Deaths In The Walmart Parking Lot ... Part 3 of Walter Sebastian Corbett Saga

Part 3 ... Deaths In The Walmart Parking Lot

Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

The man took a deep drag off his cigarette, blew it out slowly. He listened to the three girls laughing ... talking.

Finally, they all piled into the SUV. He watched the girls as they sat there. The tall blonde-headed girl was the driver. The man saw her lift her Bojangles cup up to drink from it.

All three girls were in deep conversation .... they each had a cup in their hands. As they talked, laughed they were drinking their drinks until ...

The driver's door opened ... the tall blonde girl began to get out ... she stumbled, fell to the pavement. She was choking. Her hands clutched at her throat. Her eyes bulged ... she couldn't breathe ... couldn't scream. She looked at the man standing nearby smoking a cigarette ... she never saw him as she slumped to the pavement.

A strange little smile pulled at the man's lips. One couldn't see his eyes behind his black sunglasses. No one would want to.

The passenger door flew open ... someone was trying to scream ... couldn't. The man casually walked to another car to stand ... watch.

The blonde girl saw him ... reached out begging him for help with her eyes. She couldn't breathe ... she had her hands to her throat fighting for every breath. It never registered in her mind that the man standing there was ... smiling ... she fell to the pavement where she took two breaths ... died.

The man was enjoying watching the girls ... he became bored when the third girl tried to get out of the SUV. Same old thing over and over ... he wanted to see something besides girls choking, dying.

The little smile went away as the third girl fell halfway out of the back door. She hung with her head almost touching the pavement ... her long, blonde hair pooled onto the pavement ... looking like melted gold.

The man walked away ... considering whether he wanted to get into another vehicle ... to see if anyone had left a drink in the drink holder. In his pocket ... he had a bottle ... it had a skull ... crossbones on it.

Call 911! The man turned around to see people running to where a woman stood ... pointing to the girls. He smiled ... walked away. He was hungry ... today was national doughnut day ... he knew just where to get one.

He would wait to have some more fun ... only thing was ... he would have to think of ways to make it lively ... interesting. He didn't like to see death come early. He would think on it while he ate his doughnuts.

Some people are like the wind ... you feel it but ... never see it. Invisible danger. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Note from this author: Pay attention to people who are there ... and you don't notice them. Look closely ... you never know if the man with the strange little smile is standing there.

All About Having Fun ... Part 2 of Walter Sebastian Corbett Saga

All About Having Fun ... Part 2

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Pretty girls in their short-shorts ... my oh my, what pretty legs! They were everywhere. Three blonde -headed girls walked ... swished by him. The little bitches never saw him. That was okay ... he ... saw them.

He hoped they all three would walk to the red SUV sitting right there ... and sure enough! they did! The man leaned against a car where he had them in full sight ... man, this was going to be fun!

He pulled a pack of Winston cigarettes from his shirt pocket ... took a cigarette out ... lit it. All the while the girls were playing, being silly ... squealing those girly-ass screams young girls do. It just made him sick ... pissed off ... excited.

He thought about speaking to them ... making ... them look at him. Sometimes ... he got damn tired of nobody looking at him. He was going to remedy that in the near future ... he was going to make ... someone ... look at him. They might not live to tell it but, he bet they would pay attention to him ... he knew exactly what to do.

His eyes took in the taller, blonde girl ... what he could do to her. Her beautiful smile ... long, blonde hair blowing in the breeze ... little short-shorts ... tight, little ass. Yep, soon ... he was going to get someone to ... pay attention to him. Right now ... he couldn't wait for the prissy-ass girls to get into the SUV.

Watch your back when you ignore people ... you don't see. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

To be continued sometime ... today. Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee. In the meantime ... pay attention to people you don't usually 'see' ... in parking lots ... at the beach 

Excitement At The Beach! Part 1 ... Walter Sebastian Corbett Saga

DO NOT READ IF YOU SCARE EASILY ... This is the beginning of ...The Walter Sebastian Corbett Saga ... It is written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny and ... her special friend who is writing with her ... to entertain you while we have fun playing ideas and such off the other.  

My friend's name will be on her stories as she writes ... Camille Lunsford.  We are girls who are wanting to just have fun!  :)

Excitement At The Beach ...written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/Granny Gee ...  Part 1

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

He sat on the beach under a blue, white striped umbrella. The towel he sat on was blue. Black sunglasses sat on his face. If you looked at him and people didn't ... you'd forget him as soon as you turned away.

He watched the children play, run splashing through the ocean waves ... the man sat with a strange, little smile playing about his lips.

Should he ... shouldn't he? His hand felt the little vial in his shorts pocket ...

Before the man came to the beach, he'd listened to the news. He was surprised to hear sharks were swimming here at the beach close to the beach-goers. As he listened to the news ... the strange, little smile began.

He felt excitement ... adrenaline began pumping. He was going to the beach.
No one paid him any mind as he walked around to find the perfect spot to put his umbrella ... he didn't stand out to anyone.

That's exactly ... why ... no one ever saw anything out of the ordinary ... when ... extraordinary things happened. He was like the wind blowing ... he was there but ... no one saw him.

The man stood up ... began to stroll toward the waves. He felt the warm, foamy water splash his feet. He closed his eyes ... listened to the children play. A mother called to her child to come eat a sandwich, rest for a few minutes.

Well, that would be one lucky child the man thought. Go eat your sandwich little boy ... one day you'll look back to this day ... realize how lucky you were, thank your mother for calling you in.

