By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee
May is the saddest month of the year for me. I have some serious emotional periods of time ... still yet. I thought this May would be different. Maybe ... it's going to always be like that.
That's part of being a grieving mother ... May is the month my child died.
May is the month I shared my last Mother's Day with my son ... two weeks before his death.
May is the month my brother died from an overdose.
May is the month ... a stranger's life collided with my child's life and changed his life forever ... for one year exactly until his death. A horrible accident. My Son lived in Hell for exactly one year leading up to his death ... survivor's guilt.
Yet ... this is what shines out from May. Just because something is all bad ... doesn't mean there aren't good things hidden just behind them. That's right ... for example:
I found out yesterday from my oncologist something I didn't realize ... when he came in, sat down on a stool ... rolled up to me, looked me in the eyes, said in a quiet voice, "you shouldn't be here today".
Instantly my mind began seeing a vision of my calendar. Yes! Yes, I had an appointment with the oncologist today! I told him in a soft voice that my appointment was for this day.
All was so quiet ... he smiled at me, repeated what he said ... "you shouldn't be here today". By this time, I am becoming confused, until ... it began to dawn on me like the sun coming up in the early morning. Ah-hhhhhhhhhhhhh, oh my God! I'm beginning to hear something different than what I thought.
"Sixteen years ... you shouldn't be here today with what you had". 98% of people who had what you had ... aren't living today.
That meant ... I'm in the 2% ... who survived the battle of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. All battles aren't the same. I walked on the edge of death for three years. It almost got me ... more than one time.
I fought Death like Hell, writhing in pain the average person will never know. I still go through pain ... 'forever' pain to live.
Every day of my life I am reminded. That's from the two major surgeries I had, called Thoracotomy ... I had TWO ... one is bad enough.
Today, I live in pain ... my trade-off to live. I don't take pain medicine for it. I find it hard to take pain medicines ... if I do, I've become most desperate.
Getting back to my oncologist ... I sat there stunned, shocked ... cold chills went over my body as the realization of what he said, sunk in. I didn't know that!
I knew I was a miracle ... but, I didn't ... know how much. I've lived 16 years of life when ... 16 years ago, I should have ... died. Can you stop, imagine someone telling you that?
Isn't it beautiful, amazing, wonderful, special? I'm smiling as I write that. Isn't that a reason for the month of May to have something happy, good in it ... in my life?
Oh, I can't forget ... Skip's birthday is on May 13th. Isn't that special?
Oh ... Skip is a miracle, also. He survived colon cancer. I battled non-Hodgkins from 1998 until in the 2000's (3 years I battled to live)... Skip was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2000.
I was still sick when I took care of him. He took care of me while he was sick. We were alone ... no one was here to help us. Tommy was in Germany.
We both are lucky to be here today because ... those weren't the only times Death came looking for us, almost took us away.
So yet ... this is another good thing about May ... Skip lives to see another birthday. I'm here to see it.
I have so much to be grateful for ... no matter how bad things get in my life. Because ... they are already good when any bad happens. I just have to stop, remember. Anything good that happens is a special thing ... a bonus in my life.
This really is true ... I've lived it many years ... I 'know' it ... no matter how bad things get ... good things happen. Some things like this ... have already happened.
Because ... like in my life ... things are already good when any bad happens.
Photos/true story are both owned, written by me. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@grannygee