Sunday, February 9, 2014

Mooned In The Moonlight...

Mooned In The Moonlight...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

It was almost 11:30 pm.  I'd just left the hospital to go home.  I had worked 2nd shift.  I registered, admitted patients in the Emergency Room.

I was passing the college close by... where the Confederate soldier monument dedicated to our Civil War dead... stood.  It was dimly lit in that area... I saw a tall, thin figure walk out in front of me.  It had been blocked by the monument.

I stopped... because everyone has to stop when college students are crossing in the walkway.  It sure was late for a college student to be crossing!

The tall, skinny guy crossed in front of me, never looking at me.  I watched him out of curiosity.  I couldn't believe a student was crossing the street at that time of night.

He stopped as he stepped up on the sidewalk.  He never turned around to look at me.  What he did do... was to pull his pants down, bend over.... and moon me!  I couldn't believe that skinny, white guy did that!  If only he could have seen what I saw... oh my!

It got away with me... I began talking aloud.  "I've been mooned... I've been mooned"!

I drove on through town, began the ride home on a country road.  I thought I saw something very small, white flash up in the distance.  At first, I didn't pay it any mind... until I had an uneasy feeling.  I began to slow down.  Thank-God, I did.

Standing in the highway were cows... seven, eight cows!  They were milling about.  I sat there, trembling.  I was thinking how I'd just been mooned... and almost lost my life to a bunch of cows!

Instantly, the story of the cow jumping over the moon, came to mind.  This was the second time I'd ever been flashed, actually mooned in my life.  The first time by a big, hairy white guy... this time by a skinny, white dude.

Finally the cows moved enough so, I could pass through them.  I drove until I got to town where I lived... I stopped at the stop light at Main Street.  I waited... and while I waited, the most amazing thing happened... it felt like a dream.  I wasn't sure I saw right!

Two cars came speeding by on Main Street, racing... as I sat at that stop light!  The thought in my mind at that very moment was... the whole damn world's gone crazy!

I stopped by the police station to tell them about the cows.  I didn't carry a cellphone at that time.  I told the man that I'd been mooned tonight, almost hit a herd of cows... and thank-God for the stoplight... because I'd been killed if I had driven across Main Street.

It's amazing how things come in 'threes'.  I always pay attention to the number 'three'.

Below is a silly, little poem that came to mind, I wrote:

Mooned In The Moonlight...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I was mooned in the moonlight
Mooned by a skinny, white guy
He walked across the street I traveled
Stopped, bent over... pulled his pants down

What I saw next... I won't describe
You know it wasn't much of anything
It was the idea that numbed my mind
The idea of ... I've just been mooned!

Down the road I drove, saw a flash of white
I began to see shadows moving on the highway
Cows... lots of cows blocked my way
I sat there until they decided I could go

I got to the stoplight, stopped to wait
Stopped to wait... saved my life
As two cars came barreling by in a race
Twice that night I sat, trembled... thanked God to be alive

Three times in one night, amazing things happened
Two could have caused my death in a crash
Being mooned was just funny...
There was just so .. little to see

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. A close friend of mine who died 7 years ago, used to tell me, every time strange things happened to me (which they often did) to pay attention to what the Universe was trying to tell me. In your case I suppose you should be glad that at least the dish didn't run away with the spoon ;)

  2. I have always heard that things happen in 3's also. Example: It has snowed here 2 times and now we are expecting a third round of it! I am happy that you were safe. I hope you will always be safe. Watch out for those cows!! Love, Ms. Nancy