I Am Amazed... My 2013 Wordpress Blog Review

MY 2013 WORDPRESS BLOG REVIEW...  I Am Amazed!
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... 2013


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Crunchy numbers
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,100 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
In 2013, there were 280 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 842 posts.
The busiest day of the year was March 25th with 61 views. The most popular post that day was What Are You Afraid Of?.


Attractions in 2013
These are the posts that got the most views in 2013. You can see all of the year’s most-viewed posts in your Site Stats.
1 I'm Old Enough... 11 comments April 2013
2 A Straw Bale Garden Was Born Today... 15 comments April 2013
3 You Aren't Alone... If You've Ever Had A Bad Hair Experience 18 comments March 2013
4 What Are You Afraid Of? 21 comments March 2013
5 Damnation... Hellfire (I'm Not Apologizing... I'm Not) 25 comments April 2013


How did they find you?
The top referring sites in 2013 were:
facebook.com
wordpress.com
stumbleupon.com
pinterest.com
mail.yahoo.com
Some visitors came searching, mostly for angolan witch spider, straw bale gardening, and gloria faye brown bates.


Where did they come from?
+
−That's 72 countries in all!
Most visitors came from The United States. The United Kingdom & Australia were not far behind.


Who were they?
Your most commented on post in 2013 was Damnation... Hellfire (I'm Not Apologizing... I'm Not)
These were your 5 most active commenters:
1  prenin 355 comments
2  CJ 106 comments
Following
3  jmgoyder 89 comments
Following
4  lenwilliamscarver 80 comments
Following
5  Chatter Master 78 comments

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THANK-YOU TO MY FRIENDS, AND BIGGEST COMMENTERS FOR THE YEAR 2013 ON WORDPRESS:

Thank-you, Prenin.  You are my very biggest, loyal follower, blog friend on Wordpress.com.  It means the world to me.  Love, Gloria

CJ... Colleen and Morguie ...thank-you for coming along in my blog life to make me smile, laugh even if tears were in my eyes.  I am honored to call you friend, also.  Love, Gloria

J M Goyder... Julie, you've been there always... also.  Thank-you for always speaking to me in your quiet, soft voice on my blog.  It has meant a lot.  Love, Gloria

Len Williams Carver... Len, thank-you for being there all this time.  You have suffered your own grief like mine, in a different way.  Yet... you always cared about my grief.  Thank-you for caring.  Love, Gloria

Chatter Master...  Colleen, you have always been there, also.  Just because your name is the last one on this list... it doesn't mean I thank-you any less.  Your words have meant so much to me.  Thank-you.  Also... thank-you for my much loved 'nickname' given by you to me.  I love being called... 'G/GG.  :)))  Love, Gloria
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YOU ALL HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART....
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Note ...  From Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
TO YOU, MY FOLLOWERS/FRIENDS.......

I want to let everyone know how much they mean to me... your comments might not have been the very most... I want you to know they meant just as much to me... I read such caring, love in them.  They meant the world to me.

All of you who cared enough to follow me... mean the world to me.  I thank all of you for being here, 'there'... at the most weakest point in my life.

All of you have helped to keep me lifted up from the clutches of the Sea of Grief, from being trapped in the Dark World of Grief.

I have sat, thought about how one person...  'me' ... is so fortunate to have all of you follow me.  I'm only one person in 'millions' who blog everyday.

Somehow... you all found 'me'.... I'm so amazed.  Somehow... you all let me know you cared... not only that, you all... followed 'me'.  Now... that amazes me to no end.

I can't believe how 'you all'... chose 'me'... to follow, too.  How special is that?  That's something no one can take for granted... I promise you I never take anything for granted.

I say in the quietest, most softest way... I'm so, so honored.  This means the world to me.  Thank-you for following 'me'... someone who isn't anyone special... no one famous... certainly someone not perfect at all.  Thank-you. Love, Gloria/aka Granny Gee  :)))

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• THANK-YOU: Prenin... CJ... Julie (J M)... Len... Colleen (Chatter Master)
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The Happy Smile She Would Wear ... When Needed

The Happy Smile She Would Wear ... When Needed
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Tommy and Taban ... my only son, my only grandson...

