Pages by Granny Gee

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Just Thoughts ...

 

Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates  ... taken summer of 2021 ...



I dissect my thoughts into puzzle pieces, put them back together again. Sometimes ... the pieces go back into the same old place because ... I couldn't change my way of thinking ... because there's nothing new to add to make ME change my mind. That's because I ... just don't know anything new to add to it.


I love to see something different... have new thoughts when I think about something old in my mind. I walk around things in my mind poking, probing, just trying to find, see something different I didn't notice before.


Sometimes, I go to a lot of trouble thinking about certain things, see them in different lights only to have to go back to my original way of thinking. That's because at the moment I don't have anything new that works to make Me know any differently. 


This morning I am thinking about lots of things but, not much on any one thing.


Cicadas ... my only time seeing them when I lived in the mountains of North Carolina.  On the land we owned ... the cicadas came out in their glory. They were everywhere ... I don't remember being afraid of them. Their music was very loud. They were beautiful like jeweled insects.


As I talked on the phone ... I was sitting outside on the porch ... the very air in front of the porch began to ripple as if someone was opening a curtain made of thin air. I became quiet as I watched knowing I was witnessing something very unusual ... the first thought in my mind was ... Tommy! 


I waited for the curtain to open ... fully expecting to see my son step out. Nothing else happened as I sat there on my cellphone describing what was happening to Skip. Skip had called me to see how I was. This wasn't long after my son died. I 'knew' it was Tommy. It never happened again. 


Showering in the rain ... 🌧 💙  making a makeshift private space to shower in the warm summer rains ...


Picking veggies off the plants in our little fenced-in yard. Hoping a nice watermelon will come from the seeds I planted ... last time I had watermelons ... beautiful, small ones ... they weren't the best tasting ... why?


What can I do today to make it special ... do I feel energetic enough to begin something with a lot of work involved? I need to rearrange the living room ... I look forward ... I just have to make myself begin. I need motivation. 


Thoughts ... and more Thoughts. They never end ... I love it ... I'm constantly thinking, reading, watching, listening, studying all around me ... my mind is never stagnant. I don't sit in a stagnant pool of Thoughts ever. 


I don't voice all I think about ... some things never need to be shared with anyone. We all should have some private thoughts to only ourselves, maybe sometimes,  with someone we are close to. A lot of times ... it's best to only think not voice our thoughts.


You can give all your personal thoughts away ... there's always someone who will gather them up as ammunition to hurt you with later. 


Then ... there are the people who love, care about you ... of course, there are those you trust with your Heart ... who will hurt you most, murder you. 


One never knows ... can you tell I watch Unsolved Mysteries... Evil People ... such things 🙃? Thoughts ...


More thoughts ... I looked out window, trees are swaying gently in the breeze ... I see our gas grill ... grilled chicken, 🍔 hamburgers, hotdogs! Thoughts ... more thoughts ... 


Thoughts of any, everything. My mind never stops ... like my hands, my mind stays busy ... doing something ... thinking something ...











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