Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)
Friday, June 15, 2012
A SECOND THING HAPPENED TO MAKE ME FEEL STRANGE... THAT WAS SO... TOMMY!
A SECOND THING HAPPENED TO MAKE ME FEEL STRANGE... (THAT WAS ..SO.. TOMMY'!)
BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/aka GRANNY GEE
Just a few days ago, I was sitting in the dining room with the door open. I was putting together pieces of art, I'd drawn, painted, cut out... I was 'building' a beautiful greeting card for my special friend, Tori.
Tori had sent me a gift bag with lots of special things in it. She is constantly creating, making wonderful things. She also, draws. For a year, she and I, have been making, creating things for one another. She is first person who has ever made things just for me. I am so honored to have her for a friend.
Tori will be 20 years old soon. I can't help but, to think of McKenzie, my granddaughter who will be 12 at the end of this year. I paint and do things for Tori, just as I would have for McKenzie. I'm sad she has to miss out on knowing her creative grandmother... someone who would have enjoyed so much doing things with her.
Skip and I speak of her often... Skip still calls her 'the baby'... he sure thinks the world of her, he laughs about the trick she pulled on him once... when she squirted him with a garden hose. He never fails to say she was such a nice little girl. I never forget the walk we had and I saw a beautiful little girl on the inside, as well... as the outside... whom I really liked, as well as loved. A part of Tommy, a part of myself, my only granddaughter.
Anyway... when I'm doing things for Tori, I can't help but, to think of Taylor McKenzie, my granddaughter.
I was sitting at the dining table in that special world of 'colors, creating' when for a brief moment ... I was thrown back in time....
I 'felt Tommy'... I even saw a brief shadow for a second, it was so fast! It was as if Tommy 'all of a sudden'.... stepped up the step to come inside silently.... just as only Tommy ever did. He could move so quickly, so lightly.. he could 'be there in front of you... that fast'!
You would never hear him.... there he would be all of a sudden... grinning that Tommy smile... that beautiful, special Tommy smile that brings tears to my eyes as I write.
I turned my head to the left to look back to the door, for a brief moment...I fully expected for Tommy.... to actually step inside the door! I 'felt' Tommy so strongly that it made my stomach feel sort of sick. For a moment I was 'confused, disoriented'.... sort of like 'back in time to ....back in today's time'... that's the only way I know to describe it to you.
Just a few days ago... I saw the wispy smoke in the air in front of me as I talked to Skip... I was describing it to him. This is in my story 'WISPY SMOKE IN THE AIR...DID TOMMY TRY TO COME BACK?'.
Twice in several days I've felt him so strongly. I know things happen that have no explanation... I've experienced them since I was a little girl. If it hadn't 'been me'.... I would have never believed them. Since 'I saw, felt, experienced' them... I know they are true.
This is the second thing that has happened lately and... I wonder ..'did Tommy try to come back'?