Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Would You ... Have A Double Mastectomy?

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee....

Would You... Have A Double Mastectomy?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I have been thinking about something... breast cancer; double mastectomy.

You know how it is when you see things, read about things... watch tv about different topics.  Well, I've been paying attention to information about breast cancer... double mastectomy.

You know how you begin thinking 'if it were me... what would I do?'  I am no different... I'm always 'putting myself in others' shoes'... trying to understand things I haven't experienced... thinking about 'what would I do if... it were me?'  I've never had ... breast cancer.

I'm a cancer survivor.  I have non-Hodgkins lymphoma... I'm in remission.  I am so grateful each day I'm in remission.  I fought a long, dark battle to 'come back'.  I was at Death's Door... I almost entered it.

I could see inside... I couldn't 'see life' anymore.  In fact, I was so sick... I didn't know I was living.  I was in a world no one could enter... the only thing I could hear, was Skip's voice (my husband).

This battle went on for three years... I won my battle.  I look back at what I can remember... when I first became aware of being alive, after my surgery... I 'knew' I was going to die.

The oncologist came into ICU... it sounded like she was screaming at me as I began waking up from the surgery.  Skip and the nurse had just sit me up... I couldn't see anyone.  I did hear... good.  I was in a gray world of fog... I never found her before she left the room.

She began 'screaming'... you have CANCER!!!  I was like a little tiny figure in my mind trying to hide in a corner.  The word 'cancer' loomed up in my mind just as you see it foot-tall letters.

I heard someone crying, sobbing their heart out.  Later, I knew it was me.  I knew I was going to die... the morning of the surgery, I remember looking up at Skip from the wheelchair I was in... saying, "I'm so glad I'm here... because I was going to die"!

The battle was long... hard.  I never was able to talk to anyone about my type of cancer... I was too ill.

Skip sat, talked to people in the waiting rooms, patients' loved ones and caregivers,doctors, nurses...  all through time... learning about it.  He was gathering information everywhere we went during those three years.

Skip was by my side... helping me to win my battle; pushing me. 'lifting' me when I would 'fall'; making me mad enough to fight when I'd quit.

When I knew I was going to die... he said he wouldn't let me.  He made me get up when I was very weak... go with him everywhere he went.  I can vaguely remember waiting for him in our vehicle... I people-watched through drugged, and very sick eyes.  Thank-God, for Skip.

I would have died ... then.  I would have died before seeing my child die.  He would have been the one going through the heartache, grief.  Even as sick as I was... I made Skip promise not to let him know.  Tommy was in Germany... he would have died coming home to his mama.

I lost my hair due to chemo drugs; I had shingles from the trauma of learning I had cancer... these are only... a couple of battles I fought.  I had never fought so many battles ... battles with Death, in my life... to win at ... living.

Our home burnt down; we lost all.  Skip was in two bad wrecks... at two separate times where a woman ran a stop sign; and the other when two young girls hydroplaned, hitting his front wheel of a tractor-trailer.

Many of my family members died on both sides... it was grief after grief... so much pain.  So many other things happened that were 'bad'... I won't write them all.

The thing is... everything eventually becomes... alright.  You will always hear me say, 'no matter how bad something is... everything's going to be alright'.  Even when my only child, my son... Tommy... died.  Everything has become... alright, again.

Getting back to cancer... like you... when I hear, see something... I think about 'what I would do'.  If... I had breast cancer, I would do like a lot of women do... I would have a double mastectomy.  Why?

Because ... I wouldn't want to chance it in the other breast.  Not only that... I have this thing about being 'even'.  It's something that's in me... I want all 'even' on me.  Call me silly, whatever... it is what it is.

What would you do ... if you had breast cancer?  Would you have a double mastectomy?

Enhanced by Zemanta

Monday, May 26, 2014

Sometimes... A Grieving Mother Fools Herself Until She's Tired Of It

Sometimes... A Grieving Mother Fools Herself Until She's Tired Of It
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

My published book, 'I Cry For Tommy'.  Written while in the throes of grief of losing my son...


For the past week... I have noticed that I have been trying to avoid thinking about the death of my son. I have been trying to... not grieve. Trying to not... be depressed.

Trying, by not thinking... putting my mind elsewhere when his name comes up in my mind. Looking at, doing other things until I am just tired of... trying to not think about Tommy not being here.

Grieving... I know this is all a part of grieving for someone I dearly loved with my very heart. My only child, Tommy. I've tried to think that I'm ... not ... grieving.

I've been pretending I'm alright... until tonight. I'm tired of it... I don't feel little panic attacks inside for nothing. My heart doesn't feel like that ...for nothing.

I'm not crying... so far, this is the first time since Tommy died... I haven't been crying when it's the anniversary date he left this world. He died... May 29, 2010 on a late Saturday evening.

This past week ... I haven't felt well at all... though, I've tried to. I've laughed, talked about everything... but, not about Tommy.

Don't feel sorry for me... this is life. Sometimes, life hurts. Sometimes... a grieving mother fools herself until she's... tired of it.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Won't You Help Me To Remember Tommy?

