Whether I Like It Or Not

 

9:04 am ... March 26, 2024 ... Tuesday

I helped Skip a short time time ago to raise up in bed. He can do it on his own but, I am always there to put my hand out to give him extra strength. I know it would mean the world to me. There are times we all need just that little extra.

Skip is still sleeping late each morning ... so, is Camie. She will stay in bed as long as we do. I really think the change in Skip's sleeping habits have changed to sleeping late each morning. I would have bet you'd never see Skip sleep late. Well ... now, I've seen it.

I don't have to say it but ... I will 🙂🙃🙂❤❤ You know where I am as long as Skip, Camie are sleeping. Right here on the bed sitting comfortably, writing until they get up. Then ... it will be Skip's bath time, getting his oral care ... then, getting his coffee, ice water ... Camie's breakfast while I prepare Skip's breakfast, making sure he takes his morning meds.

During that time I am doing all the little things as we do when we care for someone ... they are the 'million little things' no one ever knows, sees ... unless for some reason they aren't done. They are the little things that help hold things up, help make the day so much better. I am the queen of multi-tasking, not Martha Stewart 🙂🙃🙂❤❤

Humpty-Dumpty and Martha Stewart ... keeping all the pieces picked up and doing a million things at once. That's Gloria ... ME.

If I didn't... our world would fall around our feet. I am the engine behind it all ... I have to stay strong to push us into each new day. I am the engine 🙂🙃🙂❤❤ I am hearing in my mind about the little engine that could.

I am more important than I know ... I realize it being Skip and Camie's caretaker as well as wife, fur- baby mom. I am constantly monitoring, anticipating things ahead of time ... I see that more and more. Whether I'm important to anyone else ... I really am everything to ... Skip and Camie. That's amazing by itself ... why?

Because ... in my life I never wanted anyone to ever have to depend on ME. I am not certain how I was like that. Like so many things ... how I think, opinions, how well I know people aren't always what they seem, the good, bad, ugly in people all stem back to that little girl living at her Grandma Alma's and George's home.

Oh my, so much went on ... it went on when I slept ... I would wake up to just things children shouldn't. Nothing was ever calm at my Grandma Alma's house ... day or night.

The thing is ... I can be 100% depended on ... if for some reason I don't come through ... there is something preventing me from doing what I said. My word can be counted on ... if I say it ... I will do it. If I don't,  something is preventing me. I am going to do what I say.

This is why I don't like to be depended on ... because if I have to ... I am going to go through Hell, high water to keep a promise, keep my word. Not everyone feels about responsibility like I do. I mean to do what is entrusted in my care, entrusted to ME.

Having said this ... I hate being depended on because of always worrying I could fail along the way. I don't like to fail yet, through Life I have many times. There's no comparison to where I've been in Life ... to where I am at now. Even I don't believe.

If you notice if ever in the position to ... depend ... on ME ...  for something ... you will notice I don't give my word lightly. If I give you my word ... while I'm living everyday life ... I am constantly aware of what I've promised.

Being dependable, reliable is to ME ... is a very huge responsibility.  I don't like it but, in my life ... I have been relied on, depended on always ... I come through most all the time ... but, it's such a burden to carry. People expect ME to do as I say ... because they know if no one else keeps their word ... I will.

I just don't want everything to depend on ME. Of course, being ME ... it will always be like that. Why? Because that's just the way I am ... whether I like it or not.

Skip Bates Precious Camo Kissy Fairchild Tommy M Sidden