Monday, April 13, 2015

So, You See ... They Lie When They Say All Things Are Possible

So, You See ... They Lie When They Say All Things Are Possible
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee

This is the age I became convinced I could sing ... ha! ha! ha!  I could dance, do everything ... but, sing! 

Singing in the rain ... singing in the shower.  Singing when there's victory ... singing when married ... singing when there's a funeral.

Singing, singing, singing.  Everything's a musical ... we humans love to sing.  I love to hear singing. I'm just mad because I can't sing.  I want to sing!

You know the saying that 'nothing is impossible'?  That's not true, it's just not true at all.  It is ... impossible for me to sing.  It would be a helpless cause trying to teach me.

I've never forgotten when as a child in the church choir ... the choir leader told me to just move my mouth, don't sing out loud!  That hurt my feelings ... so, sometimes out of spite, I would sing!  Sing loud, too!  Everyone would look at me!  I would put my head down.  I wasn't so brave when everyone ... looked at me.

When I got a little older, I became convinced that I could sing!  I have a southern accent, and people say my voice is pleasant.  I used to work at a switchboard paging all day ... people said my voice was musical.  Damn liars!

I know what they meant ... my voice was soft, clear, pleasant over the speakers in the hall.  They didn't really mean I could sing ... how could they know whether I could or not?

Well ... like I said, this idea that I could sing ... got into my head.  I was singing with the radio ... I mean I was singing.  I had all the moves ... and I thought ... the voice.

I decided to record me singing.  I knew I was going to be pleasantly surprised.  I set up my tape recorder, and had my music close by ... I pressed the RECORD button, and began singing up a storm.

When I finished my song, I was excited to listen to myself.  I rewound the tape recorder, and pressed PLAY.

My eyebrows flew together in a terrible frown ... my eyes crossed, my mouth began making awful movements.  Oh my God!  I couldn't believe it!

I couldn't believe the voice I was hearing!  It was singing a country song ... a happy, peppy country song ... the voice I was hearing was singing in slow motion!  It sounded pure-damn awful!  Just pure-damn awful!  I almost slung the tape recorder across the room.

No one needed to convince me that I couldn't sing, ever again.  I know I can't sing.  That little experiment I did ... taught me once and for all ... Gloria can't sing one damn bit!  Not even the tiniest little bit!

So, you see ... they lie when they say ... all things are possible.

True story, photo are written, owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/


  1. You do have a soft beautiful voice! I haven't heard you sing. I don't have a good singing voice either but I try at do my best. I don't have the nerve to record myself singing. Maybe some day I will get the chance to hear you sing and judge for myself. Love, Ms. Nancy

  2. I still believe that all things are possible, but I think you really have to want what you're asking for, and it might help to take voice lessons ;)