Won't You Help Me Always Remember Tommy?

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

(This is the story I wrote today... May 21, 2014, put on... )


This is the week 'before'... four years ago. Going back four years ago, how could I have known my whole world would... end? It ended for almost three years....

How could I have known that I would enter the darkness... not come back out of it for... almost three years?

How could I have known... I would become... someone else, but... still 'me'?

The week 'before' was a normal week... I never had any premonitions... no signs indicating my world would change... forever.

Mothers do have premonitions... I've had them 'before'... I 'knew' when something was wrong with my child... my only child; my son, Tommy.

'This time'... I never had an inkling 'something bad' was going to happen. I never had... anything to 'let me know'... my son was going to die... that week... Memorial Day weekend.

Memorial Day holidays are for happiness; good times. People take their first vacation of the year... a lot of times... to the beach.

Thank-God... the evening 'before'... he came, stayed several hours. The strange thing that did happen... thank-God, it did... was Skip, my husband stopped by at that time, while he was working.

It was unusual that Skip did that.... the timing was perfect. Tommy and Skip were as close as father, son. Neither liked the word 'step' father, 'step' son.

That evening, we all spent time together. Tommy pressured-washed our house with his equipment. We all sat down at the picnic table... to eat sandwiches with deli meats; drank iced tea.

While we sat there, Tommy kept the brightest smile on his sweet face.... his blue-green eyes twinkled.

"Mama", he said, "this is the best sandwich I've ever eaten". I looked at him, smiling. I said, "Tommy, no, it's not"! He began nodding his head at me, grinning. "Yes, they are, Mama"!

When Tommy smiled, it was like the sunshine coming out from behind the fluffy, white clouds to give the world a warm kiss of happiness. It never failed to warm this... mother's heart. I dearly loved my son; my only child.

Just before he left that evening... he stood on the deck talking to me. "Mama, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, play with Taban for the first time at the beach"! Taban was Tommy's only son; he was three years old.

Alot of his wife's family were going with her to Myrtle Beach. All the children were excited. Tommy and his wife had one child, together. Little Taban who was three years old.

Tommy wasn't going with them. He'd been going through a lot of grief from an accident that'd happened one year ago, in the same month... May (2009).

A man was killed... Tommy was haunted by it... he couldn't get over it. The man opened the car door, stepped out in the path of a tractor-trailer... in the middle lane of fast-moving... interstate traffic.

The driver tried to avoid hitting the man... he had a choice... run over a car on his left side.... with a family in it... or hit the man. He tried... to 'squeeze' between them. This was on a long bridge going over the river. Tommy's truck struck the man... this is a story for... later.

Tommy suffered mentally with survivor's guilt. He was a nervous wreck... he couldn't bear the thought that he was part of the man's death.

Anyway... Tommy changed his mind. He was going to go to the beach with his family... play with his little son on the sand, in the ocean waves. Tommy was excited! Something we hadn't seen since 'before' the accident...

We lived up on a little mountain we had named Fairchild's Mountain (after our beautiful, huge Rottweiler... he died with cancer).

That evening when Tommy left... he drove his pickup down the driveway, smiling his sunshine smile at me... calling "Bye, Mama! Bye, Mama"! I stood on the deck, waved... smiling at him until I couldn't see him anymore. I called to him, "I love you, Son"!

That was the last time... I saw my only child... alive. The next time...

My son, Tommy, died while running... playing on the beach with his little son. He collapsed on the sand... no one knew he had two blocked arteries to his heart. He died... right there.

You can learn more by visiting my blog at:

I also, wrote a book 'I Cry For Tommy'... while grieving for my child. I began writing my blog... when Tommy died. I write about how it feels to be... a grieving mother.

I write so, others can understand what a mother goes through when her child dies. I don't write about grief to get sympathy, or feel sorry for myself.

So, never think that ... when you read my stories about my life. I call the stories of my life... 'colors of my life'. Why? Because... colors are important to me...

I've lost almost everyone I've ever loved in my life. The only family I have now... my whole world... is Skip, my husband... and our three Pups. Kissy Fairchild, Sweet Chadwick Elsworth, and Precious Camie.

When a person writes... they write 'what they know best'. Sadly, what I know best is... mostly sad. I write about grief... child abuse, bullying, suicide; death... the paths taken in my life... my colors/stories.

I write about how life has been for me... my own life. I also, write good things... because no matter what... everything always gets... alright. So, don't think I'm a sad person all the time... I'm not. I love to laugh, be happy.

The positive thing is... that I've come through lots of 'bad' things since being a little girl... survived. I am shaped by all that touched my life. You would think I'd be a 'bad' person... but, I only became... a better, better person. A good person, a caring person.

I have many, many colors to share with you, through time. This gives you an idea of what 'I am about'. I have many unusual things in my life to write about... it's been different being a female. :)))

I also, write about what's on my mind... talk to you about different things.... maybe things in a way you haven't thought about. I make up poetry about life... no, I'm not a poet... but... I 'do it my way'. I do everything ... 'my way'.

