Colors Of Life Make The World Go 'Round ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
You are scaring me! Don't tell anymore scary stories, Faye! Of course, this prompted me to tell more gory stories ... embellishing them with all kind of details! I loved scaring my cousins with my made-up stories. I could tell funny ones, too!
One of my cousins ... would tell me I was scaring her, and she could see my eyes glowing in the dark! She died in a horrible crash with a log truck. It was really a bad time ... our home had just burned down several days before.
I remember in my shock ... that both of us were in the newspaper at the same time... house burns down; horrible crash. We would have never imagined such growing up ... several months before that ... her brother, my cousin committed suicide (many people say it wasn't suicide).
My imagination works overtime ... not all the time, but ... a lot of the time. I think of the craziest things ... don't ask me 'where' it all comes from. I have cousins who are like me ... they also, loved to write. In fact, no one knew that I loved to write all these years! Not until after Tommy died ... I think I shocked everyone.
In fact, some people seemed to resent it very much. Especially when I got a book in print. When I'd see 'old friends' ... it seemed to piss them off. In fact, one woman began backing away from me ... she didn't believe me ... she thought I'd lost it because my son died.
I'll never forget how she hurt my Heart ... I would have expected better of her. I don't even acknowledge her when I see her ... it's like she is a stranger. You know ... give a polite smile, go your way.
I guess I would have to say, expect losing some 'friends' if you write (notice I put parentheses around 'friends' ... that means ... they were never friends to begin with ... I 'see' through people).
They hate you, are jealous of you ... or they hope you'll be famous, and 'they are your friends, relatives', then. If they find out you aren't famous ... they quickly drop you. It's funny ... when/if the day comes ... they won't be a part of it.
I am not famous, just an unknown author. I don't mind being that ... I did what I wanted, I'm so glad I did. I wrote a book about my grief when my only child, my son ... Tommy, died. He won't ever be forgotten ... never- ever. He is the reason I began writing, letting others know I write.
I accomplished what I meant to ... people all over the world know who Tommy was ... they won't forget him for me. It means the world to me.
My second book is a thin book ... an introductory to Victoria Fairchild. She is my main character ... she's the kind of person who takes care of business if she sees someone mistreating either animals, or people. She will do whatever it takes ... even to the point of making sure ... it never happens again.
My third book, is about the little puppy I rescued. For some time, I couldn't write at all after that book. I went through a lot of pain, grief never knowing 'why?' As the months rolled on, I began to come back ... to write again.
My three published books can sell ... or not sell ... I don't worry about them ... I just keep writing. Not only that ... I have copyrights to them ... I'm happy to have them! I've never held a book signing, yet ... it doesn't matter. Maybe it will some day, right now ... it's no big deal ... don't ask me 'why?' ... I sure need the money, would welcome the money.
Lately, it's felt really good to write about something ... about nothing ... just write. I'm inspired enough to work on my second Victoria Fairchild book. I want it to be just the scariest book! Victoria Fairchild is a wonderful person ... and the best person to have on your side. She is going to be just as bad ... as she is good. She will use her imagination to take care of 'bad' people.
No matter what someone thinks ... the world always needs someone mean enough ... tough enough ... to protect the weak. Someone who will go to any lengths to protect once ... and for all; Victoria Fairchild meets all that ... and more. She doesn't leave loose ends that can come back to bite one in the ass.
She has a cousin who is 'tit for tat' ... she has powers, also. You'd never believe what she paints her paintings with. She is just as dark as Victoria is fair. Neither knows how far the other's powers go ...
These are some of the thoughts in my mind on this Monday evening. Fall time is around the corner ... it's my favorite time of the year. I actually feel excitement this year.
In fact, since Tommy died in 2010 ... it's taken this long for me to begin to feel excitement about anything. I can't believe the actual thrill inside when I think about fall things, the State Fair, holidays. I'm so thankful to feel all these things once again.
Once I accepted Tommy can't come back no matter what I do ... and that he knew I loved him with my Heart ... he loved his mother with his Heart (me) ... that it's okay to begin living life again ... gradually, I have gotten better.
I look back at the journey I have been on ... and think 'Oh God' ... it was so scary, lasted so long, so dark. A part of me died ... my only child ... I can't believe I've come this far ... I made it ... I really made it through. I'm amazed ... because I ... knew the thoughts that were in my mind, 'then'.
Yes, I made it through the darkness ... the darkest of dark I've ever experienced in my life. I'm glad I can't remember 'all', now. Everything seems ... like a dream. But ... that's the way of 'bad' things ... it really does take time ... to get past them.
I think sometimes, I worry someone will think ... I am bad ... when I'm writing my scary story :) Then again, one can't control the characters in a book ... the story has to go on. The characters do, speak for themselves ... you just write them.
You don't tell your characters what to do ... they tell you what they will do ... your hand just brings them to life, just as a potter makes a beautiful vase. You weave your words like a weaver ... splashing colors here, there to make it interesting to read.
Scary colors ... happy colors ... sad colors ... mad colors. Colors of life make the world go 'round.
Photo/Story owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)