Like all young people I was curious about alot of things I'd heard about. Some things I would want to at least try... though I had no business doing it... I would sometimes. You know how it is to be a young person.... thankfully all my life after experimenting several times... I never went on to drink and do drugs. The only two things I experimented several times with was when someone told me to try it, I'd like it. Well, I tried it .... and I didn't like any of it. I'll tell you about the experience I had with sharing someone's cigarette... a 'funny' cigarette. It really wasn't funny............
Some friends were smoking their 'funny' cigarettes .. they were older than I ... I was about 17 years old and so naive to the ways of life. I was invited to just inhale it when they passed it around, that it wouldn't hurt me. After a few times they passed it around... I was ready to try it.
Try it, I did...........and I never 'felt' anything and I told them I didn't understand why people thought that was bad to do. I never felt anything at all and they asked me to drive to the store to get some drinks. I said sure, I'll be glad to do that. It was a beautiful night and the moon was so bright... and oh, how I loved to get out on nights such as that and drive... and keep driving and looking at the beautiful, starry skies. So, I was ready to go to the store just to be out.
I got in the car and had to drive quite a way to the store ... when I became aware of my happy self... I was moving in rhythm to the windshield wipers ... going back and forth. My shoulders and head were going ... back and forth. I was so happy! Anyway, when I got to the store I parked and sat there for a short time ...keeping in rhythm to the windshield wipers... going back and forth.
People came and went......... some would just look at me from time to time... and I'm sure they wondered why this young girl was sitting there in her car like that on a moonlit night, a clear and beautiful night... rocking back and forwards to the beat of her windshield wipers! I'm sure I was even smiling... I was happy!
I don't know how long it was before I decided to get out and go inside to pick up the drinks but, I know everyone was smiling at me, just like I was smiling at them. When I got back ..someone asked me did I ever feel anything and I told them 'no, I sure didn't'... that ...that stuff didn't work and I didn't see what the fuss was all about.
I'm so glad though... that I didn't go on to do it the rest of my life. I don't like to have anything alter my thinking or make me feel 'funny'. I did realize later that.... that stuff did make me feel funny! I do look back at that memory and I'm embarassed, but, I still laugh about it.. I can't believe I did that. Beautiful moonlight and the rhythm of windshield wipers was playing a happy song for me that night.
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)