Sunday, May 24, 2015

Don't Judge Me by my Characters ...

Don't Judge Me by my Characters ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


When I write, I don't want to have to worry about what my characters will say.  I write, I let them be themselves without worrying I'll be judged for what they do, say.

My characters have their own distinct personalities.  Some are very nice, some are ugly, some are bitchy, and just downright nasty.  Some of them will say things that I don't want to reflect back on me, the author.

I am writing this not to apologize for my characters when some of them talk, act ugly.  I write this to ask you to not let my characters ... reflect on me.  Don't judge me by my characters.

It would be like your adult child showing his ass ... and everyone think bad of you.  Or, your uncle goes crazy in a bookstore, shoots everyone ... it isn't fair for someone to look down on you for their actions.

I get caught up in writing not thinking about what my readers are going to think of me.  Once in a while like at this moment, I become aware of how one of my characters thought, spoke ... in my last story ... while writing her.

Did you read my story 'God Told Margaret To Help Others On Their Way ... She Did'?  Well, Margaret said a few ugly words in that story.

At this moment as I become aware of how she spoke ... I think to myself I hope my readers don't think I'm like that.  So ... every once in a while I stop to tell my readers not to judge me by my characters.

I can't write to please everyone ... and there are times when I write, there are going to be several 'ugly' words.  It's not me ... to write many ugly words.

I have several I use that most people use daily.  That's when I'm ... me.  That's when I'm my own ... character.  I'm a good person who will say an ugly word or two, but never meaning them in a bad way.  Well ... not usually.  :)

I can't predict how my characters in my stories are going to act, talk.  When I am in their world ... I am painting with words what I see, hear.

Sometimes, I am typing words so fast that lots of time goes by before ... I come back to my own world.  I begin reading what I've written, seen in ... their world.  Sometimes ... I cringe when I see what a character has done ... said.

I couldn't be true to myself if I began trying to clean up my characters ... making them into something they aren't.  They wouldn't be anyone I knew if I did ... so, how could I write them?

I write what I feel as I see the world through my characters' eyes.  I find myself tearful, or laughing ... angry, happy with ... for them.  I become ... them.  I don't like sometimes what they say or do.

I stop now.  I wrote this to my readers so, they can understand me.  I am my characters sometimes, but ... not all the time.  Some of them I don't like at all ... wouldn't associate with.  I write this to ask you ... don't judge me by my characters.

Photos/my written note to my readers ... are owned by me. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

God Told Margaret To Help Others On Their Way ... She Did

God Told Margaret To Help Others On Their Way ... She Did


This is a fictional story about a devious woman who ... did God's work in helping others to ... come home.  When God needed someone in his flock to tend sheep ... he depended on Margaret.  Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee.


  Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee




She didn't look like much.  No one paid her any mind.  When she spoke, her voice didn't match her appearance.  One would take a second look at her ... for a moment they knew she was ...

Still, it didn't make any difference ... she didn't look any better.  But ... that was the defining moment if one was alert enough ... to know she was very slick.  That was the moment one would know ... this woman's no dummy.

She went about life in her simple, country way smiling, greeting others, "Hello!  how are yall?"  Yes, she was thought highly of, this little simple lady from the community.  No one knew ...

Margaret went to church every Wednesday night, Sunday morning, Sunday night.  She was big in her church.  Margaret was a God-fearing woman.

She never missed a day from her third shift job.  She worked hard at her job ... and taking care of her disabled boyfriend of seven years.  They lived together.

Damn!  He lived longer than she meant for him to.  She was taking too good of care of him! Unknowing to him ... she had taken out an insurance policy at the beginning of their relationship.

She began taking longer to get home from work to give him medicine as his health began to decline. No one knew she was helping him to go to Heaven quicker.  She knew God needed him!

Be damned, she was going to help God get him quicker.  If she had anything to do with it ... and she did ... God would see him within the month.  No one would be the wiser.

She woke up on Sunday morning, walked into the bedroom where he slept.  Her eyes traveled to the bed ... scanned over the frail figure that lay half under blankets.  She looked at his face ... froze.

God!  You did it!  You came to get your child!  She began a happy dance.  He was in a better place now ... he couldn't see her dancing.

She stopped dancing, looked up suspiciously ... to see if she saw any evidence of a spirit hanging around.  She'd always heard when someone died, their spirit would be above the body ... watching!

Margaret tested the air above the corpse with her hand ... just to be safe ... felt nothing.  She broke out into another happy dance ... to the tune of $150,000!

Margaret took care of the funeral arrangements.  She lapped up condolences just as a cat lapped up good, cold milk.  Damn, it sure felt good.  I have done good ... my friends, family know it, too.

She didn't let anyone know about the $150,000 life insurance policy... she did let them know that she got a ... $5,000 life insurance policy.  Just enough to take care of the funeral arrangements, provided she had him cremated.  No frills, no thrills.

Margaret wanted a new car ... she would tell them that she made a down payment ... they'd never know she paid cash, owned her car.

Red cars, blue cars, convertibles ... she was looking at new cars.  She wanted a new car.  She selected a small car for $20,000.  Now, she was in business ... time to find someone to take care of.

The following Sunday Margaret was sitting 2 pews behind a gentlemen she knew from childhood. He was divorced, in bad health.  He constantly burped, even while in church.  She saw how other people would pretend not to hear him.

A light went off in Margaret's mind ... God told her ... she needed to take care of this man.  Take care of him, she would.

Margaret made it a point to be behind this man known as Charles.  She pretended to trip, fell against him.  Margaret began apologizing profusely.  "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I fell on you"!

Charles helped her get her composure ... old Margaret had made the first move.  It was paying off.  Charles was patting her, calming her down.  Margaret played it up ... her ankle was hurt.  She needed to sit down.  Guess who helped her?

Charles, though he walked on a cane ... helped her to sit down on the back pew of the church.  He sat beside her.  A smell came from him as the air moved around them.  He must have peed himself.

Margaret was disgusted at the smell, but ... God had pointed out this man to her.  She had to do what God wanted her to do.  Tears rolled down her cheeks ... tears at the nasty smell.  She didn't like filth ... didn't like it at all.  His ass was going to get cleaned!

Charles watched her ... she wasn't anything to look at.  He did have a soft heart when it came to a woman crying.  He knew she was in pain.  He felt sorry for her.  He gave her a quick, gentle hug.

Margaret felt like she was drowning in a sea of piss!  She let out a moan, he let go of her quickly.  Did I hurt you when I hugged you, he asked.  Margaret smiled a sweet, little smile nodding her head, telling him it was all right.  She knew he didn't mean to hurt her.

