Tips Needed To Keep Our Dogs From Fighting Time To Time

I am looking for tips to prevent a fight from happening to begin with. It doesn't happen often but, once is too much. It upsets our whole life. Skip Bates and I are so close to each Pup that if we let one go, it's like losing a child. I know, we tried to let Dukester go to a wonderful home to a special person who loves Pitties. Skip asked me not to do it ... she was so understanding when I told her. Skip has been very sick ... and he began to sink into a deeper depression when he knew I was going to let Dukester go. I can't let that happen ... Skip, our Pups3 are all I have that's mine in this world ... they are my world. I love, treasure them and am thankful I'm not all alone. If you have sound tips that will help I would appreciate them ... but, don't offer tips that won't work. I need solid advice from people who have experience, know exactly what to do. I know sometimes, we like to share knowledge that 'we know' but, haven't really used, lived with. That's not helpful at all. Thank you.


I wrote below on MyLot.com where I write at ... asking for tips to help. Like a toolbox, I want to have all solid, positive, good tips like tools ... in it. This is what I wrote there:


FEBRUARY 25, 2020 9:07AM CST


I was wondering if anyone here has pets ... dogs, in particular? We have 3 big Pups (they aren't babies as they are 5, 6 and 9 years old).

We have a Rottie who is 9 ... I got him as a little 6 week old Pup. Of course now, he is big. He is precious. I named him Kissy ... he lives up to his name and is still a 'wiggle-waggle' pup.

Later, I rescued a Catahoula Pup. Her name is Camie ... she was dying when I rescued her. She had no hair and her skin was in the most awful condition. Anyway ... I was her nurse, guardian angel. She was mine, also ... I had lost my son, my only child. I can't tell you the darkness I was in. Through time caring for her ... I began to live again. She saved me, I saved her.

Several years later, we rescued a Pit Bull we named Dukester ... he was truly mistreated, not physically but ... he was on the big chain, left alone for days tangled in tree stumps unable to get to his delapidated dog house, water that was always green, and his spoiled dry food.

I could go on but, I won't ... you can guess how bad his life was, be right. Anyway, I almost had to beg for him just like I almost had to with Camie, even with her dying. Finally ... each owner came through, told me I could have them.

They've lived good since we have had them. They live inside where they are warm, cool ... have good food, clean water, lots of love and caring. They have a fenced-in yard ... and a pet door to come, go at will.

They know nothing but, love from us. This is what upsets me time to time ... sometimes a fight happens. Dukester will jump on one of the others. I physically break it up. Don't tell me not to do it because, it's not my nature to stand by and not protect. These are my babies.

I never feed them together ... there's always a gate up to separate the doorway to each room when they eat. I'm always watching, sensing, alert.

Does anyone have tips on how to keep Pups from fighting time to time? I have a spray bottle of water I call a 'No Bottle'. They respect that when I correct them ... I don't let them all get in the same space at one time. We've down-sized so our space is smaller.

They know only love ... they aren't ever mistreated. I just need to know how to stop our Pittie from sometimes, wanting to jump on one of the others. I know I'm not the only one to live with this with multiple dogs. I hope you will share your tips with me.

We don't want to give either up as their lives have already been bad. Kissy, our Rottie, hasn't ever known how it is to live a 'bad' life.

Thank you for anything you have to offer in the way of tips on how to make them never fight. Our Pittie is the very strongest because he has always pulled so hard trying to get to his food, water. If they kept fighting it's obvious what would happen. I can't let them fight.

I Don't Want To Hurt My Fictitious Characters' Feelings!

OKAY ... here's something funny you can laugh at ... about ME.

I told Skip Bates ... he laughed and ... this is what he said: "You need help!" :) :) :) <3 <3

I told him what I'm telling you now. Tell ME what you think. I told Skip I decided I can't write 'scary-horror' stories anymore! He asked, "why?"

I told him because ... I can't bear for any of my characters to be hurt again ... be scared again. I don't want them to bleed ... I don't want them to be mutilated. I don't want anger to be directed at them. Oh my ... what to do?