I voice my opinions, sometimes... in a good way. I respect all that others say, think about. I never-ever argue with anyone. I never feel the need to... I know we all are different. If we were all alike... how boring life would be!

I am remembering my son, Tommy Mitchell Sidden, today. I've been sitting here thinking of him. I wrote my book so, that he'd never be forgotten... I'll never let him be forgotten.

Tommy was a wonderful, precious son. He lived... he was important, he was a person... a mother's only child; her only son.

I think every person who has died... needs to be remembered for the person they were. Like books in a library... there should be a library with everyone's life in a book... so, they didn't live for ... nothing.

A person doesn't have to be famous... just to be remembered. Maybe a 'family library of books' of each person who lived... telling what 'flavor' they were... meaning what kind of person they were in life.

Remembering My Son:

A tall, six foot... 3 inch handsome, strawberry-blonde hair with the biggest sunshine smile, and blue-green eyes. He was just as nice, as he was handsome.

Tommy Mitchell Sidden... died at the young age of 40. He died running, playing, laughing on the beach with his little three year old son, Taban.

No one knew Tommy had two blocked arteries... no one knew he was sick; going to... die.

Tommy died on May 29, 2010 on a late Saturday evening, at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Tommy was born November 20, 1969.

I loved my son with my very heart. I will always grieve for him... the difference 'now'... is that I have learned... acceptance that I can't bring him back; nothing I can do will make him live again. It took until recently... to finally reach this stage in life...

Won't you help me to always remember Tommy?



Monday, May 19, 2014

My Brother's Hammer...

My Brothers Hammer...

Submitted by grannygee on May 19th, 2014 –

My Brother's Hammer...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Today, I needed a hammer. I went to 'my tool drawer', took a hammer out... laid it on the countertop.

I closed the drawer back... stood there, remembering where I got the hammer. It's stainless steel, and on one side has the initial 'E'... on the other side, initial 'N'.

It's a homemade hammer, and it was given to me with love... years ago. I've always treasured the stainless steel hammer. I used to have a stainless steel flower that I also, treasured. Both hammer, flower were made by the same person.

That same person made a stainless steel grill that I always admired. He made it for his step-father, our mother. It was a wonderful grill.

The hammer, and flower were in the housefire where we lost all in it. I found the hammer... but, the flower never was found. I treasured this hammer even more.

I used the hammer, put it straight back up... so, it can never become lost. Why? Because it is my brother's hammer... he gave it to me.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Maybe ... Some Of The Black Slipped Off Its Wings!

Maybe...  Some Of The Black Slipped Off Its Wings!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Black, clear winged Dragonfly on bedroom screen...  5-17-2014

Taking the tiebacks off each curtain, I looked at the bed, as I let the curtains fall loose, close.  I was getting ready to turn back the bed-covers... I was looking forward to going to bed.

I looked out each window just before the curtains closed... to make sure all looked alright.  All through the night when I get up, I pull curtains back, to look out... it's a habit I developed years ago.  I don't do that unless we have night lights outside.  I am afraid of the dark.

Night before last... I had gotten up about 3:00 am.  I wanted to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator.  I pulled the curtain back with my hands... I froze.  There was something big on the screen... it looked dark with the nightlight shining behind it.

Surely it must be a big spider... a really big one, I thought.  I turned the lamp on... with the night light, and lamp light... I saw a big ...... dragonfly!  It was strange... looking.

Not only that, it isn't the kind we've always seen around here.  This was bigger, and ... black.  The wings were black, and .... clear!  I've never seen a dragonfly like that.  I wanted to wake Skip up to tell him about this dragonfly.

You see... since Tommy died, we've seen the most strangest, special dragonflies from time to time.  Including how I came to get the dragonfly picture in the frame; and one of the Pups bringing a 'dragonfly' into the house... it was a root shaped like a dragonfly!

Tommy loved dragonflies.  We 'feel' Tommy when a dragonfly appears, and is ... unusual.  This dragonfly on the screen... was very... unusual.

I took photos of the dragonfly.  During the next day I went to the bedroom to check on it... it stayed there all day on the screen.  Last night, just before going to bed... I checked on it.  It was still there, and I thought... it was dead... stuck on the screen.

Last night, I got up about 3:00 am... I opened the curtains to see the dragonfly... it was gone!  I woke Skip up when I said aloud that the dragonfly was gone!  I didn't want it to be gone.

At least I have photos of the unusual dragonfly... its wings are very interesting.  Black and... clear.  I told Skip ... maybe it's a sign from Tommy... maybe some of the black slipped off its wings when it .... squeezed out of ... Heaven!  Yes, I saw it in its 'dragonfly form'... and now, I see it in the photos... maybe some of the black slipped off its wings!

Note by Author:  This really is strange... and we've been surprised by 'strange dragonfly things' ... since Tommy died.  A lot of you know this, as each time I wrote about them.  So... what do you think?
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Enhanced by Zemanta

Friday, May 16, 2014

Mustard Hearts...