That was the beginning of a nine month relationship ... Margaret and Charles ... fell in love.  Margaret took care of Charles just like God wanted her to.  Charles's health began to decline.  He began getting fluid in his lungs.

Margaret took good care of Charles.  See, the whole community knew Margaret was a good woman ... a good woman just like her mother, Bertha.

All through the years, Bertha had taken care of the disabled members of the community.  Why some of them even left land, money to Bertha.  What a good woman Bertha was.  Here was her daughter, Margaret ... she was taught well.

Yes, God spoke to these women.  They were good women, pillars of the community.

God began speaking to Margaret.  He told her he needed Charles to come home soon.  Needed him in his flock to tend his sheep.  Come home, Charles, I need you.

Margaret began neglecting giving Charles his medicine.  He never knew the difference.  He never knew his death would mean another $150,000 to Margaret.  She cared for him until the morning she found him asleep in death.

She stood in the doorway, smiled at him.  Why Charles you look so good in death!  I didn't know you were so handsome!  All the years had fell from Charles's face ...

Margaret walked over to him, kissed him on the lips.  Old Charles didn't smell like piss now, he smelled like he had shit himself ... Margaret backed up in disgust.

Damn it ... when she met him, he smelled like piss ... she cleaned his ass up ... and just when he left the world, he had to leave the smell of shit behind!  For her ... to clean up!  Was he leaving her a message?

Regardless ... Margaret was now $150,000 richer.  She had earned it by doing God's work.  All she had to do now was ... to get funeral arrangements made for Charles.

The community gathered around Margaret.  She had shoulders to cry on ... good foods to eat ... people slipped money to her.  Why old Margaret was a good woman.  She cared for people no one else wanted to care for.  Yes, what a good woman Margaret was.

Months went by ... fall time came.  Margaret lived by herself.  She was tired of taking care of others ... she was tired of the nasty smells ... the unpleasant sounds.

God was telling Margaret that she needed to find someone else to take care of.  No!  Margaret was tired of taking care of others ... she wanted to be taken care of.

Margaret was having too much fun spending money, traveling.  She was leading a secret life.  No one had any idea that Margaret was other than she ... looked.

A simple, country girl ... yeah, once in a while someone would take a second look at Margaret when she spoke ... they went on to forget that for a moment they'd picked up on Margaret ... on how smart Margaret was.

All they had to do to forget ... was to look at her ... no, Margaret was just a simple person.  A good person just like old Bertha, her mother.

One day while out shopping, Margaret came across a disabled man in a wheelchair.  He was sitting in front of Walmart, smoking a cigarette.  One could tell looking at him that he didn't have anyone to care about him.  His clothes had stains, his hair was in disarray.

Margaret stopped a few feet from him, pretending she didn't see him.  God was poking her ... telling her this was the man.  He told her he wanted her to take care of this man ... he wouldn't make her do it long because he needed him in his flock.

Dollar signs appeared in Margaret's mind ... she saw herself doing a happy dance to the tune of big money.  She began to smile ... she knew she had work to do.  God needed her to help his chosen to come home.  Margaret was a good woman ... it was time once again to do what God wanted her to do.

Margaret walked up to the disabled man sitting in his wheelchair.  The man looked at her, blew a smoke ring.  He saw a simple, sweet-looking country woman walking toward him.

He smiled when she spoke to him ... just for a second he looked closer at her ... something about her voice didn't ... then, his eyes were drawn to her sweet country girl face.

They were attracted to each other instantly.  Over a short time, they knew they were meant for each other.

John was happy he had met Margaret.  His life had changed ... he felt like he was going to Heaven. Maybe he was already in Heaven.  He felt God smile down on him.  He saw Margaret smiling at him. He smiled ...

In fact, that was the last thing John saw.



Note by this author:  Photos/ and this fictional story are both owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee













Friday, May 22, 2015

Why Are Some People Narcissistic?

Why Are Some People Narcissistic?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee




Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee



'Nar.cis.sis.tic ... having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.'

Almost everyone has some narcissistic traits.  I copied the definition of narcissistic online at http://www.halcyon.com .  The definition goes on to explain more in depth about narcissism ... it's complex.

Do you have a narcissistic trait?  I bet you have one ... or two.  I'm ashamed ... no, not ashamed ... to say I did as a younger woman.

Let me give you a little history of how that came to be ... with me.  No one is the same.  I was a 'good' narcissistic ... meaning I didn't take advantage of others to get what I wanted such as men, material things ... etc.  I didn't let what I thought of myself hurt anyone.  I was just so happy to ... be me.




That doesn't look right. I don't want that to show.  I almost let people see this!  Oh God, I did let people see this!  They'll know I'm not ... perfect!  Woe is me!  I've got to make this look ... perfect!

I turn this way, that way in the mirror.  Oh God, how beautiful I am, I'm so thankful to finally be beautiful!  I can't believe how pretty I've become!





Touching my face, my body ... perfect ... perfect enough for me to feel happiness.  Starving, doing without food ... constantly exercising ... it feels wonderful to be ... beautiful.  After all, isn't that what life's about?  I'm a person ... I'm somebody!  I'm ... beautiful!

I wish there was a 'Delete' button in every aspect of our life so we could delete anything we didn't want in our life.  I don't mean to kill or harm anything ... but, just send it along its way to someone who wants it in their life.

There was a time I used to be narcissistic in my life.  It's true.  I grew up to look like I wished to ... 'beautiful like my mother'.

 
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


I loved me, I pure-loved to be photographed, I loved to dress my body.  I knew I looked beautiful in most anything.

It was all about me in my world ... but, I didn't forget to do good things along the way.  I cared, loved people at the same time.

I had a big Heart.  My 'best friend' was jealous of me ... I was blinded to that ... I loved her dearly.  One day my mother pulled me aside to make me aware ...

You can't have a best friend who is real, when ... you are 'beautiful'.  In my world, you couldn't.  They become jealous, resentful ... and want everything you have.  My best friend even tried to take my mother by talking bad about me.  My mother knew.

I dressed my body in the most beautiful clothes.  It's true ... I was like that.  I wasn't 'bad' because I was like this.  I should have been ... no, I shouldn't have been.

(There's a little Gloria Devil sitting on my left shoulder saying I should have been.  The little Gloria Devil is the one who loves to kick ass, pay someone back and not be nice about it ... it's a good thing I try never to listen to her :)

I try to listen to the Gloria Angel on my right shoulder.  When I don't, I'm not happy.  Sometimes ...