He walked into the water ... stopped to enjoy the warm water that came to his waist. This was as far as he would go ... he wanted to have some fun.

His hand fondled the vial in his shorts' pocket. All he had to do was flip the lid on it ... walk casually back to the beach ... sit ... watch the fun.

There were many children, adults playing in the water. Some were farther out than he went. Perfect ... the strange, little smile made his lips quiver.

His finger pressed against the lid on the vial ... it ... popped open.

The man walked casually back the way he came. The little vial emptied its contents all along the way ...

He reached the beach ...began walking to his umbrella ... towel. No one ever looked at him ... why would they?

He sat down on his blue towel ... waited. Five minutes went by ... nothing happened.

He heard another mother call her child to come take his medicine, then he could play all he wanted to. He saw the little boy run out of the water onto the beach to go to his mother.

Someone squealed ... laughed loudly. Something bumped her on the leg he heard the girl say. She thought it was her boyfriend playing with her.

People laughed nearby ... it was funny ... everyone loves to see guys play with their girls. It was so cute!

The girl screamed out ... the man heard laughter again. The people nearby didn't pay the girl any mind ... her boyfriend was playing with her ... trying to scare her.

Help! Help me! The girl began screaming bloody murder. No one paid her any attention ... her boyfriend began screaming. Shark! Shark!

The man on the beach ... reached in his bag ... took out a package of peanut butter crackers. He opened his cooler ... took out a Coca-Cola. He was ready to watch the action. He was glad he had come to the beach!

He watched as he nibbled on his peanut butter cracker. Damn ... it was good! He was in a trance by now ... he felt like he was at a good movie.

He drank a big gulp of Coca-Cola ... it mixed with the peanut butter cracker ... the flavor was wonderful.

People were running to the water to see what was happening. Everyone was screaming ... everyone was trying to get out of the water.

The man watched as the water turn red. Oh my ... this was fun! People were pulling other people out of the water ... some were missing legs ... arms.

The man was licking some peanut butter off his lips as he watched a body being dragged to shore .... it had no head. That sure was some good peanut butter in those crackers he thought.

Soon, the rescue crew came ... they began helping the people who were mangled ... many lay dead on the beach.

The water was red .... the man saw fins swimming close to the shore. He knew a shark could bite a person in very little water.

Finally, the last person was carted off to the hospital. The man was the last person left on the beach.

No one ever saw him ... no one would ever know ... about the little vial of blood he took into the ocean.

My ... what a beautiful day. Seagulls sang ... puffy, white clouds floated in the sky ... a man walked on the beach ... he ran when the waves rushed about his bare feet. It was a beautiful picture ... nothing bad could touch this.

He had one more peanut butter cracker to nibble on as he walked on the beach. He nibbled to his heart's content ... downed the last swig of his Coca-Cola. He saw peanut butter on his fingers from the crackers ... he licked it off.

It was a good day to watch sharks play. He had a good time ... now it was time to go home. He wished he'd brought popcorn ... maybe next time.

Amazing the power we hold in our hands. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

My Daddy's Up There!

My Daddy's Up There!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  ... Tommy died on this beach near the lifeguard chair ... which is located to the left in the photo ...

I can see it in my mind
Bare feet walking ... picking up speed
In the excitement of being at the beach!






A son and his little boy together
For the first time to play at the beach
Never knowing ... it was the last time






They ran ... played, laughed ... squealed with delight
What a beautiful day!
Blonde hair ... blue eyes ... smiles so big






Look, daddy!  Come see, daddy!  Run with me, daddy!
Both standing on the shore to look out at the sea
The Little guy wanting to be like his daddy ... a big guy






The daddy sent a video on his phone to his mother
Two hundred miles away ... she smiled watching
Her grandson as he stood there with his little hat on






The little boy had begun wanting to be just like daddy
Their bond was becoming very strong
He was becoming his daddy's boy






I want to be like you, Daddy
I want to drive a big truck like you, daddy
The little boy loved his daddy with his heart






Seagulls sang a beautiful song as the two ran ... played
Puffy white clouds floated in the very blue sky
The sea breeze caressed their faces, arms ... legs






Oh, what a beautiful day!  It was a perfect day
To go home ... walk into Heaven
Beautiful as much as sad to leave a little boy






The moment came ... Tommy knew and ... maybe he didn't know
When he grabbed his little boy's hand
They ran to the beach to play






They hadn't been there long
When the seagulls began to sing
It's time to come home, Tommy ...







He looked with sadness at the little boy
Who looked so much like him
I don't want to leave you, son






It's time for me to go
Remember this beautiful moment
Your daddy's last wish






To play with his little son for the first time
At the beach
Never knowing it would be the last time






You see ... Tommy had changed his mind
To go on this vacation at the last minute
He was going to stay behind






When the thoughts of playing at the ocean
With Taban ... his little son came into his mind
He became excited like a little boy himself






Tommy had been through a tragic event
Only one year before
A man was accidentally killed






When his car broke down on the interstate
On a bridge in Tennessee
The man opened his door, stepped out






He stepped out as Tommy's truck went by
Tommy never recovered from this awful tragedy
Mama, I killed a man!  he cried

Tommy couldn't find any happiness for the grief
Survivor's grief they called it
Until the night before he ... himself died






The moment he changed his mind to go to the beach
To play with his little son for the first time
Exactly one year later when his truck killed the man






Almost to the date in the month of May
May 17, 2009 ... when the accident occurred
Tommy died May 29, 2010






Tommy never got over what happened
He had such a kind heart ... it became broken
Knowing he'd killed someone never meaning to






No matter what the law enforcement told him
Tommy ... that's why they call such things ... an accident
He never coped with being responsible






How do you stop a moving truck
At the last moment when a car door opens
A man steps into your path ...