Mustard Hearts...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Look closer... what do you see
A woman standing at the counter in her kitchen
She is doing something that makes her smile

Look a little closer, watch her hands
She seems to be drawing... with a squeezable mustard bottle
Drawing... mustard hearts... on slices of bread

Her hands lovingly places slices of deli meats over the mustard hearts
She places another slice of bread with a mustard heart inside
On top... a sandwich made with love from her very heart

Many years have gone by... many sandwiches her husband has eaten
Sandwiches with the words 'I LOVE YOU', and hearts... drawn, written inside every sandwich
He never knew until she one day told him... inside each sandwich you've eaten... I put my love.... by drawing mustard hearts

Enhanced by Zemanta

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I Don't Need To Go On Jerry Springer Show... I Told Skip My Secret That I Kept For Years...

I Don't Need To Go On Jerry Springer Show... I Told Skip My Secret That I Kept For Years...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Slices of soft bread lined the countertop where I was making sandwiches.  I went to the refrigerator to get the deli meats to put on each.  I didn't forget the cheese...

I had on my mind a confession I wanted to make to Skip.  One about love...  In fact, once I told him, I would back it up with photos, so... he could understand.  You know how life is... we do things... sometimes.

I wanted him to know what I have... unknowingly... to him... been doing.  I've been committing this... act... over and over... he never knew it.

You know how it is... one thing leads to another.... and before you know... a lot of time has passed... and .... you are still doing it.  I was still doing it... with passion, love.  Now... it's time to tell Skip...

I was wondering if I should contact Jerry Springer Show... make a big deal out of it... like everyone else does?  Would you help me make a decision?

When I tell you... you'll understand what's been on my mind.  I know I should have probably felt guilty all these years doing what I have done...  I know I should, but... I have to say... I'm not.

Don't look at me that way, please.  You'll understand in just a moment what I've been doing secretly for years.  You might decide... you could do it... get away with it, like I have.

I look at the bread slices lined up on the countertop... I'm about to do it again.  I always feel good when I do what I'm about to do... it has to do with the... secret.  Actually... IT is the secret.

I go back to the refrigerator... I reached for the squeeze bottle of... mustard.  NOW... it's almost time to do what I love to do, have done unknowing to Skip... all these years.

I just called Skip ... to come see.  I decided I don't need to go on Jerry Springer Show... I told Skip he'd understand when I showed him photos of what I've been doing all this time.  I told him, I needed to make a confession to him... I can't live with not telling him anymore.

I showed him two photos.  He stood looking at them, as I told him what I have kept secret for so long.  He just stood there....

I saw a light come in his eyes... watched as his lips began... to smile.  You know what he said to me?  "I love you, Monst".

I will tell you now, what I've been doing.  I've been using the squeeze mustard bottle to ....

To draw inside of each of Skip's sandwiches.  I draw, I write ... in mustard.... I write the words, "I Love You".

You can see the hearts I drew inside his bread slices.  He knows now, that for all these years, whenever I make him a sandwich... it's been full of... love.

I don't need to go on Jerry Springer Show, now.  I told Skip my secret... that I kept from him for years.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Monday, May 12, 2014

None Of The Above...

None Of The Above...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... Oh, to be like this again... :)))))

I want to get a boob job; cosmetic surgery on my face... you know... remove some wrinkles, tighten up the old chin.

I have most all my teeth... so, I don't need any new chompers.  I think I'll get laser surgery on my eyes, so... I don't have to wear my big, old reading glasses.

I thought about having weight loss surgery... am still deciding on it.  I wouldn't have to have loose skin removed... as mine is still elastic... almost as elastic as the elastic... in my panties.  Pop!

Weight loss surgery... I've thought about this one quite a bit.  I've read, paid attention to people who have undergone it.  Some of those people die in a year or so, afterwards.

I read enough to know that sometimes, some people can't ever get the nutrition from their food, anymore.  They have to take vitamins, and such.

I read also, that you can eat... but, not drink at the same time.  You have to drink something thirty minutes later... the stomach can only hold so much, after that surgery.  Suppose I am very thirsty?  If I drink what I want... while I'm eating... would it, also... be ... pop!

I've noticed that the people I've seen... afterwards... lose a lot of their healthy appearance.  Their faces look so tired, somehow... not as healthy as they once looked.  That bothered me... I don't want to look any worse...

This is one thing I'll keep on the back burner.  I'm 'not dying to be thin'.  I've been thin... loved it... I loved dressing my body then... it was wonderful.  I had to starve to stay little... when I say 'starve'... I mean, I literally starved myself for years.  I won't do that again.

I like my clean, real fingernails.  I've resisted for years... getting all the fake, beautifully-colored nails.  You know how I dearly love colors!  I've been very tempted to get them.... the designs, colors keep luring me.

I've decided I won't go get a boob job.... it would be like hauling two big melons around on my chest.  Not only that... I'm happy just being ... me ... so, I'm going to have to say... no 'none of the above' up there, for me.

