"Mama ... Everything's Going To Be Alright" ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee
A young mother gives birth to a baby boy
The birth was unlike anything she'd ever known
She had an unusually hard time bringing her child into this world
Be quiet, the nurse tells her, quit making noise
The mother is in horrible pain, bites her hand to hold it in
Other women older than her, were crying ... moaning
She had been the only one who was quiet at the beginning
Until she couldn't bear the pain any longer
Now ... she was told to be quiet ... she really tried to
The night before her baby was born, there was an earthquake
She was in labor, in the worse pain
Felt her bed move, thought it was her imagination
Maybe her little son was fighting to not be born
He was carried 10 months in the womb
Labor induced on a Monday ... he was born on Thursday
All signs pointed to her baby not wanting to be born
Looking back as an older woman, she 'sees' why
Her son went through much heartache, sadness in his life
She remembers panicking when her son was a few weeks old
Looking down at his sweet, little face
Oh, my God, what have I done ... bringing a child into this mean, old world?
Thoughts of not being able to protect her child from pain in life
Made her lose her breath ... oh, why ... did she bring this innocent baby
Into the world? She held her baby close to her chest, closed her eyes
She knew she would protect him all she could
Also, knew ... there would be many times she couldn't keep him
From feeling pain ... feeling pain in his heart, his body
She knew very well the pain life could have as one became older
Being betrayed, hurt by people who claim to love you
The worse being family one was brought up to trust
Please God, protect my little baby all through his life
Don't let him know the pain I've experienced
Please let people he trusts, never let him down
The mother worried over her child, he was a part of her
When he hurt ... she felt his pain just as if it were her
There came times in his life ... she couldn't protect him
Things he had to learn on his own ... he never knew how she cried
Knowing he was hurting ... couldn't take the pain of life's lessons
Away ... make it easier for him ... she would have if she could
Her baby grew up, she loved him with her very being
He was the only child she ever had ... she wouldn't have any more
Life was hard with only one child ... she couldn't bear to have another
Then ... one day ... a phone call came ... ma'am, I have a collapsed man
Here ... on the sand; he's not breathing
She ... died that day ... lived in darkness so, she couldn't see, hear ... think ... it was too much
Her mind keeps going back to the ocean where her son died
She hears the sea gulls in her mind ... they are always singing
Tommy, come home ... Tommy come home
Her mind focuses on the soft, damp sand where her son laid
Collapsed, no longer breathing ... two blockages in his heart
No one knew he'd been sick ... he died at the young age of ... 40
She 'sees' angels on either side of him, softening his fall to the sand
They stand, watching over Taban ... his 3 year old son, until ...
The little group of people noticed, came to help
In her mind, she hears the sea gulls joyfully singing ...
Tommy, come home ... Tommy, let your spirit soar with us
It's time for you ... it's your time to ... come home
No longer does the mother cry ... finally she has peace in her Heart
She wrote the grief in her Heart ... it was her only outlet
People all over the world, her husband ... comforted her
They read her words, cared with their Hearts ... shed their tears
Let her know ... she wasn't alone; Now, in her Heart
She wants to say thank-you to everyone of you who cared ... you mean the world to her
Thank-you from my Heart ... my readers/followers are a part of me
Just as my world (Skip and our 3 Pups) are to me
I treasure knowing I'm ... really ... not alone ... you are there for me
I've only become stronger for all my pain ... I'm alright, now
Four years, I fought the waves of grief ... became lost in the sea of darkness
Thrown against the rocks ... my soul tearing apart ... I couldn't bear the knowledge my only child was gone forever
Today ... almost 4 1/2 years later ... I've been waking up each morning
With joy, peace of mind ... happiness I haven't known in so long
Gratefulness in my Heart ... knowing ... everything is going to be alright
My only child died ... almost destroying me
The only comfort was knowing we were close, he knew he was very much loved ...
By the mother who brought him into this world ... who never knew ... she would live to see her only child ... die
I've outlived my son ... something no parent should have to do
I'm at peace, now ... the comfort of knowing nothing can hurt him
I can see his sweet, sweet smile ... his loving eyes, his soft voice saying to me ... "Mama, everything's going to be alright"
Photo/true poem is owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee &grannygee.
Note by this author:
I never thought I would see, feel happiness ... joy in the rest of my life.
Somehow ... a miracle has happened inside of me ... the sun shines on my very soul, warms my Heart ... making it easy for me to smile again.
I am so thankful ... no one can imagine what happens to a mother ... when her child dies. No one realizes that a mother comes close to death, herself ... coping with such a terrible knowledge.
It is a ... miracle ... when a mother can come out on the other side of grief ... to smile again.
I'm one of the mothers who can ... I know it is 'almost impossible' to reach where I am at ... inside. I made it ... I've really made it.
I have been writing my grief all this time, keeping my promise to 'tell you like it is' ... you know some of what I have experienced ... there's no way I could tell you 'all'.
I 'wanted to help myself ... wanted to come back' ... to make it to ... 'right now'. I 'wanted to come back' ... live the rest of my life smiling ... not waste it ... crying.
A mother can still grieve in 'a good way' for her child ... reach a point she can be alright, again. This mother can ... now.
Who would have thought my journey through the world of 'pure grief' ... would turn out this way? I'm so thankful ...
I promise keep my promise ... to keep writing about 'my grief' ... so, you can always 'see where I'm at' ... Love, Gloria/Granny Gee
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)