She took the mask off her sad face
Alone in her home, sitting in front of the mirror
Now, the smile lay on her dressing table ... instead of her face

She took the gold hoops out of her ears... six, in all
Unclasped the golden chain that held a special nugget
A big, gold nugget her son wore until the moment ... he died

She wore the gold nugget as a young girl in high school
Melted it down as a young woman to wear around her neck
Gave it to her only child when he was a young man

He wore it proudly, knowing it was his mother's class ring
Melted down by the jeweler to be worn on a gold chain
It was taken from his neck shortly after he went to Heaven

His mother treasures her gold nugget as she never did before
She touches it time to time... trying to feel her son
Trying to somehow, feel his last moments

Try as did... she never could... she couldn't feel anything
She would catch herself patting it gently... as if to comfort

To comfort herself... somehow, comfort her son when he died
Isn't it strange how we do things when we lose the ones we love?

One day this mother's gold nugget will be given to her grandson
When she's gone, for him to remember his father; father's mother

Maybe one day when he is a young man just like his father was
His Granny Gee will put the gold chain with the nugget on his neck

On his neck to wear with pride, to wear with such love
To know that his Granny Gee, his father wore it through time

His Granny Gee got it in 1968, gave it to his father in the late 80's
He wore it until the evening of May 29, 2010 when he went away

Went away forever... on that evening by the sea
On the warm sand, where his body was lowered by the angels

Lowered gently by their hands, their wings beating softly
All the while the sea gulls sung, 'Come home, Tommy, come home'

Tommy traveled that day to Myrtle Beach to play with his little son
By the ocean ... he barely made it in time... soon, he left once again

On an unexpected journey no one knew about, not even him
He didn't have time to say goodbye... he looked out to the sea

Heard the waves washing ashore, the sea gulls sing
The rustle of the angels' wings... felt the breeze on his face

He must have heard his little son say 'come play with me, daddy'
Maybe tears filled his eyes, he couldn't say anything

He may have stayed just long enough for the group of people
The people who came to his side, who protected his little son

Protected him, until his mama came... they must have been angels
They were the only ones there at that time, that place

One picked up the cellphone Tommy dropped, rang the last number
The last number dialed... to a home two hundred miles away

Hello!  They heard a happy voice say, when she answered the phone
'Ma'am, I have a man collapsed on the sand, he's not breathing'...

They never knew at that moment... she died, too
For this was how she learned of the death of her only child, her son

She sat at her dressing table, her lips in a sad smile
Her eyes looked in the mirror at her reflection

Tears filled her eyes, she wanted to cry
No matter how happy she was .... she was sad

No matter how sad she was ... it didn't change anything
To this day... she still couldn't believe that her son is really ... gone

She closed her eyes as she sat there ... traveled to the ocean in her mind
Her head rested on the back of the chair as she fell asleep, listening to the song of the seagulls as they ... sang

She awoke to a soft whiteness around her... where was she?
Someone came toward her... his smile like the sunshine

His hair shone like gold... his eyes were blue as the sky
Tommy!  Tommy!  She cried

As he hugged her, told her he loved her... she felt a bump
On her knee ... she opened her eyes to see three Pups

One standing by her knee, one laying on her foot
The other had just jumped up to kiss her on her face

She smiled her sad smile as she looked at the happy smile
Laying on her dressing table... the one she would wear when needed

The happy smile, the happy smile
She would wear... the one she would wear when needed

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I Only Have My Grief... To Compare My Grief To...

I Only Have My Grief... To Compare My Grief To...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Every time I begin to write today... it seems my words begin to talk about ... Tommy.  I wonder 'why'?  He would have been 43 years old on November 20th... and this is the third Thanksgiving he isn't ... here.