Women hated me, men loved me.  The strange thing is ... women didn't have to hate me.  Jealousy made them hate me ... they automatically thought I would 'go after their man'.  They ... automatically ... thought wrong.  But ... you couldn't tell them that.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


You couldn't tell them I wasn't like that.  You couldn't tell them that I grew up where all the women were beautiful ... and wild.  They didn't mind going with another woman's husband, boyfriend.  I saw a lot of grief in my young life ... you couldn't tell them I didn't want to be like that.  Beautiful, yes ... but, not in a bad way.

I made a mistake once ... my 'best'friend and husband lied to me about one of their friends.  They said he wasn't married, the man said he wasn't married.  I dated him ... later found out he was married.

I will never forget the hurt I unintentionally caused that lady.  I told her ... myself.  I knew how it felt, I had experienced such as a young, married girl.  I cried for her ... I was lied to.

I know my 'best' friend loved it.  She liked setting people up to see what happened.  That must have given her immense pleasure.  I didn't cause her grief, I minded my business.  I could have destroyed her marriage, life.  I went my own way.

You couldn't tell every woman ... 'hey, I'm not interested in your life, your husband, boyfriend'.  They already made their minds up on my appearance.  Too pretty, too beautiful ... she's got to be bad.  Well, I can understand that way of thinking.

I came from a family where one did have to worry when they met up with beautiful women in my family.  They weren't always honest, sincere ... faithful.  It's the truth no matter which way you look at it.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee



Beautiful women ... men ... dangerous combination.  No matter whose man ... life is like that ... deal with it.  I know you don't like it, neither do I ... life is like that.  Nature ... animals ... summertime ... everything comes alive.  Life is like that.

The beautiful women in my family ... were/are the best friends you didn't want to have.  Sad, but true.  Deceit, always something hidden in ways no one saw. Oh my wonderful, loyal friend ... no one needs a friend like this.  Stick with your enemies ... at least they let you know up front how they really are.

Expressions, touch ... you get my drift. Secrets ... everything's a secret ... more secrets.  Sh-hhh-hh don't tell this, don't tell that.  Blackmail was one of the games played when I was a little girl.  May the best man win ... oh ... no, may the best woman win! It was played just as often as Scrabble, Monopoly was being played in every home.

If one of the women got pissed off ... they would begin to blackmail the other.  I'm going to tell this, that ... if you don't give in to my demands!  They were my role models ... a lot of the children's role models at my Grandma Alma's home where we were thrown to, while the mothers just took off to come back ... months later.

I can 'see' it, I know what to see, look for, listen for ... I know all the tricks.  I don't let anyone know that I do ... I just smile, go on.  I've been there, done that ... seen that, felt the grief from having it done to me.  I don't play games with anyone ... they hurt, destroy.  When I take action, I just simply mean it, once and for all.  I don't play games.

I could have ... caused a lot of grief in a lot of women's lives.  As much as I 'hated' women growing up ... it's a wonder I didn't try to pay 'all women' back for all I suffered growing up ... from a woman's hand.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee  (Photo of me in blue is damaged by fire... black spots on face)  ... my beautiful mother in white blouse on left.  Daisy Earlene Strother ...



No one knew that growing up ... I watched, listened, suffered from things 'women did' because of deceit, lies, ugliness ... all stemming from ... beauty.  They made me lie, hide things ... be a part of things as a little girl. I didn't want to be a part of it.

All I wanted to do ... was be a little girl.  I didn't want to be in the ... grown up world.  Pure Hell ... always hell-raising.  At any moment, hell would break loose.  This little girl was always in the middle of it ... no choice.

If the women weren't making my life Hell ... there was always a man's hand ... somewhere ... ready to reach out to help take my innocence away.  Men who were 'somebody' ... in the family, out of the family.  Everyone looked up to these men ... I did too, a little innocent girl who ... had no choice.  No choice, no words to describe why I cried, hurt.

I grew up with a fear when a man's hand reached out to me, until I understood not every man meant 'bad'.  I prefer men over women any day.  They are usually more honest, straightforward ... like me.

Women on the other hand ... I didn't grow up to learn they were all good, wonderful, trusting people. Women ... are different.  There are only a few women I truly respect, love and care about.  That means they are for-real good people ... I can count them on my hand.

I'm amazed by them because they are for-real good people ... unique people.  They've been good to me when they didn't have to ... cared when they didn't have to.  Cared while I never knew.  They are in my Heart always.

I haven't always known such caring from ... women. Some of these women aren't even from this country ... they've touched my very soul, my Heart at the deepest.  I love them.  In my whole life, only my grandmothers were like them, to me.  They've been gone many years.

I began telling you about narcissism ... my narcissism as a young woman.  Maybe this can explain just enough 'why' beauty meant so much to me, then.  I learned at an early age that I wanted to be beautiful ... beauty meant power.  It does in today's time.  Whether you or me ... like it or not ... beauty means power.



Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee ... and Stafford, my Rottie ...


Power to me meant I didn't have to let anyone bully me, run over me, push over me.  I was ... 'beautiful enough' ... people respected me.  When I walked into a room ... I became the focus.  I was beautiful 'enough' to keep people from hurting me.

No matter I was a good person, faithful, not deceitful ... a real person ... when I appeared ... women saw me as a threat.  I look back now ... some of those women would have deserved it ... if I had been.  Too bad I wasn't a wicked female ...

Just maybe ... that's ... why ... the beautiful women in my family caused other women such grief.  Because some of them deserved it. I just didn't have the desire to because ...

I learned to love myself ... my body.  I was kicked around as a child, slapped, beaten, thrown ... because I was my father's child. I knew how pain felt from losing everything as a child, everyone angry wanting to slap, knock me around.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


I always knew that everything good was meant for other kids ... no point in me thinking about it ... when I heard, read something good about kids ... I knew it didn't mean me.  I accepted that as a little girl.  No, it didn't mean me.

I knew something so special to other little girls like a Barbie doll ... wasn't something I would ever have.  Something as special as being in the Girl Scouts wasn't meant for me to be in.  I wasn't good enough.  All the wonderful children's movies at the theater ... no, it wasn't meant for me.  I was nobody.

I was my father's child, that was for sure.  Who in the hell was this man who was called my father ... who caused me such grief as a little girl?  Why was I slapped in the face when a certain expression crossed it?

Anger, screaming words came at me like shooting a pistol non-stop ...  'you look like your damned father'!  The all-powerful slap came next ... I was lucky if I wasn't thrown around, slapped.

One aunt in particular beat me unmerciful ... to the extent of picking up a piece of firewood, beating me until blood ran on my arms, legs.  She hurt me really bad, physically ... mentally.  I had loved her with my very Heart.



Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


Her long fingernails scratched my face, got caught in my curly hair.  Sweat, anger, fire ... blind, stunned, shocked at being thrown around hitting furniture ... odor of blood like smelling pennies.  Hell breaking loose ... I was a rag doll in her hands.  I wasn't big enough to fight back.

That was once of the worse beatings I ever had ... she tried to blackmail me with a little Timex watch.  She thought as a little girl I would gladly take her damn watch ... never let my mother know what she did to me.  My mother tore into her at a later date ... it was bad.

Why did she do that to me?  She was an angry teenage girl ... I peeped into her wonderful bedroom ... it held a record player ... music!  Wonderful music!  I paid for that.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee and Skip



I wasn't the only grandchild who was fascinated by her bedroom ... the record player, records!  Music!  I know she screamed at them, I don't think she beat the other children who were my cousins ... they had their mother ... they all lived next door. Their mother would have kicked her ass ... being her older sister, also.

My mother took off and was gone for months ... it was what she did as a young woman.  It left me to the mercy of all those around me ... no protection for a little girl.

So, when I became a beautiful young lady ... would you believe I didn't know it?  I was living in another home of Hell ... my father's home.




Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee ... with my father, whom I never met until the age of  9.  I look at this photo ... he seemed so proud, happy to see me. I never saw that expression before or after this photo.  This photo stands out to me ... how amazing.


His home was a wonderful home, spotless clean (oh, how I loved that!), laughter, joking ... fun. Everybody's feelings were important.  The only thing was ... I wasn't a part of it.  I was resented.  My father was afraid of me ... he couldn't talk to me.

There wasn't any place for me as a child to know calm, peace, quiet.  I never felt good about me.  I hated myself, and several times I did try to die.  Hell from every direction.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


When I ran away from my father's home ... I began to realize how pretty I had become.  My father, living in his home ... had numbed me to myself.

I lived in a wonderful home ... I was the only un-wonderful thing there ... I was my beautiful mother's child.  I truly wasn't wanted.  I won't go into all of that.  I give you credit for that wonderful imagination we all have.

Boys whistled at me ... I remember the first time.  I turned to look at who was being whistled at.  I didn't see anyone.  Do you know what I did?  I just looked down, went on doing what I was doing ... I knew they weren't whistling at me.  I was nobody.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


My mother made me aware at how beautiful I was.  She was so proud of me!  She let me wear her clothes ... I was amazed when they fit me ... perfectly!  She was so beautiful, small with a perfect figure!

Oh my!  When she made me put on something of hers to show me I could wear them ... that was all it took!  My eyes began opening ... I had wanted to be a fashion designer ... why ... I had my own body to dress now!  I was beautiful!

Can you even imagine a young girl discovering she was what she wished to be ... blind to the fact she was long before she realized it?

Getting back to narcissism ... I was to a degree.  Just enough that in my mind, I didn't have to 'take any s___' from anyone.  People just don't treat beautiful people ... ugly.  They don't.  Think about it.

When I dressed my body, walked and talked with confidence ... I won't even begin to describe how wonderful life was, how special I was treated.  I loved myself ... why I was perfect ... perfect for myself to be happy with.  I finally loved myself, until ...



I eloped to get married.  Fourteen years of marriage ... a young girl isolated in the grown up world ... left alone.  Alone ... while her husband took off to be with other women.

His friends came around to 'see him' ... knowing he was gone.  I became afraid again ... no one was around to protect me ... I was 14 miles either way from any town.  I had grown up in town ... there were night lights, traffic, people.  There was only the deep, pitch-black darkness at nights in the countryside ... strange sounds.

I became most unhappy, angry, afraid.  I wasn't anybody again.  Just some wife sitting home waiting for a husband who couldn't be faithful.  I gained weight ... never realizing it.  No one treated me the same anymore ... the weight hid the beauty I had.  I was still pretty, but ... I didn't know it anymore.

 
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


His friends did ... they kept stopping by making me afraid.  They would stare at me, make comments ... I should have taken them up ... but, I wasn't like that.

I couldn't cheat.  I should have done that, too.  I didn't.  I should have paid the women back in my young life, and cheated like Hell ... something in me ... I couldn't do it.  I thought about it.  If I'd been like my family ... I would have been 'bad' to the bone, and some asses ... would have been fixed.  I wasn't like them ... what went wrong ... right?

I'm still at an age that I wonder about being good as possible.  It seems life is very good for bad, dishonest, deceitful people.  They don't lack for anything ... they don't have to worry.  The world is at their fingertips.  They don't have to go without ... they can do bad, and have everything they need.

    Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


Sometimes, I tell Skip that being bad ... is good.  I really don't mean that when I say such.  It's that we've been through so many things in our older years ... we've always tried to be good people, make up for any mistakes we have made through the years.

We aren't going to change ... being good is being good ... and we can live with that good feeling inside.  That's what making mistakes is all about ... going from them to be the best person you can be.  Learn from your mistakes.

When I came out of that marriage ... I became like a swan ... beauty came back.  I could smile at the world, I was my own person ... everyone loved me again.

Narcissistic ... how other people became that way, I don't know.  I know why I was like that.  I had finally come to love myself, feel like 'somebody'.  We all have 'things' in us from childhood.  That was one of mine.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


I didn't think I was better than anyone ... how could I have been better?  I didn't come from people known as better people.  I didn't think I was more beautiful than anyone ... but, I was beautiful enough for me to like myself, be happy each day to wear beautiful clothes.  It meant the world to finally like, love myself.

I think being narcissistic in my case is/was different ... from the people who 'have it bad' :)  Mine was more innocent in a way to just measure up, compare with the beautiful women in our family.  I did ... no doubt.  I am a ... has-been ... but, the fact is ... I was.  My photos validate it.  I am proud of them.


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


I'm thankful the photos survived the house fire.  Now, I leave them in cyberspace for my grandchildren to see for themselves one day.  I probably won't ever see them in this life.  They can be proud their grandmother was at least somebody ... to look at.  :)

 Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee 


This is my take on ... narcissism in my life.  There was a time I was narcissistic.  This is ... why.  Why are other people narcissistic?  Why are you?  What shaped you to be in your life?

  
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee with All My Children star...


'Nar.cis.sis.tic ... having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.'


Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee with All My Children star


Note by this Author:

All photos/true story are owned, written by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  I used to be narcissistic ... in a good way.  I was so happy to just be beautiful like the women in my family.  It meant people treated me good, always making over me.  It meant the world to me.  

Thursday, May 21, 2015

God ... Who Knows Why?

God ... Who Knows Why?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee



Gift from our Friend, Cindy ... she made it for us.



I spent a lot of time in the 'dark world' ... I call it that because ... I know no other words to describe it.

