Monday, November 5, 2012

The Pain Really Hurts...

The Pain Really Hurts...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Today has been a strange day... it's been sort of a 'Tommy Day'.  I had thoughts of Tommy when he smiled... in my mind I could see how his blue-green eyes would soften, shine with laughter.

I just let my mind see his face... his eyes could widen in unexpected surprise that someone could say something so funny to make him laugh.  Skip was so good at doing that... Tommy loved Skip with his heart.  He would use some of Skip's jokes to make people laugh.

To meet Tommy, one would see a tall guy (6 ft. 3 in.)... with a very muscular build, and the best posture a guy could have.  Tommy made a good impression on men, women alike.  Women really liked Tommy... even when he was very young... older girls liked him.

Tommy was a very thoughtful, caring person.  He would help someone in a minute, give someone the shirt off his back if they needed it.  He also, took up for the 'underdog'.  Not only that, Tommy was very protective of those he loved... he would walk through 'hell' for them.

My son... my precious son.  How I miss him with my very heart.  The holidays are just around the corner... we won't be having family for Thanksgiving, Christmas... he's gone.  Tommy is gone, Tommy died.  My only child has gone from my life.

The pain that I feel at this moment... oh God.  So much that it over-spills from my eyes in tears.  I've been thinking about Tommy all day.  I just had to tell you.

I just had to write the pain out in words... I just wonder if somehow Tommy can know the grief in my heart... I just wonder if he knows I miss him so badly?

I was thinking today of how I used to tell him often how much his mother loved him with her very heart.  I always told him, you know.

I would tell him that he never-ever had to wonder as I always did ... if his mother loved him.  I would tell him 'you know your mama loves you, son'.... I just saw his gentle smile in my mind when I typed those words.

I'm going to bed now, I may cry silently ... cry myself to sleep.  The pain really hurts.  Thank you all for being 'there', you mean the world to me.  Love, Granny Gee/Gloria


  1. I will not say I understand how you feel because I don't. But---I too can just see that smile of Tommy's. He did have a beautiful smile!Sometimes I ask God to allow me to dream about my nephew so that I can see and hear him once again. God does allow me to dream about him once in a while. I truly appreciate it too! It makes me sad in a way, but it also helps my heart to know that my nephew is in heaven with God. Your readers and I are always here to listen to you when you want to talk/write about Tommy. Love, Ms. Nancy

    1. Ms Nancy, it means the world to me that you, and my readers are always ... there. I know how you've grieved over your nephew.. I know you were very close to him. When I'm writing, I'm always 'looking inside'... I always hear you when you speak about your nephew though not every time have I told you. I know you hurt, also. I care very much. I'm always here, too... Ms Nancy.... and to my readers, also. Love, Gloria/Granny Gee