The one thing I would like to do, is to lose some weight.... I just need to eat in moderation... it happens fast.  I won't get one of those surgeries, after all.

Really... I'm afraid to... I think about people who have... and in a year or so, they died.  I know three people that did.  These are my fears, I don't know about yours.  I can only speak for myself.

Yep... I think I'll just stay myself.... and not do... 'none of the above'.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sunday, May 11, 2014

"Ma'am, I Have A Man Collapsed Here On The Sand... He's Not Breathing"...

"Ma'am, I Have A Man Collapsed Here On The Sand... He's Not Breathing"...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.... 2013

Tommy ran with Taban on the sand, playing in the warm wind to the music of the ocean waves washing ashore.

The seagulls sang in the background.  The most beautiful music.... as if it were music piped down from the heavens, above.

Laughing, happy... forgetting the world around them... it was just father and son...... the sounds of the ocean... soothing, relaxing... beautiful.

The sun was shining down on them with a smile, kissing their skin, the sand they walked, ran on.

At that moment... not a care in the world.  They were the stars on stage... the sunshine was a spotlight on them.  Father and son... life was about them... at that very moment.

A special moment in time become a memory in a little boy's mind.  A memory of his father... to last him a lifetime....

Squeals, laughter like musical notes... rode on the wind, carried in the air to a small group of people near by.  It caught their attention, made their hearts happy to see the sight in front of them... father and little son... running to rhythm of the ocean's waves.

They watched with smiles... a soft light in their eyes.  A warmness filled their very hearts.  How beautiful to ... see a father running, playing with his little son.  They turned away for a few moments... distracted by whatever......

They never saw the moment the father missed a beat to the music... they never saw him collapse on the sand.  They did see a little boy tugging at his father, trying to get him to get up... let's go play.

"Come on Daddy, let's run, play!  Get up, Daddy"!  They watched several moments, realized something was wrong.  Everyone in the group ran to where the father lay on the warm, wet sand.... to where the little boy was trying to get his daddy to get up, come play.

One of the people knelt down on the sand to speak to the father;  he realized something was very wrong.  They all formed a protective circle around the child, father... it was up to them to protect the child until someone came...

One of the men saw the cellphone laying close by, picked it up... looked at it.  He pressed the last number called, never knowing it was calling a home two hundred miles away... he was trying to get help.

"Hello"!  A woman answered with excitement, a big smile in her voice.  She had looked at the Caller Id... seeing it was her son calling, she answered the phone quickly.....

As she stood there, still smiling... an expression of confusion spread over her face.  She still smiled, asking in a soft voice... "why do you have my son's phone"?

Her mind didn't let her make sense of the man's words.... she asked again, "why do you have my son's phone"?

If one was watching ... they would have seen the smile slipping off her face... to this day, she has always thought about that particular smile.

She knew where that smile went... into darkness where she soon... followed.  She had just ... died ... with her son.  Her life stopped... for over two years.

"Ma'am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand, he's not breathing"......

Tommy called me to say, "Mama, we are only seven miles away".  I told him to call me back soon, to tell me about playing on the beach with Taban.  I wanted to hear all about it.

The call I got a short time later... was from a strange man's voice...  "Ma'am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand, he's not breathing"...

I am left with the memory of the evening before ... he excitedly told me he was going to play with his son at the beach for the first time!

Tommy's eyes danced with happiness... eyes of blue.  His voice was excited.  His mouth smiled as he told me, his mother... what he was so happy about.

There was a glow about him... of pure happiness... he was looking so forward to going... did he have any idea... premonition?

The happiness was so... beautiful.  I can still see it in my mind.... truthfully, if I think about it much... I can ... feel ... it.

Do you know... I have 'seen' this 'specialness' .... before.... just before...

This is part of my ... last memory of my son when he lived.

Somehow, even that day .... his smile was so extra-bright, beautiful.  Strange... so extra-special.

Thank-you, God... for letting me have time with my son the evening before.  Thank-you for the beautiful memory... I remembered two and a half years later.  I had forgotten... I had forgotten ... everything.

I thought my life had ended... without consciously thinking it... when the strange man's voice said, "Ma'am, I have a man collapsed here on the sand... he's not breathing"......


Note by this author:

Don't feel sad for me... I had my last, happy Mother's Day with my son just a couple of weeks before he died on May 29, 2010.

I'm so thankful we were close... and I got to spend unexpected time with him the evening 'before'... and talked to him an hour 'before'...

I'm so thankful I have my memory of seeing him driving down the driveway, waving at me.  "Bye, Mama!  I love you"!  ... with that bright, beautiful smile on his face.

I am sitting here, smiling this Mother's Day, with my memories.  I couldn't ... do this before.  Now... I can.

Everything is going to be alright, now.  Don't feel sad for me... I say to you... Happy Mother's Day!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Saturday, May 10, 2014


Love, Gloria
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

Your comment... your meaningful words mean the world to me.  You made my Heart feel... something.  Something that touched it deeply.

You don't have to be related to me, nor... be my friend... to make me feel caring.  Thank-you for bringing a special warmth to my Heart... even Soul... that wasn't there before your words.