The dark world is a place where I went to (I'm sure many, many people have been there ... but, I can only speak for myself) when I've been in shock, deathly ill, and when I lost my only child.

This is a place where I went to ...  didn't have to face the world ... my mind, body, soul was numb.  I could no longer be me ... as others knew me.  I wasn't able to function, make decisions, talk, be around people in a strong, good, healthy way.

I wasn't able to help myself, excepting for the personal things as bathing, such things.  Whatever was happening to me at each time ... was ... too much to bear.

My soul, body, mind had been stunned, shocked until I was only able to stay in the darkness that protected me.  A safe mode in a way of speaking.

I stayed in darkness to hide until the day came that I could be strong enough to begin coming back out to the light.  All the time ... death is/was close by ... hoping to find a way to take me away.  Somehow, no matter what ... I have been stronger.  I still live.

Truthfully, I wasn't aware of time going by ... I was seeing inward ... not outward.  I don't truthfully ... know how I knew when it was time to come out.  When I did, I would face yet another battle to ... stay out of the darkness.

Life, light so harsh met me ... to the point I would want to go back into darkness, not face it.  I made it each time ... I'm here now, as you can see.

I have faced many 'bad' things on my roads to travel in my life.  I have traveled on  a lot of those treacherous roads to realize that ... that kind of life wasn't for me ... when I turned to come back, start over ... no one would believe the obstacles placed on my paths.  I beat them ... I am here now.

Nothing was easy ... ever.  How am I here today ... just from life's roads I've been on, should have never begun to travel in the first place?  Then ... from all that's happened through time as I got older.

I have experienced many 'bad' things.  The normal person never goes through so much.  I don't know if they could ... be here now ... and be all right.  I am here now, and I'm for-real all right.

As a young person we are fooled by wonderful things ... we are seduced by people who are older, richer, 'somebody' in life'.   They are 'God' ... like a Pied Piper ... we follow them as they whistle through life, never seeing ... knowing until ... we are woke up.  Shock, pain ... grief.

We believe, we trust ... as a young person ... in the wrong things.  They cause us grief later.  Things have a way of coming back, biting us in the ass.  We were too innocent to see it coming for us.  We learn our life lessons the hard way.

Only the ones who have had a perfect life wouldn't understand this.  I'm not even talking to you.  I don't have any interest in you ... your life can't in any way compare to mine.  We don't have a thing to talk about.

So, you stay in your wonderful, perfect world where you are safe, protected from life, people ... stay packaged in your soft cotton world.  I've never known such any longer than 5 minutes.  I've always walked the tightrope in life ... somehow, I stayed balanced even when I fell ... but, it's never been a fair battle.  Besides ... I had darkness to protect me until I could face the light of the world again.  No cotton, only darkness.

But, damn it ... I'm still here.  What is so special about me?  I've seen so many for-real good people die during my time ... they had so much more going on in life than I do, or have.

A young person is faced with many choices in life ... they don't realize that all that glitters, beautiful, looks rich and inviting ... isn't always good in life.

A young person doesn't realize their peers, the ones they idolize ... look up to ... aren't perfect.  That's how a young person like myself was seduced into traveling on dangerous, scary roads in life ... blindly.  Trusting ... and oh my God, so innocent.  So ... damn innocent, so damn trusting.

I have been in shock so many times it isn't funny at all.  I have faced so many things ... how in the world am I here now?  You would never believe that I went up against the lion ... many times.

How can I brag about it when all I feel is gratefulness to be here, to have a life ... now? I feel so ... so humble.  How fortunate I am to be here today.

Once again, truthfully ... 'who am I to be here now' ... 'what is special about me to be here now'?  I'm nobody ... some people may think I am ... I'm only myself.

'Myself' ...  meaning if you are thinking 'Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee' is perfect ... go bark up another tree.  Just because I try to be a good person doesn't mean I am perfect ... I make many mistakes and I learn over, and over in this life of mine.

I am nobody but, me.  You are going to either like me, or not like me.  I'm not going to mind either way ... I'm old enough to know that real people, no matter how good/bad they are ... recognize another person who has been through life in many battles ... they are the ones to  like people like me.

I have plenty of people who like me ... in a honest way.  That's the only way ... honest meaning that old saying we've all heard through time ... I'm sure I'll get it backwards ... I always do when trying to repeat old sayings, but ... here it is:  'to know somebody is to love somebody'.

People can look into another person's eyes ... see something there the average person doesn't have.  I can 'see' it ... people can 'see' it in my eyes.

I won't describe what it is ... because something so real ... can only be seen, felt by others 'who have been there' ... who know life in the real way.  In a way the average person never does.

A tip ... hint to what 'it' is ... you will only know the secret to it from experiences you, yourself have in life.  Experiences you actually feel, see, hear all the way to your very soul.  You will begin looking for ... that something ... you will see, recognize in a person 'who has been there, too'.

I look 'deeply' into a person when they talk to me.  I pay attention to their actions when they don't know that I do.  I listen.  I know we can't always judge another just doing these things ... because we all have a bad day sometimes.  Like today ... I had a bad time when I knocked a glass of tea over.

It pissed me off to no end.  I stomped into the kitchen to get a towel, saying ugly words under my breath.  Now ... how ugly is that?  How would that appear to someone if seeing or listening to me?  See what I mean?

The past used to eat at me until years ago I learned ... I can't even remember how I learned ... to begin putting things into the past, leaving them there.  I couldn't change them  ... I could go forward though ... being the best person I could be.

All I can be is what I let myself be.  I have chosen to be good.  Oh God, suppose I had chosen to be bad ... I feel sorry for some people if I had chosen that road to stay on.  I'm being truthful.  Thank God, I have a clear conscience.

My Heart is full of love even if I don't like someone ... I still care.  Know how to test me?  If I don't have anything to do with you and you know I don't like you ... get the nerve to come speak to me ... you'll see me speak to you with respect, caring ... I'll never not speak to you.

In rare cases will I not speak back, talk to you.

If I don't speak back ... that means you and I both know ... you are truly 'bad to the bone' in the most awful way.  I don't want you in my life.  Oh ... you don't want me in yours, either.

I never knew I would be here today ... yet, I did know.  Each time I took up my battle to live ... it was with the intention of living.  I meant to live.  When I came out of shock ... darkness ... I became aware of focusing ... on seeing me doing something in the future 'when I got better'.  I got to do those things, eventually because ... I got better.  This is when I was deathly ill with cancer (non-Hodgkins lymphoma).

Where does that strength come from?  How does one know they have it?  Why do some have it, others don't?  How did ... I ... have such strength?  Why do I have it?  Who am I to have it?  Another thing, just last week the oncologist told me that I'm a cancer survivor of 16 years ... he said 98% of patients aren't here now ... who had the same thing.  Why aren't I crazy as hell 'now'?  Life has been tough.

