Sunday, September 20, 2015

I Was Seeing Tommy ... Time Stood Still

I Was Seeing Tommy ... Time Stood Still
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter

My son, Tommy ... and his son, Taban
(Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee)

The man walked by the freezers sitting in the frozen meat department of Walmart.  He was a little over six feet tall.  He had strawberry-blonde hair ... it was cropped close to his head.  He wore gold-rim glasses.

He was a handsome man.  I couldn't help but, stop ... watch him as he moved around with his family.  I heard his voice ... it made me smile ... tears came into my eyes.  He had a soft voice.

A little boy ran around him, his mother, and sister.  He was saying something to his daddy.  The man reached down, touseled the little boy's hair ... that was just like his daddy's.  I felt a pain in my Heart ... like someone reaching inside my chest ... squeezing it.

The man looked over, saw me ... nodded his head, smiled.  Just like Tommy would do to a stranger.  Polite, nice.

Emotion welled up inside my chest ... I felt the urge to cry.  Tears rolled in a warm flow down my cheeks.  Anyone watching me as I was watching the man would wonder why this middle-aged woman stood ... watching a younger man.

No one would know that for a few moments ... I was seeing Tommy.  I was seeing Tommy, my son ... my only child ... in the person of this man.  I was hearing Tommy ... hearing my grandson, Taban ... as they joked, played.

The world stood still ... I could only watch.  I forgot where I was.  I wanted to go over ... to look closer to see how much the man looked like Tommy in the face.  I was fascinated at how much he resembled Tommy.  At that moment ... I was seeing Tommy.

Note by this author:

I know it is always going to be someone to remind me of Tommy.  Tommy is my son who died May 29, 2010.  He collapsed on the beach (Myrtle Beach) ... died ... he was doing what he was looking forward to doing.  That was playing with Taban, his 3 year old son.

Tommy and his family arrived at Myrtle Beach that evening to spend a week.  He made it in time ... to go on his final journey.  No one knew Tommy had 3 blockages to his heart.  He didn't know it.

I cry for Tommy.  My tears are silent ... there's no crying aloud.  I grieve in silence.  My grief has been silent since that evening.  I never bother anyone with something they can't possibly help me with.

For five years ... I have worked through this grief.  For the first three years I couldn't face it ... I stayed somehow in darkness.  I couldn't cope living life without my precious son in it.

Thank God for my keyboard ... it has seen such grief, pain ... all silent.  Thank God for all of you who have been with me on this journey in my life.  I almost didn't make it to ... today.  I smile now ... everything is alright.  No matter how bad ... everything gets alright ... maybe not like before, but ... to the point where one can go on.

Photos/true story are owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

1 comment:

  1. I too have seen people that look like Tommy. I have also seen people that look like my nephew. I have even told people that they look like my nephew. I also told them "I know you are not my nephew because he was killed by a drunk driver". I too still cry for my nephew. Sometimes it is a quiet cry and sometimes I just let it out. He has been gone 11 years now but the pain is still there. So I understand when you see someone that looks like Tommy. Love, Ms. Nancy