsing on the soft sand as he ran with his young son while playing, laughing ... he went to Heaven hearing the ocean waves ... seagulls sing. My son had 3 blockages to his heart ... no one ever knew.