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grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Just Like Tommy...
Just Like Tommy...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I went to the store last evening and just as I was preparing to turn in... my attention was caught by the young man standing at the gas pumps. He was pumping gas.... he looked like Tommy.
I pulled in, parked. I sat there several moments 'pretending it was Tommy, pretending it was my son standing 'over there'... pumping gas. I think maybe I was smiling to myself while I watched.
The young man turned facing me, smiled 'just like Tommy would have done to a crazy stranger sitting there looking at him'. He might would have thought that the woman sitting there half-smiling was someone who thought he was... cute. Well, the young man was definitely cute... but, in 'a son way to a mother'.
I got out, and as I passed by him I told him that he really looked so much like my son... I explained 'why' I was staring so much. We talked for a moment, and as I said goodbye and walked off, I heard his soft laugh.... just like Tommy's! I did turn around and say 'and Tommy laughed like that'.
I went on into the store to get what I came for. The young man was driving off as I came out. I noticed his profile with his sunglasses on... he looked just like Tommy.
I felt sad as I held my tears in... no need to cry, it doesn't help at all to cry.
When I got home, I got on my computer shortly after. There was an email from my friend.... 'I saw someone who looked just like Tommy today'... it said! She said she almost took a photo of him to send to me.
Isn't it amazing... we both saw someone today that looked just like Tommy? Normally... one never saw anyone that looked so much like Tommy. He was a tall, muscular, handsome blonde-headed guy with a quick, soft smile. He had such nice posture walking, driving, sitting. Not alot of guys look like Tommy... not alot had soft voices like Tommy.
I'm not saying he was more special than any other guys... but, in Granny Gee's eyes.... he was most special. My son... how I miss you so very much. I didn't cry this time. I did feel like it, but, I didn't... this time.
I tell myself that 'I think I did good this time' seeing someone who ... looked just like Tommy.