BLUE BALL OF LIGHTENING ... SITTING THERE WITH A MESSAGE FOR ME?
BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/AKA GRANNY GEE
Skip and I both woke up at 3:00 am this morning to the sound of thunder. My first thought was to go back to sleep as soon as possible 'so, I wouldn't have to know the storm was going on'. I am always afraid of a storm. In fact, at this moment at 5:12 am... I am hearing thunder in the distance.
Storms put my mind back to Grandma Alma and George's house to when I was a child living there. I always begin thinking and seeing in my mind ...'myself as a little girl' running to get a quilt. I would take that quilt and go into the living room and climb onto one end of the couch.
The quilt would be completely around me and I could see out of a little opening I would make... I always 'knew what I was going to see'. I was so afraid, but... somehow I could manage to look each time. I wonder how I knew to go to the couch to sit quietly during a storm? That thought just came to my mind.
Another thought just came to my mind..... you know how people, children always 'run to someone for comfort'........ I never had anyone to 'run to'. I always remember having to 'fight my own battles'... no one was there for me to 'run to'. I wonder 'why' I didn't run to Grandma Alma and George... I look back... I can only think ...'I never thought to, I just kept on no matter what'.
There it was! Just where I knew it'd be.... all I had to do was wait and it would soon appear. Sure enough ...out of that bedroom that was my mom's youngest sister's bedroom........ it slowly rolled through the doorway... toward me. It would stop as if... it was watching me... sit there... until... I couldn't look anymore! I would close the opening in the quilt, close my eyes tightly, holding my body tightly 'just in case' it ... would 'get me'.
Nothing would happen... each time I would wait and soon want to look to see 'if it was still there'..... if that big, blue ball of lightening ...big as a basketball....... was still there. Thankfully, it would be gone each time. I would begin to breathe freely, I always held my breath out of fear... trying to be so quiet... so, it wouldn't notice me.
That ball of lightening would sit there in front of the bedroom door.... just 'sit there'. I saw it many times at Grandma's when a storm came up. I could never look long to see 'what happened to it when it disappeared'.
Do you know... that all my life I 'knew' that everyone else saw that, also? Do you know, that it happened so much, that I accepted it as 'normal'. Do you know what? I was the only one who would see that ball of lightening.... at Grandma's house. I've always 'wondered why'? I never thought to ask that question until I was an adult... I thought everyone knew about it... I thought it was 'normal'. You can imagine my surprise when I found out differently.
I can remember seeing a ball of 'red lightening' as an adult... that was the only time I ever saw 'ball lightening' again in my life ... so far. It was a huge red ball of lightening in the air..... Tommy was a little boy.... we were in a department store shopping. We were visiting my mother at the time.
A storm had come up and I remember Tommy running off from me like all little boys do. I was trying to find him ...I looked out the big windows of the store and saw.... a big, red ball of lightening across the street over a Hardee's fast food restaurant... it disappeared.
I remember just standing there looking at that... of course, remembering my 'blue ball lightening experiences'... as a little girl. So strange..... the lights went out in the department store and I began to call Tommy to come to me... I was afraid I couldn't find him. 'I'm here, mama'! His precious voice led me to him.... I didn't think of that red ball lightening after that.
I was thinking that through time when sharing things with others, I would sometimes tell about that. No one ever said they'd seen that in their lives. Only once in a great while would someone know what I was talking about. Many years ago, I did research it on the computer for a short time to see.... other people knew what I'd seen, they'd also, experienced it.
I know this probably doesn't have any bearing on that Hardee's where I saw the big, red ball of lightening....... but, that Hardee's eventually failed in that location years later.... then, a Popeye's opened there (a very nice one!)... it failed in a year or so. Later, it went on to be an Italian restaurant... it also, failed.
For years, that building has sat there 'empty'. Who ever heard of a Hardee's or a Popeye's ... failing? I'm sure they have... but, that was so unusual .... all the other fast food restaurants have made it all these years... they all are close by. They are still 'there' ..... today.
As for Grandma Alma and George's house......... that house and all that ever lived there... they only knew lots of grief. I never saw happiness there... it did try to come there because I can remember seeing smiles ... but, soon those smiles would turn to tears, turn to anger. Yes, that house George built... was built right over hell... it is the portal to hell... the house guards that doorway to hell.
I don't know if the blue ball lightening was trying to give me a message as a child.... when it would sit there 'looking at me'. If it did.... looking back over my life at this moment.......... I can 'see' it would have been......... losing so many people I've loved, our home burning down, my husband being in those wrecks, both of us having cancer, me with congestive heart failure, losing my son...my only child. These are only a 'few' things that have happened in my life ........... 'I see' looking back.... that 'could have been a message' for me.
I'm too positive in my attitude, the way I think... to 'blame it all on blue ball lightening'. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Though................. it was an interesting thought. We never ...know.
I am always ...thinking, connecting the dots I love in life, putting things together like a puzzle. Sometimes... it takes years to 'put a piece in place, or to connect a dot to another one'.... eventually, I do it. Strange.... how one can 'see clearly things' ...years later down the road, isn't it?
Strange how the 'whole picture' becomes clear as years puts us far enough from it... so, we can 'see'. It's like.......... putting on reading glasses when you become forty years old... so, one can focus on the whole picture that was... blurry 'before'. I've done that, too. :)))
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)