Tommy's mind told him a million ways
He could have prevented it ... no way he could have
In 3 lanes of traffic ... nowhere to go






In the next lane ... a mother drove
With 3 children ... a family
Tommy tried to squeeze between them and the man






If only ... oh God, if only
The man had stayed in his car
If only, oh if only he hadn't stepped out






My son died inside that day
He was never the same ... it broke my heart
My son, my only child ... my baby






He had just begun showing signs of happiness
Just before he died ... he was going back to school
He was staying home to be with his little son instead of on the road






The night before ... Tommy came to me
To me and Skip ... Mama!  I'm going to the beach
To play with my little son for the first time ever!






His sunshine smile was the brightest
I think I'd ever seen it
Oh, thank you, God!  Thank you!






Thank you for sending him to me
The evening before his death ... to spend  time
With Skip and I






Skip came home early from work that day
Something he'd never done
We still don't remember why






The important thing is ... he came home
Never knowing this was the last time
He'd see Tommy ... someone he loved dearly, was close to






Tommy power-washed the house
Saying ... Mama, I want to do this before ... I go
I remember watching him as he worked






When he finished ... he power-washed our vehicles
He worked very hard
When he finished ... he and Skip sat at the picnic table






I made sandwiches with Boar's Head cold cuts
I'll never forget ... oh my!
You should have heard Tommy when he bit into one






Oh, mama!  This is the best sandwich I've ever had
Oh, Tommy, you know it isn't
You are just saying that!






No, Mama ... this IS the best sandwich I've ever had
The whole time ... he lit up my world
With his beautiful ... sunshine smile





My son ... my golden child ... my only child
We shared a deep bond
A forever bond between mother and son






We laughed, talked happily until ...
Mama, I have to go
I hugged him with my very Heart






I love you, Son ... I wish you didn't have to go
Just always remember your Ole Mom loves you
He smiled so big ... looking down at me






The love I felt for my son made my Heart squeeze
I can't put that love into mere words
It's a feeling ... a mother's feeling for her child






I watched my beautiful son ... a man of 6' 2" walked away
Get into his big, white pickup ... begin to drive away
Bye Tommy!  Bye Son!  I love you, I love you!






The last words I heard my son say were ... I love you, Mama!
It was the last time I saw his beautiful sunshine smile
See his twinkling eyes of blue






The sun was shining brightly as I stood in that moment
Never knowing my world was getting ready to end
I waved happily ... I loved my son so






I don't think he wanted to leave that evening
He stayed as long as he could
Maybe he had a feeling ... I think we all do






That's because why do moments such as these
Stand out the way they do
Unusual things happen that normally ... don't happen






In my life ... I thank God over and over
For giving me this special last time with my son
It was the only comfort I hung onto after his death






The comfort of knowing I told Tommy over and over
Your Ole Mom loves you, Son
I didn't care how many times I told him






You are most special to me, Son
He'd smile his sunshine smile
Oh, Mama! I love you too!






It was like we always had to tell each other
We lost each other for 3 years never knowing where ...
The other was ... we suffered such heartache






When we found each other our mother-son
Bond went so deep as to never be broken
We knew then ... how it felt to lose someone special






How thankful we were to have each other back
I'll never forget when my son disappeared ... I never knew I'd see him
When we were reunited ... I never knew I'd lose him again






Now ... he can't come back ... I don't have to wonder
Where he was taken ... what is he doing ... where's my baby!
I know because I saw ... my son in that ... wooden box






The box that sat under the bright light
The box a little boy ran up to ... climbed on
Daddy!  That's my daddy!






My mind is numb to that time ... some moments
Stand out to me ... such as the moment my hand
Touched a ... scar on the back of his head... from the autopsy






The moment I forever floated in a sea of people
Maybe smiling ... I don't know
The medicine I was given ... mercifully numbed me






I floated like a leaf on a current of water
Here ... there ... everywhere
I don't know ... just anywhere






The moment I walked up to the wooden box
Looked down at ... my ... baby
My son ... for the last time






Tommy!  Tommy!  Tommy!
I cried inside my Heart
Deep inside my soul ... I never made a sound for anyone to hear






The moment ... Skip took me outside the funeral home
Tommy was going to be cremated
I'd never see him again






The moment Skip said ... Look!
My eyes followed his finger as he pointed
My gaze settled on a beautiful rainbow!






A beautiful rainbow in the sky!
Tommy ... oh Tommy, did you do that?
Tommy, please don't go!






I cried myself into a darkness
I didn't want to ever come out of
I stayed there for 3 years






I tried to see the light
I couldn't bear it ... the knowledge
Of my son dying was bigger than I






Tommy's gone ... my sunshine went away
I was in the darkest of dark
A grieving mother ... on a road I didn't know






Somehow ... this mother was on a road
She'd never traveled ... a road to Hell
Darkness ... crying ... grieving like no one knows






She'll never recover from this
She heard them say over and over
She might even go crazy ... some mothers do






Oh ... she should get over her grief in 2 weeks
Tommy's dead and gone
He's in a better place






Tommy's gone to eat in the sky
The biggest ... best meal he's ever had
He is in a better place






Do you know ... in the darkness I heard these things
Never commenting ... listening to such
I realized people talk ... never 'knowing' the things they say






Never realizing what they say
Never thinking ... what they are saying
To a grieving person when they say these things






They aren't true ... no one KNOWS these things personally
We all tell ourselves ... our loved ones these things
Thinking they comfort ... ease the pain, the grief






No, they don't ... maybe some people they do
They didn't me ... I have to face the truth head-on
Tommy died ... he wasn't in a better place






Why would I think my child was in a ... better place
When I knew ... he was coming to a better place
In his life after a tragedy?