I'm smiling at this moment.  It is a wonder I'm not crazy as hell.  I'm not ... I'm just as normal, and everyday as you ... though your life probably was most normal, average always.  I reached this point in my life by having to come the hard way.  You got here quicker, but ... I made it through all the obstacles placed in my path.  I look back, how in the 'Sam Hell' did I do it?

You can't even tell it by looking at me ... I'm so glad.  I look normal, everyday ... I promise you my life is like a movie ... it's not been like yours.  I was never a figurine to be packed in cotton, protected from all the hard things in life to crush me.  I've had to be ... real.

I began telling you about the dark world, darkness.  I ended up telling you about traveling the storms in life, surviving them.  I'm not sure I envy the people who have lived in a 'cotton-packed' world.  They are blissfully aware of only happy, wonderful things ... and expect only that.  How did their worlds get to be like that?  Who in their world was looking out for them?

Who in my world was watching out for me?  I smile, think ... I know who.  I've been shaken, rattled to the core many times in my life.  I've had to put myself back together again like Humpty Dumpty ... it's a wonder things don't just plain-ass fall off when I'm walking.  You know ... the broken parts.  :)

Yes, I know who ... has been watching over me.  I just don't know why I was chosen to be one who came this far in life the ... hard way.  God ... knows why.

I never wanted to ever be thought of as bad, mean, ugly ... I try never to be ... sometimes, like you I have had to be.

If I have had to be ... just know someone truly did something awful (I usually never bother to explain, let people think what they may ... they are going to anyway).

This brings to mind something that used to hurt me deeply, no longer does.  It happened several years ago ... it's hard to remember things since Tommy (my only child) died.

I'm thinking of a brother, and his wife, and son here ... how unfair they were to me.  I didn't have a chance to defend myself.  I have a receipt, plus family members to show I am honest.

This was when my step-father died ... he left a $5,000 policy to take care of his funeral arrangement.  He left it to me because he trusted me not to spend it when getting it ... and keep my promise.  He told me in his own words 'why' he didn't make certain ones the beneficiary of the policy.   The sole purpose of his insurance plan was to not put a burden on anyone when it came time for funeral arrangements.

I can honestly say I kept my promise ...  felt good inside about it all.  I let my step-father's sister and brother spend the money the way they wanted to at the funeral home ... there was several hundred dollars left ... his sister told me to keep it.  I did.  My stepfather had already told me that many years ago when he first took out the policy.

I'm thankful I did right ... I don't have to feel bad at all.  I was told that that the wife of that brother was angry because they didn't get the policy to spend ... she began to spread rumors saying I spent the money.  I can't tell you how stunned I was to hear that she said that.

She should have come to me, talked to me.  She didn't.  It's sad because during all the years others didn't like her, I defended her.  I always loved her ... I didn't know she hated me.  Wow ...  that does sadden me.

It hurt me deeply when I met her and her mother in the local Walmart ... both turned their backs on me.  I didn't deserve that.  I truly didn't deserve to be treated that way.  More grief on top of grief ... this shouldn't have been.  I still love her.

I don't tell Skip ... it hurts him because he knows I'm in the right.  He has always said my whole family 'hates me'.  Why?  We were born to be like that, raised up in pure hate, anger, distrust.  Especially if someone dared to be different, or tried to be a little better than where they 'came from'.  I just wanted peace in my life.

I would have been loved very much if I'd been taking drugs, or been an alcoholic, and been very loose with men.  I could have done it all ... even went down the different roads in life ... just far enough to be afraid, know I didn't want any part of that kind of life.

I can say this ... I've mistakenly thought the wrong thing about someone, felt terrible when so much time passed by, found out I was wrong.  That's an awful feeling, so much wasted time.  I hope one day she can realize that ... I don't need an apology at all.

Another thing ... she believes what she thinks ... she can't help it.  Until many years down the road will she realize she thought wrong.  So, how can I hold that against her?  We are only human.  I make my share of mistakes all the time.

Jealousy does bad things to one.  Today, after all this time ... it no longer hurts me to have been done wrong ... it no longer hurts me that I never had the chance to share the receipt.

I can say all one has to do is go speak to my step-father's sister, brother.  They are still living.  I'm sure they would be surprised this ever happened.  I never told them.  It's petty, ugly ... most of all ... sad.

I am glad to say I still have the receipt anytime someone wants to see it ... even after all these years.  I even put it on my blog several years ago so, they could see it.  No one ever told me they felt that way until one of their friends came to us ... told us.

Their friend said they were talking 'bad' about me.  They said some things that their son said ... so, I had to believe what I was told ... why?  Because the son said some of them to me on my Facebook page ... in public.  He said things he'd heard said.  He didn't know any better ... so, how can I think bad of him?

I'm going to say I'm glad their friend came to us ... I'm glad now ... they know better.  As soon as they were told ... they knew what the truth was.  See ... that friend is a friend of ours, also.  They knew better and hoped they weren't telling the truth.

Can you imagine my surprise, and Skip's when told that?  It was awful.  Have you ever been thought of in a bad way ... never knowing it?  Been innocent of those bad thoughts?  What is worse ... is when you loved them with your Heart.

This is what I meant when I said 'people are going to think what ... they want to think ... no matter what'.  I'm not ashamed of 'telling the world' about this.  That's why I used it as an example.

I'm sure a lot of you have such in your life ... in fact, I know a lot of you do.   For a time when learning such ... it can really make one feel just awful ... then time goes by ... and you get past the shock, pain ... that's where I'm at 'now'.  I feel good inside ... that's something you can't possibly fake when it's ...  'in your own Heart, soul, mind'.

Shocks, bad things, rocky roads, battling death, darkness ... the worst in life can take a person down.  A lot of people don't get back up from them ... they give up ... go on to die.  I almost didn't have the will to live a lot of times ... I wonder where my fighting spirit came from?

I can look back to see at times when I was aware I was going to fight to survive ... I can remember my very thought, it was a simple thought but, felt throughout my whole body ... it was ... 'I mean to live'.

I began then, to 'see me living' ...  to do some simple thing ... see myself doing something as simple as using a broom when my hands forgot how it felt to hold a broom.

I'll never forget the time I got out of bed, wanted to do something I used to do ... I went to the pantry, got the broom, stopped in surprise ... stared at the broom in my hands.

The broom felt hard in my hands ... my hands didn't recognize that they'd 'held many a broom' in them.

Shock ... have you ever been so close to death for so long ... to feel ... shock ... at such a simple thing?