I know you don't have to do that... that's what makes your words special.  You don't have to say anything... I'm no one to you.  You could be doing something else with your time.  You aren't obligated to take your time to sit, write anything at all... to me.

Sometimes, your words... thoughts evoke heartfelt emotion from me.  Tears fill my eyes, and I feel this soft, heart-touching feeling inside.  Oh my... that's some kind of feeling ... I compare it to standing by the warm, crackling fire in a cozy fireplace on the coldest day of winter.  So warm, safe... happy.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to feel that way all the time?

When I write words back to you... I hope they touch your heart in the same way.  I don't write idle words... when I say them, I mean them in the most sincere way.

Words without meaning... are like eating food without flavor; looking at the world in black and white... seeing no color.  These are my words... so, if you think them 'silly'... it's my fault.

When I say... 'Love, Gloria'... know that you touch my very Heart in the nicest of ways.  Know that I feel affection for you in the nicest way.  Know that I am never anything more than sincere... that I am not 'in love' with you as a man, woman love each other.

Skip... now, that's a different story... I am in love with my husband, who means the world to me.  :)))  So, know I'm never 'flirting'... nor am I 'looking for love'.  Skip is my ... everything in life.  I have known love... I would never look anywhere else for it.  I have enough love for the rest of my life...

I realize a lot of people 'play games' on their computers... secretive games.  Just know that I don't.  I am open, as honest as I can be to people I know, don't know as I need to be.  I'm a good person; I believe in good things.

Why do I write this to everyone?  Well, because... sometimes, people can wonder why someone would say, like I do.... 'Love, Gloria'... when answering a comment, or such.

Whenever you see that I've done that... and I promise you will see it... just think to yourself... somewhere along the way in time... that person has 'touched Gloria's Heart' ... in some way.

Now... you'll know... that I am sincerely a good person... caring; most of all... a very real person.  :)))  Not only that... many of you... touch my very Heart.

Love, Gloria

Enhanced by Zemanta

Friday, May 9, 2014

MY Homemade Potato Salad ( Mine is best! :)))

MY Homemade Potato Salad (Mine is best! :)))

Submitted by grannygee on May 08th, 2014 –
MY Homemade Potato Salad
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny (Mine is... best! :)))

Chopped onion
Sweet Relish
Boiled eggs, diced
Cubed potatoes, cooked

You can use as much of each ingredient as you like. This is how... I make my potato salad. Skip and Tommy always loved it. Skip still says it's the best he's ever eaten.

Put sweet relish, chopped onion in a bowl... let sit together for the time it takes to peel, wash, dice your boiled eggs. I think the flavors meld together, making the onion and relish taste... so good!

Drain your cubed potatoes when they are thoroughly cooked. Put in a big bowl.

Put your diced eggs in with potatoes. Add onion/relish. Put several spoons of mayonnaise (you'll know what ... you ... like!) on top of ingredients.

Squeeze mustard on top of all ( remember, you are the judge on how much ... you ... want to use ). You may want it very 'yellow', or very 'mustardy'. I only want it to be 'just right'... so, I squeeze 'what I want'. :)))

Take a big spoon, begin stirring all the ingredients together. Make sure all is mixed well. The more you stir, the creamier it becomes.

I stir all until 'all is just right'. :))) I 'know' when I have it ... 'the way I want it'. You be the judge. I've given you the ingredients for the way I make my potato salad. You adjust it your way.

Oh, I put it in a pretty, clear bowl. You might want to sprinkle a little paprika on top... it is pretty! Put a piece of plastic wrap over the top; place in refrigerator. Chill. :)))

You Better Not Have Over Three People At A BBQ In Your Back Yard... Unless You Want To Go To Jail!

You Better Not Have Over Three People At A BBQ In Your Back Yard... Unless You Want To Go To Jail!

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Don't think of inviting over three people over for a BBQ. Over three people can land you in jail.

I've been watching with interest to see what happens in Virginia. They are having meetings now, to determine if they can stop large crowds of people at homes.

Why? It is to prevent how all the cars are parking along the streets. Not only that, last year some people were selling tickets to a concert... in their back yard.

I'm curious to see if the freedom of having a crowd of people over for a BBQ... is going to be illegal.

People were bringing up that they have large families, friends... it would be wrong to make more than three people illegal.

What do you think? I don't know what I think at this point. I do know that I worry for the freedom to do things we've always taken for granted... are being taken away... one by one.

How would you feel if you were told that you'd better not have more than three people in your backyard for a BBQ?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Hit That Mute Button!

Hit That Mute Button!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Kissy Fairchild... our precious Rottie... 2014

We were watching Two and a Half Men... it's one of Skip's favorite evening shows.  It is funny... even I laugh, sometimes.

There's one thing about it that bothers us.  We have to hold the remote control in our hands at all times.  Why?

Because when the theme song comes on... our Rottweiler, Kissy Fairchild, becomes very upset.  He begins howling.