Why would I think he was going to go eat the best meal
When ... the sandwich I made for Tommy
Was ... 'Mama, that was the best sandwich in the world!'






No ... no one can convince me Tommy's in a ... better place
That may comfort others ... not me
I don't need anything ... sugar-coated in my life






I meet life head-on ... fall down ... get up
When Tommy died ... that was the longest it ever took
For me to get back up ... I truly didn't know I would






I got up ... I crawled ... kept falling back into
The sea of grief ... I choked on the darkness
Trying to breathe ... to come back






The lifesavers thrown to me were words ... sounds
From Skip ... our Pups ... they were always ... there
I heard but ... couldn't respond






I kept grabbing at them ... to hold on
I was dying inside ... no ... I had died
I didn't know the difference






How does one know anything in darkness
I couldn't find my way to come back
Skip ... our Pups ... their sounds ... words






Led me through the tunnels of grief
Once in a while, I would see a splash of light
Light ... life ... light ... life ... I wanted to live!






I began to cope ... I began to live
It took so long ... to bring 'ME' back
Years ... months ... weeks






If my tears were diamonds I would be the richest
Richest woman in this world
Someday I would like to have a ring ... of diamonds in a waterfall






A waterfall to represent my tears of a grieving mother
Cascading into a ... pool ... sparkling, clean ... with
With a hint of sunshine ... blue sky ... puffy white clouds and a seagull






Silly ... but if I were rich ... I would design a special ring
For grieving mothers ... to represent their pain
Like a waterfall of tears cascading into the deepest pool ...






Tommy ... Taban ran on the beach that evening
Sunshine kissed their shiny, blonde hair ... lit their blue-blue eyes
As they ran, played ... calling to each other






I can see it in my mind ... Tommy ... Taban
My eyes look up to see the white seagulls as they flew overhead
I can hear the most beautiful song as they sang






Tommy ... it's time to come home ... Tommy, come home
My heart cries ... please don't take him before I go
In my mind ... I can think anything I want to






I see Tommy look around him ... at his son
Maybe he had time to show a sadness in his eyes
To leave this world ... his son ... family behind






Maybe he had just a tiny moment to remember these words
Tommy ... your Ole Mom loves you
Maybe ... maybe ... maybe






I can see him look down at a little golden boy just like him
Maybe put his big hand on his head
I love you, son ...







Maybe ... he didn't have time to say
I ... have to go
It's time for me to go home







I wanted to come to the beach to play with you for the first time
Never knowing it would be my last time with you
We barely made it time!  Just long enough to do what I wanted to do most!






Maybe ... Tommy felt such a happiness as the angels
Gently guided his body to the soft ... soft sand
Happiness soared with his soul as it flew with the seagulls






I did what I wanted to do ... most of all
I came to the beach ... barely made it to the beach in time
To play with my son for the first time ever ... never knowing it was my last






How can my son ever know this?
Through the words of Ole Mom ... as she writes them
Leaves them ... everywhere






Taban, your father loved you ... thought of you
Until his last moment on earth
He died a beautiful death ...though sad ... but doing what he wanted to do most







I can tell his story over and over
Someday ... you and your sister will read your Granny Gee's words
To know ... the 'whys?' I can't see you ... I can think of you






Someday ... you'll realize through the years
You didn't think of me ... but ... Granny Gee thought of you every day
It's okay ... it doesn't matter ... one day you'll know you weren't ever forgotten






Taban ... I remember after your daddy's death
You would point to the sky
My eyes would follow your little finger ... my daddy's up there!










Note by this Author:






I will write about my son until my last breath.  He will always be remembered.  Tommy lived just like you ... he laughed, cried, ran, walked, worked, all the things you ... I ... do, did.






I won't let him be forgotten.  I leave my words that will always float on the air ... hoping one day Tommy's children ... Taban and Taylor McKenzie read them.






I know his daughter never knew how much he loved her ... he was blocked from seeing her ... when he fought hard to have her in his life ... her mother did things she shouldn't ... to turn Tommy's child against him to cause her not to come spend time with him ... it broke Tommy's heart.






I saw Tommy cry ... have you ever watched a big, strong, 'invincible' man cry?  Your son cry?  It's the saddest of sad feelings for a mother ... she cries with him.  Just as the day the accident happened to Tommy and the man ... as Tommy's mother ... I felt I was there ... I felt his pain ... I cried as if I were the one who drove the truck ... when the man stepped out in front of Tommy.  Mothers ... are like that when they love their children.






To this day ... I hold no anger, hate ... bad feelings toward my grandchildren's mothers.  You see ... the way I grew up I watched this sort of thing play over and over in my life ... I was a part of it.  I know ... things happen ... it takes many years to learn that you should have done this ... done that.  By that time ... it's too late.






That's okay ... sad, painful but ... okay.  I understand ... I know there'll be regrets in the mothers' hearts.  If they ever read this ... they will know I was the best friend they could ever had ... I forgave a long time ago ... I understand life ... we all do the things we think is best ... even if wrong.  I love them just as I do my grandchildren ... my child's children ... Tommy's son and daughter.  I'm always there ...