My God ... my hands didn't know what a broom was anymore.  I walked out on the back porch.  I saw a hoe propped close by ... I remember putting my hands on it ... surprise at how it almost hurt my hands to touch it.  It felt so rough, ridges ... awful to my hands.

I remember looking up into the sky at the sunshine ... I was feeling the medicines in my body, my eyes couldn't focus good ... I went back to bed ... it wasn't time for me to do things ... yet.

If you haven't experienced these things ... you can't possibly understand my words.  In fact ... you might not can understand a lot of my words.  I promise you ... real people who live real life ... can.

People who have had Death waiting in the shadows to grab their life at any moment ... can understand.  People who have had unfair, wrong doings or something said to/about them ... can.  People who live in the real world ... no cotton packed around them to protect them from the harshness of real life ... can.

I'm speaking of real life ... about as real as one can get.  Shock, pain can numb a person's mind, body all the way to their soul.

If a person can somehow find the strength to fight like Hell ... crawl back up into life ... fight to survive each time ... no matter how many times your ass gets 'thrown again' ...  get back up, 'dust them pants off'!  you can live ...  another day!

Why?  Just why would anyone want to fight to live, you say?  I love life, I want to live.  No matter what, I'll face it head-on ... I want to live.  Why?

Something good might happen, I might be a part of it.  I might make a good difference in others' lives.  I have someone to live for ... my world, Skip and The Pups.  (Kissy and Camie).

Who knows why?  God ... knows why.
...............................................................................................................................................................



Note by this author:

All photos/stories are owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/ @grannygee

Another thing ... I shared something here that troubled, hurt me deeply.  I've often wondered 'why' it had to be like that regarding the insurance policy to take care of simple funeral arrangements?  Why did it have to affect my life in a negative way?  It's all so damn sad.





Wednesday, May 20, 2015

You Wouldn't Know Death Was Lurking over my Shoulders ... If I Didn't Tell You





    


Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... can you see Death looking over my shoulder?  Can you see the warrior in this photo?  Can you see that all isn't as it appears?  Did you know that for 16 years I couldn't look at these photos?

................................................



You Wouldn't Know Death is Lurking over my Shoulders ... If I Didn't Tell You
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee



I have been digging up old photos that I'm even fortunate enough to still have.  The house fire of December 28, 2004 burned all of our belongings.

The photos were in a big suitcase upstairs in the big, historic house we lived in.  The man who owned the house put a new box on the outside of the house, didn't replace the old, out-dated wiring in the house.  He told us after we moved in.

The stairs were burnt, and unstable after the fire.  I wanted to go up those steps to see if there was anything at all to save in Tommy's room, and to get the photos.  The fireman wouldn't let me when it was burning.

I waited until I was the only one at the house to salvage through the rubble to find anything that was left to show we had a life there.  There was very little.  I meant to go up those stairs ... go up them I did.

The sad thing was we were looking for what was ours in the burnt shell of the house, on the ground ... everyone was driving by, stopping to see what they could find that was ours ... and taking it with them.

People were stealing from a house that burned down ... stealing anything they thought was of value.  Some people didn't know me ... I watched them steal.  Why didn't I tell them to go?

I was in shock ... if you've never been in shock ... I can't tell you how it does one.  You aren't yourself ... not at all.  You are in a world where everything is quiet, far away ... you are in a vacuum that is trying to protect you.  You see, hear ... at a distance even if you are ... right there.  Your soul is numb.

I would never have the nerve to let my face be seen doing at someone's home that had just burned down ... stealing.  The sad thing was ... I knew some of them ... if you are reading this now, I won't ever forget.

Not only that, our neighbors were also, telling us who stopped to look for anything to take away with them.  Shame on you for stealing, kicking someone in the face while they were down.

Truthfully, it doesn't matter any more ... I let go of that anger several years ago ... when Tommy died, I forgot everything.

I went up those stairs, grabbed the big, heavy suitcase.  I prayed that the weight of it, and myself ... wouldn't go crashing through the steps.  The suitcase was dripping water ... water from the firemen's hose.

The photos were ruint ... there was black, wet and messy charring, and soot.  I took the photos out and began trying to separate them.

They had stuck together ... it took weeks to salvage as many photos as I could.  I had to cut, trim photos.  I put them in a pan of water to try to get them apart.  It was awful, but I managed to save a lot of them.

So when you see damage of any kind to a photo of mine ... know that it's from the house-fire.  I'm lucky I have them to show we had a life prior to the house fire.

I found about 4 photos I never could look at closely.  Why?  Well, they were taken at a time I didn't want photos taken of me.  I didn't have any hair ... and I'm a female.  The photos hurt me deeply ... I knew I could never let anyone see them ... even let myself look at.

The strange thing is I just discovered the photos .... they were taken during the 3 year period of time I battled cancer.  My enemy was non-Hodgkins lymphoma ... I fought like Hell to win.  I won.

I was just told by the oncologist last week that I shouldn't be here ... well, I've survived 16 years and 98% patients died from what I had.

The photos ... I made myself look into them ... look into my face.  I couldn't believe it ... I couldn't see Death lurking around me, but ... it was.

I couldn't see that the photos don't look bad at all.  I couldn't see that I didn't look hideous with the beautiful human hair wig Skip chose for me to look like my own hair.

I never looked at the photos until 16 years later ... during the past several days.  Now, I can see that those photos aren't awful at all.  I look normal ... you wouldn't know I had a beautiful wig on unless I told you.

You wouldn't know Death was lurking around me when you looked at them ... if I hadn't told you.

Note by this author:  I own all photos you see on my stories, posts, blogs.  All stories I write in my words, I also ... own.  Gloria Faye Brown bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

Monday, May 18, 2015

I'm on the Brink of Being a Swinger!

I'm on the Brink of Being a Swinger ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


Buck gave me swing 5.17.2015 Dennis put it up today 009         Buck gave me swing 5.17.2015 Dennis put it up today 011


I watched as the guy who has become our friend ... build the frame on the back porch for the new swing a special friend gave me for Mother's Day.


He used 4x4's, one for each side ... one at the top. Sturdy bolts, chains, swing ... it's one of the nicest swings I've ever seen put up. I'm proud it's ours.


He's very good with anything he builds... he built a boat that is used on the ocean ... a huge boat! The boat takes out fishing parties today.


I look forward to swinging ... Skip and I.  Swinging, talking ... relaxing on the summer evenings. I was thinking about the fall evenings, also. Even on winter evenings one could grab a little blanket, come sit on the porch to swing.  