Sometimes, we forget.  We could be in the kitchen, and just before a commercial... the theme song comes on... and Kissy begins howling.  Oh my... what a fuss!

We begin getting to the remote control as fast as possible to hit the ... mute button!  Sometimes, Kissy is too far gone howling... and won't stop.

We begin baby talking to him to make him not cry anymore.  If he is outside in the fenced-in yard, hears the theme song... he will begin to howl.  The neighbors hear him... we have to tell them why.

There's some commercial about a credit card, and cash back now!  Oh, Kissy hates that commercial!  He begins to howl.  We have to run for the remote control to press the mute button!

If Kissy hears a siren... he begins to howl.  Oh... there's one more commercial that comes on tv... that you would think he would love.  It's the 'bacon, bacon, bacon'! commercial.  Goodness, Kissy sure can do some ... howling.

Well, this evening when it was just before a commercial, the Two and a Half Men theme song came on... I had to frantically hunt for the remote control.  Too late... Kissy began howling... and even when I found the remote control, I pressed the mute button... he wouldn't stop!

Skip began telling him to stop howling, he'd give him some chicken!  Kissy dearly loves chicken, but... there was a problem!  We don't have any chicken in the house!

I was surprised!  Skip doesn't usually tell our Pups a story!  I quickly told him to not lie to Kissy... and our Chadwick, and Camie.  They had run to him to get chicken, also!

I told Skip I couldn't believe he lied to our Pups like that!  Skip was laughing at me... I told him that he knew how our Pups understood what we said.  Sometimes, we have to spell out the words!

So, here in our home, when certain sounds happen... we have to run for a remote control, hit that mute button!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

I Haven't Forgotten How It Felt To Be A Mother

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... Summer 2013......................

I Haven't Forgotten How It Felt To Be A Mother
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

This weekend is a special time for mothers.  It used to be special for me...  I used to be a mother.  Now... I don't have a child.

I still haven't figured out what I am now, since my son died.  You know... when a woman's husband dies... she becomes a ... widow.

So... when her child dies... what does she become?

Do you know that to lose a child ... is ... the worst thing to happen to a mother?  I'm fortunate to be this far now...

I didn't know I would make it to... today.  You see... after a mother's child dies... at that time... she doesn't know she is living ... she died with her baby.

On 'that' medicine from the doctor... (I just can't remember the name of it) ... one isn't aware... it somehow, puts a 'buffer' between you, and the pain, grief.  You know ... like you see on tv where people will put books in the rear of their pants... to keep a whipping from hurting.

The medicine kept me from waking up ... to know that my child died.  To know the worst thing ever... had just happened.  Skip said he had to keep watching me... I slept like I was... dead; barely breathing.

I could have gone crazy/mental... never to be any good to anyone anymore.  I could be wandering the earth looking for my son until the day I die.  I could have been a lot of things... but, I made myself go... forward.

It took over two years... to at least to begin to even care again... about living.  It was very hard 'to come back'.

Hell yes, it has hurt all this time.  I can't tell you the pain I've lived with.  I'll always live with it... the positive is... though I hurt, I'm very aware of living... and can grieve, live at the same time... and alright.

Another positive... is that now... I have reached acceptance that my son is gone.  I didn't know I could ever do this.  It didn't come easy...

May is a sad month for me.  For now, I won't write about it.  Some days I feel emotionally-fragile... it's best to leave it all alone.

Many sad things happened in May... my brother died... a man stepped out of his car in front of Tommy's big truck... that was the beginning ... of the end.  Tommy never could get over it... survivor's guilt.  He died one year later.  Tommy died in May... the 29th.

Accepting a child's death... you can't stop the pain; it'll always be there.  Just accepting doesn't magically make it 'all go away'.  It doesn't mean 'one will be alright all the time'.

Acceptance means to me... that I know my son has died.  I know I will never see my son again.  I'll never hear his voice again; hear his laugh again; never hear his words, "I love you, Mama", again.  I'll never see the twinkle in his eyes, his funny expressions....

I was in the process of making my art-room into a combination art-room/dressing room two days ago.  I came across a plastic shoe box.

This particular shoe box doesn't hold a pair of shoes... it holds two white ribbons.  When I look at the 'white' ... I feel darkness.

Well, I opened the shoebox up... took the two ribbons out to hold in my hands.  My mind 'closed up'... my head began hurting; I felt as if someone hit me in the stomach.  I wasn't expecting it.

It took several hours for the effects to go away.  I couldn't believe how it affected me.  I know now... it will be some time before I will be able to open Tommy's Chest....  those ribbons came from flowers... or something from... that night Tommy lay in that... box.  My mind can't remember..... I don't want to.

See, accepting a child's death means you know that child has died; you know he's not coming back; you know there's not one thing you can do to change the fact... your child is... dead.  You accept you can't do a thing to make it different... go forward in life.

Now, if all that pain could lessen.  I don't know how to make it lessen... I thought it had.  It's like beneath the surface of our skin... we bleed if we are cut.  One doesn't have to be cut deep... to ... bleed to death, if something isn't done about it.