I know I'm thinking about him... though, my mind is thinking about other things.  I'm glad I'm not crying.  Do you know ...I miss my son.  I miss him with my very heart.

I don't worry that you will tire of me writing about him, when this happens.  You have the choice to go on to the next blog... post.  This happens ever so often.  I write grief, pain... it's what I know best.  Then, I write my colors/my life... my thoughts.

I was thinking today of how Tommy died... I wondered if his eyes were opened long enough to look up at the beautiful, blue sky... see the white sea gulls flying over him.  I keep imagining the sea gulls singing to him... 'Tommy, come home... it's time to come home'.

I pray that he didn't feel any pain in his chest... nor feel pain as his body collapsed on the sand.  I pray that invisible angel's hands guided him gently as he fell.

Did his ears hear the waves as they washed ashore close by where he lay?  My son died a beautiful death... people say this to me.  I can 'see' that they are right.  Everyone would want to 'go' that way.  My mind worries for any pain he might have felt... he had two blockages to his heart.  The autopsy showed this... I wonder... is it possible he didn't feel pain?

Imagine the music that the ocean, and sea gulls make as the sounds blend together... soothing, soft... hauntingly beautiful.  Doesn't it touch your heart?  I think Tommy heard this special music as his soul ... soared to Heaven.  Soared to the sea gulls singing, 'Come home, Tommy... come home'.

For the moment... I've went to the place where I don't usually allow my mind to go... to 'that moment when my son lay on that sand'.  To the moment... he... died.  I feel I want to cry... but, I know I won't for now.  I don't know 'why' I won't... I just 'know'.

I can see in my mind's eye... my little 3 year old grandson squatting down to his daddy's level... asking him to come play with him.  He probably put his little hand on his daddy's shoulder, to shake him to wake up.  Tommy was always playing with him... pretending to be asleep, and such... then, surprise his little son with a big grin, and a roar!  He didn't ... that time.

Thank-God for the little group of people close by... they were the only people around.  They came to Tommy, and Taban... watched over Taban until he was safely with his mother.  His mother didn't know where Tommy and their little son... disappeared to.  She, her family were putting luggage up in the hotel room.

I wonder when Tommy grabbed Taban by his little hand... did he feel an urgency to get to the ocean, to play with his little son as he wished to do... as quickly as he could?

He barely made it in time to play for a short time... he left on a journey that was unexpected... one he can't come back from.

The grief... in my grief, I would almost feel he was going to walk up any moment... appear from around the corner.  It felt like 'almost' anytime, I was going to see my child.  It was like when I was diagnosed with cancer... in that shock... I kept feeling somehow, I could step back 'through a door'... and everything would... be back the way it was.  Everything would be alright.

Some day I will sit, and try to explain that more... it's a very interesting way of thinking.  I've never heard anyone describe 'real grief'... I've never had opportunity to be around anyone who has grieved like I have.  I understand... no one's been around me to see me ... grieve ... like I have.  It's a very private thing.

When someone you love, dies... somehow, in the shock... it feels like you can 'shift the time' just a little... and it's like 'they can come back'.  It doesn't make sense... I just tried to 'go back' for a moment to 'feel', so... I could describe it. It sounds strange... maybe sometime, I will examine it more in my mind... and write it, to tell you.

In my mind, I used to wish I could reach out... part the air like opening a curtain... see the steps to Heaven... go up them quietly to the top so, I could peep... hopefully, to see the angels walking by... see Tommy.  I would have softly called, "Tommy"!  Then, watched for his sunshine smile!

We all wish... we all think... don't think... feel, cry... sob, weep when we grieve.  Sometimes, we do nothing...  I grieve quietly, privately... the only way to know I'm grieving is to see it in my writing.  I don't talk about it.  Only at a rare moment will Skip see me grieving... I don't want to upset, worry him.  If I'm not alright... he can't rest.  So, I write the pain...

When you look at me... you'll see my smile, and know everything's alright.  Because... really, I am.  I don't know how others grieve, I know how I do.  I only have my grief... to compare my grief to.

 

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