Tommy's mother ... Taban and McKenzie's grandmother ... me ... Gloria ... Granny Gee ... is like a redwood tree ... standing tall as possible even after weathering storm after storm.  I will remain this way until the day ... I also ... die.






In the meantime ... I've coped with the loss of my only child ... my son, Tommy.  I'll make golden dragonflies with their colors in memory of Tommy ... place them for others to find a little piece of happiness, hope, love through my love, pain for my son.  I'll always remember ... Tommy.






Photos ... true story/poem are owned ... written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee  (Tommy named me 'Granny Gee' for grandchildren I'd never know).

Tommy Died A Beautiful Death ...

Thank you, Tracey James ... Mary James ... you 'brought Tommy to me' ... and went out of your way on your vacations to do so.  You are forever in my Heart.  I love you both.  Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.







I'm grateful my son, Tommy ... died a beautiful death so when I think of him ... I can see beauty in my mind. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

May 29, 2010, on a Saturday evening ... Tommy and his family arrived at their destination. They were excited ... they were spending a week at Myrtle Beach. 

Sands Beach Club Hotel ... 9400 Shore Drive ... Myrtle Beach, SC. They were putting their luggage on the luggage rack to roll onto the elevator to go to their room. Tommy was helping when ... a lot of luggage fell off. His wife got upset ... she never knew when Tommy took Taban's hand (his little 3-year-old son) ... disappeared. 

Looking back it's a good thing all happened as it did ... Tommy didn't have long in his life to go fulfill his wish to play at the beach for the first time with his little son. 

Looking back ... he barely made it to the beach in time. A big guy and a little guy ran, squealed, played on the beach ... waves washed ashore ... seagulls sang ... puffy white clouds floated overhead in the blue-blue sky. It was a lovely evening ... made more beautiful with the love a father shared with his son. 

Matching smiles of sunshine lit up the beach that evening ... I felt the glow ... 200 miles away. This mother was smiling as she looked at the few photos and a video Tommy sent. It stopped ... I knew they were playing. I smiled to myself as I sat at my computer. 

You see ... the night before Tommy expressed how excited he was to go to the beach to play for the first time ever ... with his little son. He wasn't going on vacation at first with the family ... Tommy was coping with a tragedy that happened one year prior ... everyone was trying to help him ... get back to living life. 

For some reason I never knew ... Tommy changed his mind to go ... Thank God. He would have been home alone ... when he died. 

It's very sad my son died ... Thank God ... he died a beautiful death ... one his son can grow up remembering. One ... his mother can associate with blue skies, puffy clouds, seagulls, the sound of the ocean waves, soft beach sand, seashells. 

Today, May 29, 2017 ... Tommy died 7 years ago ... and it seems like yesterday. I haven't forgotten him ... he could walk into this door right this moment ... it would be just like he never left. I smile thinking about that. He may be standing next to me and I not know it. 

The only thing changed is that I've come to peace with losing my son ... I had no choice if I wanted to live. Yes, I'll cry ... become sad time to time ... that's only normal when a mother grieves for her child. Grief is love ... love is grief ... the saddest love of all. 

No one wants to be a grieving parent ... it is a 'whole other ballgame'. On this day I can sit here ... I smile thinking about my son. Tears come to my eyes ... sadness in my Heart. Everything is alright ... I am alright ... today is a beautiful day. 

I'm sitting here ... remembering Tommy, my only child ... my son ... the beautiful part of me that is gone. The beautiful part of me I lost ... forever in my Heart to be found. That's where Tommy is today ... when tears flow down my cheeks and sadness squeezes my Heart ... I know when I've found him. 

Life is like this ... we lose our children. We shouldn't but, more mothers lose a child today. The good thing about my child is I have beautiful images in my mind ... he died in a beautiful place doing a beautiful thing with his own beautiful child. 

Tommy died a beautiful death ... no matter how sad, painful. For that I am grateful. I love you all the way to Heaven, Tommy. Your Ole Mom loves you. 

Thank you, Tracey James ... Mary James ... you 'brought Tommy to me' ... you wrote in the beach sand a message from me to Tommy that's in the photo above ... and you left a Tommy Dragonfly I made ... by that message. I love you with my Heart.

Tommy Dragonflies ... No Strings Attached

Tommy Dragonflies ... No Strings Attached
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Tommy Dragonflies I make to leave for others to find ... no strings attached ... in memory of my son, Tommy.

Seagulls flew overhead ... with their seagull sounds
All seemed normal ... a day at the beach
Waves washed ashore ... warm winds blew




Close your eyes ... breathe in ... breathe out
Aw-www ... so relaxing ... vacation time!
Seagulls sang their songs ... glided on the wind




Looking out at the ocean ... the blue and white sky
I become aware of the soft, wet sand between my toes
Warm waves washing the sand around my feet





I see a blonde man running, playing with his little son
A little boy who looked just like his daddy ... two peas in a pod
Laughter, squeals of joy ... as the two ran ... played




What a beautiful sight ... father and son playing on the beach
I turned away to see what I could see ... turned back
In the instant, my eyes looked away ... the man collapsed to the sand




The little boy ran to him ... fell on his knees ... Daddy!
Daddy! come play!  Daddy, get up!  Let's run ... let's play!
I saw on his little face as he realized ... Daddy wasn't getting up




The little boy began to cry ... he and his daddy were all alone
They had sneaked off from the family to come play on the beach
Daddy! Please get up ... Daddy!