Getting back to Mother's Day... I sit here thinking that I wish every Mother the most wonderful day.  I will be alright on Mother's Day... I may be sad... but, everything will be alright.

I don't think I'll go into a depression this time... this year.  I've meant to be alright, I work hard at being.  I have Skip, our Pups... to think about.  They are my whole world.

Tommy died May 29, 2010...  a man stepped out of his car into the path of Tommy's big truck on May 19, 2009; my brother died in May...

The nicest thing about May is that May 13th is Skip's birthday.  :)))

Also, there will many, many happy Mothers in this world... there will be many, many smiles... tears of joy.  I'm happy for them... you see, I haven't forgotten how it felt to be a Mother.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you... I feel tears of joy in my eyes, Heart... for you.

I haven't forgotten how it felt to be a Mother...

Enhanced by Zemanta

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Blah, Blah, Blah… Blah… Blah… Blah, Blah

Blah, Blah, Blah… Blah… Blah… Blah, Blah
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

efc63-4-20-2013075   Blah, Blah, Blah… Blah…Blah… Blah, Blah

Blah, blah, blah… blah, blah… blah, blah, blah. I know you are wondering what this is all about.

Well, there is a commercial that’s begun to come on tv. The distinguished gentleman is sitting at his desk, up in some high-rise office building.

It’s late in the evening… he is looking out over the city.
It’s dusk… the night-lights are twinkling everywhere the eye can see. I felt the ‘peace, quiet’ as I looked, trying to see through his eyes. His office was dimly lit by the lights.

As he looks out the huge windows, he begins to say… ‘blah, blah, blah’… looks around, and says, ‘blah, blah, blah… blah, blah… blah’.

So, why am I writing about this commercial? Because, I love it. I just love that he is so, relaxed… looking around saying, ‘blah, blah, blah… blah, blah… blah’.

I don’t know any other way, or have any other reason to tell you ‘why’… I love this commercial, other than what I've just written. :)))

Blah, blah, blah… blah… blah… blah, blah.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Friday, May 2, 2014

Where One Thing Leads To ... Another

Where One Thing Leads To Another... Life Is Like That Sometimes
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Life is like that sometimes... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Why? Why? Why?  Why did you sleep with her?  You hurt me!  I'm sorry; I love you to death.  I've been just depressed; you've been smothering me... you're too controlling.  It... just happened!

Tears flowing down her face... pain fills her green eyes.  Screams begin blasting from her throat.  'WHY? WHY? WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

The sound of flesh slapping flesh fills the air.  You bas___!  You cheated on me!  I hate you!  Why? Why? Why?

Don't you slap him!  A red-headed woman ran up, began slapping the green-eyed woman.  A big fight began... the green-eyed woman was very angry.  She knocked the red-headed woman to the ground, kicked her in the ass!  That'll teach your ass!

The older man stood there, watching.  He looked out over the audience.  The two body guards broke the women up, pushed them back from each other.

I'll go with him again if I want to!  You can't stop me!  The green-eyed woman ran toward the red-headed woman once again.  You b___!  If I kill you, you can't touch my man, anymore!

They both fall to the stage, hard.  Legs kicking, dresses up to their mid-waist... arms flailing!  The green-eyed woman slapped the red-headed woman!  Everyone began clapping!

They wanted the red-head 'to get hers'.  Sure enough... the green-eyed woman whipped the s___ out of the red-headed woman.

The two guards had a hard time separating them.  When they did, the green-eyed woman began holding her trophy up high in the air.  She had a handful of long, red hair ... waving it around.

She turned around, her rear facing the red-headed woman.  She bent over... told her to kiss her ass.  The guard held the red-headed woman back.

The older man stood in the center of the stage, he had a slight smile on his face.  He was wondering what 'trailer park in the south' these two women were from.  Their... accents ... gave them away.

He walked out into the audience, chose a young student to stand up.  You've been chosen to take us to the next commercial!  The audience begins clapping.... chanting!

What show is it?  Where most everyone says... 'one thing leads to another'?

Note by this author:

We were sitting here, watching this show.  Really, it's entertaining... funny... and sad, all at the same time.

What's sad is that young people, even older people... experiencing a cheating boyfriend, spouse, girlfriend are feeling pain.  The grief in their faces, voices... tell it all.

What's funny... are the crazy things that they say... caused them to do these things.  We all know about those... crazy things.  It's how far, one lets it go.  We all know... 'how one thing leads to another'...

Strange enough... most all these people are from the.... south.  Don't people up north... out west, east... do these things, also?

Oh... and it must mean that people who live in houses... would never do such things!

Some people call this show 'trashy'... others just enjoy it for what it is... entertainment.  I enjoy it... because I'm always amazed at what I see!  It's a form of people-watching... there's some strange people on there!

I will say that sometimes, my heart is touched.  When it is... that's when I... love to see the victim 'whip the ass' of the culprit!  This stems from childhood... it's in me... and life is like that... whether you, or anyone... or myself ... likes it or not.  It's real life... life's not perfect.

Enhanced by Zemanta