Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Where Is That Damn Sock Monkey!
Where Is That Damn Sock Monkey!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee
The little girl played under the oak tree
With her tea set
She served her dolls and teddy bear
Offered a cup to me
I want to dip snuff just like my Grandma Alma
She said as she filled a cup with the white sand we sat on
She pulled her little lip out
And poured the sand inside
The little girl became choked, coughed
she began to say 'damn, damn, damn'
I heard a voice behind us, say
Get into that house, go to the bathroom!
The little girl stood up in fear
As her mother told her what she'd do
I'm going to wash your mouth out
With Ivory soap, wash that dirty word right out!
The little girl ran to the bathroom
Because she knew she had no choice
But, to stand there and take the punishment
She was sure to get
Mama came into the bathroom
Turned on the faucet, warm water came out
Come here! The little girl stepped up to the sink
In just a moment, bubbles began to foam out of her mouth
Mama had taken a warm washcloth, soaped it up
With Ivory soap, she washed that dirty word right out of her mouth
If you say another dirty word, I will wash it out again!
The little girl stood there with tears in her eyes
She felt her mouth sting from the rough washcloth, soap
Her mama hurt not only her mouth, but... her heart as well
I might not can say 'damn' out loud, but....
Faye thought the word 'damn'!
She peeped at her mama to see if she could hear her thought
Her mama walked out the door, she didn't hear
So, Faye said... 'damn, damn, damn' very loud
In her little girl mind.... 'damn it, that hurt!' Damn!
I watched, heard all of this
I was the gray and white stuffed sock monkey
Faye carried in her hand
She loved me, carried me everywhere
I drank tea with her regularly
Got to hear her say
All the new words she learned
Faye was four years old
Not only was Faye learning new words
She was learning something else
That I knew she was thinking of trying
Faye was going to smoke a cigarette!
I sat on the floor propped by the table leg
Underneath the dining table where she put me
I could see she and her younger brother
Billy... smoking a cigarette
Billy squatted down, a cute little boy
pretending he was a grown up
Faye sat on the floor
As she shared that cigarette with him
The young children never noticed
The white smoke wafting up into the air
Out from underneath the dining table
Until........ rough hands pulled them out
Faye! You are going to eat a whole pack
of cigarettes to teach you a lesson!
As her mother watched, Faye chewed, swallowed
twenty Kool unfiltered cigarettes from the pack
She cried as she put each one in her mouth
Her tongue burned, it tasted bad
Her mama told her to remember how it felt
That she'd learn never to touch another cigarette
The little girl began to feel strange
She fell to the floor
Her mother gathered her up in her arms
She only meant to teach Faye a lesson
She really loved this little girl
She only punished her the only way she knew
This is how she was punished growing up
Mama took Faye to the hospital
Did you try to kill her, the doctor asked
No, I only wanted to teach her a lesson!
The doctor and mama talked while
Faye began to throw up, throw up
Later on the way home mama said
I love you, Faye, I don't want you cussing, smoking
I'm just trying to teach you a lesson
Faye sat there and thought....
Thoughts can't be heard she already knew
Damn it, mama... that hurt!
Through time Faye would say 'damn'
and she did ... smoke another cigarette!
Alas, I became lost in the shuffle of time
Faye was taken from our nice home
To hell... I was there
Damn... it's dark... I'm lost now... forever
A little girl and her stuffed sock monkey
were separated forever
Faye always wondered where that monkey went
Even today she wonders.... shakes her head and thinks 'damn!'
Her lessons learned from that time were
She'd never-ever wash her mouth with Ivory soap
Nor would she ever eat Kool unfiltered cigarettes again
Faye... learned her 'damn' lesson well!
She does say 'damn' as you noticed
Just as she told you once
She feels she learned... no, she feels she earned
The right to use that word anytime!
Faye sits here with the silliest of thoughts
Tears in her eyes, feels the need to cry
I wish I knew where that stuffed sock monkey was
For some 'damn' reason it hurts me to not know
That stuffed sock monkey knew some secrets
Only it and Faye knew, didn't understand as a little girl
The stuffed sock monkey saw things
Faye not only saw, Faye was... a victim of... things
The little stuffed sock monkey was there always
It brought her comfort from things she didn't understand
She held onto it for dear life
She wished to have it now... when life was hard to hold on to
These are some of the earliest colors of Granny Gee's life
Faye later in life became Granny Gee
When her only child, Tommy, named her to give Taban
Her only grandson... a special name to call her
Granny Gee... in name only as life took Taban
In another direction, just as life took her only granddaughter
McKenzie, away down another path in the opposite direction
Tommy would be very hurt if he could know
Tommy's not here now, he died May 29, 2010
He collapsed running, playing with Taban on the beach
That evening... he was smiling doing what he wanted most to do
Playing with three year old Taban at the beach for the first, last time
Tommy stopped for a moment, felt a strange sensation
In his chest ... as he looked off into the sky above the waves
I know he heard his name called saying
Don't worry, Tommy.. it's time to come home
Little Taban will be safe... look at the group of strangers
Over there... they've been watching you both with smiles on their faces
They will watch over Taban as you leave
One will call your mother to tell her, too
Come on, Tommy, it's time to go
Just reach out into the air
Find the doorknob unseen from the world
Twist it, enter... come home, Tommy... welcome home
Faye, who later in time... became Granny Gee
Writes to never forget her son, Tommy
Sits here right now... once again with tears in her eyes
Missing her only child, her son... Tommy
Granny Gee wishes for that little stuffed gray and white monkey
With it's little red button eyes
Smiling up at her with its little black stitched mouth
Where is that 'damn' monkey when I need him!