Message To My New Friends ... and to Remind All My Friends:
Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... photo taken 2018-2019
Just to let new friends know: I write all the time ... I talk about everything that is real Life.
I write about grief, pain ... how it feels when it happens, when it happened ... the loss of my son.
Don't make the mistake of thinking I sit and 'wallow' in grief, pain ... feeling sorry for myself. I have never done that ... I won't ever do that. I write so others will know someone is, has, are going through what they are/have ... they aren't alone.
I write because I have to write just as I have to breathe. It's a part of me ... what I do if I'm not doing something else. I just have to ... 'be doing' ... creating by writing, painting, making jewelry, dragonflies in memory of my son, rearranging a room ... just doing something.
I have been writing for years on my primary blog at: Happycolorsandgrannygee.blogspot.com. Now, I write primarily at: https://www.facebook.com/gloria.batescolors and ... share my stories on my regular Facebook page at Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... share to my blog (HappycolorsandGrannyGee).
Google may/may not be closing down where I've written for years at HappycolorsandGrannyGee ... I can't seem to find out. So, I've already begun to write here on my https://www.facebook.com/gloria.batescolors ... either way I have this ... my new writing place.
Yes, I will always keep this both Facebook accounts as all my friends are at both. I go between the two all the time. I'm happy with both Facebook places ... it's easier to communicate with readers here than on my old blog. I'll stay here to write.
I write about my childhood. These are the things I know best ... when one writes they have to write about things they know best to be credible.
I am an 'expert' :) <3 when it comes to pain, grief ... I've experienced maybe what you would think is way more than my share ... you are probably right. Life is like that ... throwing twists ... turns ... what does one do?
Like me, I have tried so hard to roll with it all ... today, I am still standing. I am amazed. Getting back to telling my new friends .... when I write ... it's for entertainment purposes ... well, not the jump up and down, dancing kind of entertainment :)
When you come here to read ... read, you don't have to leave comments with pity ... I don't need it. I don't ... need ... anyone to feel sorry for me. If you just want to read ... do like at the library ... come in quietly ... leave quietly.
If you feel compassion, have experienced the same or maybe wonder something ... I'll talk to you. No pity ... I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF ... I do not wallow like a pig in mud feeling sorry for myself. That's not me.
Remember I don't discuss politics nor religion ... nor mean, negative, ugly things here. I respect you ... and you respect me. I don't make threats either ... I just act accordingly.
I hope when people read ... they may find out they aren't alone in what they go through. Yes ... I'm old enough to know we all are going through something at one time or other.
Some of us hide it better than others ... after all ... we have to make our friends, acquaintances think we have a perfect life, right? Wrong.
I don't let anyone think my life ... nor ME ... is perfect. Far from it ... I'll be the first to tell you how imperfect I am. I can tell you this and you can take it to the bank. I am a for-real good person ... honest, dependable, very caring, giving ... loyal person.
Does that mean I won't get upset if someone pushes me? If someone is ugly to me? If I'm done wrong ... or I make a mistake and become frustrated?
Does that mean I am going to tuck my tail between my legs ... hold my head in shame if you don't think highly of me ... if you think I should do when I don't?
No, I'm not going to do any of those things even if I care what others think of me. I am not going to ball up in a little ball and sob, cry my Heart out because someone doesn't like me ... someone thinks they are better, have more ... or whatever they think.
Doesn't matter ... I'm not that little kid in school anymore worried if someone liked me or not. Embarrassed if I say or do something no one likes. Kids don't realize the time wasted on 'worrying about what someone else thinks'.
It's a wonder I don't look like a terribly mean-ass woman who smokes cigars ... wears all black leather, carry a whip in one hand ... lead a gang of mean-ass people. :) <3 You know I'm making this part up! Really though.
I want to grow older gracefully ... I really try to learn from all 'bad' things because I know they happen for a reason. I try to find beauty in all, anything ... anyone no matter how ugly. I care ... when I don't care.
I have a Heart ... it should have turned hard years ago ... I didn't let that happen. I forgive to help myself to live ... but, I never-ever forget ... and if the opportunity comes and I can return the favor ... I decide then whether to return ... or not.
Sometimes ... another person punishes themselves enough for what they do to others. I have compassion.
I want everyone to think highly of me but ... I AM NOT PERFECT. I tried to be for 3 years of my young life ... guess what?
It all went to Hell after someone said something negative about me and I knew in my Heart I was a good person. That devastated me. I quit being PERFECT :) <3
I won't waste my time anymore being ... just that plain stupid. That was one of those things we do as a young person and go to extremes.
Like a dumb-ass I thought I could be 'so good and eve-vvv-vvvyone would love me ... can't happen. There will always be someone who will say negative about you.
Just be as good as you can ... go on with Life ... go forward even if only one baby step at a time. That's all we can do. That's all I can do ... even if I am 'mean' sometimes.
I am high-tempered and I can say a 'ugly' word sometimes ... I can write an ugly word sometimes.
I grew up in Hell ... I do have Hell in me ... like a wild horse I am always trying to work on that ... think before I speak. I ... can ... cuss like a sailorman ... am I proud of that? NO. I learned all this as a little girl when I was taken to Hell, dropped off for the next journey in my little girl life ... I learned too well.
The good thing is I don't try to be mean, ugly ... I don't take pride in such. I take pride in trying to be a nice person though I'm not perfect ... pride in being as good as my word.
So, no matter how 'bad' I act if ... I lose my temper, defend someone, myself or become frustrated, use a cuss word ... I'm still a good person. :) :) :) <3 <3
Just remember ... I write true stories, I 'talk' when writing here. When I speak of grief, pain ... I'm doing just that. If I make you feel sad, feel any kind of emotion ... then, I am doing what I meant to do ... just as an actor making you get lost in a movie.
Pity ... feeling sorry for me is the last thing I need if one thinks that. :) <3 :)
I am as strong as a Redwood tree ... I'm still standing with my many scars from Life's storms. I may bend, fall ... shed tears but, I will stand again ... tall, happy to be standing again. :) <3 :)
True story/photos written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates.
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