Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Claim Your Space in This World ... it's Yours

Claim Your Space in This World ... it's Yours
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter ... 2014

Loneliness is the enemy of people who have no one.  Loneliness can cause a person to make costly mistakes.  Loneliness tears a person down ... when they go out in public ... a person feels isolated, disoriented ... not a part of anything ... anyone.

There have been times in my life that I've experienced loneliness.  It's an awful feeling.  Through time I experienced it when I was home alone with no one to talk to, be near.  Skip was driving long-distance.  We stayed on the phone constantly.

This is a different kind of loneliness ... this loneliness is from having to be away working, while I was at home.  It isn't the kind of loneliness I'm writing about today.

The loneliness I am writing about is the kind of loneliness I see in several people I care about.  They don't have their someone special ... someone who will come home to them ... someone that is there ... someone who cares what they say or do.

Everyone, no matter who you are ... needs that special person.  You don't have to be married to them, nor do you have to live together.  All you have to do is ... care.  You can care ... even long-distance.

I was thinking about this as I was worrying about a friend who is lonely.  She gets very sad, feels there's nothing to be happy about.  I read something she wrote.  It hurt my Heart.

I wrote back to her that loneliness can cause someone to make costly mistakes.  I didn't want her to do that.  Nor did I want her to waste time while ... waiting ... for a certain someone to say 'I love you'. Why?  Realistically ... the person may never say it.

All that precious time wasted ... waiting for nothing.  How many times have you ... waited in your young life ... older life ... for someone to say 'I love you'?   You know you have at least once if not more ... in your life no matter how popular, good-looking, 'perfect' you are.

I've been observing a couple who have been dating for 7 years now ... both are still uncertain how the other really feels about the other.  Each uses anger to control the other.  They won't speak for a couple of months at a time.  Oh my God ... look at all that precious time being wasted. They are old enough to know better.

I wasted precious time in my first marriage when I wasn't priority in it ... other women were.  I was just a very young girl, very naive who married someone older ... who'd already been around.  I was innocent.  I still don't hate that person.  I'm old enough now to know ... life can be that way ... no matter how sad.

Fourteen years.  I did it out of love, and my child.  Why?  Because I came from a f___ked up family, broken home and I didn't want my child to.

It didn't make any difference ... all of those young, precious years were gone.  They weren't appreciated by anyone.  I was the loser no matter how much I loved, cared.  My child was the loser, also.  It didn't get me anywhere.  All I learned was how bad life hurt ... how damn sad it was.

The danger here when a very young person is involved ... is that young person who has only known pain in their young life ... is very fragile.

They will begin to think no one wants them, they aren't any good to anyone, they are so lonely they can't bear it anymore.  They are ... fragile emotionally.

You know a person can be treated bad only so much in their life.  When a person gets that far in their thinking ... the next thing they think is ... the world would be better off without them in it.

How do I know so much about it?  Because from the time I was very young I had learned I was in the way and if it wasn't for me ... this could have been.  If it wasn't for me ... that could have been.

I caused so much grief in everyone's life unknowingly, so innocent ... being a little girl.  If I could have known, had a choice ... I would have chosen people who would have wanted me, give me a good life.  I sure wouldn't have chosen to be born in a crazy-ass family.

When I learned it was me who caused this, or that ... well, you know what can happen ... it did ... more than one time.  I learned about wanting to die ... several times I almost succeeded.

I won't go into any of that.  I may write about it later.  Words can't in no way make you feel the pain of such times.  I can't even begin to relate to you what I went through as a young child ... young woman.  I can't even describe the pain while in the process of ... committing suicide.

Okay ... you say 'well, you aren't the only one who felt pain'.  I say back to you ... that I'm writing about me ... not you.  You go write your own stories if you are tough enough to ... let someone learn from your experience ... share it.  Give someone hope that everything can be all right.

When I write ... I hope someone can learn young ... early enough to not waste those precious young years ... older years you have left in this world.  Learn to love yourself ... your world is about ... you.

Then ... someone else ... after you've taken care of you.  I wish I'd learned this as a young girl, woman.  I look back ... ha! ha!  I can't see anyone who could have taught me such things.  Only my Aunt Frankie tried in her quiet, sweet way ... then, someone would jump on her.  I was too young to understand but, years later ... her quiet, sweet voice ... her words were still in my mind.  

I can write as a female, woman.  In today's time ... a woman can go, do things alone ... and not look out of place.  She can do the things ... she loves to do.  She can make herself happy.  She can be her best friend ... or worse enemy.  She can love being alone with herself ... crafts, reading, writing, computer, projects ... the list goes on.

If she chooses to be her own best friend ... have confidence to go, do all she loves to do ... instead of holding back, sitting back ... waiting for a man to come in her life ... her life will be happy.  She is her own person!

Then ... when a man happens to come in her life ... she is confident enough in herself ... he sees it.  He treats her with respect, loves her for being that person.

This all is my ... Gloria Opinion ... and God knows I have a lot of them.  The best about that is ... I am very open-minded, known to change them at a moment's notice.  :)

Well, suppose the woman doesn't have money to do all she wants.  I say this ... find a way to get out in the world where there are people ... good people you want to meet.  Church, libraries ... groups ... even at a shopping mall.  Open your eyes ... do it in a safe way ... always be alert.

You never know where your Prince Charming is going to be .... he could be shopping, wanting to find a book, or he is in church.  Maybe he has a special group that is important to him.

I would say men could do the same ... since I am a woman, these are things I would think could make a difference in a lonely woman's life.

Get out there where people are ... they really won't know you exist if you stay hidden away.  Make them aware you are a part of this world, also.  You do have a place in this world.  You really are important.  You just need to wake up, realize it.

Claim your space in this world ... it's yours so, make it yours.  You don't have to stay lonely ... not in the world we live in today.


Note by this Author:

I am not an expert at anything but ... pain, grief experienced in my own life.  I guess I am an expert in the negative things in life ... and when knocked down ... I get up off my ass ... ready to do it again.  I face life head-on ... pain, grief and all.  Shove me down ... I'm going to get back up ...

No matter how bad ... all will be all right again.  No matter how negative ... I am a positive person.  There's good in bad ... yes, there really is ... open your eyes and look ... you'll see.

I claim my space unashamedly in this old world ...  and no matter what someone else thinks ... I am important.  I respect myself, so will others.

Who am I to dare say such things when I'm a nobody from childhood?  I say so ... I'm Queen of my mountain.

Sadly ... I just didn't learn this young enough to save all the precious years I wasted.  I've learned all the hard way ... and learned I did.

It's just a wonder I'm a good person today ... I could have been just as bad as being a good person.  It feels good to be good. :)

Oh ... this is only a little of what I think ... about being lonely, not having anyone.  I am going to say here, I am very fortunate to have my best friend, lover, soulmate, special someone ... my husband, Skip.  He, our 2 Pups, Kissy and Camie ... are my entire world.  I'm so grateful for them.

There's not a day that goes by ... without me being aware of that.  I never take anything for granted.  What I've come through in life will teach one that lesson ... good.

Photos/story are both owned, written by me.  These are my true thoughts and unless you can show me a better way to think about them ... this is what I think.  I am very open-minded.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

1 comment:

  1. You are so right!!!!! We have to make our own decisions and live with what we do and how we feel. Keep writing!! Love, Ms. Nancy