Friday, January 10, 2020

Facebook Asks: What's On Your Mind?








WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? Well .........

This is what is on my mind this morning as I listen to the world news. The things I've listened to have created questions in my mind.

I will mention them here BUT I WON'T DEBATE them with anyone ... anyone who wants to argue, persuade, cram something down someone's throat ... be belligerent ... can go to their own Facebook page to do so. I don't have time for it ... too much negativity ... I like positive ... I am positive as possible.

Here ... this is MY page and my page REFLECTS ME ... my thoughts, feelings and mostly whatever I want to share. I don't always agree with everyone ... you will always see me be very respectful even if I don't agree.

I have to say this ... so far ... with the Facebook Friends I have ... most are good people like me. They know how to disagree without making it into a war. Like ME ... they don't keep on and on ... they go on about their life.

Lots of time it's better to not say anything at all ... I mean why would you if you didn't want to cause conflict on an inflammatory subject that upsets everyone? One can spot a troublemaker easily ... and like my Grandma Alma used to say: 'Nip it in the bud'. I follow her advice and don't wait around.

Why in the world would I be respectful ... when everyone is always ready to fight if someone is different from them?

BECAUSE ... I have a mind of my own ... I make my own decisions ... I decide what I believe and lots of times I have to 'sit on the fence in the middle' because ... I can see both sides of the situation. Because ... like ME ... I am always listening, learning ... changing my mind constantly as I form my own opinions ... so does everyone. I respect that ... it isn't easy to do.

We all experience Life differently ... in no way can everyone agree. No one can even take the exact same medicines ... we may be alike yet ... we aren't in certain aspects. I think we all can agree to agree on that for sure. :) <3

I AM NOT going to get into a 'war' with anyone over anything ... UNLESS it's of my choosing ... then, that means I intend to win that war ... one way or other. I don't often go to war ... but, if I do ... know that I am ready for it. If I'm going to 'make an ass of myself' ... I will do it big-time. I don't enjoy such things ... I don't run from them either ... it's 'do it or die'.

I love peace with my very Heart but ... I CAN hold my ground. It doesn't mean I'm weak because I like to be peaceful, be good. I'm sorry to say that I could be 'as bad' as the next one if provoked. That doesn't happen often. Why is that?

BECAUSE ... to be provoked is to become doubly-angered ... for being pushed too far ... and for whatever it is I chose to go to war for. That's when the fires of Hell begin burning in ME ... I was born in them ... I know them well ... and I know ... all Hell is going to break loose ... some Hell-raising is going to happen.

Am I proud of that? NO ... no, I'm not at all. I am proud though that I try to control anger, hate that is natural to me ... I am proud I never went on to let it consume me to be so evil, mean, horrible ... and ... it well could have happened. No one will ever know what I came through since a child ... I would have been bad ... very BAD ... but, all the goodness in me ... WON.

I was different from my family. I loved them with my very Heart ... but, I was different. They were ... pure Hell-raising people ... it never stopped ... through life when they lived ... oh my, my, my. They were the only family I knew ... I loved them ... but, I had to love them at a distance. I couldn't let them into my immediate life.

Okay ... this is what's on my mind: I am seeing such discord, turmoil in families, friends who have been friends forever ... break apart because of either being Democrat ... Republican.

I am listening to all the ugly name-calling ... I can't believe the name-calling like elementary kids ... we were taught to be better than that. As adults doing such ... it's dangerous ... as children, we are corrected, taught better.

Not so long ago we witnessed 2 women ... yes, 2 WOMEN ... almost come to blows because one was a Democrat ... one was a Republican ... and they didn't agree. Can you believe it?

They made pure spectacles of themselves ... oh my, the filth that poured out of their mouths. This is what politics have done to people. It's changed everyone ... and MY OPINION is ... it's changed many people in a very negative way. So much that families, friends are forever against each other.

I thought I used to hate with a vengeance when younger ... oh my ... the hatred I see, witness now is just horrible. Surely ... no one wants their children to grow up in such a world ... our role models have changed. The people who used to be very respected individuals ... aren't people I would let into my life ... and I am 'nobody special'.

We see every morning on our news shows drinking ... more and more cuss words are slipping in on tv than ever before ... everything that used to be wrong is ... right now. It's okay to be a 'bad' person now.

Now ... I know I can say a choice word or two ... I try not to do it when anyone is around ... it only happens when I'm working so hard at something and it doesn't cooperate with me ... I become angry ... I might cry.

When I do that ... it seems I begin to gain such extra strength to help me. So, I don't mind a cuss word at all ... it happens ... Life happens. It can be positive like when it becomes a force to help me in 'impossible' situations ... it's a godsend in an emergency to help oneself or someone.

Getting back to politics ... I don't discuss them. I do listen, watch quietly at the change I'm seeing today ... I shake my head in dismay. I try to pay attention to how I act, talk ... appear to others ... I wonder if others aren't caring about how they appear anymore? People used to care.

This is as close to politics I'm coming to ... as I'm not discussing my beliefs, feelings about certain things. I'm distressed from both sides ...I feel it in my heart.

I know it has to affect people at a medical level ... stress, depression, so forth. It's like working in a big place and that one person or several people are so bad ... that morale is to an all-time low. Once those people are gone ... people begin to act in healthier ways again. It was like that at the hospital I worked at years ago.