Back and forth, back and forth ... soothing, comforting.  Nice!  Sort of like being rocked as a baby :)


I have the nicest swing of all times. It's built well. We will get it painted in the future, add happy-colored cushions.  I'm thinking I'll paint it a Italian sage green color.  Or I might paint it red ... who knows?  I will do the same with the chairs, table so, all can match.  


I'm ready to make the porch cozy, comfortable.  The swing is the perfect addition!  I'm on the brink of being a swinger! :)  

Saturday, May 16, 2015

A Sign From Tommy?

A Sign From Tommy?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee






Galileo Thermometers ... Tommy gave us the shorter one before he died.  The tall Galileo thermometer is the treasure I found today.  Unusual ... you don't just see these thermometers anywhere, much less in a second-hand, Goodwill store.




Today I had to run an errand, decided to stop by the Goodwill store.  I love to go to the Goodwill store to buy books.  Gracious, one can get practically new books cheap ... 49 cents for soft backs, 99 cents for the hardbacks.  That's a deal!

I looked at the shelves of books ... I didn't find a treasure today.  I decided to just walk along the wall to look at the things displayed on the shelves.  I hoped to find a treasure, something fun, exciting that was 'trash' to someone else ... and a special treasure to me!

I stopped when I saw something sitting on the top shelf.  It was about 21 inches tall.  Oh my!  That's special.  I recognized it for what it was.  I took it down all the shelf to admire it, and I was thinking ... Tommy got one like that for us before he died.  The one he got us is about 12 inches tall.

What an unusual thing to find in a second-hand store!  They are expensive, and you don't just find them in any store.  Look up Galileo thermometers to read about how they work.  It's too complicated to tell it about it here.  I just want to tell you about finding a treasure today.

I felt I was led to that Galileo thermometer.  I began smiling in a soft, special way ... who knows ... maybe Tommy led me to it.  This is the month Tommy died (on the 29th).  It would take something unusual for me to think 'Tommy' ... this certainly was.  Not only that, I wouldn't have recognized what it was if Tommy hadn't given us one.

Now it's sitting behind glass beside the Galileo thermometer Tommy gave us.  It makes me feel good to look at them ... yes, I think it is a sign from Tommy to let me know he was close by.  What do you think?  A sign from Tommy?



Photos are of the Galileo thermometers ... the shorter one Tommy gave us, the tall one is the treasure I found today.  Photos/story owned/written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee


Thursday, May 14, 2015

I Want One! I Bet You Want One Too! (See my 'Beautiful' Photos :)

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee






(NOTE:

My photos will go to dust one day ... there will be no one to treasure them.  I have no one in this world but, Skip and our Pups.  After us ... there's no one.  I will continue putting my photos online, at least to not let them be in vain.  They were of a person ... myself.  A good person ... I'm proud to be me ... I'm not perfect, never have been, never will be ... but, I know I'm good, honest, decent.

They'll be here online for my granddaughter, grandson to see one day.  If they are anything like their father, and Granny Gee ... neither 'hell or high water' will keep them from finding me (Granny Gee) ... dead or alive.  

My grandchildren will be able to read me enough, see me enough to 'get to know me' as a person.  It doesn't matter if their mothers keep them away from all Tommy's family on both sides ... to know only their parents.  

People ask me why don't I take it to court ... why don't I fight it ... why don't I do this ... do that?  I don't fight it because I know how it is to grow up in such ugliness.  

I'm not an ugly person unless pushed too far.  I love peace, quiet, good, happy-soft ... beautiful things in life.  I'm not going to fight it.  My grandchildren will find me one day ... I'll smile big on that day, if they find me in death ... I will smile along with the sunshine, making their day brighterGloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee)

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NOW ... to my story ............

I just saw the coolest thing.  Instantly all kinds of possibilities came to mind.

If something happened to one ... it could be documented.  No one would ever know it ... until their ass was caught.  How are they going to know?  We don't walk around looking up.












If you happened ... to look beautiful ... you know 'just right' to have many photos taken of you on a particular day ... why there would be a record of how you looked ... no effort required.  You don't even have to 'aim, pose, click'!  How about that!

You could be out hiking, running, biking all day ... later that night ... you could see all around you as you did those things.  You could see how close you were to danger ... what was going on around you as you hiked, biked, ran ... and didn't know.  Now, it's possible!








I could watch our Pups all during the day when they came out to play in the yard when I wasn't home.  I could see who came while I was gone.  (I know that anyway ... when I'm not home).  This would actually make photos of it.

How, you ask me?  Now, there are drones that can fly around taking selfies all day ... of who else? You!








I really don't care about having one.  When younger, it would have been such fun ... you know when one's young, beautiful doing exciting things!







You know how it is when you look your best, it'd be wonderful to have photos one day to validate such.  Like my photos of the past  .... I used to be beautiful ... I used to be pretty ... I used to be ... I   used to be!  You have those photos just as I do ... at least all of us 'has beens' who 'still are' only in a more attractive, older way!






I didn't have a drone flying overhead to get all those photos.  I'm fortunate I had a suitcase full of photos to 'mount' one day.  They were all water-damaged in the house fire that claimed all our belongings. 





I'm fortunate to have a lot of my 'beautiful' photos so, I can 'prove to the world' ... hey, I used to be a fox, too!  :)  'You don't have nothing on me'!  Ha! Ha! Ha!  













People hate it when an older person can show them they were something otherwise than an older person you see today.  I love seeing older people's photos, see how young, vibrant they used to be.  My, my ... how much 'life' they had in their bodies at one time ... how their personalities could come through the photos!  

No matter someone think us vain ... we want the world to 'see, we used to be beautiful, too'!

Just think with a drone that flies overhead all day just to take selfies of us ... one wouldn't have to pose 'just right', and try to capture their own photo.  












Oh, let me delete this photo ... I wasn't holding my mouth right.  No!  Not this photo, it has to be deleted because damn it, it shows my double chin!  Oh no!  Delete this one, I look too fat!  Oh ... we are all so vain. :)  





Wait a minute ... let me pull my blouse out just a little so, no one can see that bulge!  Look closely at all the selfies we see ... we don't even have to say we took those photos ... we took them 'just right' of ourselves.  We are so vain!







Don't you see it in all the selfies of everyone, including ourselves.  We have to look just right ... to present ourselves to our online world.  Oh my God, is that a new wrinkle ... no, I can't take a photo today!  Maybe it won't be there tomorrow!









Today ... maybe I'll just leave the drones that fly overhead to take selfies all day ... to the young and beautiful.  I would be too boring a subject ... quiet, conservative, private.  :)  








I don't want one ... but, I wonder if I would on a particularly 'good' day?  I want one!  Ha! Ha! Ha!  I want one!  I bet you do, too!






All my Beautiful Photos/article owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee