By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
The last photo of Tommy on the evening he died... May 29, 2010- Saturday... on his last trip... only to get to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina... to play with his little son on the beach for a few minutes... then... go on his last ... 'forever journey'... to never come back. I miss you, Son. I love you. I accept you are gone, now... but, it doesn't mean I won't cry..... Love Your Mother, 'Ole Mom'... Gloria
Acceptance that you are gone forever
To be here no longer
Never to hear your voice, laugh, Tommy sounds
Jokes, pranks that you did all the time
Even 'stealing' Skip's funny sayings
Using them on him... forgetting they were his
I sit, hold your picture in my hands
See my own child, the only one I ever had
Knowing... you are gone forever; never coming back
I think to myself... I just can't believe someone so strong
So... full of personality, full of life
Can be... just ... gone ... just like that
You left behind two precious children
Who look so much like you
Children I will never know... see 'you' in them
Sadly... one day their mothers will know how I feel
Things have a way of coming back, so... one can know how it feels
I don't wish that for them... I don't want them to know my pain
Accepting that you are gone, doesn't lessen my pain
Doesn't mean I won't cry... I won't weep; feel sad
Acceptance doesn't mean I never loved you with my Heart
Acceptance does mean 'that now'... I can go forward
I know you are gone... nothing I can do will bring you back
I'll never stop loving you.... you'll always be in my Heart
Just because I can accept my loss now...
Doesn't mean that I'll never cry, grieve... even feel anger
Once in a while... that will happen
Do you know 'why?'
Because when you love someone so much... with your being
You miss them very much... there's always an empty space
Only 'you' could possibly fill with your ... being
Since you can't come back to fill that space
It's always treasured in my Heart... that's my son's space
It'll be there in my Heart even after I take my last breath
Even when one day I'm cremated...
Your space, my body will be ashes
You were a part of me when you were born
You'll be a part of me... when I die
That's the way Mothers are... a part of their children
I accept you are gone, Son... I loved you with my very Heart
Acceptance doesn't mean I won't cry... miss you; feel anger
Acceptance doesn't mean... I love you any less
It doesn't mean I won't feel panicky, sometimes
Like the 'birds fluttering, trapped in a cage
Trying to get out'... that feeling I get in my stomach
Acceptance does mean I can live my life now, in peace
You are in a special place in my Heart
Everything's going to be alright... no matter how bad
Acceptance means I try to find positive in my loss of you
Such as now... nothing can hurt you from this world
You are safe with God... everything's going to be... alright
Beautifully touching as always! Thank you for sharing your heart!
ReplyDeleteI think you are so brave to be able to accept that Tommy is gone----your only child. He was definitely a special person. He did like to joke around! He was funny whenever I saw him. Only Tommy could come up with a saying like "be surprised what a littel Armoral can do" when he saw a shiny apple! We all miss that. He was fortunate you were his mother and a darn good one!! He loved you with his very heart also and Skip. I am always here for you if you need me. Love, Ms. Nancy
ReplyDelete