Anyway ... that's what is on my mind this morning. Gloria Faye Brown Gloria Bates Colors Skip Bates Tommy M Sidden

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Christmas Morning 2019 ...
by Gloria Faye Brown Bates




Photo 2017 Christmas past ... Skip and Duke

Christmas morning ... Christmas morning ... Christmas morning.

There, that says it all. So many words to share to describe how I feel this morning and all I can say is ... Christmas morning.

I think I am still in shock ... pain, grief. We experienced a loss dear to our Hearts on Christmas Eve. One I can't even talk about ... I don't know that I'll ever talk about it here.

Sometimes, there comes a time in life we can't share with ours about things so close, personal in our lives. Why? I think because they are things so complex, so hard to talk about ... who has all that time to listen to ... understand?

Today's time we all are at a fast pace ... we have to do things quickly, move on. It's like that even for the most relaxed people I think. I haven't met anyone truly relaxed lately ... have you?

I remember when we drove team on the tractor-trailer. We drove to the west coast each week ... we came back to the east coast ... picking up, delivering ... vegetables, tee shirts, paper, glue, peanut butter, so many things. Do you know what struck me as unusual and what I never wanted to live in?

When we were in California during holidays ... vacation time ... we would see miles and miles of traffic waiting in lines to get into vacation attractions, places to shop ... people had to wait in line to have their vacation, go buy Christmas gifts. Oh my, that disturbed ME a lot.

Isn't that awful? This was in the 90's. Well, this is 2019 ... it's happening on the east coast now. So, so, so many people trying to live, work, vacation in the same space. Space ...

Space has become more valuable here on the east coast. Prices have soared ... traffic is out of this world here now. People ... people ... people everywhere where you used to see ... calm, empty space.

I am smiling ... I love people ... especially people who are different from Me. I never know what I might learn from them, their culture.

Gracious ... don't mention the possibility of snow here, now! The people who have moved here have laughed ... made fun of southerners running to the supermarkets to wipe out all the milk, bread ... they are the very ones who are doing it now. I am truly amazed. I laugh because ... we all are just human ... instincts kick in ... survival. Doesn't matter where one's from.

I try to have that problem remedied ... go to the bread store when there aren't any shortages, emergencies ... simply buy loaves of bread ... put them in the freezer. Then ... when bad weather arrives ... go to the freezer ... take out the bread.

Milk ... we try to always have 2 gallons of milk in the refrigerator. That comes from when Tommy was living ... lived with us. Oh my, how he loved milk. Skip loves milk. ME? That's a complicated story ... I love milk ... the unusual thing is ... when I open the refrigerator door ... I never ... see it.

I don't ever see milk sitting there. Strange? Yes, it's strange ... the story just as strange when a little girl ... ME ... learned not to drink milk ... why? To be sure the milk was always there for someone who needed it more than her.

Today ... I don't see milk because I leave it ... for others to drink. I do, however ... use extra cream in my coffee ... no sugar.

It's okay for ME in my mind to drink extra cream from the container ... because it isn't what I learned not to drink. I always see the carton of creamer in the refrigerator!

It is the same way with the orange juice ... it's only when I need to drink orange juice I see it sitting in the refrigerator unless Skip brings my attention to it. I love orange juice ... as the little girl who was taught not to get into the milk ... orange juice and chocolate milk were on that list. So ... it's rare I drink either ... I don't ... see them.

About the orange juice ... this is only for both Skip and I ... I don't push anything on anyone. I will share why, when I drink orange juice ... who knows it might help you if ... you try it. It has to be 100% orange juice. We get it with pulp ... doesn't matter though.

From time to time ... when one of us gets leg cramps at night time ... we go straight to the refrigerator, get out a glass of orange juice ... drink it. Oh my, the cramping hurts so bad while drinking it but, I am reassured in just minutes no matter how severe the cramp is ... it's going to stop hurting. It does every time!

How did I learn this? When taking chemotherapy years ago ... I began having really bad cramping in my legs ... I would wake up crying. Chemo drugs take a lot out of one's body. You don't have to be taking chemo for this to work ... just in our normal lives it works.

A nurse told me to begin drinking orange juice when a cramp would strike ... oh my, it makes all the difference and I thank God every time I have a leg cramp ... have orange juice to drink. I hope this little tip ... a valuable tip ... might help you someday. Let me know.

I have went from Christmas morning to grief, the pain of another loss in our lives that's completely changed it ... all the way to orange juice. I didn't know I would be able to write when I began writing just ... Christmas morning.

Note by this Author:

I write about real life ... my Life ... about ME. Sometimes, like now ... I can write about real life only not be able to write the details when something happens so bad I can't talk about.

No, I don't know I'll ever write about it. The pain, grief because of so much love is devastating. I won't write about this ... sometimes things are best left not said

.
Story/photos written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/GBB.
Image may contain: living room, christmas tree, table and indoor

If I Could Peep Into Heaven ...



If I Could Peep Into Heaven ...


I wish I could simply lean over just as I did in the mirrors ... peep into Heaven for a moment, see ... hear my son. I would quickly come back so, as not to disturb anything. I would be most respectful. Wow, wouldn't that be such a gift to get to do that once in a while to see our loved ones who have died?

I was imagining Tommy's expression if he saw me ... his eyes would widen in surprise and the most precious smile would spread across his face. He wouldn't believe I did such an impossible thing. I smile now thinking about it.

This was just a thought that came to my mind when I was at the mirrors ... when I imagined doing such.


Note by this Author:

Photo, story owned, written by ME, Gloria Faye Brown Bates.