A family approached the little boy ... they had been watching
Watching the little boy and his daddy play
A man picked up the little boy's daddy's phone ... pressed redial




Two hundred miles away ... a woman answered the phone
Excitement ... a smile in her voice ... Tommy!
A stranger spoke ... confusion spread on the woman's face




Her happy smile slid from her face ... never to be found
It was her last happy smile for her son whenever he called her
He never called again ... the stranger spoke to her




"Ma'am, I have a man collapsed here on the beach ... he isn't breathing"
The woman asked him why did he have her son's phone
The man repeated ... "Ma'am, I have a man collapsed here on the beach ... he isn't breathing"




The woman called for her husband ... Skip!
She handed him the phone ... listened as shock set in
Her baby was dead?  No!  She tried to listen but, couldn't hear




She was conscious enough to tell her husband to get her to the hospital
To tell the doctor to give her something to make the pain go away
Please help me, she cried ... this is too big for me to hold inside




No!  Tommy's gone!  She tried to cry but, it hurt too bad
She was in another world when her husband got her to the hospital
She barely remembered the needle placed in her arm




Darkness ... darkness became her friend
Darkness wrapped around her like a blanket
Holding, comforting her for many months to come




Her only child was gone ... she'd never see him again
Never hear his voice, laughter ... see his smile
How could she live with such knowledge ... she couldn't




Looking back ... I stayed in darkness for 3 years
I tried to find spots of light in the cave I was in
I wanted to come back to the surface




When I did ... the knowledge my son was gone forever
Was too heavy for me to bear ... I fell back into darkness
Where I didn't have to think ... remember




Oh my God ... my son ... my child was dead ... he really died!
How could I live with that ... I wanted to die
I could have been dead for all I knew ... I would have never known the difference




Taking medicine ... never used to taking anything
The medicine was potent ... making me sleep the sleep of death
Barely breathing ... Skip watched over me ... pleaded with me not to take it anymore




I don't remember how much I took ... or times to take it
The pain told me when to take it
Thank God for the darkness ... oh God ... I'm afraid of the dark!




Skip's voice ... cold Pup's noses ... kept pulling at me to come back
Little by little I could begin to think again ... then ... like a turtle
I'd run back into my shell of darkness ... my blanket to comfort me




Little by little ... I have no concept of the time ... I would think
I wanted to come back ... I wanted to live ... I couldn't for the pain
Why should I live ... Tommy was gone ... how could I live with such knowledge?




I've never carried such a load on my shoulders as the knowledge of my son's death
No one could see it ... no one could see why I looked like I did ... they did see a broken woman
No one thought to ask 'why?' I'd changed so drastically ... I never told them but ... I did see the shock in their faces




I began to write my pain away ... like a river of water
My words began to flow ... pain from my Heart flowed out from my fingertips
To my keyboard ... I couldn't stop ... even to this day I haven't stopped writing




I write to live ... I live to write ... doesn't matter if it's good ... bad
I write my pain ... I don't have enough room inside for the pain ... I'm not big enough
'I Cry For Tommy' ... is the book I wrote ... pure grief, pure pain for the child I lost ... it saved my life




I make golden, beaded dragonflies in memory of my son
I leave them in public to remember Tommy
And ... to bring someone joy, happiness in finding one




Writing ... creating dragonflies are my ways to remember my son ... Tommy
Writing ... creating dragonflies keeps the pain from pooling up inside me
Writing ... creating dragonflies ... like a river of water ... constantly keeps the pain flowing from me




Writing helps me to live ... I live to write ... no matter good or bad
I keep the pain flowing ... mixed with my diamond teardrops
I write ... I have to ... I can't keep it inside ... I might die




When you find one of my Tommy Dragonflies ... look at it ... really look at it
Look beyond the gold wire, beads ... can you see, feel my pain?
No ... you can't ... it's not meant for you to ... it's meant for you to find ... feel joy in your own Heart




I remember Tommy ... my precious son
While you have a little treasure to bring you joy, hopefully, good luck
You can help me remember Tommy ... it's okay if you don't




My Tommy dragonflies have no strings attached
So if you find one ... I'm honored if you want to keep it
Keep it knowing love from my hands made it ... it was meant for You to find ... no one else








Note from this Author:

This month is the month Tommy died ... May 29, 2010 ... Memorial Day weekend.  I was so happy when he called a short time before he died ... he called to say, "Mama, we are here! I'll call you in a little while".



I was very happy and relieved to know he and his family had made it to Myrtle Beach, SC safely.  They were going to stay a week in the hotel where they'd made reservations ... it was on the beach at 9400 Shore Drive at Sands Beach Club Hotel.



You know how mothers are ... they worry until they know their children are safe ... especially when traveling on holidays.  I wasn't any different.



I write about Tommy ... real life ... real grief ... I have to write.  When I write ... it isn't to gain sympathy ... it's writing the pain so I can live.  When you read it ... feel it ... you can go away ... if you see someone in your life suffering from grief, pain ... I hope you'll feel compassion.  Just care a little ... a little means a lot.



I didn't tell people when Tommy died as I've always been private.  I am like that just as you are like the way you are.  I never talked about it ... I grieved and withdrew from everything.



So when people saw me ... they had to have thought 'Oh my God, what has happened to Gloria!"  I never bothered to tell them anything ... I did see their expressions ... their eyes.  It was the same way when I had cancer ... Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Why?



Once when I was gravely ill ... Skip wanted me to get out of the house and go to the supermarket with him ... he talked me into it.  I was so weak ... I walked very slowly ... I looked very bad.  I was going through chemo.



