Monday, November 2, 2015

I Don't Want to Get Lost in the Darkness ... I Feel it too Near Me For Comfort

I Don't Want to Get Lost in the Darkness ... I Feel it too Near Me For Comfort
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

I don't know about you ... but, I can become very down when it rains for days at a time.  It's too close to the darkness I try to stay out of.

I have to watch myself so, that I don't become very sad.  I have many things to feel sad about ... so many people I love have died.  Not only that ... some living people I feel sad about.

You know how it is ... some things can trigger us to pull us down if we let them.  This is one of the triggers in my life.  Sunshine is the magic weapon against it ... no darkness in the sunshine, only warmth and ... comfort.

Today, I have been tempted to go to bed, stay there.  Of course, my legs have pulled my mood down since the accident.  Today, it's raining and I'm sure that makes the pain much worse.  So ... I may go to bed after I feed the Pups.

When I go to bed, I will turn the electric blanket on low ... warmth, comfort.  I need that on this very gloomy day.  Not only that, I feel it will help the awful pain in both my legs.

I'm not letting myself become depressed.  I am going to just enjoy the luxury of laying down on our comfortable bed, being warm.  I may take several naps, wake up ... watch tv ... nap again.

I will admit this very quickly, and let go.  I felt grief trying to consume me earlier today ... a friend called, and how Tommy died was talked about.  I felt the tears from my soul wanting to flow from my eyes like a diamond waterfall.  I'm going to be alright, I'm not going to cry.

This is the month (November 20, 1969) Tommy, my son was born.  I have been thinking about it.  It was a difficult birth, not only that ... the night before he was born ... there was an earthquake.  I try not to go back right now to think about it.  I don't think it's a good time.  I don't want to get lost in the darkness ... I feel it too near me for comfort.

Note by this Author:

This is one of those times that could pull me down ... grief.  It's been raining for two days ... no sunshine ... only gloominess.  It promises to be a couple more days like this.  I have to help myself not to become depressed, sad.

When Skip is around ... I love rainy days.  His love for rainy days is contagious ... I feel happiness, then.  When he isn't around ... you can see what happens.

Photo/story owned ... written by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


  1. I can understand what you are saying. My oldest grandson has this type of depression. I forgot what the name of it is. I also had a friend (has passed away now) that was depressed in the winter time. It is terrible but unfortunately a lot of people get depressed during winter months. I can see why it would be very easy for you to get depressed during this time. The weather people are calling for more rain all week. Just that is depressing sometimes. Like you I refuse to get depressed and let all this rain get me down! I keep telling myself we need rain to survive! So I try to smile when it rains! Love, Ms. Nancy

  2. Don't think of the dark think of rainbows after the rain.