What's happened to ME in the past months to change ME in a way I didn't realize. After all ... characters in a story ... are imaginary ... they aren't real. They aren't really feeling pain, they aren't bleeding or walking, dragging around with no legs for being mutilated, limbs severed.

They aren't really screaming, 'Help me!' They are just fictitious characters ... they don't even feel joy, happiness. They don't even cry, laugh ... nor talk.

So, what has happened to ME to cause me to begin ... worrying about fictitious characters ... and their pain, fear?

I'm not so perfect I want to write perfect stories about perfect people who were born perfect ... even to their ..... smelling like roses all their life. I know Life isn't perfect ... I know there are people who think they are perfect ... sadly by the time they realize, learn Life's lessons ... they've wasted so much of their own valuable time/years of their life.

So ... what do you think? Have I gone crazy without knowing it? I mean who has ever heard of someone who loved scary stories, movies, wrote scary stories ... change their mind .... care for the fictitious characters' feelings? Why in the world do I care?

WELL ... sometimes, I worry about things we see, think about in our minds. You know ... thoughts. Thoughts travel ... sometimes have a way of coming true. I do believe we have to be careful what we wish for ... see in our minds.

I don't even wish awful things to happen to people I truly dislike, despise. If I saw one struggling, needing help ... I'm still a good person ... I walk over to help. It's my nature. I don't want anything to do with them but, for a moment ... I would help, go my way ... and not waste any insincere words with them.

I believe in peace, respect even when I truly 'hate' someone. I won't be the one to mistreat them nor do I seek revenge. I'm hoping nothing ever so bad happens to make me act in the opposite way I am ... because someone would 'have pure Hell to pay'. I truly could have become that person growing up ... was becoming ... I was growing up in revenge, hate, greed, anger.

So, how in the world did ... I ... keep from being the most awful human being who does mean, evil things to another person ... enjoy it. Laugh in glee at their discomfort, feel pleasure in letting them know ... 'I am king of this mountain' ... don't f___ with me!

I knew ... I know ... exactly how to be 'that person' but, it truly isn't ME.

My favorite one 'cuss word' is ... 'damn!' (I earned that word as a little girl when my beautiful mother tried her best to wash it right out of my mouth ... I hid it with my tongue ... she never did find it, it's MINE! :) :) :)

I know some more cuss words ... how could someone live in Hell and not know them. I had knowledge of things no child should have known. Today ... that's a good thing because ...

Because through time ... it taught ME how I ... didn't ever want to be. Damn! (yes, that's MY word, I told you!) ... Damn! I have finally reached the point of worrying about fictitious characters' feelings! I don't want them to hurt, bleed, cry, die ... anymore.

Damn! What's up with that?

Note by this Author:

Well, as Tommy would say if he were here at this very moment ... 'well damn, Mom!' I can hear him all the way to Heaven laughing at his silly mother!.

Now ... I really have found a distaste for writing scary, evil things recently. I just can't do it ... for now. Why? I don't know. I thought by writing about it I would find an answer. The answer didn't come this time when writing.

Maybe ... just maybe I am wishing the for-real ... impossible. I wish bad things didn't happen to people ... animals. It breaks my very heart.

I am realistic ... I face Life just like it really is. I learned to meet it head-on so, I could go ahead ... live. Oh my, my , my. In my life time I have shed more tears than smiles. I've loved with my very Heart ... when I never meant to . If I hadn't loved ... I wouldn't have ever had to cry.

So, I'll see what I write about ... truly ... I don't care as long as my fingers are tapping on the keys, and my mind is on a roll ... it's like flying .... flying with words not wings. Flying with words not wings.

Written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates. Photo owned by ME, also. Skip Bates Tommy M Sidden Gloria Bates Colors

Photo is of my Tommy Dragonfly Tattoo I had done in Memory of my only child, my son ... Tommy M Sidden who died May 29, 2010 at Myrtle Beach ... collapsing on the soft sand as he ran with his young son while playing, laughing ... he went to Heaven hearing the ocean waves ... seagulls sing. My son had 3 blockages to his heart ... no one ever knew.

