Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/aka GG ... photos taken December 24, 2018
I am so happy to be nearing my destination on Weight Loss Road in my journey to find ME. It hasn't been easy at all and if I hadn't worked hard ... I would have gained it all back. Thank God for giving me strength to go on.
At one point when meeting people I've (women .. to be clear) ... always laughed, talked to ... thought liked me ... I almost went back to being fat ... overweight again. So ... they'd like ME again. Hell no, I won't.
Why? I will tell you why below. This is what happened yesterday ... this isn't the first time it has happened after meeting up with 'friends' that haven't seen me to know I've lost so much weight. Read on. You know I don't sugar-coat Life ... real Life. This is real Life and it hurt me ... made me feel bad ... but, not for long.
I will choose being myself ... I won't gain weight for anyone to be happy so ... I can be sad. I am not the first woman this has happened to ... and I recognize it for what it is ... strange enough I understand with my Heart. How can I understand?
Because I have been there ... done that. I have been overweight and someone in the past come up looking nice, trim, happy to have lost their weight ... I would feel a stab of pain, envy ... I couldn't talk to them ... and you see admiration for a job well-done in your husband's eyes, boyfriend's eyes. Of course, the husband or boyfriend hopes, wishes you will do the same.
This is happening to me now ... thankfully ... I am the happiest with myself than I've been especially before my son died. I have found myself now ... and I'm making up for time I can't remember losing for battling grief, medical issues and such. I will grow older gracefully just as I wished to. I like ME now no matter if other women don't. I figure I am making up for 20 or more years :) I've lost to things I can't even tell you.
I am still that good person who liked you to the ones who act differently now. I'm not a threat to anyone ... I have the husband I want. He's perfect for me. I'm the same person though my body has shed most of its unneeded weight. Oh, and I am an 'old' woman now. :) <3
My mind, feelings didn't change ... when younger we are used to seeing women lose all that weight ... go out of control ... a lot of times destroying others' lives by doing things they shouldn't ... they hurt their friends, anyone who has a boyfriend or husband ... thinking they look so good that they can get anyone they want not thinking of the anger, grief they leave behind.
Well, they might get them for a short time ... what does that prove? You got laid with your friend's husband, boyfriend ... does that make you feel good? How does it make you feel when ... you find out it didn't really make you happy ... and you go on to gain all that weight back?
See ... that's not what real Life is about at all ... you lost all that weight to go down the wrong path ... now, you have to learn that Life's lesson all over again. Oh ... not to count Karma is going to get your ass back over and over until you do get it right.
Really ... you deserve it if you hurt others to seduce the men they love in their lives. My Gloria Opinion only. My little brother used to say, 'Karma is a bitch'. You hurt other women ... your own gender when you know how it feels ... oh yes, you deserve what is most definitely coming your way one day ... sooner or later.
Gloria ... how can you say things such as this? Women don't ever voice such to the world ... this is a woman secret. You are telling on women about some of the women games they play ... no one ever sees unless you are another woman ... men certainly don't see it and it's right in front of their eyes.
Oh ... the games played men never see. Sometimes I see them sense something but, go on to think it's their imagination. Not. They go on to think women just love each other and life's good. No, it isn't.
The only women who don't play games like that are the ones who have become wise through the years, caring to learn what's important in Life ... women who have experienced pain, grief enough to open eyes to make one feel for others, care for others, understand. Become real ... live real Life ... never pretending to be what they aren't again.
As young people we 'become' so many things like trying on hats ... not knowing as we play those games we hurt others at the same time. We snub them, shrug them off while we prance up Life's road merrily ... only at a later time ... look back, see ... wish we hadn't. We were too busy being something in our imagination.
Men ... pay attention ... wake up, notice how we women play games in front of you when all you see are two women smiling, pretending to like each other. Think I'm lying? I do play the pretend game of liking someone I don't like ... if I have to ... to be polite, nice, not create a scene. If I can go the other way I will. I don't like to be untrue to ME.
I've been a female all my life ... I grew up in a female world, a for-real female world ... I know exactly what females do. I learned it all ... do I want to play games with anyone now? No, I'm older, wiser ... understand Life is about more important things. I can't bear to hurt others ... and won't unless forced to.
Do I love to dress in pretty clothes and ... rock them? Oh yes! it's been a long time in coming. I want to be a 'hot' grandmother that my grandchildren will be proud of ... they don't know me ... now they can see ME ... I'm a lot in appearance like when younger. Now ... I look a lot like when Tommy was a young boy. I can give my grandchildren that. A lot of women wish this ... I'm no exception.
Haven't you ever wished to see grandparents look like how they really looked when younger, know them as a young person. I think it sad we lose our youth before our children's children know us as what we used to could do, be, was. Am I vain? No, I'm not. I've wished to see my grandmother in her prime ... knowing she had to be beautiful. I only had a few photos to know.
My grandchildren have never known me ... I keep thinking I want them to see Tommy's mother ... be proud his mother ... who is their grandmother is someone they are happy to see, glad they met. I want to reflect good on my son, son's children. On myself ... on my husband. Let them see me before age covers me with its blanket to make me look older, grayer and all those good things.
I have been in a million pieces ... shattered to kingdom come and back ... after the death of Tommy, my son. I have through time been trying to gather pieces of me ... to put ME back together again to be the person I remember myself being happiest as ... I mean in appearance. I'm glad my mind has stayed open to grow, mature through time. I'm not a shallow, dumb, uncaring person.
This is what I wrote yesterday after another encounter with a couple ... the woman has always been friendly to me and talk up a storm. Yesterday we met up with them ... she couldn't look me in the face. She is overweight ... I made her feel bad just being there in the world with her in the same spot at the same time.
Do you know that hurt me? I read what's not said aloud ... I sensed with my Heart. I know how it feels and have experienced it time after time after time. I felt for that woman because she was letting my weight loss have power over her to make her act differently. But see ... I couldn't tell her that.
Think about it ... I couldn't tell her in words ... no time to and it could have caused more pain. It was unnecessary ... if ... she'd looked me in the eyes and saw ... I am still the same caring, good person I was. Eyes reflect what we really are ... our words reflect even more who we really are, our actions ... say it all.
It hurt me because it's unnecessary ... we aren't young people now ... we all know how that works ... when people are young ... well, even older too ... they go on to hurt because they want to satisfy all their little whims and such ... losing weight is like winning a lottery. Some people use it well ... others rub it in and go on to destroy never caring what they leave behind. Shattered friends, hearts broken.
Yes ... people DO have that power whether we like it or not. It's like being president ... do what you want, run over others to get it. The good thing if there is such ... when someone abuses that power it's normally short-lived. Lost weight ... can be gained back quickly ... and then the other woman gets her revenge. Sad, but true. You will learn from hurting others ... you will in time know how it feels.
Here's what I said I wrote yesterday about this encounter, my feelings:
I am so happy to take photos of the person l recognize. I am so glad to have come this far on my weight loss.
One thing that saddens me when l meet people we know ... the wives or girlfriends won't speak to me now and avert their eyes and not see me. They used to laugh, talk to me when l was overweight.
This hurts my feelings to an extent. I am not interested in anyone's husband, boyfriend. Anyone who knows ME knows that.
I am just thankful to lose the weight that hid me so well that l couldn't recognize ME in my own mirror.
I am taking pleasure in actually wearing my clothes that have been put up so long when before l would look at them wishing so much to wear them again.
So ... l am the same person now as l was before losing weight. My husband means my whole world just as yours does to you.
I am thinking of 2 people in particular. You hurt the feelings of someone who didn't deserve that treatment.
I still care, respect you because l recognize why you did that ... most all women do that time to time ... it is a woman thing.
I am speaking of things normally never spoken out loud ... it is real life, l don't sugarcoat it. If l were a bad person l would take pleasure in hurting, making others uncomfortable ... l don't. I care about people's feelings ... if l didn't, then I would deserve the cold shoulder. 💜💜💜💛💛💛💛💜💛💜💛
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