Tuesday, March 18, 2014

In My Memories, My Words...

In My Memories, My Words...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

If it seems I live in the past ... I don't
I go back to visit to find things to write about
Sometimes, I have to sit a while... to feel those things
That have happened to me... to remember

Don't feel bad for me... don't feel sad
Because, I am here now... I made it through
Like a ship in a storm... I survived
I'm here, you can see, hear me... I'm alright

I write about the death of my only child
My only child, my son ... Tommy
Why do I do that?  I can't just pretend he was never here
He was a real person just like you... just like me

I know, I knew him... he was my baby, my little boy
Who grew to be a man... I talked to him, I cried for him
When things hurt, upset him... I was there for him
I miss him, don't you see?  I want to talk about him

When I speak of my son, I don't do it aloud
I write about him here... you choose to read or... not read
There's no excuse to say I wish you wouldn't write about him
I wish you wouldn't cry, I wish you'd forget him

Why?  Because you can go on your way, enjoy your children
I can only find my child now... in my memory, my words
This is all I have now... excepting a little chest with a few of his things
I don't even have the liberty of knowing his two children

You can read, feel my pain... only if you choose to do so
Just remember... everything's alright with me
I'm just trying to feel my son through my words
Why?  To comfort my soul, soothe my heart's pain

Where else can I find Tommy, I ask you
Only in my memories, my mind
You can't hear, see him like I can
I don't talk about him... I can only write... I can only find my child now, in my memory, my words
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  1. You have the right to find, feel or see Tommy in your memory! I think you are so brave to keep writing about him. I can not imagine how you feel and miss him. I know a couple of people that have lost their only child. I don't know how you live and go on with life but you do. I love to read what you write about Tommy. He was a very sweet person. He loved you so much. I know you loved him with all your being too. He is dearly missed. Love, Ms. Nancy