Just ... Be Careful

I want to share my words here that I wrote this morning on MyLot.com where I write. I think they are very important, even to offering advice to families, people who are there for the other ... to use. That's to have a secret password, emergency word to alert the others something isn't right, danger. This way no one has to draw attention and can look without being noticed ... react according to the situation at hand. This is only from me ... I'm no expert on anything excepting ME.


I think my heart felt a little funny just now listening to the news. Especially when there's mention of the coronavirus, fear of pandemic.

I heard it on the news then, Googled it. It makes me feel alarm ... different from feeling panic. Just alert.

I think almost everywhere people have moved from other places, countries. People here, there ... are always mobile now. It's hard to not know someone who travels, flies constantly ... therefore, they are exposed to more than they know. We, who don't travel now ... are exposed to ... being around friends, acquaintances, strangers.

Here where I live is a huge hub ... everyone from everywhere in this world has moved here, are constantly moving here everyday. Good jobs, living, climate. So many new homes, apartment buildings and such through the past years ... it amazes me at such growth ... rapid growth over time ... and it hasn't slowed down one bit.

One can't escape meeting someone even going out for a simple errand. The thought is always in the back of my mind to be careful.

Just what does the words 'be careful' mean? Really, what does the words be careful mean when you go out from your home to grocery shop, enjoy a meal out, go to a movie, shop?

You are going to breathe the air others breathe, cough in ... and be exposed to all in the air. I know Skip and I are pretty much home-bodies not going out all the time. It doesn't matter ... we could go out at the 'wrong' time. You could do the same.

It's like all the shootings here now ... every day, night ... someone kills someone here ... it's always close to us. People now mug, rob others at ATM machines, in Walmart parking lots ... at supermarkets, just everywhere.

All we can say is, "it's here now ... it finally got here from the west coast". The reason we say it like that is because for years we traveled all over the country on a tractor-trailer knowing what was going on everywhere. It wasn't like this 'at home' ... then.

I used to be so shocked over all the drive-by shootings in LA. Skip told me that one day 'it would be here' ... sure enough, it's here 'big time'.

The locals are almost gone ... I rarely see them anymore. Everyone is from somewhere else. Of course, where people go ... crime follows. The wolves follow the herd ... this thought is always in the back of my mind. Predators always lurk on the outskirts of humanity.

Oh my, that doesn't count the sex trafficking here now. I can't believe how rampant it is ... and things happen in the parking lots of Walmart. Just in the 'used to be' innocent places we've all enjoyed pretty much safety at. Now ... if you don't at least be aware of your surroundings ... you could become a victim.

Now ... having just touched on a few things that are ... yes, that are alarming ... should I be afraid to leave my home?

No ... no, no. I refuse to give up ... because I know there are good people as well as the evil, vile ... mean people in this world. If all the good people shut themselves away ... they would give evil the whole world ... no one good could ever enjoy anything ... they would always be hiding.

Like many people who are good people ... Skip and I are good people. We care, we love everyone but, we aren't naive. We know 'good' people do evil too. An innocent smile, being so nice doesn't always mean someone really is like that. We've been around, traveled so much ... sadly we know better.

We are going to keep going out from home, enjoy life ... we will ... be careful. Just what the words mean ... be careful. We aren't going to live in fear, afraid of our shadow.

We keep an eye on all around us, though at times we forget ... we have an 'emergency word' we would say to alert the other to danger, something unusual. We would react accordingly ... to what the situation called for.

I would like to make a suggestion to people, families ... have one word that means 'danger, something not right, unusual' for all to whisper, say to the other without drawing attention if ... you see something, sense something you can't speak aloud about, draw attention to yourself. Maybe have a plan ... we 'sort of' have a 'plan'.

So, here's to us all going outside our homes to enjoy life as always for as long as we can (some people aren't so fortunate such as people in war-torn countries that breaks my Heart). In today's time ... no matter what ... when ... where ... we really do ... have to be careful.

Be careful crossing the road in traffic, be careful not isolating yourselves, be careful not to fall out the window, balcony ... be careful not to get burned by fire.