We saw a friend I'd known for many years coming down the aisle toward me.  He was an older man.  He saw me ... his eyes registered who I was ... I saw shock ... he stopped, turned his back ... went away.  He never spoke to me ... he did leave me standing there in that aisle ... devastated.  I never forgot it.  It left me knowing no one cares when you are ... 'in a bad way'.



It also left me to always walk up to someone I know if I ever see them not well ... let them know I care.  No one has to tell me that because ... all I've been through has strengthened me ... I can cope with it.  I'm like a Redwood tree ... strong ... weathered many storms ... still standing.  Just because I cry ... doesn't mean I'm weak.





Just because I cry ... doesn't mean I'm weak. By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.




By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I Waved ... They Turned Their Head

I Waved ... They Turned Their Head






Written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  Photos are also ... property of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Have you ever had a flashback to something that happened years ago?  I did this morning at something that was most unfair to Skip and I.  Why I thought of it ... I don't know because ... I never dwell on anything from the past.  This was so unfair ... but, sometimes life isn't ... fair at times.


Dwelling on the past isn't healthy ... it would be like ... regurgitating your already eaten food up ... rechewing it again ... swallowing it.  Who wants to do that?


Yes, I know when we are young we have to learn not ... to live in the past.  Once we get past that point ... we have made some kind of peace inside and look forward ... to living in the present.


I know very well the things that I came through in my own life ... I had quite a time of learning to cope with 'bad' things that happened to me since being very little.  So ... it's easier said than ... doing it.  Doing it means working at it even sometimes for ... years.


The only thing from the past that bothers me are the deaths of all my family members ... the worst being my only child ... Tommy.


I don't dwell on any of it ... I just cope with the grief when it strikes like lightning ...unexpectedly.
Then ... I become a storm of tears and darkness until ... I climb out of it like being in a dark cave ... looking for the light to show me the way out.


Getting back to my flashback.  Skip and I've always been people who care about others ... when we used to have a lot we always shared ... we always gave things to others we didn't need, use ... things that were well-taken care of and still looked new.  We bought things ... not the cheapest ... to give. We never gave ... trash.


We also, gave money to others unexpectedly ... when we felt someone needed a little extra help ... they never had to ask us.  We would find a way of doing it so the person (s) would never know we were trying to make a way to do so without embarrassing them.


I wish those days were still here ... we love to give ... now, we are on a limited income.  But ... we still give, share.  :)


We have always loved people ... animals.  You wouldn't believe the things we have done for others through time ... and I won't go into it ... why would I when we believe when one gives ... you go on to let go once you do.  When we use to travel ... we made a difference in strangers' lives.


Getting back to my flashback this morning ... I don't know 'why?' the vision came to my mind of seeing people we'd given a beautiful 52" color tv to.  The tv had never sat on the floor ... it had wheels.  We took care of it.  We had updated to a flat-screen tv.

These people had seen our big-screen tv and wished for one like it.  Being us ... Skip and I always said when we got another tv ... we would give it to those people ... but ... we wouldn't tell them ... we would just do it when the time came.


Time went on ... and they got into a dispute with some of their relatives ... they tried to get us to take sides.  We wouldn't ... we cared about everyone.  Time went on ... we got our flat-screen tv ... called them up ... we were excited to see their faces when we gave them something they wished for so much.


Oh my ... they were pure-thrilled to get that big-screen tv.  They kept remarking on how new it looked ... how beautiful the picture was ... how it'd never sat on the floor ... they were so happy.  You would have thought they'd won a million dollars.


I can't tell you how happy we were to ... make them happy.  That's the whole thing ... the biggest reward ... that wonderful feeling of making a good difference in someone's life.


Unless you are a giver ... you won't ever understand.  If you are a giver ... oh my ... you know how wonderful it feels to bring a big old smile to someone's face ... eyes.  How wonderful to see their faces ... hear their excited voices ... and know you helped to put it there.  They talked about that big-screen tv for days.


Time went on ... and their feud with their family grew bigger ... these people tried to get Skip and me to take sides.  Of course ... we didn't ... we don't like to be drawn into other people's business nor their fights.


More time went by ... these people began to act cool toward Skip and me ... we lived beside them at that time.  Oh ... how it devastated Skip and I.  It was like our hands were tied ... no matter when they called us ... they couldn't understand why we wouldn't choose 'their side'.  They couldn't understand we weren't like that ... we loved everyone.


The day came ... they packed up to move away.  My flashback vision this morning was standing on the porch to wave at them.


They were putting the big-screen tv on the back of their pickup ... looked up at me ... I waved to them from the porch.  They turned their heads ... backs to me ... no one ever waved back to me.


I have to be truthful here ... though I don't look back in the past often ... this particular moment flashes back to me.  The sun was shining ... it was a beautiful day ... when they didn't wave back to me ... I felt such pain in my Heart.  I loved them ... simple as that.


Waving to them ... they saw me ... turning their backs on me.  No one ever waved back to me.  I just hung my head ... walked back into the house.  I felt very sad.


The only time we ever heard from them was a phone call months later ... wanting us to go to court to be on their side.  Just like always ... I told them we cared about all of them and we couldn't do that. The whole feud was 'silly' ... but, in their minds it was a big thing.  They 'don't see us' when we meet once in a while in a store.


Have you ever waved to someone ... they look straight at you ... turn their backs to you?  Did it hurt?

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Note by this Author:


This really happened ... it did hurt both Skip and I.  I know ... I know ... we can't expect everyone to feel like we do.  We cared about those people ... this was at a time when we believed friendship would ... last forever.


