I Am A Piss-Poor Example But, Regardless ... I Conquered
This morning I sat here thinking ... no, it isn't ... wait, it just might ... no, it isn't going to shine.
The sun was shining brightly for a few moments... not now.
It is a cloudy morning ... it rained last night ... more rain is expected later today.
Oh well ... I will ✍ write without the beautiful glow of ☀️ sunshine this morning... I miss it. Yes, I'm all about the sunshine.
Yesterday ranked up there as one of the worst days of my life ... I've never experienced what I went through ... hope to never experience it again.
I won't talk about this experience... not all Life experiences need, nor should be talked about.
There's such a thing as respect, love, caring, empathy that's more meaningful than speaking about something that happened to someone.
What is more important is how things are handled ... how one gets through it to the other side. Think of it as trying to cross turbulent waters.
I will admit though I made it across those turbulent waters ... I was a ... yes, I AM saying it ... I was a piss-poor example of how to handle something so shocking ... so awful ... so, everything I've never seen in my life.
I was ungracious ... I raised pure damn Hell ... I cried ... for over an hour it went on as ... "I crossed the turbulent waters" ... in front of ME.
If I wanted to do anything else ... including to just get the Hell home ... either I had to Conquer "the monster" in those "turbulent waters" or forever ... be a sorry failure.
Not only that ... "the world would see ... know". We all know in our lives we have to have privacy ... out of pure love, respect we never-ever talk about some things.
Why would anyone do that knowing it would bring about hurt, degradation to another person.
Sometimes, we have to use all the power we have in us to make good things come from bad. We all handle the unexpected in different ways.
I like to say most of the time I do pretty good unless ... all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed with things that seem too big for ME.
I go into a sort of shock while my mind is frantically trying ... to see the way out!
In my mind ... I have been backed into a corner ... to get out of it ... things would be getting ugly ... because coming out of the corner ... I AM!
Or ... I could go very quiet, very nice, begin smiling ... this time ... all Hell broke loose!
This was my only option ... the only way I could get through. "Raising Hell" ... for ME is like when you go to put gas ⛽ in your 🚗 car when it's on empty.
I'm not a regular Hell Raiser ... only when I have to fight big, little battles ... like putting gas in your car ... the more Hell I rage ... the farther I travel ... raising Hell is ... the brand of fuel I use in my mental car to 🔥 to get ME through, overcome obstacles in my Life.
Sometimes, I rage (raise) Hell silently ... sometimes, I rage Hell loudly or in between. If you ever see, hear ME ... leave ME be ... I am in the process of knocking obstacles Life sometimes, throws in my path. I ... mean ... to ... win!
To this moment ... I am still here. Yesterday was no exception ... I crossed those turbulent waters in a very ungracious way ... crying, raging Hell quietly the whole way.
I did it ... I made it ... and I almost had a breakdown in the process but ... I came out of that corner with the flames of fire raging Hell all the way.
By the time I was through no one could ever see any evidence of the "monsters" I conquered.
No one had to come ... clean up ... most people would have tucked their tails between their legs, sneaked away leaving Hell ... for others to walk through.
Not ME ... I take care of my own ... I expect others to do the same if they are able-bodied.
Strangely ... hours later ... the most awful battle behind ME was completely forgotten.
Strange enough ... if I hadn't "raised ... raged Hell" ... I would have lost that battle ... only negative would have come from it.
Strange enough ... sometimes in Life we have to raise a little Hell to make good things happen ... make all positive again ... NO MATTER ... how good a person you try to be. Just ask ME ... ask Gloria.
Sometimes ... we have to be ugly to bring about good things ... if I'm ugly ... I'm fueling my mental gas tank up ... for Life's battles ... I mean to win.
All that Hell raised ... raged ... isn't in vain, isn't wasted ... no matter how ugly ... it's meant for a positive outcome. That's making good out of bad.
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