You know ... we've always been told ... be careful of so much since we were babies. So, 'be careful' is exactly what these two words mean ... no more, no less.

Now ... having written this ... my mind wants to begin writing a 'scary' story, ha! That's ME. I won't begin to write it here. I'm just writing what I think 'be careful' means in a good way ... not to scare anyone ... only to bring self-awareness when you go out from your home. We even have to ... be careful ... at home.

Note: When I write ... I write to myself as well as write for others to read. Sometimes, writing is a problem-solver for me ... or making myself think ... and if someone reads and gets anything positive at all from it ... it is a good thing.

Letting Go ... Feels Good

My Things Had Become Strangers To Me ... written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates Gloria Bates Colors



Well, this makes probably the 4th-5th pickup load of 'stuff' ... treasured things I've kept for many years ... I have 'let go' of.

It wasn't, it hasn't been easy to arrive at such a mindset I'll tell you. I will tell you this ... since I've come to such a mindset I was very surprised at how easy it became to 'let go'.

I tested myself this way ... I went out to where I had stacked all very neatly ... stood, looked at it all expecting to feel big tugs at my Heart over something I had held special, treasured to my Heart. I didn't feel ... anything. My things had become ... strangers to ME. It WAS time to for-real ... let go.

Instead of feeling sad ... and rushing to 'save this, save that' ... I made myself walk over ... handle things, think about each. I saw only 3 things I decided to keep out of 'millions' of things. That was a purple/green cowl scarf (my lucky colors) ... one sweater, one shirt. Amazing ... as I loved all my ... stuff.

I will say all my things were very important to ME ... it's strange ... the more I learn in Life I realize I don't need all the material things we think we have to have in Life.

I have realized that letting go means ... freedom. Freedom ... space to be whatever I want it to be. Space to move, breathe in ... to stand, take deep breaths of relief knowing my life is lighter for it. Not only that ... I chose the person I wanted to have them because of all she does for others ... I felt she would enjoy going through, choosing whatever she wanted to keep, treasure. That makes me feel good because all my things were nice, not junk.

Why don't I want to keep all ... leave them to family as everyone else does? There's no one left in my immediate family to do that ... no one like my own child to have, treasure one day ... to hold dear anything I had ... knowing I was his mother so, my things would become most special to him.

Have you ever thought that one day ... all your family could just die quickly ... leaving you behind with only grief, sadness in your Heart? Oh my, who would have thought so many would die in such a short period of time. What is truly sad is ... their deaths weren't in any way natural, normal.

I've written through time about my life ... so much grief, pain ... tears. Thankfully ... I strive to always be as positive as possible. If I fail for a time ... I know in my Heart it is only a matter of time ... I will be positive again.

Sometimes ... I think I try on negativity just like trying on an ugly dress ... knowing I'm going to take it off ... but, get to feel what it looks like for a short time to make me appreciate the beauty of ... at least being as positive as possible.

For that short time of 'trying on' ... I can have the freedom of thinking mean, ugly things ... say them ... then 'let go' ... take off that ugly, horrible dress ... go on with Life. It's easier said than done but, somehow I manage ... because I mean to go to my grave a good person ... one who isn't a negative, hateful, mean, ugly ... disgusting old ... bitch.

Sometimes like everyone I know ... I CAN be a bitch but, I'm not really one. Sometimes ... Life can make us be like that no matter how good our intentions are. Sometimes, even the nicest, best person has to hold their ground, speak their mind ... make boundaries for others not to cross ... demand respect, protect others.

How in the world can one be 'beautiful' doing that? Sometimes in Life, we have to be fierce ... be a force. Think about protecting your child, pet, family, friends ... you are going to turn into the most fierce force ever to 'save them'. That's my nature ... I am protective and I 'walk through fire' never thinking first. I walk into the fire meaning to ... save, protect. Love is the most powerful force in this world though sometimes it seems the opposite is true ... especially now.

This morning I have been looking around ... to see if anymore of my things have become ... strangers to ME.