This was one of those times that taught us a life's lesson ... friendship doesn't last forever with some people.  Some people get what they want from you ... after that ... you don't exist anymore.


We were and are ... very private people ... we never visited them.  The man would call Skip sometimes.  So ... we never bothered them nor got into their life.  They tried to get into our life ... in gentle, firm ways ... we wouldn't allow that.


It's okay now ... it's been years since this happened.  I think of several things I was taught as a child (it is a wonder I was taught anything and just grew up to be a pure ... wild-ass hellion!).


I was taught that familiarity breeds contempt.  It's very true ... you don't get so close that you tell everyone everything about yourself.


You don't allow them into your home, personal life ... you keep at least some of that from anyone.  If you notice ... when something happens another person will hurt, destroy your life if they can.  Your private life goes to hell.


This is solely what I learned through time ... and how I live.  I don't allow anyone to get close enough to me to know my most private life, thoughts, feelings.


I'm a loyal, true friend, good person ... I mind my business and stay out of others' lives.  I'm best at being a 'long-distance' friend ... one that won't ever get into someone else's life.  Why?  I RESPECT ... CARE ... that's why.


I'm fortunate to grow up somehow to be a good person.  I met a lot of good people through time ... I guess somehow they became a part of me by the things I learned from them.


I shudder to think of 'the things' I could have done if I hadn't been a good person inside ... to begin with.  I would be like some of the family I knew ... ruthless, angry ready to destroy other lives ... just plain damn mean ... envious, hating ... the fires of Hell burning inside ... things I won't even mention to anyone.


Truthfully ... the flames of Hell burn in me ... they were instilled in me as a little girl as each 'bad' thing happened to me that no child should have happen.  I was a raging Hell-fire all through time until about age 28 (when Skip and I married).


I grew up to hate ... be mean, spiteful, to destroy others ... I was a most angry person with an awful chip on my shoulder ... as a young woman, something in me was always trying to go forward to be as good as I could be as a person.  I had a battle going on inside.


I found that when I did mean things toward others ... I was the one who felt the pain!  Is that amazing?  I learned when I did good things to others ... I felt so, so good inside.


My life growing up shaped me into that hateful, hating, angry person who hid everything with a sunshine smile.  Thankfully ... as a young woman ... my smile became who I really was inside ... a loving, caring, good person.


I have to say though ... people have mistaken me being a good, caring ... loving person through time meant I was ... easy. They shouldn't have done that because ... the fires of Hell still burn in me and I never forgot how to get down and dirty to fight a battle.  I grew up to be a fighter ... a warrior.  Of course, I don't fight physically but ... if need be ...


I'm not proud of that ... I'm proud I have learned to not be like that but, I do have a backbone of ... steel.  I don't like to be pushed that far ... but ... it's amazing to see someone's face when they realized they underestimated me ... and think they can get over on me.


It makes me sad when someone ever so often thinks because I care, smile ... good to them ... to think I'm ... weak.  I know what comes next ... they begin to think they will take advantage of me.  I have watched it play out until the number 3 ... then ... like my Grandma Alma taught me ... I 'nip it in the bud'.


Then ... it hurts me just as much as having to hurt someone to show them I won't be taken advantage of.  I'm sure all of you have encountered such times in your own lives.  Some people let others run over them ... I'm not a doormat ... I stop it.



This person may be a good person but ... I never forget someone who hurts me ... I forgive, never forget. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Part 16: Wildfire at Rainbow Mountain Park ...

Part 16:         Wild Fire at Rainbow Mountain Park ...                             Victoria Fairchild Saga Continues







Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Photo taken/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Note:
Part 1 through Part 16 is dedicated to my friend ... Ms Nancy Smith Satterwhite to read while recovering from her surgery.  I enjoyed writing for you, Ms Nancy.  It's been practice to begin writing once again.  I am going to continue writing The Saga of Victoria Fairchild here on my Blog.

Photo taken/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Victoria left through the gap behind the huge rock.  She walked slowly while listening.  She would go back if she felt she needed to.  Victoria finally came to the parking lot ... stood for a time looking back the way she came.





She heard a huge whoosh ... knew what it was.  Tom had already called for firetrucks ... the men were in the woods with the long hoses.  There wasn't anything she could do.





As Victoria drove away she saw barriers put up ... signs saying Do Not Enter.





When Victoria got home she began taking off her shoes ... clothes as she walked through the house.  She wanted her shower ... and she was going straight to bed.  She would turn the news on the tv in the bedroom.





Soon Victoria was in the big king-size bed.  She turned the news on.  She sat up when she saw there was a big wildfire at Rainbow Mountain Park!





She watched as the cameras panned around ... a journalist was talking to Tom.  He was telling her that someone must have dropped a cigarette while in the woods on the trail.  They would soon have the fire under control.  Victoria watched as the fire was being reported.





As soon as the news went off ... Victoria turned the tv off.  She took several breaths ... she fell asleep.  Her last thoughts were of the vicious animal-people no one knew about.  They were destroyed under the guise of a wildfire.





As her eyes closed she told herself that she would keep an eye on Rainbow Mountain Park.






Sometimes when we know something we can't ever tell it ... who would believe it anyway? By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.









The End ... Parts 1-16 are dedicated to my friend ... Ms Nancy Smith Satterwhite to read while recovering from surgery.  This gave me a chance to practice writing also.  I intend to keep on writing my Victoria Fairchild Saga and let it be ongoing.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.